opened the door and sat down on the sofa in the living room, Niu Tiangou hurriedly opened the letter in his hand. The writing is not very smooth, nor is it very beautiful, but it is written very carefully, and it is a full 4 pages, and it seems that it took at least half a night:

Tiangou:

By the time you read my letter, I was gone. Please forgive me for not greeting you beforehand.

I've known you for over a year.

Remember the first time we met? That night, I got you drunk, and when I got back to my room, you collapsed in my arms like a child...... At that time, looking at your appearance, I really didn't feel very good, I just served you as a distinguished guest out of the professional instinct of the young lady, because it was specially arranged by Manager Xue.

I didn't expect that I would fall in love with you, an inconspicuous little man.

Any idea when I fell in love with you? It was the time when the "glasses" man brought a group of people to make trouble. That time, you surprised and throbbed me, and you alone easily cleaned up the tall and fierce thugs who were punching and kicking around a few security guards, and I was not only shocked by that scene, but even the ladies and guests around me were stunned.

That time, you really entered my sight, that time, I began to have an inexplicable sense of closeness and even admiration for you, that time, you made me feel what a real man is, that time, for the first time, I felt a warm heartbeat and a heartbeat.

After work that night, I couldn't help but ask you out for barbecue for the first time; That night, for the first time, I willingly accompanied you to the kai room; That night, for the first time, I was not disgusted by a man's lust and lust, but was obsessed with pandering to it; That night, I began to feel the urge to take you for myself, to be with you forever......

Remember when you were injured and hospitalized, I brought you soup? At that time, in addition to going to work, I thought about how to cook soup for you, and when I woke up in the morning, I went to the vegetable market to choose vegetables, and then came back to cook them.

I don't know why I have such actions and feelings, maybe, from there, I have regarded you as my boyfriend, for this reason, I have also been jealous of Liu Sisi, when I saw the intimacy between the two of you when you gave her a leg massage, my heart was blocked, there was a fear that my beloved things were snatched by others, and I scolded her "little goblin" more than once.

I know I was eating vinegar with willow silk, which seems kind of funny to you, right?

When you were discharged from the hospital, I saw that you were half a head taller than me, and you became more handsome, it was really a bit of an ugly duckling turning into a white swan, do you know how excited and happy I was? I couldn't wait to jump into your arms and let you carry me around a few times!

That afternoon, I was so excited, I drank a lot with you and everyone, sang the song "Go Away in Style" again, and then couldn't help but pester you to your office when I returned to the hotel...... Tiangou, you know what? You're the most attractive man I've ever met, and I'm willing to do anything for you!

Later, every time I linger with you, especially when you lie in my arms, I feel as if I own the whole world!

Remember that gold necklace you gave me? I was so excited about this necklace that I didn't sleep well for a few days, and although you didn't say anything at the time, I would rather take it as a token of your commitment to me!

I love you so much. I love your experience as a teacher, your quiet character, your calm and resolute when you encounter problems, the faint smell of tobacco in your mouth, and the even breath when you are asleep...... For this reason, I was not only jealous of Liu Sisi, but even inexplicably jealous of Huang Chunying.

However, I never expected that you would come together with Dr. Xue Lian!

When I saw you and Dr. Xue Lian walking hand in hand to the pavilion next to the fountain in the park that day, I felt like a thunderbolt on the head on a sunny day, and I felt like someone had poured a basin of cold water from head to toe, and I only felt cold and numb all over.

Unexpectedly, another beloved of mine left me and threw himself into the arms of others, and life once again ruthlessly deceived me!

I was hurt once, and this time I was hurt even more, adding new pain to the old pain.

I was utterly hopeless!

These days, I only feel a dull pain in my heart, and I can only lie in bed and cry secretly when I come back in the middle of the night. I hate fate for being unfair to me!

Tiangou, I don't blame you, I only blame myself.

I'm self-aware. I know that in terms of stature, occupation, education, and knowledge, I am far inferior to Dr. Xue Lian.

I am just a young lady who graduated from junior high school and relied on eating youth, with a humble status, and even lowly in the eyes of some people, while Dr. Xue Lian is a real college student, with a fixed career, and is an enviable angel in white.

The ugly duckling on the ground will never be able to compare to the white swan in the sky.

I regret that I didn't stick to my studies in the first place!

Because I gave up school, I didn't have a diploma, no professional knowledge, I could only go to the factory to do those hard and tiring and low-wage work, I was not afraid of hard work, the key is that the salary was too small, in order to earn more money for my two younger sisters to study, and at the same time reduce the burden on my parents, I could only reluctantly choose neither a diploma nor professional knowledge, as long as a beautiful face of the young lady career.

After doing the profession of Miss, I realized how hypocritical some people in this world are.

The hotel KTV room is simply a small stage to show ugly human nature, not to mention those hooligans and gangsters, even those sanctimonious "righteous gentlemen" are also here in their original form, exhaustive appearance.

They say one thing, do another thing, in front of people is another, behind them is another, during the day is another, at night is another. They are living "two-faced people"!

Some of them are school principals, who are well-dressed in front of teachers and students during the day, and become well-dressed beasts when they come to drink a few bottles of cat urine at night.

Some are government officials, who look like dogs on the rostrum or even on TV during the day, and come here at night to accompany the young lady to drink and sing, what is honest and honest, what honor and disgrace are all on the lips, and after the end, they also take the young lady out for the night, and finally have to open a wig piao to go back to sign the bill;

Some are people's policemen, dressed as police officers during the day to catch prostitutes and sweep away pornography with a righteous face, and at night they change into civilian clothes and come here to see the young lady like a cat smelling fishy.

There are also people who are more than half a hundred years old or even sixtieth year, older than the young lady's father or even grandfather, the young ladies hold them and scream "big brother" and "big brother", they listen to their faces are not red, their hearts are not beating, they are not ashamed, and they really think that they have returned to their youth, what the dignity of the elders and what is respectful are all ridiculous, they are simply old who exude earthy smell and are disrespectful to the old!

Disgusting, these people are really disgusting; Ugly, human nature is just too ugly.

After doing the profession of Miss, I realized how humble and pitiful this profession is.

It is said that the ladies are humble and pitiful, because they not only have to endure the harassment and entanglement of the guests every day, but also have a bad reputation, and they are always worried about being known by their hometown.

Here, no young lady is willing to use her real name and surname, and no young lady will tell her real home address to her guests;

Here, no young lady dares to say her true profession in front of her family, and no young lady does not say that she is a waiter, a salesman, a secretary, a manager, and a ...... In short, it's not to be Miss Zuotai!

They are secretive about their identity as young ladies, afraid that their profession will be known by relatives and friends and lose face, and they have to maintain the last bit of pitiful dignity in front of their family and relatives and friends, and in front of their hometown parents and villagers.

They have low self-esteem and a melancholy heart, despite the fact that they are smiling and well-dressed in front of their guests.

The reason why the ladies are humble and pitiful is that not only do the guests look down on them, treating them as playthings, as instruments of entertainment, but even they themselves sometimes look down on themselves and hate their "unclean" bodies that are touched by thousands of people.

Many of them have been infected with venereal diseases, and they secretly treat them if they can't, and they don't dare to tell others, let alone their families, if they can't. The most terrible thing is to contract AIDS, and the guests come in all directions, who can guarantee that they do not have this virus lurking in them? Who can guarantee that they won't get infected? Once infected, they can only leave quietly, and finally disappear silently in this world like ants......

It is said that the young ladies are humble and pitiful, because they have no qualifications to love and the right to be loved in the mood for love, and no young man can marry her home as a wife without any scruples when he knows that the other party is Miss Zuotai, because the young men cannot withstand the pressure of public opinion brought about by the young lady's profession and reputation.

In the end, most of the ladies could only return to their hometown or go to another place with physical and mental pain after saving enough money, and find a man who did not know their past and had slightly better conditions to marry them in a hurry.

Some people have to go for hymen repair surgery before getting married in order for their men to respect themselves and no longer have a shadow in their lives, however, the physical scars are easy to repair, and the mental wounds can never be repaired.

There are also some people who tell their men before marriage that they have been with a partner, cohabited or miscarried, and after obtaining the man's forgiveness, they bury their unbearable past deep in their hearts.

It seems that I will not escape such a sad fate.

Otherwise, do I have any other choice?

Tiangou, I'm leaving, although it will make me miserable to leave you, but I will be even more miserable to stay, the feeling of watching my beloved marry someone else is as uncomfortable as a knife, and I will go crazy if I stay again.

I am jealous of Dr. Xue Lian, her figure, occupation, education, knowledge, but I don't hate her, she is a good person, and it is also your blessing to be able to marry her, although my heart hurts, but I can only bless you, and at the same time as blessing you and Dr. Xue Lian, I should also find my own happiness.

I know that a woman's youth is like a perfume, which will soon evaporate, since I can't get the wishful husband in my dream, I can only grab the tail of youth, and take advantage of my current appearance and appearance, and hurry back to find a down-to-earth man to marry.

Of course, this man has to be a good guy first, I have to have feelings for him, he has to have a house in the county.

Although this man will be far inferior to you in my heart, I can only accept my fate.

Tiangou, I'm leaving. Maybe we will never have the opportunity to meet again in this life, but I will always remember that there is a man in this world that I will never forget, remember the bits and pieces of our acquaintance, intersection, and entanglement, and bury it in the depths of my heart, along with the gold necklace you gave me.

Farewell, God, the man I love with all my heart! Forgive me for calling you that. For the relationship between the two of us, I have done my best, I have no regrets! I don't blame anyone, I just blame me for not having the conditions and ability to make you fall in love with me.

Farewell, Tiangou, although we are no longer together, when I see that gold necklace in the future, I will always think of you, your voice and smile, the appearance of you when you drink soup, the heroic posture when you wave your hand, the gluttony when you linger, and the faint smell of tobacco on your body......

Farewell, Tiangou, there is no chance in this life, if there is an afterlife, God will give me another chance, I will definitely study hard, I will no longer be a miss, I will definitely meet the conditions for you to fall in love with me, and have the ability for you to fall in love with me, at that time, I will hold you tightly, love you well and love you, so that you will never leave me.

In the next life, I must be your woman!

Your: Sister Lisa Bai (Xiaoli).

The night of September 9

After reading the letter, Niu Tiangou sat on the sofa in a daze, as if he had knocked over a five-flavor bottle, only to feel a sour nose, and a strong sense of guilt burned his eyes......

This mournful letter was like a ball of cotton blocking his heart, and he couldn't breathe.

He knew that Bai Lisa must have finished writing this long letter with tears in her eyes.

Niu Tiangou only felt a faint pain in his heart.

Nima, when she was in poor condition, she was hurt by others, but now her conditions are a little better, but she is hurting others for no reason.

Alas, the marriage and love in this world is really an unclear mess, east and west of the river, everything stems from the change of conditions.

After being stunned for a while, Niu Tiangou took out his mobile phone and called her, he didn't know where she had been now.

The phone rang for a while, but no one answered.

Sighing, Niu Tiangou had to send her a text message:

"I'm sad that you're gone. I know that your heart is very bitter, and you should punish me in this way, but I still sincerely hope that you will find someone who understands you and loves you, find your own happiness, and have a good home, so that I can reduce my guilt towards you and let me get some comfort. By the way, don't forget to notify me when you get married. The person who cares about you: Tiangou. ”

After pressing the send button, Niu Tiangou breathed a sigh of relief.

At this time, Dr. Xue Lian opened the door and came in, and saw that Niu Tiangou's face seemed to be very vegetable, and said with concern: "Is there something uncomfortable?" ”

"Nope." Niu Tiangou shook his head.

Dr. Xue Lian looked at his tired face suspiciously, and estimated that he was tired, so he suggested: "Why don't you go to the mall today, rest and rest, and go again tomorrow?" ”

"Okay." Niu Tian replied, and leaned back on the sofa weakly......