As a very aristocratic habit, the chef could rest in a ashram and wait for the call.

This is a forced behavior, at least in Wang Jian's era, and only a few private chefs and chefs have treatment, the reason is very simple, money.

For the wealthy, they are willing to spend huge sums of money to show that they are different from others, including giving their dogs a few hundred yuan a bottle of mineral water, and giving chefs a high salary, letting them wear formal thank-you gifts, and brushing up their own forced style, but it is the common choice of the broad and young people in the East and the West, in fact, the money burns more.

Wang Jian sat there, but said to Xuanyuan Mingyue, who was dressed as a maid: "Actually, I'm very worried about you. ”

"You might as well worry about yourself, if you fall into my father's hands, he won't mind cutting off all the flesh off your body, he'll kill you. ”

"Come on, son-in-law and father-in-law, how can there be any enmity, it's still that problem, I have common interests with your father, and it falls into his hands, it's a big deal for me to give him a benefit that he can't refuse, it's not difficult to buy him. ”

Xuanyuan Mingyue's face was darkening, she seemed to know that what the man in front of her said was good, once something happened, her father really did something that was in cahoots with the man in front of her.

"Don't look at me with this kind of eyes, once the child is born, I have a common point of interest with him, that is, to be good for this child, although with your ability to give birth to children in a litter, it may not be very good, but this is an opportunity, I mean, your real crisis is your people, who may not be able to resist our sugar-coated shells." ”

"Jokes. ”

"Well, it seems that your people, even if they are gentlemen, enjoy things that are not as good as the civilians on the earth, let alone eat, I vomited after eating stew for three days, you have to eat for a lifetime, but what, your heart to pursue enjoyment is hidden in the bottom of your heart, how to say that sentence, the old house is on fire quickly. ”

Try to set yourself a task like this: don't think about a polar bear, and you'll find that every second of the moment, that polar bear will come to mind.

If you suppress your emotions for a long time, if you suppress sadness and sadness, it is easy to lead to a low mood, that is, depression; if you suppress anger, you will become cold and fierce, and you will have violent impulses; if you suppress fear and fear, you will easily become sensitive and insecure. Emotions are an energy, only venting will make it flow and release from your heart, if you blindly suppress it, it is easy to cause emotions to be fixed in the body, which will not only affect the personality, but also lead to physical diseases. If you suppress your needs for a long time and don't dare to fight for what you deserve, you will become unconfident and easily doubt yourself. People need to meet physiological needs, need a sense of security, need love, need companionship, need self-realization, need aesthetics, if these needs are suppressed for a long time, people are easy to lose their sense of existence, lose the meaning of life, it will be very hard. Suppressing one's own opinions for a long time and not being able to express them comfortably will affect interpersonal relationships, leading to loneliness and lack of support systems. In short, in a depressive environment, people cannot grow freely, their vitality is completely ossified, and their energy is stagnant, which has a bad impact on physical and mental health and social functioning.

The principle of action and reaction tells us that the result of suppression is rebound. Although you may seem to suppress your desires today, one day you will be surprised when you explode. The first is to know that desires, which arise from the mind and also from the mind, arise only by the combination of many causes and conditions, and trace their origin to emptiness, so they do not take it.

The second is to face up to the existence of desire, eating men and women, and people's great desires. But endless desires only lead to suffering, so be content with less desires and turn desires into motivation to do good deeds.

It is never possible for people to achieve abstinence, and some only rely on a larger desire to suppress a smaller desire. Can religious followers really cultivate to the point where they have no desires or desires? In fact, they are all deceiving themselves and others. Isn't the hope of going to heaven, of eternal life, of being enlightened and enlightened? Religion only teaches people to pursue a higher and more difficult desire in place of ordinary desires, that is, to draw a big pie and teach people to give up the small pie on the side of their mouths, and the development of religion is also the process of painting a pie getting bigger and bigger. But religion later denied the basis on which religion depends, that is, the desire to live, which caused many tragedies. It is often said that someone's realm is lofty, but in essence, the person has set a high ceiling on his own desires. Because the more knowledge you have, the more and better you can know what things can bring more and greater happiness, and you will know that desire is not only wet and round, but also poetry and distance. And the reason why poetry and distance are worth pursuing is because it will be better and happier, it is a desire that is more worthy of being realized, and some other desires can be given up for it. Desire is a good thing, and life lies in desire. This world is beautiful and worth fighting for.

It is necessary to properly dissect oneself (desires), and it is also necessary to respect and face desires and reality. In the world, few people can live happily and purely without doubting themselves and their own desires, especially when they are suffering from life and desires, and when they can't do whatever they want, then we will doubt life and deny ourselves, and we will be entangled and confused, cynical, helpless, and misanthropic. Many people unconsciously suppress their desires, because of insecurity or other reasons, do not pursue their own desires and the happiness that life should have, and as a result, they mistakenly think that they are indifferent to fame and fortune, let go of fate, and see through everything. In fact, this is also a misunderstanding of the relationship between oneself and desire, and it is easy to be swallowed by desire. Although it is understood from common sense, people's indulgence, eating, drinking, prostitution and gambling, and rightly chasing money, power, appearance, sex, sex, and individualism are the manifestations of being devoured by desire. But empty-eyed, drifting with the crowd, it doesn't matter who you love with the crowd, in fact, it is another representative of controlling desires and being swallowed by desires. Reasonable control is the best, but it is not easy to do, according to the degree of adaptation and perception of everything, the amount of fitness, the amount of action, and the action, that is, as the saying goes, to put away freely, but it is not easy to do.

Not rigid restraint, but natural restraint. People who are physically and mentally healthy will naturally adjust their desire level according to their own needs, objective conditions, and the feelings of others. Healthy people are also more resilient when they encounter setbacks brought about by objective conditions. For example, in the face of evil and injustice, there will be appropriate anger, but not in a biased way. In the face of the misfortune of fate, you will feel depressed, but you will not really be defeated. The so-called happiness is not lewd, sorrow is not sad. A person who is in good health, to the extent that he has eaten to the fullest, is naturally reluctant to eat anymore. If a person eats so desperately that it even hurts his stomach, it should be a disease. Similarly, when a person's desires get out of control (such as in the case of addiction, or because of depression and low self-esteem, the incessant desire for sex) is a pathology of physical and mental loss of health that needs to be treated and recovered.

I don't know when self-discipline became a popular label. When we talk about how others are self-disciplined, what often comes to mind is that this person has a strong ability to control their own desires, and even thinks that self-discipline means suppressing their own desires, which is a great misunderstanding of self-discipline.

Self-discipline is not about suppressing one's desires, but about actively managing one's desires.

First of all, human beings have seven emotions and six desires, which is human nature. From a psychodynamic point of view, this nature is the self in the personality, the pursuit of instinctive pleasure and timely gratification, just like a baby, who eats when he is hungry, cries when he can't eat, and doesn't cry when he gets food. If our desires are not satisfied, we will be unhappy, and if we continue to be unsatisfied, we will be prone to anxiety, irritability, and even psychological problems. Therefore, the constant repression of desires can affect the mental health of the person.

Second, the repression of desire only pushes desire out of the conscious level and allows it to enter the subconscious level, and the desire itself does not disappear. The repression of desires only makes desires stronger.

The desire generated is like a ball floating in a large tank filled with water, if we try to press this ball into the bottom of the tank, unless we hold it down with our hands all the time, it will always come to the surface, and the harder you press, the harder the ball will bounce back. The desires we feel become stronger with the repression, and the more we want to be satisfied.

Suppressing desires requires the consumption of willpower, which is a finite sustainable resource that has its cycles of decline and recovery.

A person who has a desire for sweets, in order to lose weight, she must keep her mouth shut, if she suppresses herself from eating sweets at all, not to mention the fierce struggle in her heart, she must control her desires with willpower, just like pressing the ball with her hand to prevent it from coming to the surface. But one day when her willpower weakens and she can't hold back the ball of desire, she will crave sweets even more and will eat more.

We can continue to press the ball for a day or two, but what about a week, a month, a year? There are always times when you are tired, right? When you feel tired, it is the opportunity for the ball of desire to surface.

Therefore, gaining self-discipline by suppressing desires is unsustainable and contrary to human nature. A more reasonable way is to manage desires rather than suppress them.

We can't control when desires come and when they go, but we can better achieve our goals by consciously and actively managing our desires, which is the fundamental meaning and purpose of self-discipline.

The expression and desire of the ego are regardless of time and occasion, just like a child who goes to the mall and sees something he likes, if his parents do not buy it, he will immediately show his displeasure, and even cry or roll on the ground on the spot, without considering what others will think of him or what the consequences of his actions will be, as long as the goal is achieved.

At this time, if the child's attention is diverted to other things of interest, or if the parents agree with the child to buy him something he likes if he achieves a certain goal, then this desire is effectively managed, and even becomes a motivation for the achievement of the goal.

If we allow ourselves to be free to play and be controlled by our desires, while gaining some degree of freedom, our attention, time and energy will be distracted and we will not be able to focus on what we want to achieve. If we want to achieve our goals better, we must be self-disciplined, learn to harness our desires, and let them serve our goals.

A behavior is usually maintained because it brings us some benefit. If self-discipline is painful, then it is difficult for us to stick to it. Constant repressed desires can be painful, which is one reason why it is difficult to gain self-discipline through constant repressed desires.

One problem that comes with strict self-discipline is psychological self-defeat. It's hard to be disciplined at all times, at least not for most ordinary people. When we can't do it, we tend to criticize ourselves, think that we can't do things well, deny ourselves, and over time we are prone to inferiority.

Don't try to be a completely self-disciplined person. Think about what you want to achieve and use it to lead self-discipline. Try to develop some good habits that are useful and reinforce them with self-control, and when these habits become a part of our lives, we will become more and more disciplined.

Lowering desire is often more effective than improving ability, but it is also harder. If a person has a desire, then this desire is difficult to be suppressed or even eliminated, and forcibly confronting the desire may make the desire temporarily hidden, but the unsatisfied desire will become bigger and bigger, until it can no longer be suppressed. And in the process of suppressing desires, a person will also feel uncomfortable because of the consumption of capacity, etc. The way to deal with desire is to satisfy and channel it as soon as possible, desire is not a bad thing, it is the motivation for one's actions. When a new desire begins to appear, it is often good, a person will not innocently have a desire to kill others, or a desire to steal and rob, but often want to eat, where to play, want to be recognized by others, etc. Discovering one's desires as early as possible, and then satisfying them through action, is the process of continuous improvement of a person. After the desire is satisfied, it may disappear or it may become a greater desire, but the latter is less common, and such a desire can be called the core desire, which is often the subject of a person's life, involving his ability to continuously improve. And other desires that are easy to satisfy are more of an interlude, or even some interference. But if those distractions are not properly channeled, it can turn into bigger and more insatiable desires, which can be overwhelming and making a person very uncomfortable.