When I came out of the office building, I shivered from the cold wind blowing in my face, sat in the car and started the car, and when I warmed up the car, I felt that the cold in the car slowly soaked into my bones, and the cold winter came.

I parked the car downstairs in the Lido and sat in the car looking at the room that had given me so much warmth, the upstairs and downstairs rooms were all lit, only the light in that room was black, and the window was staring at me like a bottomless black hole.

The once warm lights and warm embraces will never be there again, and the place where he goes may always be bright and warm like spring, will he think that winter has come in this far northwest?

Does he remember the days here?

Do you remember me as a person?

Will he delete me from his memory in the same way that he deletes photos from his phone?

Whenever I fall into contemplation like this, I feel that the future is so bleak, when I inquire about the meaning of life, I feel that life is ultimately a kind of nothingness, and I often doubt the meaning of my life, and why do I repeat the meaningless days day after day, year after year?

I really want to let go of my hands, close my eyes, and let myself float freely with the wind, thinking about nothing more.

The frequent occurrence of this thought really scared me, and I drove away from the building, the black hole that seemed to swallow me up.

I have my son, my parents, my job, my friends and family, they all have a warm light everywhere, they all need me, and I can't let myself get lost like that.

When facing life, everything in reality is like a thread pulling and leaving me in this world.

Thanks to all the tedious things in life, all the shackles, it gives weight to my life, so that I do not fall into the void of life.

The title of Milan Kundera's book "Can't Accept the Lightness of Life" has never been so deeply immersed in my heart as it is now.

Zhang Lisha from Anhe Hotel called me and asked me if I had been to Northwest City recently, saying that the staff of the hotel missed me, so I smiled and said, "Do you miss our local chickens and live fish?" ”

"Sister Lin, do we really miss you, and we also miss your native chickens and live fish? It's been a long time since you've been here."

Zhang Lisha said with a smile on the phone.

I laughed and said, "Okay, I've been a little busy lately, I'll go to see you when I have time, anyway, you Mr. Lin has already gone to work, don't worry about me anymore"

。

When I went to the hotel on Sunday, I saw that Lin Xiaoran was now fully recovered, and the business of the hotel was also good, and he seemed to be very energetic.

"If you don't die, there will be a blessing in the future, look at your proud spring breeze, the account is over?"

I smiled and sat down on the couch.

Lin Xiaoran made me a cup of tea and put it in front of me and said with a smile: "What's the hurry, pay it back slowly"

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"What, are you still short of money now?"

I asked as I sipped my tea.

"The money is not nervous, but what is the urgency of repaying the account, now it is the arrears who are not in a hurry to ask for the account, let Lao Zhou go in a hurry, and even come to ask for the account when I am half dead, I have money now and slowly pay it back, let him go in a hurry, anyway, he said that he will pay it back on a monthly basis, and let him run at least three times a month before giving money"

Lin Xiaoran leaned back in the chair and said with a wicked smile.

"I'm really convinced of you businessmen, money is like alfalfa, you are like a donkey, chasing the alfalfa on the tip of your nose all day long"

I don't think so.

Lin Xiaoran chuckled: "Don't talk about us so miserable, there is also the fun of making money, when we have a lot of money, you look at our ability again, the scenery is not comparable to a donkey, you see so many people who show off their scenery on the media and the Internet are either celebrities or rich people, which of them do you think they are like donkeys?" ”

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I smiled and said: "Look at their current scenery, which of those people is not earned by doing cattle and horses, unless he is the second generation of rich, the second generation of officials, and the second generation of stars, and can sit back and enjoy their success."

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Lin Xiaoran tilted his head and smiled, "Alas, you're right, pies won't fall from the sky, and it's not necessarily a good thing to sit back and enjoy it, and you can only taste when you eat it yourself." After this car accident, I also figured out a lot of things. Don't think about getting rich overnight, just do your own things in a down-to-earth manner, and live every day."

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I smiled and said, "It seems that you haven't been hit in vain, you have grown in, and you may have a lot of success in the future."

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Lin Xiaoran smiled and said: "It's a prize, sister, I think you will have a great future when you come to do business, you have been in charge of the hotel for more than a month, and the clerks have never forgotten you, the boss surnamed Xia asks you if you are here every time you come to eat, and now he is a frequent visitor to us."

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I hurriedly waved my hand and said: "Forget it, I'd better be a policeman with peace of mind, I can't enjoy your scenery, and I don't want to be a cow or a horse just for money."

At noon, there was a wedding banquet in the hotel, and the staff in the store were busy, and I went to the largest friendly shopping mall in Northwest City by myself.

I walked around the mall for a long time, although there were a lot of clothes, I didn't see what suited me, I didn't see the cheap ones, and I felt that the expensive ones were outrageous when I met them, and I felt that I was an ordinary little policeman wearing such expensive clothes.

There is no occasion for me to wear such expensive clothes, and I don't care about how I look in the eyes of others anymore.

Seeing a burgundy cashmere sweater very similar to the one I had bought, remembering that I had met him a second time in the hotel in that dress, dancing with him, and in the darkness he felt my sadness, he put my head on his shoulder and whispered that he was just a 'passer-by', and that he had given me all the comfort he could in his days.

It is true that he was just a 'passerby' in my life, but he is now so deeply embedded in my heart that I still can't get rid of the longing for him after so long.

I feel like I'm exhausted from struggling, but I still can't escape the cage of this emotion.

The wound was scarred on the surface, but it was suppurating on the inside, and my feelings were constantly controlled by a nameless despair, but I didn't know how to vent it, and I couldn't tell anyone, and I often felt that my heart was on the verge of collapse.

The service lady saw me in a daze with this dress, came over and introduced it enthusiastically, saying that this dress was very suitable for me, I nodded faintly and smiled and said, "Yes, it suits me very well, I already have one"

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I was no longer in the mood to go shopping, walking to the rest area of the mall, I was standing in front of the counter and thinking about whether to ask for tea or drinks, I felt someone walking towards me, and when I looked sideways, it was Pan Yue, I couldn't help but laugh dumbly, and said to him who walked to him: "I can meet you in such a big provincial city?" ”

"Thousands of miles of fate to meet, it seems that we have a good fate, I saw you at a glance. Go, sit with us, I'm over there with my friends."

Pan Yue smiled and pointed to the rest area on the left.

We sat across from a middle-aged man who looked very lean, with short hair and a piercing gaze at me.

Professional habits, we never shy away from the eyes of others, but do not feel that we want to see their thoughts from the eyes of others.

I looked at him carefully in his eyes, and found that his complexion had an unnatural smoothness, obviously just done cosmetic, and I laughed in my heart, perhaps accustomed to the rough men of the criminal police team, and always a little dismissive of such overly groomed men.

However, this man who loves to modify his temperament is still tough, without that kind of girly taste, the clothes are very high-grade but not eye-catching, it is a low-key luxury, and a expensive watch on his wrist shows that he has a very high status.

Looking at his unscrupulous look at me, he must be a very domineering person, and his eyes are so arrogant and unassuming, he doesn't look like a powerful person, he should be a rich person.

He looked back and forth between me and Pan Yue with interest, Pan Yue looked at him and smiled and introduced: "Lin Yi, the criminal police team of the Qingbei County Public Security Bureau"

。

He "oh"

One said: "Qingbei County's"

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The flash of contempt in his eyes reminded me of Mu Xiaobing's self-righteous eyes, and I suddenly felt a trace of unhappiness in my heart.

After thinking about it, this person and I didn't pay attention to what he did, and I was relieved.

Pan Yue asked me, "Tea or coffee?" Good coffee here"

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I said, "I'm going to drink tea, I don't know much about coffee."

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"Beauty, you can't have no coffee, have you?"

The man opposite said jokingly with a hint of mockery.

The store is full of 'Nestle' instant coffee and the like, no matter how expensive it is, it tastes bitter and sweet, and I really don't like the coffee products, and I really don't like it, so I don't want to pretend to be here.

Hearing the man on the other side speak, thinking about the contemptuous look that flashed in his eyes just now, I thought this person was really ridiculous.

"Isn't it great to have had coffee?"

I glanced at him contemptuously and sneered.

The man leaned back in the chair, put one arm on the back of the chair, raised his chin slightly, and said, "Although it is not a big deal, what kind of society is this, and this knowledge should also be there, right?" ”

"Even if you know how to drink coffee, it's too easy for that person to live in this life! Just let my son not have to go to school to drink coffee and learn more, he will die of happiness."

I scoffed unceremoniously.

At this time, the waiter brought me a cup of tea, I saw his tray and a cup of coffee, I pointed to the waiter who left and said to him with a smile: "Here, the most knowledgeable person should be him, and it can't be your turn, right?" ”

The man probably didn't expect me to speak so unpolitely, sat up straight, tapped his fingers lightly on the table, looked at me with a slight frown, and said, "Do you know who I am talking to me like this?" ”

I suddenly felt that this person's self-righteousness was a little too ridiculous, I turned my head to look at Pan Yue, and saw that he was gloating and sitting on the side with the corners of his mouth and smiling at the excitement, I turned my face and looked at the man opposite seriously Ho Ho smiled and said: "I can be sure that you are not the governor of Northwest Province, nor the secretary, I haven't seen you on CCTV news, and you are not a national leader, should you be the prince and grandson who traveled from ancient times?" Or maybe it's the horse of the Martian princess who crossed over from Mars? ”

Pan Yue giggled on the side, the man opposite was obviously a little angry, Pan Yue still couldn't help laughing, and said to the man while laughing: "Alas, Mr. Huo, don't be angry, whoever told you to provoke her, I won't provoke her."

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Then he turned to me and said: "This is my old friend, Huo Guangming, Mr. Huo, the leading real estate boss in Northwest City, Sister Lin, he is the famous diamond king in our Northwest City, and he was spoiled by beautiful women, don't be surprised."

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"There is no 'Ming' character at the back, 'Huo Guang' is a famous celebrity in Chinese history, and the word 'Ming' is added so that people don't know who it is, and the name is wrong?"

I pouted.

Pan Yue, who couldn't hold back his laughter, laughed again at this time, and Mr. Huo looked at me and laughed helplessly: "The police are aggressive when they talk, and they are not polite at all!" ”