After Yang Jin said this, he turned his eyes all on me, and I saw a heartfelt longing, this kind of longing is not at all like what a mother will have when facing her son, this kind of longing has gone beyond human nature, and is more above human nature. And at this moment, I can't articulate my truest feelings. But I didn't avoid her gaze.

I finally asked her, "Why do you say such extreme things?" You are still young, there is no need to think so far in the extreme direction of life, and Yang Qu is not as pampered as you think...... I think she's a girl who can take responsibility for her future. ”

Yang Jin looked at me for a while, then shifted his gaze to look at me, and then shook his head for a while, signaling that he didn't want to talk anymore, and almost at the same time, Yang Qu also appeared in front of us with a dozen beers, and then asked us with a smile: "Mom, brother, what are you talking about?" ”

Yang Jin looked at her with a complicated gaze again, but with rich life experience, she instantly covered up those emotions that could make people see that there was a problem. She smiled first, and then said to Yang Qu in a reproachful tone: "Why did it take so long for you to buy a wine, if it weren't for the summer, your brother would have to heat up the dish again." ”

Yang Quting replied aggrievedly: "The small store near here doesn't have the beer I want to drink, so I went to the newly opened supermarket over there to buy it, and when I checked out, there was a long queue." ”

Yang Qu said as he arranged the wine he bought neatly on our dinner table, and then fanned his face with his hand, looking like an innocent girl. Perhaps, this is what she is in her bones, so Yang Jin is especially worried about her.

After Yang Jin sat down again, I looked at her again, and suddenly a bad feeling surged in my heart. I'm not stupid, I know that she is extremely strong in her heart, and she will not say these things to me casually.

During the meal, Yang Jin kept giving Yang Qu vegetables, saying that she had lost weight. But Yang Qu wanted to drink beer more. She said that in school, especially for those who are studying acting, the school will strictly control the diet, so when you have the opportunity to eat with your family, in addition to eating enough, you must also drink enough beer...... From this point of view, she is indeed not a girl who follows the rules, and her body is somewhat tainted with some charlatans, but I don't know if this is her innate or acquired.

Yang Qu only cared about eating and drinking, and there were too many things between me and Yang Jin that couldn't be said in front of her, so the atmosphere at the dinner table was always cold......

Yang Qu, who noticed the abnormality, finally put down the chopsticks and began to enliven the atmosphere, she said to me: "Brother, I am about to graduate and enter the society, you can talk to me about your views on this society, I especially want you to be my first teacher after entering the society...... Because I admire you very much, I admire you for all these years of living alone, and I have also provided for Zhao Mu to finish college! ”

After Yang Qu said this, Yang Jin, who had been silent, also looked at me, and some guilt welled up on her face. So, I didn't want to talk about the lonely and helpless past I encountered, but said to her: "Tell me a little story about my own encounter, which may inspire you a little." ”

Yang Qu made a deferential look, and my mind returned to that winter night a long time ago......

I went back through the fragmented images in my head before I said, "It happened about seven years ago. At that time, I was just doing some miscellaneous things at Lao Jin's wedding company. I remember that it was a night before New Year's Day, many people got married, and I followed the master to the hotel to set up the stage for the wedding, and I was busy until more than ten o'clock in the night...... By the time I walked out of the hotel, I was barely frozen, but I didn't want to go home at all, so I was just hanging out on 1912 Bar Street. I can't say what mood I was in at the time, I felt quite confused, because at that time I had been working in Lao Jin's company for almost two years, and I especially wanted to do the work of wedding planning, after all, such things as miscellaneous work cannot be done for a lifetime, and if I do planning, the salary will be much higher, so that I will have less pressure for Zhao Mu to go to school...... As I walked, I saw an old man cowering under a street lamp selling roasted potatoes. I asked him why he didn't go back so late, and he said that people on this street don't come out of the bar until 12 o'clock, and business is the best at that time, because people who drink high are generous, and there is no chengguan control at this night, so he doesn't have to hide in Tibet like he did during the day...... I asked him again, you are so old, you can't enjoy yourself at home, why do you still come out to sell roasted potatoes at night? …… He said that there was no way, he had to make money, he had a son and a daughter at home, and they were all married. However, the son, daughter-in-law, and daughter were all laid off, and the only son-in-law who was not laid off had cerebral atrophy and had been lying at home for more than a year...... I said, didn't you report your situation to the government? He said that now is a self-reliant society, and if the country wants to develop, it can't take care of these people, and there are only so many things that can be subsidized, and it won't help them much......

Speaking of this, I stopped, and then looked at Yang Qu's expression, except for a little sympathy for the old man, she didn't see much reflection. So, I said, "That night, I talked with him until twelve o'clock in the night, until no one came out of the bar again, and I spent twenty yuan to buy all the potatoes he had left...... However, did you know that outside the brightly lit bar, there are red Ferraris, white BMWs, and black Mercedes-Benz...... There are also stalls selling wontons, fruits, and beggars with their hands stretched out waiting for money. That's our city, at midnight! …… I don't know how many times I've sat at the end of the bar street, but I've never felt so much like that time, why can someone in our country drive a Mercedes-Benz, a BMW, can do this and that, but can't let a seventy-year-old man not sell roasted potatoes on the street at night and a little bit? …… Is there really nothing we can do? ”

Speaking of which, I was a little emotional, because this was the most real society I had seen at the bottom of the society at that time.

Yang Qu was silent for a long time before replying: "Brother, do you want to tell me that the most real society is like that?" ”

I shook my head heavily and said, "What I want to tell you most is not what this society is like...... I want you to remember what the old man said, and you have to learn to be self-reliant no matter what time comes...... Your starting point in life is very high, but no one's life is smooth sailing. So, you have to have the courage to face life, whether it's a good life or a bad life, it's a part of your life...... Just like that old man, his life has been miserable like that, but he still keeps creating, although this creation seems insignificant to others, but it is an attitude to life that does not want to fall. ”

This time, Yang Qu replied arrogantly: "Brother, is your spirit of being prepared for danger in times of peace a little too much?" …… Although I also sympathize with those at the bottom of society, with my mother, I will never live that kind of life. Plan for the worst, even if our mother doesn't want me one day, won't there be a brother like you? ”

My heart was low for a while, and then I shifted my gaze to look at Yang Qu, only to realize that the person who really understood Yang Qu was Yang Jin, not me, a halfway brother! Although she may have the ability, this ability is only reflected in a smooth life, and once life encounters setbacks, the first thing to be destroyed must be her flower living in the greenhouse.

……

After dinner, it was already nine o'clock, Yang Jin went back to the hotel first, and I stayed with the drunk Yang Qu. I made her a cup of tea to cure hangover, and then lit myself a cigarette.

Yang Qu absentmindedly held the teacup and said to me: "Brother, why are you leaving me behind, can't you say anything quickly?" ”

"Yoja has fallen?"

Yang Qu squinted his eyes and smiled, which was a tacit acquiescence. She really didn't want to be a person who likes to keep secrets in front of my brother.

I don't know why, looking at her appearance, I think of Xiao Ai a few years ago. They are facing graduation the same, they are the same beautiful and moving, they are the same to study art, they are the same from illustrious families, and they are full of enthusiasm for love...... Xiao Ai is mature, but these things that happened to her, can Yang Qu bear them when they are changed to Yang Qu?

"Brother, you're talking."

I came back to my senses and asked her, "Have you noticed anything abnormal about your mother recently?" ”

"No, she's so busy working all day, and I don't have much contact with her. And since I went to school in Shanghai, it's good to see her once every two months. ”

I nodded, and then recalled in my mind what Yang Jin had just said to me, and after a while, I asked Yang Qu again, "Do you know the contact information of the driver next to my mother?" ”

"Uncle Chang, you say?"

"Are there other drivers?"

"There's another one over there in Shenzhen, but I don't usually go on business trips with my mother, but when I'm in Shenzhen, he is responsible for picking me up and dropping me off from school, which driver's number do you want?"

I thought for a moment and then replied, "Just Uncle Chang's." ”

Yang Qu gave me his mobile phone number, and asked suspiciously, "Why did you suddenly ask for the driver's number?" ”

"If you can have it, I can have it too, maybe when I can use it in the future."

After speaking, I was afraid that Yang Qu would still ask, so I changed the topic and said: "Hurry up and find Jia Luo, I feel like a good young man, don't let him wait for a long time." ”

Yang Qu smiled happily and replied: "It's good that you can recognize him, we may not know how to trouble you in the future!" ”

After saying this, Yang Qu took his bag and left Xiao Ai's residence. After she left, I turned on all the lights in the yard that could be turned on, and the dreamy feeling was created...... I'm waiting for Xiao Ai to come back, but in my heart I don't mind that she didn't show up at tonight's dinner, and it is precisely because she is not there that I can talk to Yang Jin so much.

While waiting, I called Yang Jin's driver often, my heart was a little depressed, like a sunflower that could not bloom for a long time, I was afraid of the dark, and what I was waiting for was not very good news.

When the phone was finally connected, Chang Chang's voice was slightly hoarse and asked me, "Hey, who are you?" ”

"Uncle Chang, I'm Jiang Qiao, it's a bit presumptuous to call you suddenly, but I do have something in my heart that I want to ask you."

Lao Chang was stunned for a long time before he replied: "Say, what is the matter?" ”

"I just wanted to ask my mom about it...... During dinner today, I chatted with her for a while, and I felt that she was not in a particularly good state, and she said some very negative things to me. I know she's not one to show her emotions easily, so something must be wrong with her...... I think it's more reliable to ask you than anyone else, because I feel like she trusts you. ”

The old man on the other end of the phone muttered for a long time...... I was even more sure that he knew some inside information, so I said: "Uncle Chang, I think that my mother's biggest heart problem in this life is me." But my attitude now is very clear, I want to improve the relationship between our mother and son, so if you know some of the hardships she can't speak, be sure to tell me that I, as her son, as long as it is not at the expense of love, I am willing to do everything in my power to share it for her. ”

I felt his grief in this sigh, and he finally whispered back, "I do know something...... There's a lot wrong with your mom's body. During the time you were abroad, she had an annual routine check-up, which I sent her to the hospital. The results of the examination were not very good, it was breast cancer ......"

When I heard the word cancer, my scalp suddenly tingled, and then I felt like five thunderbolts, because my grandmother had cancer.

Lao Chang comforted: "Jiang Qiao, you listen to me finish speaking...... I know your grandmother died of cancer, but she is dying, and how many of the elderly people today are not suffering from cancer? …… Moreover, your mother's situation is far from being as bad as you think, because she has two physical examinations every year, so it is still early when she is discovered, so as long as she cooperates well with the treatment and reduces the pressure on work and family, the possibility of being cured is still very high...... The key is to look at her own mentality. ”

I was silent, and then gradually calmed myself, and I knew that breast cancer was indeed one of the most curable cancers, and it was detected early, so the situation was not as bad as I subconsciously thought.

At this time, Lao Chang said to me in a heartfelt tone: "Jiang Qiao, I'm an outsider, maybe I shouldn't say so much." However, I still have some say in the matter of your mother, because over the years, I have been following her around, and I know better than anyone else about her work and life...... I had already advised her not to put too much pressure on herself and to have a regular schedule, but she just wouldn't listen. In her long-term depressed and long-term tired state, it's no wonder that there is no problem with her body,......" said that Lao Chang paused, and then said: "Maybe you don't know, I am not only your mother's driver, but also her old classmate, if I always come to evaluate her, she is really a good woman, and she is also a woman with a hard life." I really hope you can be a little more considerate of her, she has suffered no less than you over the years...... In addition to being perfunctory to herself, she has done her best to others, she couldn't have done better! ”