Presumably there are often shepherds walking here, there is a sheep intestine trail up the mountain, the leaves sift the sunlight, all the way are mottled white points of light, the road up the mountain is not very steep, it is not a very laborious thing for me who has always loved sports, he has been walking in front of me, at this time I found that his posture of climbing the mountain is very vigorous, there is no very hard look, not like a pampered person at all, he stood up when he walked halfway up the mountain, turned back and asked: "How is it?" Tired? ”

"It was okay just now, but now it's a bit of a struggle"

I gasped and said he reached out to me and said, "The road is a little steep, let's climb slowly"

。

I looked up at him, although we have been together for so long, but we have never traveled together, in the shadow of the tree, his smiling face, his outstretched hand and even his person seem a little unreal, he is indeed a familiar stranger to me, I hesitated a little and reached out to take his hand, he felt my hesitation, smiled at me and tightened my hand, a slight pain made me feel his real existence.

We held hands and slowly climbed to the top of the mountain, silent along the way, he looked back at me from time to time, we just looked at each other and smiled and continued to bury our heads forward, even if we didn't say anything, but the hands held together made us silently experience the feeling of heart and hand connected.

It's not that I haven't loved or paid, more than ten years of time have passed silently, and I have long been as calm as water.

The original intention of being with him was just to meet a fellow traveler for a ride, but at this time, the throbbing of the heartstrings when they were plucked went straight to the bottom of my heart.

Arrive at the top of the mountain, a sudden brightness in front of us, we are standing on this mountain surrounded by the surrounding mountains, just now we stayed at the small gas station at the foot of the mountain, the house has risen in front of the curling smoke, and then down the small mountain village is also in front of us, the oncoming mountain breeze with a trace of coolness, let us refreshed, even if it is not too high a hill we also have a kind of happiness to the top, I smiled and asked him: "Do you say that people who climb Mount Everest also feel this way?" ”

He smirked, "It should feel pretty much the same."

。

I wrinkled my nose and smiled at him, "What you said is definitely not what you mean by heart."

He pulled me to his chest and put his arms around me and said, "What I said is certainly not the truth, but what you say in my heart is what you say to me."

。

I looked up into his face and asked him, "Why do you follow me whatever I say?" ”

He looked down into my eyes and said, "Still, as long as I can follow your business, I am willing to follow you and make you happy."

。

I looked at him fixedly, and what swelled up in my heart was not happiness, but incomparably sour, what he gave me was only what he could give me, and what I really longed for in my heart he couldn't give me.

I forcibly endured the sourness in my heart, smiled and lowered my head to his chest, closed my eyes and slowly sorted out my feelings, he just hugged me and said nothing.

Gently turned to face the foot of the mountain, looked at the smoke rising in front of the small house at the foot of the mountain, tilted his head to look at him and said with a smile: "I thought you were awesome when I saw you climbing the mountain just now"

He looked at me with a smile in his eyes and said, "You think I'm just a pampered rich man, I can't climb the mountain and walk!" I was very good at sports when I was in school, especially basketball, and I was on the college basketball team."

。

"Oh, you like to play basketball too?"

I asked, somewhat surprised.

"Who else likes to play basketball? You? ”

He looked at me with a smile in his eyes.

Wu Tianyang likes to play basketball, Chen Yixiao, Zheng Duo, Qiao Qifeng They also like to play basketball, in my youth, how many mornings and sunsets I spent with them on the basketball court, Chen Yixiao always likes to shout: "Still, pass the ball to me"

, Chen Yixiao played the ball the best, broke the ball, and the speed was the best, and my blue shooting rate was extremely high.

So he said at every turn, "Still, let's beat the three of them one by one."

。

Chen Yixiao's voice seemed to be still echoing in my ears, but more than ten years had passed in a hurry, and I let out a long sigh in my heart, looking at him and thinking, I don't know where he was at that time?

And with whom.

Thinking about the same thing in his heart, he said with a slightly exaggerated smile on his face: "The boys of our criminal police team all like to play basketball, and our basketball team has played invincible opponents all over Qingbei County, so it's amazing!" ”

。

"Oh, it's so powerful, don't you plan to go out of China and go to the world?"

He laughed.

"Ah, then you don't have to, just play with a big knife in front of your house"

I said with a smile.

There is no past, no future, and only the present.

We stood on the top of the mountain and looked at the sky, no wonder the woman under the mountain said that it was dark early in the mountains, and it felt like it was only half of the afternoon, the sun had set on the top of the high mountains in the west, and we watched the sun fall little by little, leaving bigger and bigger shadows in the valleys, the sun changed from bright to a faint golden yellow sprinkled in the valleys, the wide river meandered between the valleys, the clear river water flowed between the stones, a herdsman led a few horses to drink water by the river, and the sparse shrubs around them were inlaid with a layer of gold by the golden sun. As we looked at the indescribable scenery in silence, I turned to him and asked, "What are you thinking?" ”

He took my shoulders and gently kissed me in the hair and said, "Are you thinking about 'climbing the mountain and watching the fire in the daytime, and drinking the horse and crossing the river at dusk'?" ”

。

I smiled heartily and said: "I only like the sentence of this poem 'drinking horses and crossing the river at dusk', and there is always an indescribable long-term and quiet beauty when I think of it, just like the scene in front of me, no matter how chaotic the heart standing here can get a moment of peace here."

。

He looked at me silently for a while, took me into his arms, stroked my face, and said, "Still, do you know how beautiful you are?" You are so beautiful and so good, how could he be willing to leave you? He'll regret it."

。

I looked at him a little dazedly, wondering why he was saying this.

At this time, his elegant and handsome face was covered with a faint golden light by the setting sun, adding a kind of shining look, yes, Jiang Xinya is right, he is better than Wu Tianyang.

I reached out and stroked his face, opened my mouth slightly, and I wanted to ask him, "Will you be willing to leave me?" Do you regret leaving you? ”

But he opened his mouth a few times and didn't ask after all.

What's the use of me being so beautiful and so good?

Wu Tianyang used the best language in the world to me, but what I wanted eventually became a flower in the moon mirror in the water.

There were all kinds of tastes in my heart, and my nose was sour, and I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes, so I gently turned my back against his chest.

I don't want him to see my weakness and pain, he is not a partner who can be with me through thick and thin, we can't love each other even if we know each other, he is just a passerby, I can't share a share for me, I rely on him just because I am too tired to walk alone, I want to rest, but I can't give my heart to him.

I rested my head on his shoulder, slightly closed my eyes and let the mountain breeze gently dry the tears in my eyes, he lowered his head and rubbed my face against mine, and called my name in my ear with a sigh "still, still"

。

Even if we have a thousand words in each other's hearts, we can't say anything, because there is no future, and all the words of love are pale and weak.

The golden sunset turned from shallow to deep, and I gradually calmed down my mood, since I chose to be with him knowing the result, why should I feel sorry for myself?

"The sun is about to set, let's go down"

I said "Okay, let's go down"

He said softly, and hugged me tightly for a while before letting go.

When I walked to the front of the house, I smelled a sweet smell of freshly steamed steamed buns.

We went into the kitchen and saw two elderly people waiting for us.

"Why do your steamed steamed buns smell so sweet?"

I asked.

The old woman who was putting vegetables on the plate from the pot smiled and said: "This is the flour steamed from this year's new wheat mill, this wheat is grown in the mountains, and the wheat grown in the mountains is harvested more than half a month later than the wheat grown outside the mountains, and the long time is long, and there is no chemical fertilizer on the land here, because the weather is cold and there are few pests and diseases, so it is better to eat than the flour outside the mountains, but the wheat yield here is low."

。

"No wonder I've never eaten such a sweet steamed bun, it seems that today is worth the trip"

I said with a smile.

I turned my face and saw him moving the table outside, and when he walked past me, he said, "Shall we eat outside?" ”

"Just what I want, the food is beautiful"

I said with a smile, and followed him outside the house with the food.

During the meal I asked the old woman, "What about your children?" ”

"They don't want to come back after going to school in the county, where can the young people endure the loneliness in the mountains! Only us old people are still staying. ”

The old man said.

"Aren't you two lonely to stay here?"

The old man smiled and said: "We are all used to it, it is good to live a quiet and simple life here, my surname is Tao, I must be the descendant of Tao Yuanming, I like to be quiet here, his poem doesn't say, 'Picking chrysanthemums in the east, leisurely seeing Nanshan'?" Do you think you're talking about this? Come back in autumn and look at the chrysanthemums and dahlas in front of our yard, which are beautiful! ”

。

The old woman also smiled: "We are both in our sixties, we don't want anything else, as long as we are healthy and healthy, don't we sing every day in the song 'The most romantic thing is to grow old with you'?" We're very romantic here! Isn't it an old man? ”

The two old humorous and humorous people all laughed, "You are called 'holding the hand of the son, growing old with the son'!" ”

I laughed.

Our eyes met inadvertently, and quickly moved away, but for a moment the smile on my face gradually stiffened, in the face of such a pair of old people, facing the person I liked, I felt that my future was confused, I didn't know who I would grow old with and where.

At this time, there was twilight in the mountains, and the smoke from the cooking in the village not far away had drifted through the mountains, like a thin layer of mist, and the village gradually felt unreal in the thicker and thicker twilight.

Walking through the silent and dark mountains, the unusually dense and low hanging stars make us feel as if we are on another planet, walking in a world where there are only the two of us.

We were silent all the way, this is the world of the two of us, not out of the mountain, but even in this world where there are only the two of us, I can't let go of my mood, I have to put on armor from time to time to keep my heart from being hurt again, but this defense makes me very tired.

Seeing a little light in the distance, I only knew that Linshui Village was about to arrive, he suddenly braked the car, I suddenly woke up from my thoughts, he looked out the window quietly, I looked at him sideways, I couldn't see his expression clearly in the dark carriage.

He pushed the car door and got out of the station next to the car, I leaned on the seat and closed my eyes slightly, we stopped here and didn't want to go forward, but we had to go, there were too many of us in that world, I never asked about his life just because I knew in my heart that I was not in his future life, he never said, because if he said it, it would become a burden to me, and we could only pretend not to know all the way forward.

I got out of the car and walked over to him, and he reached out and hugged me tightly.

"Still, I don't know what I should do to you, I can't accompany you to old age, so I'm not qualified to say I love you, but I really love you, and I hope to do something for you, even if it's just a little, but I don't know what I can do for you? But in front of me, you don't want to be so stubborn and hold yourself up, okay? It really makes me sad that you are so hard to hide your feelings in front of me, this is not the original intention I want to be with you, the sharpness when I first saw you, the tears when I saw you again, I can feel the pain in your heart, still, I want to be able to take care of you and comfort you, make you happier, even if the time is very short"

。

The pain that had been in my heart for so many years came to me in an instant, and I began to cry silently, then began to sob, and then wept loudly.

No matter how sad I was, even if everyone knew that Wu Tianyang had hurt me deeply and made me lonely until now, I had never shed a single tear for him in front of others.

"Still, still"

He hugged me and gently shook my body.

I felt tired of crying, leaning softly on his arms, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, I just wanted to be an ordinary little woman, snuggled in this man's arms and loved by him, let him heal the wounds of the past.

I didn't want to get too close to him, but in the end, I couldn't help myself and became more and more addicted to the relationship.