27. 10,000 years is too far away, and it is only a day

Zhao Zheng rarely recalls the past, and his retirement from the army was a watershed, and his life was cut in half.

Sometimes I dream back in the middle of the night, and when I wake up, it seems like a world away.

But Jiang Yi's difficult choice at this moment overlapped with him at some point in the past.

It was one of many disasters. He sat in the car with two comrades-in-arms, who had just finished their mission and were driving on the dirt road in the mood of returning home. They talked and laughed until the wheels hit the mines, and the whole car was overturned in an instant. The high heat and impact instantly robbed him of consciousness. When he woke up and climbed out of the deformed carriage, he saw the stiffened body of the person whose face had been vivid a moment before, his pupils dilated, facing the direction of the sky, and blood flowing everywhere.

The driver was firmly stuck in it when he rolled over, and he was also out of breath, and the only surviving comrade remained, with an extremely deep wound cut on his neck. The comrades-in-arms covered their wounds and grinned when they looked at Zhao Zheng. Zhao Zheng pulled out the strip of cloth to help him cover it, and soon the strip of cloth was soaked in blood. There were no painkillers, they were in place and waiting for rescue.

The long cruel time, the wind and sand blinded the eyes, taking away the warmth of the body surface. There is no one around, and the sky and the earth are vast.

The person in front of him is like a brother, his face is distorted by pain, and he has to force hope. Blood came out from Zhao Zheng's fingers, sticky to the touch, Zhao Zheng pressed it with both hands, and his hands were red.

Zhao Zheng couldn't let his comrades-in-arms fall asleep, he kept looking for topics, and his hand that pressed his comrade-in-arms' wound slowly stiffened and became numb. They also joked, saying that it was a blood mold, and they went back to buy lottery tickets. These weak enemies, they say, are simply vulnerable. They say that the family is not living a good life and has a lot to do.

It was getting dark, and rescue was delayed. There is no more topic to whitewash the shadow of death, no topic to distract from the pain of comrades.

The sky and the earth are quiet, only the sound of the evening breeze blowing. In the silence, the faint voices of comrades-in-arms sounded.

"Let it go. I beg you... It hurts so much. ”

"No, help is coming soon. You hold on a little longer. ”

"It's useless when you arrive."

"Useful! Don't talk nonsense! ”

"I'm not afraid of death." He grabbed Zhao Zheng's hand and used his last strength, "Sue my wife, in the suicide note... I forgot to write it in the suicide note, I left, let her live freely. ”

"Shut up!"

"You let go, it's... Help me. Help me out..."

"I'm not going to let go!"

"Don't... Fear... Today is a... Day. ”

Zhao Zheng closed his eyes, detached himself from his memories, lowered his head and opened his eyes, Jiang Yi's face made him return to the present.

He took the towel from her face, her eyes twinkling with struggle.

If you haven't given up a life with your own hands, you can't understand the love in these eyes.

"You already know that he has no hope of survival." His voice was calm, and his fingers rubbed her face, "Let go, that's right." ”

"I can't do it." She shook her head, "I can't do it." ”

"Forget your pain and think of his pain." There was a sigh of compassion in his eyes.

Jiang Yi raised her arm to cover her eyes, she could no longer look at him, her reason said that he was right, but her heart did not want to be persuaded by him. She wanted to escape, to escape to a place where there was no need for cruel choices.

"Jiang Yi, leave the pain to us and let her be free."

Outside the window, the rain was pouring down, the rain washed over the streets, and the mud and dust flowed down the rain into the sewers, and the city was soaked.

Jiang Yi spent her birthday in such weather. The moisture condensed into droplets and slid down the corners of her eyes.

Zhao Zheng bent over and kissed her lightly at the corner of her eye. Leave the pain to us and set them free.

Draining too much heart, the side effects of alcohol drained her last of her energy, and she fell asleep in tears and exhausted.

In his arms, she had a red nose and wet eyelashes, curled up and alone, but her hands were clenched into fists, as if she was ready to fight. He wrapped his palms around her fists, hard bones, soft skin.

After a long journey, he finally met her.

Jiang Yi woke up from his deep sleep, the sky was dark and rainy. Looking at the clock, nine hours had passed, and it was noon.

She got up from the bed in the guest room, opened the door, and saw the erect back of the man by the window, who was talking.

The alcohol she ingested last night made her dizzy, and her vomited stomach was even more uncomfortable at the moment. She shuffled her steps, didn't bother him, and went to the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water enveloped her finely, and her mind woke up in pain, with great clarity. She clearly remembered every word Zhao Zheng said to her last night, she thought, she made a decision.

Wrapping up her towel, she dried her hair, opened the bathroom door, and looked down to see the clean clothes on the floor. She took it in and closed it again. It is Zhao Zheng's cotton short-sleeved top and home pants in solid color, with a faint aroma of laundry detergent, comfortable and fresh.

She wiped the mist from the glass with her hands, examining herself clearly from the small patch. Two fingers at the corners of his lips, pushing up, the person in the mirror smiled.

yes, laugh. Smile at the stabbing sword, smile at the gentle embrace.

"Go get a bowl of porridge." She came out of the bathroom, and Zhao Zheng pointed to the dining table, where he was on the computer and seemed to be busy with work.

Jiang Yi did it to the table as he said, the white rice porridge was steaming, and there was a plate of fried vegetables on the side. Jiang Yi picked up the spoon and scooped it up, it was soft and warm. She didn't have a good appetite, so she tried to finish it anyway. got up, she took the empty bowl into the kitchen, and when she turned on the faucet, Zhao Zheng's voice sounded: "I'll come." ”

Jiang Yi blocked his outstretched hand: "Just a bowl." I'm such a big person, can't I do this? ”

Zhao Zheng frowned and withdrew his hand.

Jiang Yi quickly washed the dishes, turned off the water, and raised his eyebrows to look at him: "At work?" ”

Her voice was a little hoarse, but her expression was much more vivid. Zhao Zheng shook his head: "When I see you, I don't want to work." ”

She raised the corners of her lips, hooked her hands around his neck, and stood on tiptoe to stare at him tightly: "Can you stand me?" ”

Zhao Zheng put his arm around her waist and replied calmly: "You just try." ”

She squinted, tilted her head suddenly, her lips pressed against the side of his neck, her teeth slightly open, gently sucking and squeezing. After a moment, she stepped back, her fingers satisfyingly rubbing the mark she had made for him.

"A tooth for a tooth?" Zhao Zheng grabbed her hand.

Jiang Yi pointed to the red mark on his neck: "I will report it." ”

Zhao Zheng grabbed the top of her hair, she lowered her head, put away her expression, and after a while, she raised her chin again and looked at him: "Today... I'm going to the hospital. ”

Hospital, attending doctor's office.

Many texts, running up and down, finally sat down in the office, white paper and black letters in front of Jiang Yi, the pen in his hand, weighing a thousand pounds.

Zhao Zheng put his hand on her shoulder and held it slowly, and many pictures flashed in Jiang Yi's mind.

On a rainy day, my grandmother was holding a small umbrella, she held my grandmother's hand, and in order to prevent her from getting drenched in the rain, half of my grandmother's body was soaked, but she didn't feel it.

On the day she got her college acceptance letter, her grandmother held the paper tightly, her wrinkled face shining brightly, tears flowing from her deep eyes, and she couldn't say a word for a long time.

When my grandmother came to Shanghai for the first time, she took her to the mall, but she was too timid to go in, saying that she was afraid of soiling other people's floors.

The fragments of all kinds of memories are mixed together, becoming the ink of the tip of her pen, falling on the paper, unwilling to slide for a long time.

Jiang Yi bit her lip, her hand trembled a little, she took a deep breath and pushed the pen in her hand.

The word "Jiang Yi" in the book indicates that she gave up the treatment of her grandmother.

Once the respirator is removed, it announces the complete coming of death.

Follow the doctors and nurses and watch them remove their ventilators. Jiang Yi held her grandmother's hand tightly, the hands that had led her home, the hands that had protected her, she held them desperately, as if she was the last to stay.

Her heartbeat and blood pressure kept dropping, Jiang Yi closed her eyes, and she whispered, "Grandma, don't be afraid, it won't hurt soon." ”

"You'll be home in no time. Take you home one by one. She caressed her grandmother's weathered face, and tears fell silently.

The number of the instrument jù returns to zero, returning to the origin of a qiē.

A smooth straight line, no more twists and turns, this life is over.

Jiang Yi's hand was reluctant to let go, Zhao was behind her, her back was thin and stubborn.

She got up, kissed her grandmother's forehead, then wiped away her tears, turned to the nurse and said, "I'm sorry for you." ”

The white cloth was slowly covered to cover the faces of the loved ones. Jiang Yi took a step back and asked the nurse to take his grandmother away. Zhao Zheng held Jiang Yi, who couldn't straighten his waist, she turned around and buried her head in his shoulder, unwilling to look at it again.

didn't cry loudly, Jiang issued a death certificate, and the voice of contacting the funeral company was extremely calm. Only her reddish eyes and always trembling hands revealed the turmoil in her heart.

The cremation of the body is scheduled for next week, and Jiang Yi decided to keep it simple and not hold a funeral. First, she has no relatives and no reason, and second, she and her grandmother don't believe in that. My grandmother used to say that you should be good to others, work hard when you are alive, and show who you do when you die.

It was raining constantly, and the wipers were swinging back and forth rhythmically. The red light came on and the car came to a slow stop.

Jiang Yi suddenly spoke: "Zhao Zheng, can you sue me, my choice is correct." ”

Zhao Zheng stared at her and said slowly and firmly, "You made the right choice. ”

Jiang smiled, and she kept nodding: "Yes, I did the right thing." ”

Back at Zhao Zheng's apartment, Jiang Yi lost her soul, took off her shoes, walked to the sofa and sat down, and then the person lay down and curled up in a ball. Her courage was exhausted in that moment, and she suddenly had no backbone, as if her heart had been sucked away, and she was empty inside, and she didn't know what to do next...

Zhao was crouching down in front of her, combing the hair that was scattered across her face.

"Grandma is dead." She stared at him, her eyes flickering for two moments.

"You're having a hard time right now, and you feel like you've lost the most important thing in life." "But you'll be fine," he said. You will find the meaning of life again. ”

"Have you ever lost?" She asked.

His lips pursed into a line, and after a moment, he opened his mouth: "Lost." A lot. ”

"How can we accept loss and death?"

"Know the inevitability of loss and the inevitability of death. Allow yourself to be sad and negative. Then, standing, walking, alive. ”

Jiang Yi pressed his palm to his heart, and she felt a powerful and steady beat.

For the first time, she wanted to get this heart, the strong, loyal, and the heart with a story.