"Wow! Why are you burning me with flames? ”

"What are you shaving your beard for? Did you know that you have lost your beard and no last name? ”

"Really?"

"Alas, neither can Wen, neither can Wu, you don't want to be a thief, do you want to be a champion?"

"I've thought about ......"

"Save you! Change your image and do your promising career as a bandit! ”

“……”

The classic dialogue between Stephen Chow and Karen Mok sounded in the cinema, and later when the Journey to the West swept the entire mainland, in retrospect, I am afraid it is difficult to imagine the scene when this movie was just released in the mainland in 95, a simple word: cold.

Jokes that can't be understood often become cold jokes, can movies be made like this? Can Journey to the West be changed like this? So some people in the entire movie theater were stunned, some laughed and scolded, and some were dumbfounded and speechless. Perhaps only someone as somewhat deviant as Sasha would laugh and hammer desperately on Jia Ming's shoulder.

"Isn't it, is he the Monkey King? Is he the Monkey King...... How could he be the Monkey King...... Haha, hit you, hit you......"

"Oh, Shasha, don't laugh, you see a lot of people looking at you......" Ling Jing chuckled on the side, Shasha has the habit of punching people when he is extremely happy, naturally, it is often Jiaming who is beaten. For the spoof in the Journey to the West, Jiaming naturally didn't understand, but he only laughed a few times, and felt that Shasha's brain was a little funny, and since the incident of the Cao family's father and son, she has become more and more funny.

In fact, Sha Sha also felt that she was a little strange recently, the kiss that licked the blood from Jiaming's mouth in the woods behind the wood processing factory often reappeared in her mind, and she wanted to see Jiaming more every day, when Jiaming was by her side, she felt safe and comfortable, and sometimes she had a rare blush and heartbeat.

Judging by the romance novels she has read, she is probably in love with Jia Ming.

But how can that be, Jiaming is his good friend, a boy that his other good friend Ling Jing likes, a boy that Ling Jing likes, it stands to reason that he shouldn't like it, but if he doesn't like it, what kind of attitude should it be?

The three of them have played since childhood, and their behavior between each other has long been no barrier, and the collision of limbs between fights and troubles is just a trivial matter, because of several oolong incidents, Jiaming has seen the bodies of the two of them, and they have more or less seen some ** of Jiaming. However, if you shouldn't like this boy, what kind of distance should you keep from him? Is it more distant, than when you were friends? Such doubts have made Shasha's recent behavior somewhat abnormal.

If it's too close, you will think of Lingjing, you will blush and your heart will beat, and when you are far away, you will feel that you are almost excluded from the range of friends by the two of them, such a feeling is absolutely unbearable. The misconduct made Shasha's behavior sometimes violent and sometimes ladylike, and that feeling lasted for the whole of the next ninety-six years.

Of course, if you analyze it from the perspective of a bystander, Sha Sha should be one step earlier than Ling Jing's love for the beginning of the relationship, Ling Jing's previous good impression of Jia Ming may still be very vague, and she is not out of the category of children at all, she can share Jia Ming with Sha Sha without care, she can watch the two good friends roll down in the ring and shout and cheer, but who can say clearly what such a thing as love is.

Not long after that, the time crossed into the beginning of '96. The school has a winter vacation, which means that the three of them have more time to mingle, at this time Jiaming and Lingjing are nearly fifteen years old, Shasha will step into the ranks of sixteen-year-old flower season girls after the birth of September, with the ubiquitous happiness and ignorant love, two little girls with mature minds and a psychologically mature little boy still stick to their little world, when this world will be impacted, no one knows, no one thinks.

For Jiaming, the psychology of the two girls has also grown up, and getting along is not as boring as before, they are lilies, and it will not become strange for them to get along like this, when they are used as their shields, they can also be the shields of the two of them, such a trio is simply perfect. He had never experienced a normal childhood before, and at this time, what he felt was not only relaxed and freehand, it was simply happiness.

A few days after the New Year, Jianghai City was covered with snow, the three of them wore down jackets, wearing gloves in the streets and alleys of Jianghai City, video games, ice skating, going to the park to drive bumper cars, playing *, the two girls cheeks were red, high spirits, the fourth day after the New Year, they picked up a cage of kittens, just after being born by the owner thrown out of the door, five kittens have frozen to death four of them, only one ugly white cat was held in Ling Jing's arms and hatched to life.

The three of them brought it home, Sha Sha named it Ugly, Lingjing said that it was like a newborn lamb, and suggested that it be called Baa, and Jiaming thought that the ugly cat was in danger of dying, and proposed to call it Qing Yu Nian. In the end, Sasha wins, and Kitten takes the name of Ugly and becomes a new member of the three-person world.

Time passed in a calm and warm atmosphere, and Jia Ming occasionally investigated the situation in the United States through some secret intelligence websites, knowing that Marilyn's Salier family and Gambi's Shaolin abbot were not well developed, and Jia Ming could only see written materials, and it was impossible to find video or audio recordings.

In April, a letter appeared on the table in Jiaming's room through a secret channel, to the effect that Tianyu Masanori and Tsukichi Kaoru had an engagement ceremony, Jiaming took a look, and then burned it, thinking that this is my business.

Ping said that he was mixed with two little girls, and occasionally he naturally met Zhang Yahan, a beautiful teacher with big breasts who likes to pretend to be mature, and teased a few words, and sometimes I would think, the two little lily girls themselves are hopeless, everyone is so familiar, maybe they can marry this woman in the future? Then I felt like I was brain-dead.

One evening in June, not long after Jiaming, Lingjing, and Shasha returned to the Ye Martial Arts Hall, Zhang Yahan suddenly came to the door, this time it was different from usual, this beautiful teacher was dressed up, the bridge of her nose was unprecedentedly unsightly, and her wavy curls were straightened, falling down like a waterfall, and she was accompanied by six big men as bodyguards, who looked like Ye's father could fight.

"Well, my sister will be twenty-two years old in a few days, and she is going to get engaged, these invitations are sent to you, remember to arrive on time, hehehehe...... And these two are for Master and Master, what about Master and Master? ”

At this time, Ye's father and Ye's mother were preparing dinner, Zhang Yahan smiled a little charmingly, and a little exaggerated, the two little girls only knew that they were happy for a while, but they didn't see anything, Jiaming looked at the six bodyguards around, and vaguely understood in his heart that Zhang Yahan was mostly unwilling, but in a big family, what was his will? There was one less candidate for marriage, and he pursed his lips lightly.

said a few congratulations in his mouth, and while the six bodyguards stood behind and didn't pay attention, Zhang Yahan squeezed his eyebrows at him, looking weird, Jia Ming looked funny, but he just spread his hands helplessly.

After a while, Jiaming went to the toilet to relieve himself, and before it was over, the voices of several people sounded outside the door, and he was thinking Yahan mm, you don't have to do this, the door has been pushed open, and then slammed shut.

Jiaming hurriedly pulled the zipper, but Zhang Yahan rushed up ignoring his lower body situation, covered his mouth, and blew "shhhhhh

"Please, I'm shhh......h

"There will be no woman in the second half of my life, I'll find it for you, college students are only tens of thousands of yuan a ......" Zhang Yahan ignored him, picked up the water pipe and began to release the water, making a peeing "zizi" sound, and then turned around, "Are we friends, are we best friends, you say!" ”

"Beauty, you can't match that tendon again, please see your identity clearly! Want to run away from marriage? Didn't you have the consciousness of marrying someone you don't like for a long time? ”

"You know I want to run away from marriage and deliberately pretend not to see my eyes! Believe it or not, I'm going to kill you in the toilet! Zhang Yahan opened his teeth and danced his claws, "Consciousness is what you say when you are joking!" I don't want to sacrifice my life's happiness for the sake of my family! You have to help me, only you can help me. ”

"Isn't it, Sister Yahan, you have a funny head, I'm still a child, don't you have a better candidate?"

"If there is me, why do you come to you?"

"Now I believe it, you're a real failure...... "Jiaming covered his forehead, and the big girl and the little boy squatted in the toilet and stared wide-eyed.

"I don't care anyway, only you can help me." Zhang Yahan stood up and pulled up the skirt directly, until the thighs of the surname were fully exposed, and the panties could be seen, and then I saw her pull open the flesh-colored stockings on the heel of her right leg and pull out a note from the inner thigh.

"Come over on the day of the engagement, you're going to get these things ready for me, I know it's going to be difficult, but...... Please, it's okay for you to go out and sell blood, I'm going to give those guys a good look on the spot! ”

"Holy." Jia Ming glanced at the things on the note, "You don't have to act so fierce, it's just engagement, I thought you wanted to abscond to Thailand after killing someone......"

"Cut!" Zhang Yahan's face flushed, "You don't know their rules, engagement is engagement, but you have to sleep with that guy that night, the old old man of the Liu family said that there is no such thing as engagement in China, and he said that he would get married immediately, and I worked hard for a long time before I said engagement, but I want a cave house...... Isn't it the same, I'd rather give the first time to chalk......"

"So Yahan, is it your first time? Anyway, you don't want it, why don't you give it to me here. Hmm, it's so fragrant......" Jiaming took the note and sniffed it, and then Yahan bent his two fingers and knocked it down violently, "Ah, isn't it, is this your attitude of begging for someone?" Believe it or not, I'll scream right away! ”

"Alright, you little pervert, don't make trouble." Yahan's cheeks were crimson, and Jiaming naturally knew that she was very embarrassed by the action of smelling the note just now, and before she could figure out how to speak, Yahan pulled him over and pressed his head on her chest, "That's good, remember to get all the things, my lifelong happiness is in your hands!" ”

She hurriedly finished speaking, ran out of the door with a red face, and Jia Ming read the note in the toilet, then shook his head, tore it up, and flushed it down the toilet.

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