Chen Daoxu, when you read this letter, I think that there will never be a chance to meet between us again, but I, Su Muyu, can proudly say to others that I once had a man who really made me happy.

Ever since I was a child, my mom told me that men can't be trusted because it's her own experience.

My mom and my dad used to be an enviable couple, at least before giving birth to me, but then my dad had problems with his business, and the Su family shifted their focus from my dad to cultivating Su Jiuge, and from that time on, my dad changed.

On the one hand, he maintained a harmonious family image to the outside world, and on the other hand, he often came back drunk in the middle of the night and beat my mother severely.

At that time, I would consciously run into a room, close the door, and huddle in the corner, while reciting the Tao Te Ching, which was very obscure to other children, while listening to various sounds coming from outside.

The 5,000-word Tao Te Ching is not long, but I will memorize it three or four times, and if it is not enough, I will memorize it seven or eight times, and I will not stop until the sound of my dad slamming the door as he left is heard outside.

Then I went and opened the door, and every time my mother was sitting on the ground with her hair disheveled and crying, and the blood was dripping, and all I could do was stand there and watch.

This went on for five years, and I don't think I'm really a sensible child, because if other children were other children, shouldn't they come forward to protect their mothers and admonish their fathers?

I didn't, not once.

Because my mother told me that to be a woman, you must learn to protect yourself, especially the more beautiful a woman is, the more you must protect yourself, this society is too dangerous, men are not trustworthy, and women are too vicious. If you can't protect yourself, you'll only be bullied and bruised like her.

My mother is a very decisive person, and I inherited her decisive character, so I keep this sentence in mind and often write it when I practice calligraphy.

Women, learn to protect yourself.

But then my dad went too far. This beastly guy had other women out there, and came back and didn't just beat my mother. even scolded me, saying that it was because of me that he lost his position as the core of the Su family.

When he came back that day, he was very drunk, and when he saw me doing my homework alone in the room, he rushed in and tried to rape me...... My mom saw it and came to protect me, and I hid in her arms, not crying or making a fuss. just endured silently with her until he left again.

That day, my mother looked at my torn clothes, and for the first time her eyes were blood-red and scolded me that my dad was not as good as a beast, and then she sued me that she was going to find someone to teach me how to protect myself.

Then she brought in an old man with gray hair and taught me how to exercise myself, and I got up at 5 a.m. every day to go for a run. I learned martial arts at six o'clock, and when I came back, my mother taught me to play the guzheng and learn to paint, and read "The Complete Works of Zeng Guofan" and "Compendium of Materia Medica", saying that if girls want to protect themselves, they must not only be physically strong, but also spiritually strong.

At that time, I was tempted to ask my mother. Why didn't she do that?

My mom was crying so much that she hugged me and said she thought there was a man who would protect her, so she didn't need to do that.

She didn't say anything else, but I knew she was saying she was wrong.

Although I was sad that day, I still helped my mom wipe away her tears. And she said, Mom, don't worry, and me, I'll protect you.

My mom smiled, she was really beautiful when she smiled, and when she was younger, she must have been prettier than me.

I'm getting smarter and smarter, I'm even able to memorize the 5,000 words of the Tao Te Ching, and when those junior high school kids are still worried about the high school entrance examination, I've already started to study college textbooks, but I think I'm still very useless, because every time I get a certificate from school, my mom will burn it all in front of me.

She told me that I had to learn to hide and learn to be an ordinary person.

I didn't understand this, like I thought it was normal to talk to people in English, German, and French in junior high school, but my mom told me that everyone would think I was a freak, so I asked her, what is ordinary?

She said that at the right time, do what everyone is doing, that is, be ordinary, otherwise everyone will treat you as a freak, and freaks are the fastest to die.

I made a note of it.

But later, when my mother took out my favorite paintings and zither and told me to burn them, I was a little stunned, and I didn't understand why I did that.

She said that she wanted me to let me know that what you worked may not be recognized by others, and what you cherish may not be cherished by others, and she wanted me to always remember this feeling of loss.

I remembered, but I didn't understand at the time, so I cried and took a hammer and fire and destroyed my favorite paintings and zither.

My mom was watching and smiling.

It wasn't until now that I realized that my mom was a little mentally disturbed from that time on.

And this qiē was finally discovered by my father, and that afternoon he went into the house with a stick, chased after my mother, and said that he would sell me and her as chickens, I knew what it meant to be a chicken, and my mother knew it, so that day my mother didn't bear it anymore, and she stabbed the beast to death with a knife.

And then she went crazy.

I looked at my mother, who begged me not to call the police, wiped the blood with a rag, and told her that I would protect her from then on.

After that, I burned down the house with gas and took my mother to hide in an ordinary nursing home, I knew that the Su family had been staring at me all the time, and if I wanted to protect myself, I had to protect my mother.

The police did not investigate too deeply in this gas explosion incident, because it was our Su family's business, and from that time on, I knew that the police played a very small role in some things, and it was wrong for the teacher to teach us to go to the police uncle when we were children.

You have to rely on yourself.

On the day I settled my mother, the white-haired old man shoved a knife into my arms, and he asked me to kill him, of course I refused, but he said that only in this way could the secret of my mother's life be kept forever, and he said that only the dead are the most faithful.

I did what he said, and I cried so hard that day that I killed a man who was really good to me with my own hands.

But I desperately said to myself that killing people is the same as drinking water, eating, playing the piano and writing, and I will get used to it.

But I know I'm guilty, I'm a woman who can never be washed clean.

Chen Daoxu, this is my story, I drank a lot of liquor that day, and I drove to see you, do you know how long I investigated you before that?

I know everything you have done since you came to Mingzhu, and you are also the one who really watched you completely drive the Bai family away from Jiangnan, so I know how powerful you are, and I also know how much of a threat you will have in Su Jiuge's eyes.

That's why I chose you.

Su Jiu Ge is an idiot, he doesn't know how strong your strength is, just like although he practiced qi, he never believed in the power of the inner martial arts, so he deserved to lose.

Yes, Chen Daoxu, you won, but I, Su Muyu, don't think about you too much, I just used my body in exchange for the arrogance and sympathy that you men have, and I just used my identity as your woman in exchange for my own position in this struggle.

I left a glimmer of life for you and Lin Hongxiang, just to make you grateful to me, I have already prepared Su Jiuge's information for you, just so that you don't dare to touch me, and let you help me rescue my mother!

Too easy.

I, Su Muyu, am a very cold person, my mother told me that women must learn to protect themselves, do you think I will pin all my hopes on you?

I won't!

So goodbye, Chen Daoxu, I am an unclean woman, you should treat me coldly, I almost killed your fiancée, you should hate me too, but I hope you treat your fiancée well, I know you love her very much, my mother sued me, women are born in this world, they are men, they read men, they are still men, they are still men, they are too bitter, you have to remember this sentence, you can't let her down.

Chen Daoxu, I love you, there was a moment.

……

Chen Daoxu read the letter silently, then he put it away, folded it seriously and stuffed it back into the envelope, put it in his inner pocket, raised his head, and his face was calm.

The woman standing on the cliff wearing a navy blue cheongsam showed that her past self was dead by jumping off the cliff, but the new one is still the Su Muyu who drank white wine and went crazy and slept with people?

That Su Muyu...... It's dead.

It's just that why does it hurt so much in my heart? (To be continued.) If you like this work, you are welcome to come and your support, which is my biggest motivation. )