In the icy river water in winter, Qiao Ye and I swam from one end to the other, and the cold river washed away the frivolity on our bodies, and the choice, loss, grief, and adult-like hypocrisy of the world are like this biting weather, imprisoning us in this boundless night, and we can only look bitterly at the dawn before the dawn...... Gradually, day and night suddenly seemed to have no obvious boundaries in my consciousness. People squint in the wind and sand, hold umbrellas in the rain, shake their fans in the scorching sun, optimistic people still sing, negative people live without hope, and the world has never changed for those who want to die.

After a long time, I crawled out of the river as if I had died once, and Qiao Ye insisted on swimming for another minute before going ashore. This night, we were completely cathartic, but like the two bereaved dogs, we ran back to the bar with the fire in our clothes.

We sat by the fire with a quilt in his hand, a bottle of vodka in his hand, a box of Marlboro cigarettes in my hand, and the whole bar seemed to be filled with our troubles. Yes, no matter how much we vent, those troubles will not really say goodbye to us.

I helped Qiao Ye light the cigarette in his mouth, and then squinted his eyes and said to him: "Actually, I lied to you, and this lie has been lying for nearly 20 years. ”

Qiao Ye glanced at me and asked, "What's the matter, you hid your gender from me?" ”

I took a puff of my cigarette and looked up to exhale all the smoke before I said to him, "That's not it...... I told you that when you feel like you can't survive, you go for a swim in the river, but it's a lie...... In all these years, I have never swam down the river myself. ”

Qiao Ye glared at me and scolded, "You******...... As far as you say this nonsense, I also used it as a life-saving straw, causing me to swim in the river all winter in the year I first got married. ”

I laughed "haha" and questioned, "All winter!" Is it that exaggerated? ”

"Whoever tells a lie is a grandson...... I'm still a member of the Nanjing Winter Swimming Association! ”

"You're awesome!"

I poured vodka into his cup as I spoke, and the two of us fell silent as we watched the flames in the stove fall silent as it seemed to snow outside the window. Perhaps, this is a gift from God, so that our two frustrated stinky men will not be too monotonous to face the whole dark night outside the window.

……

When a bottle of volt was about to be drunk quickly, Qiao Ye suddenly put down his wine glass and asked me, "Jiang Qiao, there is actually a question that I especially want to ask you...... Have you really loved Chen Yi? If you have loved, but why are you hanging so much, saying that you will really let go! ”

I thought for a long time before I replied, "Maybe it's because I stink." ”

Qiao Ye gave me a thumbs up, then nodded back, "I just like your honesty." Hehe, it seems that the two of us are really the benchmark of people. ”

"No, you don't have to hold me up like that."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't want to be more face-sensitive than me, so please don't put me on the same level as you and call me brothers, I can't afford it."

Qiao Ye glared at me for a long time, and finally suddenly said "I serve" as if deflated, and then drank the remaining wine in the cup, and the night that belonged to us ended completely in this tragic atmosphere.

It wasn't long before the two of us came up with the strength of the wine and fell asleep on the floor next to the fire.

……

The next day, a vision suddenly appeared, and Qiao Ye, who had always been cynical, woke up before me, and the time was only eight o'clock in the morning.

I woke up for a while, and then I remembered that before I drank too much last night, he seemed to have told me that he would go to Hangzhou before nine o'clock to attend a bidding meeting, and he didn't miss out on drinking, but I did. It was rare for me to see him once, but I forgot to tell him that Jinqiu was going to set up a wedding company with the brand "Dream Tree" in "Dream Tree". And the sooner you talk to him about this matter, the better, because he is the largest shareholder of the "Dream Tree", so he has the most say in whether this matter can be done or not.

After waking up, I washed up briefly and picked up the cleaning tools to clean the dirty area where we had drunk last night, and a moment later Jin Qiu came over and she brought me a breakfast.

While I was eating this breakfast, she kept looking at me with a somewhat strange gaze, and I didn't care about it for a long time, and finally I couldn't help but ask her, "Why are you looking at me like this?" ”

"I want to tell you something, but I don't know how to say it."

"Just speak in the most direct way."

"Okay......" After a pause, Jin Qiucai said to me again: "After leaving the bar last night, I received a call from Chen Yi, and she said ......"

I interrupted her, and said in a calm tone; "She told you that she was going to marry Wang Ze...... Just a year later. ”

"You...... How do you know? ”

"Not only do I know, but I also know the invitation she gave...... In the invitation, she called me her best friend. ”

Jin Qiu nodded, and replied for a while: "Then what do you think?" ”

There was another wave of inexplicable emotion in my heart, and I wanted to tell Jin Qiu: If I say that I am not sad at all, it is false. But when the words came to her mouth, they became: "She is a woman who doesn't give answers to others easily, and now that she has given it, I think it's really appropriate...... So as a friend, I wish her very well and hope that she can enjoy the joy of married life in her later life. ”

Jin Qiu took a puff of the lady's cigarette in his hand and said, "I'm relieved that you can think so...... Actually, before I even talked to you, I thought I might have been overthinking...... After all, there is still a Xiao Ai between you and her. Perhaps, after all this has happened, you really just think of her as a friend now. ”

I smiled, and then in a joking tone, I replied, "Even if I didn't face up to my friendship with her, I wouldn't have run to her wedding scene with my character." ”

Jin Qiu's tone was more like a joke, she said, "Maybe she really wants you to go to the wedding scene?" …… Actually, I really don't need to worry about you, I'm afraid that Chen Yi's heart hasn't really let go of you. Otherwise, why don't you calmly give you the invitation by hand, and you have to ask Qiao Ye, a busy man, to do it for you! ”

I leaned back subconsciously and replied, "You can't talk nonsense. ”

"Is it nonsense, you may get closer to the truth if you go and talk to her...... Jiang Qiao, getting married is a big thing, which means that it is difficult to turn back in this life, you have already missed Xiao Ai, if you miss Chen Yi again, I am afraid it will be really difficult for you to be successful in love in this life. ”

I was silent for a long time, then shook my head and said, "You don't know, since we chose to break up completely in Lijiang, there has been no choice between us...... I have no right to bother her anymore, and she has no right to be half-hearted with Wang Ze. And life, or a serious love, should be what we are now. ”

Jin Qiu is not a person who is very willing to persuade others in terms of feelings, so after seeing my resolute attitude, she gave up, and she just asked softly, "What about you?" is already a big boss, would you rather be so single? …… If grandma were still alive......"

Jin Qiu's words were only halfway through before he stopped, but it was enough for me to care. After I took a sip of porridge, I didn't care much and asked, "Could it be that Chen Yi's marriage touched you and made you have the idea of making do with me?" …… We all know grandma's wishes, and we also know your father's thoughts...... They all want us to get married. ”

Jin Qiu smiled and replied, "Your joke is getting more and more excessive...... We are not suitable for marriage. ”

I smiled in response and said, "Then let's live so peacefully...... I'm enjoying my current life with a career to do, and as for getting married...... Hehe, what kind of marriage am I considering, there are no conditions for marriage at all. We are all doing weddings, and houses and cars are the standard for marriage, and we know better than anyone else. But not only do I not have these two things, but I also have a debt of 4 million on my body. When I talk about the word marriage, I panic! ”

Jin Qiu glanced at me and didn't continue the topic with me. And after a period of silence, I changed the topic and said: "The things that should be handled at the bar are almost done, if there are no unexpected circumstances, we will go back to Nanjing tomorrow morning...... I want to find a short-term rental house on Tulip Road, but I am afraid that I will not be able to rent it if I go back late. ”

Jin Qiu extinguished the half-smoked lady's cigarette in his hand and replied, "I don't have a problem when I go back, you just decide...... However, you didn't plan to come to my house for the New Year, I was surprised! ”

……

On this day, Jin Qiu didn't stay in the bar for too long, she went back at noon, saying that she wanted to see a friend before returning to Nanjing, and I was not idle all afternoon, I cleaned the bar, and then went to sort out the luggage to bring back to Nanjing.

When dusk was approaching, I finally finished the last thing I should do at the "Dream Tree", and then briefly explained to the doorman what I must pay attention to during the festival, especially about the fire department, and I should check it every day.

The reason why I take the trouble to emphasize it is because my life was completely changed by a fire.

I have self-blame in my heart, and I have always thought that if it wasn't for the psychological pressure on my grandmother, she might not have passed away so soon, and at least would have accompanied me through this year's Spring Festival.

Just as I was about to hand over all the keys to the doorman for safekeeping, a familiar Audi A4 was slowly driving from the distant concrete road under the sunset, and I couldn't imagine that she had come here for any reason other than to look for me, so I took the key back from the doorman's hand.

It was Chen Yi who came, I can't be mistaken, because I still remember her car vividly, about four years ago, I accompanied her to the 4S store to drive back. She also said at the time that she would drive this car for the rest of her life.

I said: You are stupid, it will not take a lifetime, at most half a lifetime, and this car should become scrap metal.

Chen Yi laughed, she said: Then drive this pile of broken copper and iron to take you, a bad old man, to travel around the world.

I said, "You're going to be the rhythm of my dead wife!"

She laughed again, anyway, happier than me that day, and our happiness stemmed from the fact that we were not together at that time, so we could fantasize unscrupulously, so there was a lifetime between us, although this life was imagined, but it did exist in our minds, but I don't know if this is a sadness or a kind of luck. The only thing that is certain is that some people who can't be together will eventually wait for the day when it comes to an end, and for Chen Yi and me, it's today.

……

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