It was late at night when I came out of the noisy office, and the snow was falling outside, and my mood was like this snowflake flying in the dim light, chaotic and confused.

|For every two people who watch romance, there is an account that has registered for Co ° Le ° Xiao ° Say ° Net.

I went back to the Lido and stood under the faucet and rinsed myself, trying to wash away the shadow of him in my heart and the smell of another man.

The warm hot water ran through my body, and I felt so dirty, the water couldn't wash the dirt off my body at all.

I felt that Li Cheng was scolding me, and Zhang Zhiqiang was also despising me, I smashed the wall with my hand, but I couldn't vent the anger in my heart, so I could only let the tears and hot water flow together.

I couldn't sleep even if I was tired, sitting in the dark living room wrapped in a bath towel, I didn't know how I was so indulgent how I could have fallen to this point, he disappeared so simply and completely that my heart seemed to have fallen into a deep pit in the dark, and I kept sliding down, I don't know where the bottom of the pit was.

I don't know what else awaits me at the bottom of the pit.

Wu Tianyang's negative heart just made me feel remorse for the past efforts for him, but I have never despised myself, no matter how painful my heart is, I grit my teeth and persevere, because I still have a future, I firmly believe that nothing can defeat me, Wu Tianyang can't, I will find someone who loves me more, I must find someone who truly loves me.

And his departure made me full of despair about the future, he left me a house, he left me money, but also emotionally left a standard that no one will be able to meet in the future.

I can't hate him or blame him, and even to this day I still try my best to capture in my heart the pity and tenderness and the gentle affection he left me.

I know that I will never meet such a person again in my later life, I will not find such a feeling, and that loneliness that will continue until the end of my life makes me despair of the long future.

Looking around, the furnishings in the house were only visible in the light of the street lamps, and I remember how sad I felt when I realized that he had deleted my photos and realized that he was leaving, but how the sadness at that time could be compared to the despair of today.

There was darkness and silence all around, only the fruit knife on the coffee table reflected the white light of Sensen, I reached out and picked up the fruit and flipped it gently in my hand, the knife light flashed and went out in the dark, as if it was gently slashing in my heart and made me have a desire for pain.

I slashed lightly on my left wrist with a knife, and a heart-piercing pain made my heart, which was already tangled, suddenly relax, and there was hot blood flowing out slowly, and the pain slowly weakened when the blood flowed out.

I slashed again, I could feel the warmth of the blood running through my skin, I could hear the sound of blood dripping on the floor, my tears falling with me, I lay on the couch, closed my eyes and relaxed my body, all my consciousness was on my arm, I felt that my heart had never been so relaxed.

I know that there are no endless tears and no endless blood in this world.

The cut on my wrist only hurt the skin and not the artery, and I didn't really want to give up, I just wanted to make it easy for myself.

The wound slowly scabbed over, leaving two shallow scars, and I went to the Great Buddha Temple alone and asked for a string of thin Buddha beads to wrap around my wrist.

Standing in front of the huge golden body of the Buddha, I closed my eyes with my hands together and prayed, I begged the Buddha to let this qiē pass quickly, even if I did something wrong, the punishment of this year should be enough.

During the Spring Festival, Pan Yue called me and asked if I was in Northwest City, and I said yes.

He asked me to go with him to pay New Year's greetings to Mr. Jin, and he told Mr. Jin that I wanted to meet him, and Mr. Jin was at home today for us to come over.

I asked him to come to the hotel to pick me up, and I said that I couldn't drive in Northwest City, and I got lost when I got on the overpass.

He giggled and asked me to wait for him in front of the hotel, and when I got into the car, I saw him turn his head and stare at me carefully, I glanced at him while fastening his seat belt and said, "Why do you look at me like that, don't you know?" ”

"Do I think you're pretty again?"

He grinned.

"You can only find more and more wrinkles on my face, and it won't be beautiful anymore!"

I glanced at him and smiled.

Pan Yue smiled and said, "Where are the wrinkles?" Sister Lin is still a big beauty."

。

I smiled and said, "What do you want to tell me about feeding sugar in my mouth so kindly?" It's still the New Year."

。

Pan Yue smiled: "I'm really not complimenting you, I'm telling the truth, I really think that you are not simply beautiful but very beautiful, and your beauty has a kind of heroism that other women don't have."

。

I turned my head to look at him with an inquiring look, then turned back to look ahead: "Heroic? Haven't you ever seen a beautiful cop? Go for more! A few women who came out of the police barracks were not heroic, and they used these words to fool me, pediatrics! ”

。

Pan Yue smiled and was silent for a while, and said lightly: "Huo Guangming chased the 'Martian Princess', and the two of them traveled to Europe during the Spring Festival."

。

I breathed a long sigh of relief in my heart, leaned back in the back of the seat to relax myself, looked out the window and said, "Don't mention this to anyone in the future, and don't talk about this person in front of me again, just act as if nothing happened, this is a mistake I made, and there will never be such a thing again"

。

Pan Yue turned his face to look at me, and said in a relaxed tone: "I know, Sister Lin, don't worry too much, he is also a passerby, he and you are not all the way at all"

。

When you hear "passerby"

When these two words were written, my heart was stabbed again, how could Huo Guangming be compared to him, I immediately sank my face and said coldly: "He is not a 'passerby', he is only a mistake for me, and the 'passerby' in my life is not him"

。

As soon as these words came out, I felt that my nose was a little sore, and tears instantly filled my eyes, Pan Yue was shocked by the tone of my speech, turned his face to look at me in surprise, I turned my face to the right-hand window, opened my eyes wide, and tried not to let the tears flow out of my eyes.

"Is your 'passerby' the one who watched the sunset with you?"

Pan Yue was silent for a while and asked.

I sat silently and did not answer.

The person who watched the sunset with me also disappeared from my life like the sunset that day.

But I couldn't say this to Pan Yue, so I could only be silent, but the tears couldn't stop flowing.

When Pan Yue came out of Jin's hometown and sent me to the front of the hotel, he looked at me sideways and said, "Did today's visit not achieve your expected purpose?" ”

I smiled and said, "No, I myself feel that this case may only be tried by this Cheng Dù, but I am not very willing, I can't let go in my heart, I came to visit Jin Lao I and want him to point out to me the specific work method, I just want to hear his thoughts on this situation as an expert." In fact, I am very grateful to him, he did not put pressure on me from above, but calmly and objectively analyzed the situation we are facing now, listening to his words I feel that I can be relieved a lot, Jin Lao is right: the woman named Jiang Nan She has already confessed her guilt, she has already sentenced herself to death, and she feels guilty too much to atone for herself, she wants to die for relief, and bring the invisible things she did to the grave. With her mentality, even if we can't catch her, she may not be at ease in the days to come, and sometimes people do wrong things just by a thought. Punishment is not just a form of legal punishment, and do not think that those who have escaped the punishment of the law will be able to escape punishment for their own mistakes. Jin Lao said that how can there be no regrets after being a policeman for a lifetime, we are not gods, nor are we acting, and we can exhaust all the evils in the world and investigate them. All we can do is do our best to do what we can and not get too caught up in it. It's not that I haven't thought about what Jin Lao said, but to put it bluntly, I just don't have confidence in myself, I need more powerful people to prove that what I have done is not worthless, and the unsatisfactory ending of the case is not that we have not exhausted our efforts, I want to seek peace of mind when I go on this trip, I got it"

。

Pan Yue nodded and was silent for a while and said: "Sister Lin, I think it feels good to be friends with you, very real, and very detached, there are not too many impurities, it is rare to have a friend like you, don't you get involved with me because of other people's affairs, keep in touch often, okay?" ”

I pursed my lips and smiled: "I'm not so petty, even if I don't keep in touch with you often, I still see you as a friend, I believe that in the future, whenever and in any way we meet, it will feel like today."

。

Time slipped away before I knew it, and I hadn't heard from him since he left, and I began to question my relationship, and when I felt the pain, I didn't want to reminisce about it.

Now I keep asking myself if I made the wrong decision, how I can be redeemed, how I can truly be freed from my emotional prison.

I often wander alone in the car in nature, sitting quietly in the car in the open and uninhabited place to capture the memories of our time together.

Walking to the place where we once left a pair of snowmen, there is still endless snow under the blue sky.

I lay on the snow and looked up at the sky, even if the winter sun didn't feel its warmth, it was still so beautiful and it still shone on everything.

Even though the earth covered with snow beneath me is still pregnant with all things, waiting for the arrival of spring.