With a snap, Kim Taeyeon casually turned on the light in the room.

When she got back to her nest, she shook off her boots, put on slippers with two big pink rabbit heads, threw her bag on the sofa, and walked to the bedroom.

After burying her body heavily in the soft quilt, she felt physically and mentally exhausted.

Today can be said to be the most tiring day she has had in recent times.

Thinking back to all the things that happened at the party before, she felt really, really, so hard.

In this process, she couldn't show abnormalities in front of the members, playing with everyone, happy, and convulsive, but who knew that her heart was dripping blood.

Especially when she saw those two people doing this and that together, she wanted to get out of there immediately.

The members of her own group are in love with their favorite person, is there anyone more unlucky in the world than her?

She Kim Taeyeon can't do anything to grab a man with her sister, even the man she's loved for so many years.

This is Kim Taeyeon's own minimum dignity, and if she doesn't even have this, she doesn't know what kind of person she will become.

The qiē that happened in the corridor before completely broke her already tense nerves, and she didn't know what she did after that, and she couldn't remember how she came over after that.

When she returned home after the end of the qiē, she finally understood that the qiē was over, and she and Jin Haoyu's past qiē and qi were all decided by her to cut it in two, and from then on the two were simply subordinate relations, no matter what the other party was, he had to stay away from him.

Because she felt that she could no longer withstand this unintentional injury from Jin Haoyu.

Kim Taeyeon really wished she could just go to sleep like this, but she couldn't sleep.

Kim Taeyeon finally got up slowly and changed into pajamas, and poured herself a cup of black bean soy milk, which is her favorite on weekdays.

But the warm soy milk still can't warm her cold heart now.

Even the sweet honey water tastes more sour than lemonade.

It was almost late at night, but she couldn't sleep, and finally took out a book with a delicate cover full of girlish atmosphere, lay down in the quilt, and opened it.

This is her personal diary, recording countless secrets and thoughts that she can't tell in her heart under the name Kim Tae-yeon.

February 10, 2011

She wrote about this day that made her heart ache so much.

One stroke at a time, as she slowly recounted, a qiē that happened today appeared in her pen as if the scene was reappearing, but this time she did not feel so painful, as if the negative feelings in her heart were slowly poured into the pages with the tip of the pen.

When the last word ended, Kim Taeyeon let out a sigh of relief, and her heart was a lot calmer.

But after thinking about it, she planned to write down the thoughts in her heart together, maybe it would be easier, and it could be regarded as a farewell, Kim Taeyeon thought in her heart.

She gently turned the new page and wrote slowly.

"Kim Haoyu, don't break my heart anymore, you know? Still, maybe it's the last time. ”

"I'll get better slowly, and I'll get our relationship in order."

"I didn't say anything, I thought you'd understand."

"Whatever is going on in my heart, you can guess."

"I have always waited silently by myself, endured and looked forward to it."

"You once said that you would not leave me alone, promised, promised."

"But now you're lying! Why are you lying to me? ”

"Is it really hard to say love? Just this one word, I've been waiting for so long, but you always say it to others. ”

"You've been changing, and now I'm starting to get tired too, really tired."

"Time is constantly passing, I thought our relationship could get deeper and deeper, but the more I like you, the more it hurts."

"Why is your perception always wrong, always ignoring my existence and constantly missing?"

"Didn't you ever look at me seriously?"

"I thought you knew my heart, but now you're just going to keep breaking my heart."

"Because you and I are going crazy, why are you toying with me? Why are you bullying me? ”

"Because of you, I don't know how many times a day my mood goes up and down."

"Because of you, I don't know how many times I have covered my heart and felt sad."

"Because of you, I don't know how many nights wept silently."

"You don't know how I'm feeling."

"I have what you've been looking for."

"But you're constantly looking at others and looking west."

"No, don't make me sad anymore, please."

"But this is the last time, because I won't wait for you any longer."

"You don't know what love is, it only hurts my heart."

"How can you understand my heart now!"

"The more I like it, the more I am afraid, and the closer I get, the more powerless I become."

"Originally, your gentle eyes were a little comfort in my heart."

"But now the more you look at me, I can only feel endless emptiness."

"Because that is no longer my tenderness, it is the exclusive right of others."

"You don't know, every time I want to see you,"

"Even if you're bored, you have to put on your makeup carefully."

"Even if your leg hurts, wear very high heels."

"Even if it's uncomfortable, dress nicely."

"Even if you see a handsome guy, say you look the most handsome."

"Even if you're not scared, you have to pretend to be surprised when you watch the movie."

"No matter how hard it is, you have to clean it up when you visit."

"Do you know how I'm feeling? Do you know how hard I work? ”

"I'm smiling on the surface, but I'm crying on the inside."

"I never responded, but I'm still waiting."

"I, whom you have never really faced, will not wait for you anymore."

"Love is really vicious, so I don't know it until now."

"From today onwards, I will walk alone."

"One person goes to the movies, one person goes to jerking."

"One gets drunk, one listens to the song."

"I can be fine without you, and I can live well without you..."

The more Kim Taeyeon wrote, the more sad she became, and she didn't know when tears flowed.

One drop, two drops, slowly dripping onto the slightly yellowed paper, soaked the original ink, and the faint blue handwriting slowly faded with tears, gradually becoming unrecognizable.

Click, click, her tears dripped more and more.

Kim Tae-yeon, who finally couldn't help it, couldn't control her feelings anymore, so she tore off the page full of her infinitely complex feelings, and crumpled it into a ball in three or two clicks, as if all her sadness and pain were mixed in, and threw it out.

The fluttering ball of paper bounced to the ground, jumped a few times, and then slowly rolled into the dark crevice under the nearby bookcase, as if Kim Taeyeon intended to bury all her feelings deep in her heart, never to be discovered by the world.

A whimpering muffled cry finally came out, and she buried her head deep in the pillow, as if she didn't want anyone to hear her sadness, even if she was the only one in the empty house.

Gradually, Kim Taeyeon, who was finally tired of crying, fell into a deep sleep at some point, but her hands tightly clutched the sheets showed that the owner was not so relaxed even in the dream.