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I suddenly hated myself a little, hated myself for being so indecisive, taking my own infirmity, using my own vulnerability to test everyone. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info

The moment Gao Ru was hugged by me, I felt her breathing short, and I could even hear her pounding heartbeat. Only her face was still so indifferent, so I hugged her for about 20 seconds, and my heart wandered for more than 20 seconds, I don't know what to do?

When I was in a dilemma, Gao Ru gently broke away from me. In fact, with my strength, if I had a heart, she would not be able to break free. But when Gao Ru struggled outward, my arm naturally loosened.

I remembered the nursery rhyme, she made it impossible for me to hold Gao Ru anymore.

Gao Ru broke away from me, got up and took two steps back, and hurriedly wiped away her tears. In a trance, I seemed to hear her sigh, and then she turned around and walked in the direction of the exit.

I cleaned up the loneliness I had fallen into because I didn't insist, followed Gao Ru's back, and walked out of the cinema one after the other.

In the hustle and bustle of the streets, we were silent with each other, and the boring film did not bring us a topic to discuss. So, in a depressing atmosphere, we slowly walked on a road with no end in sight......

The trees in the streets have been baptized in autumn, and only sparse leaves remain, and they are no longer able to withstand the tiger-like north wind. I wrapped myself in a windbreaker and looked at Gao Ru, who was thin and trembling, stopped her, and said, "Find a shop to rest before leaving!" ”

Gao Ru stopped, combed her hair, pinned it behind her ear, and still responded to me with the cleanest smile, as silently as before, and walked towards the mall.

……

We walked slowly in the mall, and I thought that Gao Ru might find a bubble tea shop to sit down and have a cup of milk tea to warm up, but she seemed to be looking for something in the mall area. I liked this moment of peace and freedom, so I patiently walked with her.

But the more I walked around, the more I felt that this mall had an inexplicable sense of familiarity to me.

"Hu Kai!"

A familiar voice stopped me.

I looked back and saw where the sound was coming from.

"Why do you come to the mall alone?"

I looked at Gao Ru, who had stopped with me not far away, and I really didn't think there was anything wrong with what she was asking, because the distance we kept made it seem like two strangers to outsiders.

"Remember me? In high school, you will be in the next class, and last time Mr. Sun took you to our Dior counter. ”

I nodded, motioning to remember.

"Mr. Sun hasn't been here for a while, and I can't get through to her, has she been busy lately?"

I tried to hide all the memories of Sun Mengwen, as if this sentence pierced all the thick barriers and went straight to my heart. So, all in my mind was the picture of Sun Mengwen unscrupulously holding my arm, taking me to the Dior counter, instructing the counter lady, and bringing me all kinds of men's perfume and perfume paper for me to experience.

Is this a difficult question to answer? Are you all together now? ”

I pretended to be careless and looked at the other place, only to find that Gao Ru was looking at me with the same expectant eyes.

Without waiting for me to speak, the teller immediately smiled and said, "Forget it, don't ask, do you want to buy something today?" ”

I felt like I was speechless, and I didn't say a word the whole time. If I had a choice, I would rather not have been to this place of contradictions, because I feel that I have lived a contradictory life, for me, every shop and every exit here seems to have the fragrance of Sun Mengwen and all her kindness to me. I couldn't afford, or even choose, all the cruel rejection that was so cruel to her......

Therefore, in the days when I was separated from Sun Mengwen, I never chose to come here for a walk, but now I have revisited my old place by mistake, which is somewhat ironic of my past behavior. is like a clown who can't find a fig leaf, in the face of these heart-wrenching melancholy, he longs to find the power to break out of the cocoon and be reborn in the extremes of things. But the reality tells me that it doesn't seem to be.

……

After the teller left in embarrassment, I looked at Gao Ru, who was sitting not far away, and suddenly disappeared.

During this special period, I didn't know if Gao Guo would have another incident, so in a nervous situation, I picked up my phone and sent her a message.

She quickly replied to me, and she was at the cash register not far behind me.

I turned around and looked for her, only to find her carrying a few cans of beer waiting to pay, and I was relieved.

I took my phone out of my pocket again and sent her a message, asking, "I'm scared to make decisions because I'm afraid that every decision I make will hurt someone else." ”

After sending the message, I pretended to look into the distance, but I didn't expect Gao Ru to reply to my message, because, at this time, she had already applied her usual indifference to our love, which was a white lie, so she wouldn't say anything more like me.

In boredom, I swiped up our WeChat chat records, those chat records we had before are still there, these words and voices, recorded the simple beauty we once had, encouraging each other to get through the difficult days, and now?

What do we give to each other in the heartbreak?

Thinking about it at this time, this terrible today is completely due to yesterday's heartbeat, if the heart is not moving at that time, it will not hurt at this time!

……

After Gao Ru finished the settlement, she walked towards me with a plastic bag, she understood me very well, and at the moment I needed a drink to water my open wound.

I took a can of beer from the bag and was about to tear it open, but was stopped by Gao Ru, who said, "Let's change places!" ”

"It's good!" With that, I put the beer back in the bag and followed Gao Ru to the exit.

……

The taxi stopped next to an empty abandoned factory, and the driver, with an inexplicable horror, took the money and drove away.

This abandoned factory is located at the junction of urban and rural areas, deserted and empty, and I am a little surprised that there is such a place so far away from the hustle and bustle in the urban area of Guangzhou, where every inch of land is at a premium.

We sat down on a slightly cleaner basketball court, and the sun at four or five o'clock in the afternoon didn't give us substantial warmth.

Taking the beer that Gao Ru handed me, I tore open a can and took a sip with my head up, the cold liquid flowing down my throat and into my body. As a result, my whole body instantly seemed to be pierced by a cold wind, and I became floating. But this temporary paralysis seems to be a bit addictive, and I am a little obsessed with this pleasure, so I subconsciously took another sip.

After drinking a can of beer, Gao Ru handed over another can at the right time, and tore open a can for himself.

"Your throat is just right, don't be too irritating with this cold, too irritating your throat."

"But I really can't take care of my voice now, I want to get drunk for a while!"

"After losing, you should know how to cherish it."

Gao Ru stared at a withered landscape tree not far away, and said in a low voice: "You gave me the courage to speak again, I listen to you." ”

"Are you still struggling?"

She fiddled with her bangs with her fingers, not wanting me to see her crying red and swollen eyes, and said to me, "I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong, and under American law, she could be sentenced to life in prison." ”

I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say, so I had to be silent. In this deserted factory, everything seems to be nothing, only me and Gao Ru are relatively real, I subconsciously took out a cigarette and lit it, and accompanied her to cry silently......

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