Facing Qiao Ye, who was waiting for my reply, my mood became complicated again, I remembered how he helped me when I was in trouble, and I couldn't refuse his request at this time. I looked out the window at the thousands of lights that had just come on. I fantasize that they are sunflowers waiting to bloom, and use a smile to drive away the excessive haze and too helpless choices in my heart.

The person who spoke first to break the silence was Jin Qiu, and she said to Qiao Ye: "Aunt Yang has not signed a construction contract with the construction company in Nantong yet, so there is still a lot of time, you also give Jiang Qiao a little space, let him think about it, such a choice is indeed quite difficult for him." ”

I looked up at Jin Qiu, I didn't like her look like she was sure of me, but she also gave me space, so I turned my head to look at the two of them and said: "I don't need time to think about it, you can't do this in this matter, first of all, I am not a shareholder of the hotel, and I have no right to make such a big choice for the hotel." I think the right thing to do is that Qiao Ye's company should take a good look at whether the funds for the construction of the hotel are abundant, and whether there will be a rupture of funds in the later stage, after all, there are so many unfinished projects now! ”

My reply was beyond Qiao Ye and Jin Qiu's expectations, the two looked at me with the same gaze, and after a while, Qiao Ye said to me: "Jiang Qiao, do you think it is appropriate for you to give me such an answer?" In fact, you know this better than anyone else, the key is not in our company, that is, your mother wants to take this opportunity to give both of you a step, but you always don't appreciate it, and you think that others are persecuting you, I really fucking suspect that you have persecution paranoia! ”

"What the fuck ******!"

"There's no way I can reason with someone like you...... You're just selfish, this is a big project of 800 million, do you know how many people will be given jobs if our company can take it down? Yes, you would say that other companies take it down, and it's the same. But Jiangqiao, you really don't understand me enough, since I replaced Qin Miao to take over the company, I am determined to build the company into a conscientious enterprise, I boldly used new people under the pressure of shareholders, and also recruited a lot of fresh graduates from architecture colleges across the country whose family conditions are not good, but in my opinion are very creative but have no opportunities. When I bring them to the company, I want to give them a stage to show their strengths, but only if I have the ability to introduce and carry a project myself...... Now, seeing that the opportunity is in my hands, but because of your bullshit choice, I feel like I can't grasp it, do you know how anxious this feeling is? ”

I was a little out of breath in Qiao Ye's righteous and awe-inspiring expression. I'm already scared of life and don't want to have any contact with anyone anymore, but Qiao Ye just buttoned such a big hat on my head, like a shackle.

His motives are not wrong, and they can even be said to be great, but am I wrong? I just want to live alone, it doesn't matter how lonely I am, but I really don't want to be disturbed anymore.

I put down my glass and turned away from the place. As for Qiao Ye, if he wants to hate me, hate me. I can't control too much, and I can't afford the righteousness he has imposed on me.

……

Back at the hospital, I went to the ward on the fifth floor to see Chang Duo, who had already been admitted to the hospital with the help of Chen Yi.

After I was pestered by Chang Duo and told a few stories, I called Chang Lin to the outside of the ward, and then took out 20,000 yuan from my bag and handed it to him. The money was taken from the card that Chen Yi gave me on the way back, and she told me the password, which was actually made up of my birthday number.

"What are you doing here, Jiang Qiao?"

Chang Lin didn't reach out to pick it up, I put the money in his hand again and said, "Chang Duo, this child, I watched her grow up since she was a child. At this time, I, as an uncle, can't stand idly by, I can't take out more money, you can take 20,000 yuan to the emergency, the treatment of this disease is quite expensive! ”

"I really don't need to, Qiao Ye came here this afternoon, he brought me 100,000 yuan, and he called him again if he said it wasn't enough...... also specially told that if Jiang Qiao sent money over, you must not accept it, because it is not easy for you, and Chang Duo's affairs are also entrusted to Chen Yi to help, not to invite your mother...... So I really don't want to go...... Being a brother makes you embarrassed! ”

I patted him on the shoulder and said to him with a reassuring smile: "Don't take it to heart, the top priority is to cure Chang Duo's illness, and the days ahead are still long, aren't they?" …… We all have to do our best to live and not let ourselves have any regrets. ”

I said and shoved the money into his hand, and then said, "I gave it secretly", and Chang Lin accepted it. And at this moment, I suddenly figured out a lot of things.

Qiao Ye and I are not bad people in other people's mouths, we just choose different lifestyles in the way of life that will inevitably occur in this society, we all care about our brothers, and we are willing to help some people who are suffering, but at this stage he becomes eager for success and recognition, and at this stage I am a little depressed, a little bit in the intricacies of the road can not find the right way out.

……

After saying goodbye to Chang Lin, I went to my grandmother's hospital room again. At this time, Yang Jin had already left, and there was only one recently hired caretaker with her grandmother, who was washing her grandmother's clothes in the bathroom.

I sat down next to my grandmother and asked her, "Grandma, if you want to eat something more, I'll go down and buy it for you." ”

Grandma shook her head, then took my hand and said to me: "Qiao, I talked a lot with your mother when you were away just now, and I told her what kind of character you are, don't force you with your own business, it won't work for you, and it will make your life uncomfortable...... In the same way, grandma has something to say to you......" Grandma paused, she held my hand tighter, and then said: "Qiao, you also have to remember that no matter what your mother did wrong, she was always the one who conceived and gave birth to you in October, and she should be the closest person in the world for you...... You can be angry with her now, and you can not forgive her, but after a while, grandma still hopes that you can settle your old suspicions with her...... Grandma doesn't care about her being able to let you live a rich life, she just wants that when you suffer in the future, there is someone around you who can block for you, grandma is afraid that you will die hard in the future! ”

I felt uncomfortable and pleaded, "Grandma, don't we talk about the future, okay?" ”

Grandma patted my hand, and then closed her eyes, she was tired, but there were too many worries in her heart, such as Jiang Jiyou, now that Yang Jin is back, but there is still no news of him, he is the person who can't let go of grandma's heart.

After a while, my grandmother opened her eyes again and whispered to me, "Qiao, if your grandmother is not there in the future, but your father and he come back, you can tell him a few words for your grandmother." You tell him that over the years, grandma has never held a grudge against him, and I hope he can come to my grave and your grandfather's grave to pay respects, let us know that he is still alive, and forget the regret in our hearts. ”

I held my grandmother's hand tighter, and there were thousands of emotions rushing in my heart, like a desolate north wind blowing into the reeds, and the lonely window reflected the light of a red candle.

I imagined myself as Jiang Jiyou, but I couldn't figure out how he had lived all these years, didn't he have loneliness in his world, and he didn't need warmth? And why did he have to follow Yang Jin back then, if he stayed in Nanjing to change his mind, even if he re-established a family, it would not bring so much pain to so many people!

For the first time, I wanted to talk to Yang Jin, I wanted to know if Jiang Jiyou had found her in the past few years, I didn't want Jiang Jiyou to live in my and my grandmother's hearts like a fan, and then become the object of my hatred and grandma's concern...... It's time for him to come back and see his poor old mother! ”

……

When my grandmother had gone to bed and rested, I left the ward, and then found a cheap little hotel near the hospital, my room was on the first floor a little damp, the door number and the walls were white, and the area at the head of the bed was filled with inspirational words written by the former resident with a black pen, and I was lying on the bed smoking a cigarette......

My bed was very close to the window, so I could see the lights outside the window, like the sun after a rainy day, and I actually got a long-lost sense of security in this closed room of less than 20 square meters.

I turned the temperature of the air conditioner to the lowest with enthusiasm, and then covered it with a heavy quilt, as if she was lying next to me, we ate an apple and watched a ball game, whether it was sunny or rainy outside the window, and the soft light always reflected our smiling faces.

Thinking of this, I laughed to myself, and then looked at the unfinished cigarette in my hand for a moment, until the cell phone signal light lit up on my right hand, and I suddenly returned to reality.

I finished the last puff of my cigarette and picked up the phone, and this caller number surprised me a little because it was Qin Miao calling. As far back as I can remember, we haven't been on the phone since what happened to her.

I answered the phone and said to her, "I can't believe you're calling me!" ”

"So much has happened to you during this time, I should have called you a long time ago, it's that I'm not acting like a friend."

I smiled and replied, "It's not too late to fight, I just need someone to talk to, and I feel like I'm about to be suffocated by those suppressed emotions." ”

"I'll go to Shanghai tomorrow to see your grandma, we'll talk about your affairs slowly tomorrow, if you want to drink, I can also accompany you to drink enough." However, I just want to talk about Su Han and the child on this phone call today. ”

I was stunned for a moment, only to realize that Qiao Ye had already told Qin Miao about Su Han leaving with the child.

After a few moments, I replied, "What do you want to ask?" ”

"I just want you to confirm with me, did Su Han really leave Nanjing with her child?"

"I can confirm it, because I really saw the ultrasound single that showed her pregnancy, she said that she would give birth to this child, and then raise it well, and then completely lost contact with her, as for whether she left this child or not, I can't guarantee it!"

Qin Miao on the other end of the phone said with certainty: "As long as it is not a natural disaster**, she will definitely stay." ”

"And what's your attitude now?"

Maybe before calling me, Qin Miao had already made a plan after weighing the pros and cons, so she replied without a trace of hesitation: "I will soon leave to find Su Han, and then bring this child back to Nanjing to raise it with Qiao Ye." ”

"Have you ever thought that this is unfair to Su Han, and even more unfair to yourself?"

"Now I can't care about any fairness or unfairness, I don't want Qiao Ye's life to have shortcomings...... A lot of things, I also figured out during this time, no one can live perfectly in this world, although I lost my fertility in the last car accident, but Qiao Ye gave me more love because of this, and also carried the whole group for me, so that I don't have to live in the double anxiety of career and life every day. That's what we often say, there are gains and losses, right? Instead of complaining, I have to learn to cherish what I have now...... As for Su Han, it is not necessarily a bad thing for her that we take this child away. Because we will give this child a rightful identity, and she will be free again. As long as she doesn't say it herself, no one knows that she has ever had a child, she can completely forget yesterday, and then choose to live again, choosing to fall in love with another man other than Qiao Ye...... If she had to live with that child, you can imagine what kind of pressure she would face. ”

I always felt that Qin Miao's point of view made me feel awkward, but I couldn't refute it, and in the end I just sighed lightly, and then said good night to her. In fact, from the moment I decided to tell Qiao Ye the news, I had a hunch that it would be such an ending. The only suspense now is whether Qin Miao can successfully find Su Han, who has the intention to avoid them.

……

The next morning, I went to the hospital to bring my grandmother a breakfast, and after walking around the hospital square for a while, I took the guitar Xiao Ai gave me to the "One Lantern Piano Shop" to learn the first guitar lesson in my life.

That's how I got to know my teacher, the owner of the piano shop, the man who called himself Liu Liu. I don't know if it's a fateful arrangement or a perverted coincidence, I actually saw a group photo of him and Yuan Zhen and Ji Xiaowei in the classroom where he taught the piano.

After inquiry, I learned that he used to study at Nanjing University of the Arts, but was expelled from the school for stealing a guitar that was worth a lot of money.

It was one of the most candid people I've ever met in my life, because he didn't just tell me he had ever stolen a guitar. He also told me that he had a problem with his own character. Otherwise, he would have become a self-employed musician who can be compared to Yuan Zhen!

...