In the changing lights of the city, I asked Yang Jin, "When will you go back to Shanghai, I want to talk to you." ”

Yang Jin is not a person who drags mud and water, she replied: "You can go back tomorrow, but what do you want to talk to me about?" ”

Her tone inexplicably made me feel a sense of distance, so I replied, "It's okay to talk on the phone...... I just want to ask you, after you left Nanjing, Jiang Jiyou followed you a few days later, and then there was no news of him, I just want to know his whereabouts. ”

The name Jiang Jiyou seemed to be the deepest thorn in Yang Jin's heart, she was silent for a long time and did not speak, while I sat in the uncovered bus and listened to the wind rustle the leaves on both sides of the road, just like my nervous mood at the moment...... Even if I don't have a father-son relationship for Jiang Jiyou, I hope he can come back to see my grandmother when she is seriously ill.

When the bus was about to pull towards the last stop, Yang Jin finally replied: "Jiang Qiao, you heard my mother say that I have been like you for so many years, and I don't know where Jiang Jiyou went...... I made a lot of determination to leave Nanjing, I thought he could give you and your grandmother a stable life after learning from the pain, but I never thought that he would also leave...... By the time I knew this, I had already made you suffer a lot of grievances, and I was at fault, I should have insisted on taking you away from Nanjing. ”

My heart was shocked, lost, and melancholy, I didn't expect that Yang Jin hadn't seen Jiang Jiyou all these years, so where did Jiang Jiyou go, and did he really leave to follow Yang Jin?

At this moment, the light of the city, like a flame provoked by the wind, made me feel dizzy, I was completely confused, I don't know what happened in the years after they left Nanjing, and how they view their relationship with the next generation, I don't understand!

I don't think Yang Jin is cheating on me, because if she really has a private connection with Jiang Jiyou, she won't fail to tell him about her grandmother's condition, and after he knows, what reason is there not to come back to see, it is the mother who gave birth and raised......

At this time, the bell tower in the distance sounded a bell that seemed to be redeemed, and I lost the ** that continued to chat with Yang Jin, and finally said "I know" lightly, and hung up her phone.

I don't want to find out when she started paying attention to me, because it doesn't mean anything to me now.

What I'm afraid of is that Jiang Jiyou is no longer alive in this world, otherwise there is no reason to explain why he has been gone for so many years, but he has not returned to Nanjing in the middle, not once!

Just when I got off the bus and went to the hospital alone, I received a message from Yang Jin, she said that she was also looking for Jiang Jiyou, she was in the same mood as me, and hoped that he could see his grandmother at this time, but even she didn't get any news from Jiang Jiyou.

……

When I returned to the hospital, I gently pushed open the door of the ward, and my grandmother had already fallen asleep, and the person who accompanied her in the ward today was Russell Mei, who also slept.

I turned up the temperature of the air conditioner a little bit, and then tucked the quilt for my grandmother, and when I held her hand, it was really cold, as if the flame of life was burning out, and this state made me feel very bad......

Russell Mei's sleep was very light, and she woke up looking at me in a daze, and then asked, "It's so late, why are you here?" ”

"I want to be with my grandmother...... Auntie, go back and rest, I'll be here to accompany you these days. ”

Luo Sumei refused at first, but when she looked at her grandmother on the hospital bed, she nodded in agreement, and then said to me: "If you want to eat something tomorrow morning, Auntie will make it for you." ”

"Just eat some porridge."

"Okay, Auntie will cook you polenta."

Russell Mei answered, took out the bag containing her clothes from the cupboard, and left the ward. In just a moment, the room was completely silent, and after a brief wash of my face, I half-lay down on the sofa against the window, looking at the night view of the city.

Shanghai is Shanghai, even though it is close to the early hours of the morning, there are still so many cars coming and going on the high bridge, and the sky of the whole city is painted orange by these moving lights, but I can hardly see beyond the high-rise buildings in front of me, I feel like I am trapped in a cage that does not seem to be locked.

In fact, who is truly free? From the moment we are born, we are already limited by life and death......

Thinking too much, too complicated, I lost sleep, I curled up in the corner of the couch, more and more afraid, I longed for the night to pass sooner, let the dawn sun take its place, and then drive away all the gloom for the world.

……

I don't know when my grandmother woke up, she turned on the bed lamp and said to me a little weakly: "Qiao, why are you sleeping here, where are you Aunt Luo?" ”

"I just asked her to go back, and I want to stay here with you."

Grandma smiled and replied: "Okay, you can chat with grandma for a while, I don't know how to get it, I always sleep until I wake up in the middle of the night these days, and I can't sleep anymore!" ”

I reassured, "Maybe I slept too much during the day." ”

"Then I'll sleep less during the day."

"Well, from tomorrow onwards, while the morning and evening are cool, I will accompany you out for a walk."

Grandma first answered, and then after a moment of silence, she said to me: "Qiao, you don't have to spend too much time with grandma, you should think about your future days...... You can't be like this all the time, grandma will feel anxious for you. ”

"Grandma, I'm not in a hurry at work, I'll plan well when you're well."

"You didn't understand what grandma meant......"

I looked at my grandmother in amazement, I didn't know what else was going on besides not working.

After staring at me for a moment, my grandmother finally said, "In two or three years, you will be thirty years old, and your father will already have you at your age...... Grandma knew that she shouldn't say something depressing at this time, but her illness was terminal, so since she arrived in Shanghai, she didn't expect to go back alive...... The only hope now is that I can watch you get married while I live, and I have no regrets even if I leave......"

I felt sad for a while, and I didn't know how to deal with it, because Xiao Ai and I were already not much different from life and death, and to say that marrying her was more dreamy than a dream!

At this time, grandma said to me again: "When you didn't come back, I talked with your Aunt Luo for a long time, although grandma really wanted you and Xiao Ai's girl to have a good result, but I really couldn't bear to watch you suffer so much!" …… Grandma is not confused yet, I don't need others to tell me, I can imagine that you and Zhiqiang's (Lao Jin) family will really live your life when you marry Jin Qiu...... Because Zhiqiang's family has never treated you as an outsider, she also has the heart to marry you in Jinqiu, and she is a capable girl, so there are many things that can help you in the future! …… Originally, grandma couldn't make up her mind to tell you this, but when I saw Qin Miao today, my heart was settled. Look at how fierce she and Qiao Ye's bastard boy will be when they first get married, don't you live your life now! Therefore, as long as you are considerate and understand each other, feelings can be cultivated. ”

Speaking of this, grandma's eyes were already filled with cloudy tears. I know that for her, it is more painful to persuade me to give up Xiao Ai than for me to choose to give up Xiao Ai myself. However, she also realized that she could not wait any longer, and she longed for me to get the wedding done before she left this world.

My heart was very sad, because my grandmother, who had persevered to the end, also chose to persuade me to give up at this time. So, what kind of belief should I use to unilaterally support the seemingly impossible love between Xiao Ai and me?

……

This night, I didn't give my grandmother an affirmative answer, nor did I refuse. I was silent all night, until it was already dawn outside the window, and then I fell asleep in a daze.

When I woke up, it happened that Chen Yi was in the ward.

Over the years, she kept all the belongings I had saved in Nanjing, and she came today to send me a few sets of clothes to change.

When I took the handy bag from her hand, I didn't have time to say thank you, but I smelled the fragrance on the clothes, just like the feeling she had brought me over the years, and I was in a trance......

It wasn't until Jin Qiu and Luo Sumei also entered the ward together that I came back to my senses, and the two women, Jin Qiu and Chen Yi, stood in front of me at the same time, one was like a dream that I couldn't wake up, and the other was the sun in the real world, scorching hot!

...