Professor Wu felt that he was dying, and a gangster came out of nowhere and sealed his anus with 505 glue, and his waste residue came out of his mouth with nowhere to excrete. Professor Wu staggered to the bathroom, stuck his head in the toilet, and made a will to his family while spitting: "Don't save me!" Let me die! Don't save me! Let me die! ”

There is only one family member, Professor Wu's wife, Yuan Shuai. The only daughter of the two, Wu Mimi, is married, bought another house, and lives in the neighborhood next door. Yuan Shuai is an amateur singer, likes to go to KTV to sing, is a loyal fan of Dedema, Cai Qin, and Teresa Teng, calling himself a mezzo-soprano, and boasting that he can sing a mezzo-soprano "vaguely like the sound of silk and bamboo, as if it is the taste of musk". Professor Wu, who is from the Chinese Department of the university, listened to his wife's boasting and wanted to kill her prestige, saying: "There is a talent who will go to see King Yan at the end of his life." The king of Hades occasionally let out a fart, and Xiucai, in order to please him, presented a "fart ode": "Gao Zhu Golden Palace, Hongxuan Baoqi, vaguely the sound of silk and bamboo, as if the taste of musk. The subordinate has the wind, and it is so fragrant. The king of Hades was overjoyed when he heard "Ode to Fart", so he rewarded his life for ten years, and sent the show back to the yang world. ”

Although Yuan Shuai is not talented, he is also a hobbyist. When she was admitted to university, the two of them could only take one exam, otherwise there would be no food, so she took the initiative to let Xian. Now, my husband has become a professor, he is nothing, and he is ridiculed for treating his fart as a song. For example, a woman has a mole, which is a stain, but she claims to be a beautiful mole, and the stain becomes a bright spot. Hades' fart is the same as a human fart, it must stink, and he is cleverly used by Xiucai, and he is a big sycophant, and if he lives for ten more years, his fart sound is more moving than his singing.

Yuan Shuai is dressing up at the moment, and he is going to catch up with a bureau, and a few old women go to KTV together. Hearing that there was an abnormality in the bathroom, I hurried over, and suddenly it was like watching the horror movie "Singing in the Middle of the Night", and I saw the grimace disfigured by sulfuric acid in the film. Professor Wu still kept willing: "Don't save me!" Let me die! Don't save me! Let me die! Yuan Shuai shook his hand like Parkinson's and dialed his son-in-law's phone.

The son-in-law has a small name and a big head, his head is as big as a fight, tall and mighty, and he calls himself a Korean-style beautiful man. These words made Professor Du in "You from the Star" angry when he heard it, they are genuine, and their heads are much smaller than their big heads.

The big head picked up the dying father-in-law and forced him to the back seat of his car. Yuan Shuai cooperated, and his huge body resisted her husband, preventing him from talking and moving. Big Head drove to the hospital as fast as he could.

Entering the hospital and taking the green channel, Professor Wu was disemboweled on the operating table on the same day. The doctor was helpless when he saw Professor Wu's broken belly, and the tumor in Professor Wu's stomach was like a pebble, full of flowers, and the doctor could not use the knife, so he could only sew the broken stomach again. Professor Wu was dizzy and experienced a caesarean section, but unfortunately did not give birth to the tumor of the group of thieves, the messenger of death. The doctor created a fistula for Professor Wu because Professor Wu's excretory system was occupied by the tumor and lost its function. The front door is closed, and the fan is open. At this point, Professor Wu retired from anal after decades of hard work. Professor Wu is alive, and he will ask for the feces and urine bag on the fistula. The doctor speculated that Professor Wu had three months to live, and there were so many thief bones in his stomach, how much nutrition did he put into it and not be stolen by it?

Yuan Shuai has time to recall the bits and pieces of her husband's recent years: his face is colorful, his tongue and lips are burnt, his head is dirty, his personality is obedient, he talks indifferently, his mouth spews foul smell, and he dances with him so as not to be stunned by his bad breath, and he has become a eunuch. As soon as he said that he should go to the hospital for a comprehensive examination, he stiffened his hair: "You curse me to death?" Why are you so ruthless, I wish I had died early! She was so frightened that she quickly shut up. It turned out that he raised a belly of demons, and only then did he become not like a human and a ghost. When he was young, the suave lover of Yushu was gone. Singing singing; "The most romantic thing is to grow old with you." Scare! Nonsense, he has no experience of growing old with others at all, and he sings lightly. How can it be the most romantic thing to get old and scared to death?

Yuan Shuai felt that her husband had become less human, but in fact, she was like two people compared to before. In the past, she was like clotted fat, slim and elegant, like Luo Fu in "Mo Shang Sang", with the charm of "the cultivator forgets his plow, and the hoe forgets his hoe". The years of this old witch have made her once small waist as thick as magic, and the whole person has become like a double-door refrigerator. Yuan Shuai also loves "the hero Lao Ti was brave back then", recalling how he was ashamed and closed back then. The young man looked at the behemoth in front of him, and felt that she was bewitching the crowd. Peers have naturally seen the real Buddha, and when they saw her dead soul looking at the hometown like a frequent banner, they all advised her to take good care of her life, and not let herself develop from a blue nose and swollen face to a hideous face.

There was such a big event in the family, and the only daughter of the two, Wu Mimi, flew back from a business trip. By this time, Professor Wu had been wheeled out of the operating room, still in a coma - the anesthetic was still there. Yuan Shuai was not in the hospital because he rushed home to pick up daily necessities. Wu Mimi and Datou both sat on chairs in the corridor outside the ward, thinking about their worries. Yuan Shuai entered the ward and saw her husband** lying with his eyes closed, hanging a feces and urine bag and hanging a bottle. Although the ward is fully heated, I am not afraid of freezing. But human beings are still alive to have human rights, and the first element of human rights is dignity. The hospital is really mean, as if it knows that cancer has made both men and women neutral, and the patient in the ward turned out to be a woman with breast cancer. If you don't wear clothes in front of the opposite sex, you lose your dignity and your human rights. This kind of mixed-gender ward style Yuan Shuai has never seen it all over the country, and I don't know if he learned it from foreigners. Yuan Shuai felt that it was really pitiful for people to have cancer, and they were going to die or live, and the hospital did not let the patients be different from men and women, so that a pair of men and women lay down side by side, and some of them were naked. From the perspective of the female patient, she thought to her, she was troublesome enough, she was tired enough to fight with death with all her might, and she also got a lot of people of the opposite sex to sleep on the side.

The daughter doesn't treat her father as a human either, she treats him like an ape. Wu Mimi's big head saw Yuan Shuai enter the ward, and she also followed up.

Yuan Shuai was resentful while helping her husband scrub his clothes, and he raised soldiers for a thousand days. The daughter who has been raised for more than 30 years can't really go to the front line to fight, and will only sit in the trenches in a daze. How does Lao Wu usually hurt her? The old couple's house was originally in the downtown area, and Lao Wu was arguing to sell it, so he moved to the neighborhood next door to Mimi and bought it again. It is a suburb, and there are many inconveniences in life, but Lao Wu is willing to rush to his daughter's house after class every day, and when they are old nannies, they pay money and time and energy. Burn them to eat, cook them to drink, and look at his grandson's dragon liver and phoenix marrow, as if he was old and had a son, and he loved him more than Mimi when he was a child, and he was perverted by relatives from generation to generation. The big head sometimes scolded his son, scolding Lao Wu so much that he wanted to beat him, but he didn't dare, he knew that he couldn't beat the big head. Lao Wu is not as good as Yuan Shuai, Yuan Shuai has fought with the big head for housework, and he has scratched the big head's face. The big head was afraid of breaking the appearance, so he turned his back to her, and she kicked the big head ass several times. After the battle, Big Head complained to Mimi, saying, "My lumbar disc was kicked and protruded by your mother." This was fed back by Mimi, and Yuan Shuai categorically denied it: "I kicked his ass, but I didn't kick his waist!" Could it be that he has a lumbar disc on his buttocks? ”

At this time, Professor Wu's younger siblings and Yuan Shuai's younger siblings arrived one after another, and even Yuan Shuai's eighty-year-old mother rushed to the hospital alone. Professor Wu's parents died early, and he couldn't cross the bridge, otherwise, he would definitely arrive as soon as possible.

Everyone lined up for shifts, Brother Wu and Brother Yuan Shuai were on duty for one day, and Sister Wu and Sister Yuan Shuai were on duty for one day. Mimi Datou has children at home and is in elementary school, although there are big head mothers who pick up and drop off every day, considering that young people are busy with work and do not arrange their shifts, they just come over after work to have a look. Although Yuan Shuai did not have a shift, she stayed in the hospital during the day, busy with this and that, and only went home in the dead of night to sleep for a few hours.

Yuan Shuai arrived home alone late at night, insomnia all night, and he was getting thinner and thinner day by day. The double-door refrigerator is going to open a single door. She used to be crazy about losing weight, and she tried all the weight loss products advertised by TV stars, but they didn't work at all. For a while, she was going to do "lipolysis", which is to inject drugs at acupuncture points to dissolve fat, and the drugs injected at acupuncture points are called "lipolysesis", because Lao Wu refused to pay tens of thousands of yuan, and reprimanded her: "What kind of fat to lose?" Yang Guifei is one hundred and thirty-eight pounds, and there is a fox smell, Emperor Tang Ming looks at it well, she is a beauty through the ages. ”

Yuan Shuai emphasized that she was fatter than Yang Guifei, with one hundred and sixteen. Professor Wu emphasized that by modern standards, beauties are all under 100 catties, she is 14, she is a standard fat woman, and you are 16, a standard fat woman. As long as I like it, it's not a problem. No matter how ugly you become, I won't say a word about you.

Yuan Shuai thinks about it, women are pleasing to themselves, and they always want to be thin. When you lose weight and become beautiful, who will show you beauty? Except for Lao Wu, who has time to watch! She didn't go for "lipolysis". Fortunately, she didn't go, but later she heard that someone did "lipolysis surgery" and ulcerated all over her body, so she also spent money and money to fight a lawsuit, only to understand that Lao Wu's stinginess was wise.

For a long time, the fat on her body was like gutter oil, accumulating over time, and unscrupulous traders refused to buy it. Her husband's illness was like a magical hand that pulled out the valve core on her fat body, making her suffocate quickly like an inflatable doll.

She didn't dare to go back to the bedroom, so she made a small bed in the living room to sleep. The wind is loud, the grass and trees are soldiers, and any slightest noise will startle a cold sweat, thinking that a ghost is coming. People are in the rivers and lakes, their hearts are hanging in the temple, and they always think about Lao Wu in the hospital. Thinking of Lao Wu, she had a pain of crying blood in her heart.

Lying in the living room of Nuoda, she thought of Simmons in the bedroom, a double bed that the couple had slept in for decades, carrying the couple's strong love. Now that her husband will leave her, she will always walk alone in the rest of her life. She felt fear, deep fear. She couldn't figure out why one spouse would have a strong fear when the other person left first, which was often not shared by those who shared the same bed. Yuan Shuai remembered that after his father died, his mother did not dare to stay alone in his father's dying room and sleep in the bed where his father slept on his deathbed. As a child, she dared to stay alone in her father's dying room and sleep in the bed where her father slept on his deathbed.