readx; Time passed slowly, and I was like a machine circling between the major business buildings. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 info The cold wind is blowing suddenly, which indifferent face looks at it expressionlessly, I still force a smile, in the face of everyone I want to serve, although it is very hard, very tired, but it can't stop my enthusiasm for saving money, I want to see my mother, this is my only belief.

I still stupidly believe that Xia Jing will wait for me and grow old with me! It may be that she has joined the work, and the time is not as free as before, it may be that she is restrained in front of her parents! Or maybe she's mature! Xia Jing'er rarely contacts me anymore, long-distance relationship! It's really not a boil, every day makes me live like a year! I wanted to go to her, but I thought about the cost and the need for chemotherapy. I endured it again, and I believed that Xia Jing would understand my ...... Will it?!

On the second day of June 2009, I returned to my home after a year's absence, because the hospital had given my mother a final notice not to undergo chemotherapy, wasting money! My mother was lying on a bed with a sponge cushion in the summer, probably afraid of the cold! When I saw her, she was already speechless and occasionally fell into a coma. My body is swollen because of chemotherapy, and my hair has already fallen out! His face is bulging, his eye sockets are deep, and he occasionally moans of pain unconsciously...... My heart is like a knife...... The most painful thing about being a son of man is to watch his mother slowly accept death, and he can't do anything about it...... I hate myself so much, why can't I make a lot of money, I hate myself so much why I didn't know about my mother's illness in advance, maybe there is a little room for redemption...... Looking at my mother in bed, I spent every moment in self-blame......

I sent a long text to Xia Jing this time and asked her to come over...... She came over without hesitation, she saw that I was, I wore a pair of shorts to fan my mother, at that time there were often power outages in the village, and it was summer, my mother's body was fat and swollen and very hot, I knelt in front of her and fanned desperately, but I was hot and sweaty, and the sweat would be full of eyes, I couldn't open it!

Xia Jing'er appeared directly in front of my bed, and looked at me quietly, as if to see if I had changed? I didn't expect her to arrive at noon! She was still wearing a white dress, but there seemed to be something indescribable in her originally clear baby-like eyes...... The two of us looked at each other and smiled, and neither of us explained the unpleasantness of some time ago......

At three o'clock in the afternoon on the eighth day of the sixth month, my mother left this ruthless world like this. God: You took my mother away like this, did you ever think about this family, this home that could no longer withstand the blow...... My brother was stupid at the time, I said that all three of us are closer to my mother, and I don't have much affection for my father, but my mother is gone, and my brother Sledgehammer won't cry anymore, but he is silent, and occasionally howls (there is a rule in my hometown that seems to be that when a loved one dies, whoever cries the loudest means who is filial). At that time, several cousins in my clan said to him: Your mother is gone, why don't you cry, sledgehammer? Honestly, my brother even said I couldn't cry...... My brother's tears never broke when my dad left, and from my brother's sledgehammer tears, you can see how hard my mother's departure hit my family!! My mother is the spiritual pillar of my family...... It's the soul of my family......

The soul is gone, is home still home?

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