I hunched over the somewhat cool iron railing, looking at the city that looked translucent in the sun, the cigarette in my hand was no longer smoked, and Jin Qiu had been standing by my side, she had not left, the sun was getting stronger and stronger during the time she was with her, but no matter what angle I looked at, it was a lost city in front of me, the wind was lost, the clouds were lost, and the streets were lost......

In the scorching sun, I was a little chilly, my head was swollen and painful, my palms were sweating, and then I coughed, and I felt that I was about to be unable to bear it under such huge psychological pressure.

I don't know how long I was silent, Jin Qiu asked me softly again: "Xiao Ai, how is she, when I passed by the ward just now, I saw that she slept quite peacefully, there shouldn't be any big problem, right?" “

I turned my back to the city below me, and whispered back, "I hope she's okay too, but she's not good at all, and her eyes can't see...... Jin Qiu, have you ever seen anyone whose eyes are as good as hers? …… No, there is no one in this world who looks better than her eyes! ”

Jin Qiu looked into the ward, her face changed, and she was shocked and surprised by such news, so much so that she asked me after a while, "Permanent blindness?" ”

"I don't know, anyway, the doctor said that he was not optimistic...... Speaking of this, I picked up the cigarette in my hand and took a hard breath, and then said to Jin Qiu: "I almost pressed the 2 million money you lent me to the musical instrument store on the first floor, and now the piano shop has been burned to slag, and all the investment has been ruined...... I don't have the ability to pay you back. However, my family's old house is about to be demolished, and I have signed a demolition compensation contract with Jinding Real Estate, I don't know how much a house can be worth, but that's all I can mortgage to you...... We can sign another agreement and when we get the house, it will be transferred to your name. ”

Jin Qiu didn't say a word about the loan, she looked a little silent, just like when it rained a few days ago, the clammy and cold air in Nanjing made people not be able to breathe smoothly when they approached her.

She looked at me, then pinned her messy hair behind her ear, and said to me with an indescribable complication, "Your life has become so bad, what are you going to do in the future?" ”

"I don't know...... Let it be, it won't be bad anyway. “

Jin Qiu nodded, she still looked at me with that expression, as if she was brewing something, and only said to me after a while: "In such a difficult time, do you especially hope that a family member can be by your side and share some mental pain for yourself?" …… Or, material repayment? “

I looked at Jin Qiu, and I didn't like her weird comfort so much, so I said to her: "For me, there is nothing more difficult in my life than the days after Zhao Chu died, at that time I was able to survive alone, and now I can do the same...... I don't have any other family members except my grandmother, they are not my family, don't mention them to me anymore, because it's useless to mention them, and I still have only myself in my life. “

Jin Qiu smiled bitterly, and she turned to look at the city below her. I also looked at it, except that the sun's aperture was beating, the whole world looked very quiet, but behind the quiet, there was a storm brewing that could destroy a qiē, but I was still very hard-mouthed, unwilling to talk about the pain of the qiē I was about to face, I seemed to be a little numb...... At this moment, I only hope that Xiao Ai is safe and sound, and nothing else matters.

……

At about 8 a.m., Xiao Ai was referred to the ophthalmology department for a more detailed examination and to determine the treatment plan. I stood alone outside the exam room and waited. Looking at the patient's family members in the corridor, I gradually felt how lonely I was in the city, so lonely that I had to take care of Xiao Ai, who was also lonely. We don't have a lot of friends and we don't have a whole family, and being able to be together is the happiest thing that makes us feel the happiest.

At this time, there was a rush of footsteps at the end of the corridor near the elevator entrance, and I turned my head to look at it and saw Yuan Zhen and Ji Xiaowei, as well as Yu Xin, who couldn't keep up with their footsteps.

They came to my side one after another, and the first to speak was Ji Xiaowei, who pushed me and asked me sharply: "Why is it like this, a good person follows you, why is it like this?" ……”

I can't put into words, I feel like it's redundant to explain it at the moment, and I understand their feelings better, because the pain of fear of loss, I've been suffering from since yesterday, and I know better than anyone how hard it is.

I didn't have time to avoid Ji Xiaowei's gaze, Yuan Zhen's clenched fists slammed into my face, I felt pain, and blood flowed down the corners of my mouth......

I didn't resist, I knew what was going to happen when we met before they came, and I was a sinner in the first place. If I am very capable, Xiao Ai would not have to teach Xiaofang in this way day and night for the reputation of the piano shop, let alone stoop to live in the piano shop.

It's all my fault!

Yu Xin excused me while blocking in front of me, preventing Ji Xiaowei and Yuan Zhen from any more radical behavior, and at this time, the doctor who examined Xiao Ai also walked out of the examination room, I shook off Ji Xiaowei, who was entangled with me, and almost rushed to the doctor's side and asked, "Doctor, how is my girlfriend...... Is it still possible to regain sight? ”

The doctor looked at me with a not very optimistic expression, and then said to me, "Her situation is no longer capable of being treated by our hospital...... I set up a hospital for you to transfer to because if you want to choose to perform surgery, you need more sophisticated medical equipment, but our hospital does not have such medical conditions now...... In addition, I would like to remind you that the risk of choosing surgery is still very high, and once it fails, there is really no possibility of regaining sight! ”

I chased after me and asked, "If you don't have surgery, what if you choose conservative treatment?" ”

"The chances of regaining vision will be very small, and it will even delay the optimal time for surgery...... Therefore, I personally recommend that you choose to have surgery...... If your family's economic conditions are good, you should go abroad, as the medical conditions abroad will be more secure than those in China. ”

I had a painful choice in my heart, but I ignored it at all, I was not qualified to make a decision for Xiao Ai as a family member, and it was Xiao Ai's biological mother Ruan Su who could really make this decision, and she would arrive soon.

I chased the doctor and asked, "How much will it cost if I go abroad for treatment?" "It's hard to say." "Can you give me an approximate range? So that I can be mentally prepared. “

The doctor looked at me and seemed to see that I did not have good financial conditions, so he sighed lightly and said to me: "Between 500,000 and 1 million, there is really no way to estimate this accurately!" Because there are too many intermediate variables, you should know more or less about medical things. “

After the doctor said this, he left, and I was left alone in the corridor to face Yuan Zhen and Ji Xiaowei, and I said to them: "If you choose to go abroad for treatment in the end, all the treatment costs will be borne by me, and I will cure her even if I am bankrupt." “

Ji Xiaowei looked at me, smiled disdainfully, and replied, "Are you the real two, or the fake two?" …… Mr. Xiao, Xiao Mingquan's daughter goes abroad for eye treatment, will she need a poor person like you to pay for medical expenses? …… She is stupid to willingly follow you to live this poor and insecure life...... Jiang Qiao, if you want to get acquainted, get out of her way quickly...... Because you can't give her anything but harm! “

My Adam's apple was squirming in pain, I was desperately clenching my hands to relieve this pain, I wanted to say something to justify myself, but the facts had already made it clear, I could only be silent, and Ji Xiaowei's words pierced my heart like a needle, and the needle was fatal.

At this time, Yu Xin whispered in my ear: "Brother Jiangqiao, it won't be long before Teacher Ruan will come, so you better go back first...... I'm afraid that when the time comes, it will be ugly in the hospital, and Xiao Ai will feel even more sad. If there's anything I need your help with, I'll call you as soon as possible......"

I didn't want to leave Xiao Ai for a single step, but I was more afraid that she would be hurt even more when she was already hurt, and she was even more hurt between me and Ruan Su, and after weighing it, I still nodded with difficulty.

It's really time for me to get out of the hospital, because there's a lot more to deal with after the fire.

……

I haven't slept all night, I'm so tired! But sitting in the rickety compartment of the bus, there is no way to fall asleep at all. I have so many things on my mind that I want to escape from this world immediately, but there is no place for me in such a big world, I have to make myself strong to face a qiē, and being strong is my last hope for survival!

When I got off the train and stood next to the platform, the smell of burning still lingered in the air, and across from me was the textile mill. At this moment, at the door, where there has been no major movement for more than ten years, a number of bulldozers have been parked, and the drivers are standing next to the bulldozers, smoking and chatting. This momentum, it seems that with just an order, this textile factory that has been held for decades can be wiped out in an instant.

I closed my eyes and breathed, no longer having the energy to take care of all this, and I numbly walked along the familiar path under my feet in the direction of the piano shop.

In the restless sunlight, behind me, a heavy motor roared suddenly, and then I heard the sound of the brick wall collapsing, just like my world...... My heart was fluttering, I was so desperate that I didn't know where my future was.

Is it like this textile mill, which has come to an end in the lapse of time and replaced by a brand new five-star wedding hotel?

Hehe, am I that lucky? How dare you compare with a textile mill!

I only see: over the years, I have been in helplessness, creating pain to the people around me, I am a person who is not popular with this world, I am completely desperate for myself, really desperate!