Liang Ju was bored in the morning, so he dragged Mao Dong to go to the vegetable market with her to buy vegetables.

The two of them walked in the early winter morning with direct sunlight, although the breath exhaled was white, but the hands held together were warm to each other.

There was an old man on the corner of the street who was selling sugar gourds with a bicycle, and Liang Ju was greedy, holding Mao Dong's arm and begging him to buy one for her.

"Is one enough, why don't you buy two?" Mao Dong asked with a smile.

He came out today wearing the new coat she bought for him a few days ago, a dark green Korean coat with a gray scarf, which made Mao Dong look even more handsome and blinded Liang Ju's eyes.

Liang Ju smiled like an idiot and put his little hand into Mao Dong's coat, "One is enough, buy two and we'll eat together." ”

The trail to the morning market is full of elderly aunts and uncles, and occasionally I can see a few young people, too, who doesn't want to stay in the bed for a while on such a cold day and a big weekend.

Mao Dong grabbed Liang Ju's hand that was touching everywhere, held it tightly in his palm, and dragged her to buy sugar gourds, "Go home after buying!" ”

"Home? I haven't bought the food yet! Liang Ju followed his steps.

"You dare to put your hand in your clothes on the street, why don't I take you home quickly?"

"You" Mao Dong has been with Liang Ju for a long time, and he also knows how to treat this little girl.

After buying sugar gourds and going to buy vegetables, Liang Ju and Mao Dong took their little hands and walked home, talking and laughing.

As soon as he crossed the street, Liang Ju saw a familiar figure sitting next to the flower bed downstairs with a heavy face.

"A-Yuan? Why didn't you call me when you came. ”

When he got closer, Mao Dong also looked at Ah Yuan with a surprised expression.

Ah Yuan raised his head, his face covered with stubble.

"Brother." He shouted Mao Dong, his voice hoarse.

"Something's wrong?" Mao Dong's brows tightened.

Ah Yuan glanced at Liang Ju and was a little difficult to speak.

Liang Ju took the initiative to say: "It's too cold outside, I'll go up first, you two can talk." ”

"Liang Ju!" Ah Yuan took the initiative to call out after Liang Ju passed by.

Mao Dong also looked at Ah Yuan a little inexplicably.

"Liang Ju, can you let my brother go and see Sister Ling?"

Zhong Ling?!

Liang Ju and Mao Dong were surprised.

"What's wrong with Zhong Ling?" Mao Dong hurriedly asked.

"The doctor said she had depression."

"Depression?"

"Depression!"

Zhong Ling and Mao Dong said in unison.

***

Zhong Ling did not go to the hospital, but recuperated at home.

She was resting in bed when Mao Dong and Liang Ju went, and although she was already asleep, the deep sorrow between her eyebrows was still obvious.

"The doctor said she had been sick for a long time, and none of us knew about it." Ah Yuan stood behind Mao Dong and said.

"How did this happen?" Liang Ju asked.

"How did this happen?" Ah Yuan repeated her words, which sounded funny.

Ah Yuan's eyes looking at Mao Dong made Liang Ju regret asking what he just said. Why does Zhong Ling suffer from depression? Naturally, it's because of love.

"Won't she be repulsed when she wakes up and sees us?" Liang Ju asked Ah Yuan.

A-Yuan shook his head, "I don't know who to go to except you." ”

Mao Dong stood there without saying a word from beginning to end, his eyes had never moved away since he saw Zhong Ling's appearance, and Liang Ju knew that he was deeply blaming himself again.

I can't hurt and don't want to hurt, but in the end, I still hurt her.

"You guys go first, I'll stay here." Liang Ju said.

"Nope." Mao Dong turned his head.

A-Yuan looked at Mao Dong questioningly, but Mao Dong looked at Liang Ju, "I'll stay." ”

Liang Ju said: "You are not suitable, the last thing you should stay here is you." ”

Liang Ju handed the bag in his hand to Mao Dong and said, "You men don't understand a woman's heart." ”

She turned to look at A-Yuan, "Do you believe me, if you don't worry, let me stay here and talk to her." ”

Ah Yuan looked at Mao Dong, but Mao Dong stared at Liang Ju unpleasantly.

Liang Ju knew what Mao Dong was thinking, he was afraid that Zhong Ling would hurt her if she was not controlled, and he was also afraid that what Zhong Ling said would make her waver.

Liang Ju stepped forward and held Mao Dong's hand, and the two of them shook their fingers.

She smiled and nodded at him, and in his frowning eyes he saw that he thanked her for her understanding and understanding.

―――

Zhong Ling woke up in the afternoon, and when she slowly opened her eyes, she smelled the smell of rice.

After getting off the bed, Zhong Ling pushed open the bedroom door and saw Liang Ju wearing an apron serving food to the dining table, his hair pinned to his head with a clip at will, looking very homely.

"Why are you here?" Zhong Ling asked in surprise.

"You're awake, come and eat, often my craft."

Zhong Ling actually didn't have much affection for Liang Ju, but she didn't have any hostility, she saw her playful smile, and obediently went to wash her hands.

Zhong Ling didn't say much when she ate, and she didn't eat much, and Liang Ju told her some interesting things about her cooking just now while eating.

In the end, Zhong Ling finally couldn't help it, put down the bowl, stared at Liang Ju and asked, "Why are you here?" ”

"A-Yuan called me."

Zhong Ling frowned, and Liang Ju hurriedly said: "A-Yuan has something to leave, she is afraid that you will be bored, so let me accompany you." ”

Regarding Liang Ju's words, Zhong Ling seemed skeptical.

After eating, Liang Ju did not immediately clean up the dishes and chopsticks.

"I made the rice, you should always wash the dishes and chopsticks, right?" She took off her apron, rubbed her neck and fell directly to the sofa, and put Zhong Ling's pillow behind her back.

Seeing her so leisurely appearance surprised Zhong Ling.

She didn't say anything more, and went to clean up the dishes and chopsticks in the kitchen.

Zhong Ling was washing dishes in the kitchen, and Liang Ju bit an apple and came to her, "You said that you live here alone, and you usually don't even have anyone to talk to, or you can have a pet, and it can relieve your boredom." ”

"I don't like pets." Zhong Ling said silently.

Her coldness made Liang Ju more enthusiastic, "Let me tell you, having a pet is really not to let you not know the fun of it, just take my cousin's teddy, it's so cute!" Otherwise, I'll hold it for you for two days, and you can feel it? ”

"No, I'm allergic to hair."

"Oh, that's it."

Just when Liang Ju was still thinking about what else to find to relieve Zhong Ling's boredom, Zhong Ling had already finished washing the dishes and walked out of the kitchen alone.

Liang Ju was not annoyed by Zhong Ling's coldness, and followed her while eating apples.

Liang Ju remembered that when he came to Zhong Ling's house drunk, he still saw a lot of photos on the cabinet in the living room, but when he looked at it now, only the photo frame remained.

Zhong Ling sat on the sofa and obviously disliked Liang Ju's anti-customer-oriented behavior.

"I don't feel bored here." She tactfully wanted Liang Ju to go.

"You're not bored, aren't you?" Liang Ju stood in front of the cabinet and threw the apple beard into the trash can at the kitchen door, and the apple beard drew a perfect arc in the air.

Liang Ju clapped his hands and continued: "You don't feel bored, I feel bored, Mao Dong is not at home anyway, I might as well play here for a while." ”

She noticed that when she mentioned the word Mao Dong, Zhong Ling's face reacted obviously.

Liang Ju sat next to Zhong Ling, "By the way, I still don't know how you all met?" ”

Seeing that Zhong Ling didn't answer, Liang Ju pushed her with his arm, "Sister Ling, sue sù sù me." ”

"Are you finished?" It would be impossible for Zhong Ling to say such a thing to someone in the past.

"If you tell me, I'll know, I know, and naturally I won't bother you." Liang Ju replied confidently.

"I knew you from school." Zhong Ling replied succinctly.

"Studying? University? ”

I thought that Zhong Ling would fight this question very quickly, however, her originally indifferent expression gradually eased a lot, and her eyes were gentle.

Zhong Ling shook her head and said softly, "It's in high school." ”

Her voice was cautious, her eyes were warm, as if she was really recalling Liang Ju's problem.

When did she and him meet?

That's really a distant thing

――――

Zhong Ling, a child born in a scholarly family since she was a child, her parents are engaged in the education industry, she is the only daughter in the family, she has been instilled with a lot of conservative ideas of keeping her duty and learning to take the right path since she was a child, and her life has been dull and boring.

Before the college entrance examination, Zhong Ling couldn't study normally because of too much pressure, and saw that some classmates in the class often went to various places to play, she felt curious, so she followed everyone out of the bar for the first time to KTV at the instigation of her classmates. There, Zhong Ling found that life was so beautiful except for reading.

Because of her greed for fun, Zhong Ling's studies began to decline, and she also learned to smoke and drink, but in the end, because she was simple and knew how to measure, she didn't indulge too much.

A few days before the exam, she had exam syndrome, she couldn't read a word of the book, and she had to drink every day to maintain a strong inner breakdown, so while her parents were not at home, Zhong Ling went to the bar again.

Zhong Ling went to the bar alone, she hid in the corner and drank wine, and it was also that time that she met Mao Dong.

Mao Dong is also a person, sitting in the corner like her, looking lonely and lonely. At school, I often heard my classmates talk about men and women, and I even listened to her tell women about the 'first night' under the introduction of her tablemates. Because of curiosity, the idea of inquiry, and the rebellion that boldly broke through the shackles in his heart, Zhong Ling took the wine glass and went to Mao Dong's table jerkyly.

It can be said that Mao Dong's indifferent appearance attracted Zhong Ling's deep love that was breaking through the dust and sprouting.

Although she was coldly rejected by Mao Dong in the end, Zhong Ling still had a strong stimulus.

Liang Ju sat beside Zhong Ling in the sunshine and listened to her tell her story about her and him.

On the gold-sprinkled floor full of afternoon sunshine, Liang Ju saw the ups and downs flying in the light, they were like the shadows of time, and the stories told by Zhong Ling were replayed succinctly.

Liang Ju seemed to see Zhong Ling who was in the rebellious period, and saw Zhong Ling who was in love for the first time in his life with a wine glass.

"So, you fell in love with him at first sight?" She asked.

Zhong Ling sat on the sofa with her arms and legs crossed, she looked sideways at the window, half of her side face was so gentle that people didn't dare to touch it lightly, just afraid that if she touched it, this rare warm appearance would disappear.

"Yes, I should have fallen in love with him at first sight."

It was love at first sight, and then it gradually evolved into inextricability.

I don't know if it's the arrangement of fate, but later Zhong Ling was admitted to the same university as Mao Dong, and on the first day of registration, she walked behind a group of freshmen with her suitcase, and he broke into her sight again without any warning.

Unlike him who was indifferent in the bar that night, he was so shining in the sun.

He, like a warm daylight, made Zhong Ling unable to open his eyes.

Zhong Ling has always hidden this matter in her heart and never revealed it to anyone, she is very timid about her feelings, she does not dare to confess lightly, she is afraid that once she is rejected, she will no longer have any contact with Mao Dong, and she will not even be able to do it with her classmates.

Later, at school, Zhong Ling heard that someone confessed to Mao Dong, and Zhong Ling's heart was also nervous. She was afraid that he would agree.

However, after learning that the person was categorically refused, Zhong Ling was even more worried that it would end like that if she were replaced, she decided to completely hide the little secret in her heart and seal it up.

A crush is a beautiful thing, no one botheres about it. She can sit quietly at the back of the classroom and quietly watch his every move, or carefully follow him when no one is paying attention, and go with him to every corner of the school.

Zhong Ling thought, at least, they have been seen in every part of the school.

In his junior year, Mao Dong started a small business privately because he always wanted to go outside, and there were fewer opportunities to appear in school, which indirectly caused Zhong Ling to see him less and less, and the only opportunity to meet could only be in class.

She could only secretly sit in the back row of the classroom and glance at him from afar, and then as soon as the bell rang for the end of class, she saw his back rushing out of the classroom in a hurry. She didn't have time to chase it, in fact, she didn't dare to chase it.

In order to find out more about Mao Dong, Zhong Ling even began to track Mao Dong, and was almost discovered by Mao Dong a few times. Later, I heard from my classmates that Mao Dong also had an elder brother named Mao Bei, who opened a small restaurant on a street on the east side of the school. Because she wanted to see Mao Dong more, Zhong Ling often went to Mao Beikai's restaurants to eat, and gradually, she became familiar with Mao Bei.

At that time, Zhong Ling had never been in love once, and she naively thought that if she could have a good relationship with Mao Bei, she would naturally be able to get close to Mao Dong.

Because I wanted to know more about Mao Dong, I inquired about Mao Bei through the intention of my classmates, and learned that Mao Bei Restaurant needed help with manpower, so I went over to help with chores whenever I had time, in order to hope to see Mao Dong a few more times, hoping to have the opportunity to have more contact with him.

She loves so carefully, chatting with her inner little secret every day by relying on the mood log in her diary.

However, God actually secretly played a little joke with her.

Mao Dong didn't come to the restaurant too often, more often, it was Zhong Ling who had contact with Mao Bei alone.

Later, when she learned Mao Bei's intentions, Zhong Ling struggled for a long time in her heart.

Zhong Ling knew that if she refused Mao Bei, then she would never be able to come to the restaurant to see Mao Dong again, so

She did the one thing she regretted most in her life.

Zhong Ling agreed to Mao Bei and agreed to Mao Bei's love to be with him.

Zhong Ling thought that although she couldn't be with Mao Dong, if she was with Mao Bei, then she would have more opportunities to contact Mao Dong in the future, and the reason would become justified.

Naive, she didn't think too much about it at all, and when her feelings for Mao Dong deepened day by day, she only hoped to see him every day, even if she couldn't become a lover with him.

hid her crush in her heart, and it wasn't until Mao Bei proposed that she wanted to get married that she woke up like a dream.

It turned out that inadvertently, she had hurt a man who was both honest and good to herself.

On the one hand, Mao Bei's marriage proposal, and on the other hand, Mao Dong's already deep feelings, Zhong Ling became heartbroken.

The choice has become a huge wound that is deepening and deteriorating day by day, and finally, after some thought, in order not to make Mao Bei sad, and in order to maintain the relationship with Mao Dong, Zhong Ling chose to agree to Mao Bei's marriage, which will be registered in the second year after graduation.

Zhong Ling looked at the blue sky and white clouds outside the window, thinking of these things, and her heart began to shrink by inertia.

She didn't tell Liang Ju what she was thinking about in her heart, she still had to bear it alone and face it alone.

In the year of the accident, Mao Dong got into trouble and fled to Harbin, she couldn't help crying, and she didn't know when they would meet again next time.

Zhong Ling secretly went to the train station to bid farewell to Mao Dong with Mao Bei on her back, and met Ah Yuan at the train station, and Ah Yuan had an insight into her thoughts about Mao Dong, however, she still didn't have the courage to admit it.

For countless nights in the future, when she couldn't sleep, Zhong Ling often thought that if she didn't go to see Mao Dong off that day, but stayed in the restaurant and continued to help Mao Bei, would Mao Bei not die, or at least there was still her by his side when he had an accident.

Zhong Ling watched the news on the way to the restaurant the next day and learned that Mao Bei had an accident, and at that time, her brain was blank and her limbs were weak.

After Mao Bei's death, Zhong Ling fell into huge guilt and self-blame, and on the day of her burial, she saw Mao Dong who rushed back from the dust in the cemetery, and at that moment, she heard the sound of revival in her heart.

"I'm sorry Mao Bei, please forgive me." She could only say it to herself in her heart.

Zhong Ling thought that this was an opportunity given to her by God, so she kept taking advantage of Mao Dong's guilt towards herself, and she has been living with Mao Dong's help.

Mao Dong never gave up on her, even if she knew that this qiē originated from Mao Bei, but she still deceived herself and enjoyed this hard-won return, and on the other hand, she apologized to Mao Bei in her heart every day, Mao Bei became a thorn in her heart, she didn't dare to touch it, let alone pull it out.

Because of the discussion from the outside world, she didn't dare to confess to Mao Dong lightly, if she confessed frankly at this time, it would undoubtedly be equivalent to cutting off her future dealings with Mao Dong.

She didn't dare.

It wasn't until Liang Ju appeared that she actually discovered that her silent protection and waiting were actually equivalent to a little bit of killing all their love.

The title of 'sister-in-law' was the only connection and bridge she could have with him, but in the end, it became the biggest obstacle to her running to him.

You can't live for your own sins, you deserve it, all these words are to describe Zhong Ling's own, until the end Mao Dong and Liang Ju came together, looking back at the past ten years, she finally lost to herself.

Zhong Ling thought that she envied Liang Ju, envied that she could distinguish between love and hate, and envied that she could live so chicly, and did not hesitate to turn against her family for the sake of her feelings.

Because she lost Mao Bei and couldn't be with Mao Dong anymore, she put all her energy on Beixing.

To commemorate the North Star, do not forget Mao Bei, for salvation.

Mao Dong gave her Beixing, in fact, he always reminded her not to forget his eldest brother, how could she not know this.

Seeing Mao Dong and Liang Ju's happy little life, she decided to put this relationship in her heart and never swerving.

Mao Dong had an accident in his business, she gave up North Star and sold the money to pay off his debts, but was refused. Later, when business was sluggish, Beixing was sold again, and Mao Dong used the money he saved to buy it back for her.

A-Yuan beside her has always been attentive to her, and she is not a fool, she can see it, but she doesn't make it clear because she is afraid of being hurt. has hurt Mao Bei, she no longer dares to hurt anyone, she is a coward, she can even be said to be a coward, to feelings, to Mao Dong, to Mao Bei.

It was also because of this that she began to loathe herself, the cowardly self. So, she began to fall in love with the feeling of self-harm.

For some reason, Zhong Ling would take out half of the secret that had been hidden for nearly ten years and tell Liang Ju.

At that time, Liang Ju would not have known that such a woman who was as timid as a mouse in her feelings made a bold sacrifice in the face of Mao Bei's murderer.

Regarding Mao Bei's revenge, if it is said that a person's life must be paid for revenge, then there may be more than one person.

In addition to Mao Dong, it is her, Zhong Ling.