[Note: This chapter uses Yi Xia as the first person]

I was wearing the ring that Xihua had given me, and I felt like crying. Xihua is always like this, for fear that I will be treated unfairly. Even when it comes to marriage proposals, she wants the two of us to be fair and equal. Since I proposed to her, she will propose to me as well. Although I know that she must have wanted to do this a long time ago.

When I first got to her, I was scared too. I'm afraid that the love of two women will not be able to withstand the spell of time, and will be shattered in the torrent of years. I was afraid that we would be separated due to personality differences, or for one reason or another, but fortunately I met Xi Fei, she understood me, pitied me, loved me, and she was the best woman in the world to me except for my mother.

I think it was probably because God found out that he didn't treat me well enough before, so he gave me such a treasure to make up for my emotional shortcomings.

That day, instead of rushing home, the two of us sat on a bench under an old banyan tree, holding each other's hands. It was also on that day that Xi Fei mentioned for the first time the disaster that had befallen her ten years earlier.

Under the light of the street lamp, Xihua looked very lonely, and her long eyelashes were covered with a layer of white light, making her look like a snow girl in the mountains.

"I'm a murderer." I heard her say this to me. The tone was calm and scary.

"That day, I woke up and found myself in a completely unfamiliar space, and I knew that I had been kidnapped. The person who kidnapped me, I didn't know him, pulled me to a stool, and I saw the screen, along with my brother, ten people locked in the secret room. I didn't even have time to think about the cause and effect, and I heard him say to me, isn't it amazing that the lives of these ten people are tied to you at this moment?

He was like an out-of-control madman, laughing hysterically, yelling at me hysterically, looking like a poor wretched creature with poor donkey skills. I looked at my classmates who used to fight side by side with me on the screen, and at my brother with a calm face, and I felt so flustered and even at a loss for the first time.

In my ears was his endless complaints, accusations, and hatred for me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and said to me, I'm giving you a chance, a chance for all of you to live. If you succeed, eleven of you will be unscathed, and I will die. If you fail, we'll die together, how about it, that sounds pretty good, anyway, whether you win or lose, I'm going to die.

He looked like a wild horse on the loose, and no amount of anything I could do to calm him down. Finally, he clenched his fists, looked at me with bloodshot eyes, and played a game with me. Countdowns.

For five minutes, I had to press the button at the end of the five minutes to free them, and one second more or less would cause the bomb to explode. I didn't have any opportunity or right to question at all, and after I heard the beeping, I knew that the bomb had set off, and I had to spend those five minutes without distraction before we could leave unharmed. I don't know if I'm sweating, I'm shivering, until I count to two minutes and thirty-three seconds, and he suddenly said to me in my ear, "Look, Silver is waiting for you, he's waiting for you." I was completely distracted, I started to panic and tried to adjust from behind for the error that had been made. After that, he kept talking in my ear until I pressed the button. ”

"Jesse, get your wish."

So, and we, when we first see her, we have a negative impression of her, and we will superficially wonder why this woman is so annoying. But we don't know what a woman who can't laugh or cry has gone through in the years we can't see. We also don't know how she really feels when she uses sharp and mean words to hide her inner turmoil and create the illusion that she is living a happy life.

Even for me, I used to think that seeing my own brother die was already the most tragic thing in the world. Compared with what Xihua has experienced, it is just a small thing. Strong people are always more pitiful than weak people, the girl who loves to cry vents her feelings through tears, and the girl who doesn't love to cry can only bury it in her heart, plant a tumor, and watch it grow bigger and bigger.

She was always so strong that she would rather shed blood than tears.

How I want to cry for her, to shed all the tears that carry unpleasant memories, so as to pray that God will give me a Luci without demons. She is so good, always thinking about others, why should she be overloaded, surrounded by guilt, uncomfortable to be like this.

Why.

Resisting the urge to cry, I gave her a firm hug without saying a word. I know that maybe every word I say is a kind of pity in disguise in her eyes today. I don't deny it, I pity her, so pitiful that I can't wait to love her fiercely in this life, in the next life, and in every life to come.

"The worst thing is that after this incident, I don't even have the qualifications to express my sadness openly. Because I know very well in my heart that I am the one who started it. ”

For ten years, this woman has been living strong in ways that exceeded my imagination. If it were me, I would not be able to bear the fact that ten men and women in the prime of their youth would never see the morning sun again because of me. But the most sad thing is that people who have experienced the same accident together will always survive a thousand times more difficult than they die. For them, no, it should be said that for us, in the eyes of others, every ordinary day we live is actually an atonement.

We who live humbly in guilt seem to be arrogant and arrogant, and do not eat the fireworks of the world, but this undoubtedly highlights the cowardice hidden in our hearts. Because I was too scared, too scared, too desperate, and in the end I could only arm myself in this way. A man is immersed in a hell from which he will never be able to escape.

"As long as I live the rest of my life badly, they may be able to close their eyes with peace of mind under the Nine Springs. I used to think like that. ”

Jesse can't be described as a femme fatale alone, because of his jealousy and the dark side of his spirit, he completely ruined a girl who would have lived a happy and even happy life.

He really did what he wanted to do, and he did it.

If, at that time, he had exhausted all means to make it impossible for Xi Fei to succeed in rescuing the trapped man, he would have been given great psychological satisfaction and said to himself, look, I am still the greatest genius. Xi Fei's failure will give him a sense of relief, and seeing her is like seeing himself back then. Even if he died, he no longer had any regrets. But his poison lies in the fact that although he could not escape death, he still tortured Xi Fei in another way.

Tie the lives of ten people, including Brother Xifei, to Xifei alone, I can't imagine what she looks like at the moment when Xifei presses the button and the fire breaks out, will she cry.

It was obviously his sin, but he asked Xi Fei to bear all the consequences for him, and he lived in guilt for the rest of his life.

Jesse, you're amazing. You ruined my woman.

I looked at her pretending to be a strong side face, I knew that she was afraid that I would be worried, so she used this kind of calm and breezy expression to perfunctory me, but I didn't know, I had planned thousands of ways to retaliate against Jesse in my heart, I thought I could go to hell and torture him with Manchu torture, □□ him, make him cry and shout that he was wrong, I thought that time could be reversed, so that I could kill Jesse before he knew about Xixi's existence.

But I can't do anything.

"I've always tried to make myself unhappy as much as possible. But your appearance makes me happy every day. She hugged me, I felt her trembling, and my heart was like a knife, "Yi Xia, I want to grow old with you." But I didn't dare. ”

I suddenly thought of the fact that my brother had passed away, and my heart felt like something was clamping up, and I couldn't breathe in pain. Except for the girl named and Lu Shuye, the death of the other eight people is enough for Xi Fei to suffer for a lifetime, but what if Lu Shuye is counted? I can't even imagine the scene where Xi Fei knew that Lu Shuye had already left in that accident. I think it must have been a deeper despair than the frustration in my heart when Yi Hui left.

But can we, outsiders, really hide it from her for the rest of our lives?

Thinking of this, I finally burst into tears.

I don't know how to describe the feeling in my heart, it is a deep helplessness about reality, my powerlessness to change what has become an established fact, and my distress for Xifei. Ten years ago, she was less than twenty years old, and for ordinary girls, it was still a good age to enjoy the love of her parents and enjoy the beautiful campus life, but my Xihua was already struggling with pain every minute at that age.

"It's okay." I knew that this was the time when I should give her strength, and I wept silently without letting her notice, and I hugged her tightly, my mind in a mess.

"If you don't dare to grow old with me, just replace me with you. You didn't want to hug me, I wanted to hug you. You don't want to be happy, it's me who forces you to be happy. ”

"It's all me."

It would be great if it was really all me.