Su Qingjia walked out of La Masia.

She knew about low-risk depression, and she wrote several columns about it.

There is always a fine line between genius and madness, and such patients usually have superhuman intelligence, and their ability to grasp and accept external things is extremely high. For ordinary people, after knowing something, if they don't touch it for a long time, they will quickly forget about it, but for people with low-risk depression, they will constantly repeat the characteristics of this thing in their minds, and repeatedly think about other possibilities.

They are very closed inside, their contradictions are intensifying, and they are extremely self-centered.

The odds of getting this disease are rarer than winning the lottery, genetics, and the environment have a certain impact, and what is more dangerous is that improper treatment of low-risk depression will lead to a series of mental illnesses such as autism and multiple personality complex thinking disorders.

She was a little powerless, and when she was reborn, she was the first time she was so powerless about one thing. It seems that all the hard work is not rewarded, all the hard work is not exchanged for results, and all the smiles are not asked.

Su Qingjia stood on the bus platform and quietly watched the people come and go.

Now she doesn't know where to go, which train to get on, where to get off.

She didn't know what she could do for the gentle boy who used to be smiling with a bouquet of flowers on the street.

She didn't know what she could do for the attentive boy who had braved the pouring rain to give her gifts.

She didn't know what she could do for the stubborn boy who had worked hard to train and longed to run on the green field.

She remembered reading a book before, in which it was written: We all aspire to become the Monkey King who pulls the wind, and later we all become the Monkey King who learns from the scriptures. We all aspire to be heroes in troubled times, and then we all become bears waiting for rescue, we always talk about the future, and then the word becomes the past.

Life always gives you a painful blow and a blow to kill you when you are not expecting it.

Su Qingjia wanted to help this lonely boy, he was like a planet, living so far away light years, using all the light and heat to raise a rose.

Such a hardworking and warm boy, his future should not have been abandoned to the wilderness early, he should have shiny and shining. He deserves to be isolated by everyone, he deserves all the good things.

Su Qingjia wiped her tears, she was going to find him, she was going to help him, if she gave up Carlos, then he really had nothing.

She turned around and ran back to La Masia.

Rexage poured a glass of water for the mature little girl, "You're for Carlos, I think, Bella should know about his illness." ”

"Yes, Director, sorry to bother you. I've heard that La Masia is going to stop Carlos' cultivation, right? ”

"Yes and no." Lexage pulled the stool over, "Bella, I'm so grateful for the genius you've unearthed for La Masia, and I understand your feelings. ”

Seeing Su Qingjia's solemn face, Lexage continued: "It is true that in Carlos we see the light of the future, but he has a flaw after all. ”

"Isn't his light enough to cover up the flaws?" Su Qingjia asked rhetorically.

Lexage tapped on the coffee table, "You're right, his light is enough to cover up these flaws." Bella, we have suspended his training, not permanently, this game is just a □□, we have been consciously guiding his psychological problems, these are all under the guidance of professional psychologists, but now he has reached a zero point, we can only let him calm down temporarily. ”

Su Qingjia frowned: "Then what if he can't calm down?" What will happen to you? ”

Lexage crossed his hands and placed them on his lap, "We'll have a psychiatrist for treatment, you know, it's rare and there's a limited way to treat it." His talent does not allow us to bury his football career, Bella, he will shine at Barca. ”

Su Qingjia closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said, "Will his treatment be carried out in secret?" ”

"His mental illness is still a secret, but low-risk depression is difficult to grasp, and we have not found an effective cure for more than a year, and if necessary, we can only open up for treatment for more help. Many teams will be interested in this condition. Lexage said.

"Mr. Director! Are you using Carlos like a guinea pig? Have you ever thought about it, it will become a stain on him, and once he enters the media eye, it will become a weapon to destroy him. In the age of the media flood, every flaw has the potential to be infinitely magnified, and she doesn't know what impact it will have on Carlos.

Lexage waved his hand and sighed, "On this path, everyone is destined to lose something. We've made a big bet on him. Bella, we have to see the payoff. ”

*

Carlos sat on a seat in Columbus Square, the tall plane trees casting mottled shadows, and the salty sea breeze accompanied by the horn of the sail carried away the laden cargo ship. After all these years, the deep-water port ships have come and gone, only the "Lania" is still moored here, and the bronze hero will never be able to raise its sails.

Carlos looked out at the sea every day from the bench closest to the port, from where seagulls would take off in the morning, and in the evening, when the figure of the setting sun dyed the sea a leaping orange, he watched, the sun changing colors and shades above his head.

After the last match, he was disqualified from being transferred to the Under-14s, the coaches had stopped training on him, and after several laps around the pitch, he forced himself to accept the fact that he was the one who was left behind.

Before he actually goes to the battlefield, a fighter is already disqualified from fighting.

Carlos thought that his qiē was also shattered as if it were the elite of the national team who was training together, and the difference was only a matter of time.

After Coach Benajes' face-to-face punishment ended, he ran to Columbus Square alone in a yellow team jersey. Night has fallen, and the revelry in the square has resumed.

Bella told him that Columbus had wandered to Spain and had failed three times before finding the New World, and that she believed he would succeed.

And he let her down.

Following Columbus's finger, Carlos looked for a long, long time—the sea was as calm as ever, but he could not see the outline of hope at all.

Carlos picked up a piece of gravel and threw it into the sea, the white spray quickly masking the ripples caused by the stone.

"Carlos, do you think you're amazing? In a match like this, you will only show yourself, do you think you can win the Hercules Cup for Spain on your own in the future? ”

"If I had to choose, I'd rather unite ten people than you, a lone ranger, you're just a grain of rat."

"I don't want a football philosophy to go it alone, Carlos, your problem is too big, you may not be suitable for football."

"You may not be fit for a football ......"

"You may not be fit for a football ......"

Coach Benajes' words left Carlos desperate, and he didn't know what he was going to do this time.

Carlos picked at his blonde hair, which had not been washed for several days, he did not dare to go to see Bella, he was afraid to see Bella's disappointed eyes.

*

Su Qingjia searched all over Las Ramblas, and before the sun set, she found the blonde boy on the left side of the statue of Columbus that had worried her for days.

He sat in his chair, the afterglow of the plane trees falling to the ground, and the afterglow dyeing the sea with a rose-like magnificence, as if it were the final curtain call.

His loneliness comes from the bottom of his heart.

Su Qingjia thought, she suddenly didn't dare to approach Carlos, he was like a tree, rotting from the roots.

In this wonderful country where people come and go and are full of enthusiasm, he always seems to be alone, without relatives and partners, he only has himself.

In his inner world, there is an endless sea, and he is lonely on the island in the middle to watch the sunrise and sunset, the ebb and flow.

He could hardly see hope, and it was still the sea farther than the sea.

Su Qingjia watched Carlos' blonde hair dyed rouge, and she wrapped her knees around her knees and buried her head deep in it.

She thought that she could not help him, that his heart was so lonely that she could not become the savior of Moses, leading him out of Egypt, paddling the waves of the Red Sea, and bringing olive leaves for him.

The stars rose from the sea, and Carlos stood up silently, looked up at the bronze statue for a moment, and then left the place.

Su Qingjia didn't call him, she watched him walk through the lively bars, bookstores, flower rooms, and finally back to La Masia.

She saw his eyes from afar, gray and a little desperate.

*

In the next two weeks, Carlos continued to be in this state, leaving early and returning late, La Masia became his base for night boarding, the youngsters gradually forgot about his storage, and the coaches were saddened, and after a long time, they didn't care.

Only the pothos next to Carlos's bed was still waiting for him to wipe it day and night.

Carlos didn't want the pothos leaves to stick to dust. He wished he could wake up and see its jasper color—Bella's first birthday present.

Oleg brought him another rainbow lollipop, but he didn't eat it, and put it in the corner with the yellow team uniform.

He traveled half the city, all the way to Columbus Square, with fresh and delicious bread and milk on the benches, a plate of apples and strawberries that had been washed long ago, and a large bottle of water—enough for him to eat for a day.

It was prepared for him by Bella, and Carlos knew that food would be placed here every day since Thursday, two weeks ago.

He picked up the kettle and took down the sticky note attached to it: "Carlos, I look forward to you running on the green field." ”

Carlos looked at it three times, then put the note in his breast pocket, which was the 15th, and it was green.

After thinking about it, Carlos took out the other sticky notes in his pocket, there were many colors, each one was precious to him, and he looked through them carefully and slowly.

He hadn't seen Bella for more than half a month.

He misses her so much.

Carlos picked up a strawberry, the red juice was sweet, and the Mediterranean sun gave it room to grow.

Carlos wondered if he should work hard and try to get back on the pitch and run.

He didn't know the answer.