"If there's a mountain in front of me, I can wave at it and yell 'go away'! Then I can easily remove it. If it was a sea, I could raise my arms to it and yell 'part'!" Then the waters can be parted in the same way that the legendary Moses crossed Egypt and parted the Red Sea!

But I can't shout 'love me' to a woman and she'll love me – I can't do that, I can't cut out her heart and engrave my name on it.

Even, when I'm in pain, I can't make myself happy - I can control my heartbeat, I can control the frequency and speed of my heartbeat, even I can control my breathing, the flow of blood. But I couldn't control my feelings. Glad? Or upset? How to control it?!

Let me tell you, what love is. Chen Xiao!

I once laughed at this word, back then, when I failed Mingyue, Lao Tian came to the door, he was carrying a knife, staring at me with hatred and hatred, and questioned me. I used to laugh at him, and I used to dismiss him.

When Lao Tian took Mingyue to walk around the place, and accompanied Mingyue for a few years with an infatuated heart, I couldn't understand this.

I work in research, biology, genetics, genetics...... And so on. I used to think that what is called 'love' is just 'dopa' secreted by the brain; That's it. Helps cells deliver pulsed chemicals. This brain endocrine is mainly responsible for the brain's **, feelings, and the transmission of excitement and happiness information. Love is actually the production of a lot of dopa in the brain; The result of the action.

If you want the taste of love, inject yourself with a certain dose of dedopa; That's it -- I used to think so. Trying to explain everything in simple cold logic or technical terms, I don't have any sacred impulses to worship the word 'love'.

But then I found out that I was wrong - when your mother was so disillusioned with me that she stopped loving me and even hated me.

When I revive your earthly mother. She looked at me with such a disregard, cold look. It's so quiet that it's almost cold...... She said. She doesn't love me. She hates me.

Do you know what I did?

I tried to get her to love me!!

Oh, yes. Isn't the so-called 'love' a chemical component secreted by the human brain? Not to mention. I've asked myself if I'm in control. Time. Space. Substance! Everything is under my control.

I can easily cāo control her body. It even interfered with her brain signals. stimulates her brain to secrete a certain amount of dopa; Stimulate her a**. Stimulate her excitement level. Stimulate her emotions...... I used to think it was love! The essence of love. For a scientist. A chemist. But it's so pale and pitiful!

But. I was wrong!

I did everything I could to inject what I thought was 'love chemistry' into your mother, and when I was done, your mother still looked at me so coldly, and she told me, 'Do you really think you're a god?' But you can't control my heart! No, you can't control anyone's heart, not even your own! ’

I was very angry, very frustrated, and even emotional, and I became more and more aggressive.

But then, or now, I finally realized that your mother was right.

I can control everything, but I can't control people's hearts! Whether it's someone else's heart, or my own, I can't control it! I can't command your mother to love me, I can't even command my own heart not to suffer!

And that's not all...... I can't even control my own **, my own paranoia!

Isn't my ridiculous sense of mission, my ridiculous attempt to guide humanity's 'great mission', my ridiculous ambition, my heart's thoughts? I can't even control that, I can't control my ambition and ambition, and I've made myself do one thing at a time.

God is powerful, but in the same way, God is weak in many ways, just like man.

Chen Xiao, until later, I often couldn't help but wonder whether what I did was right or wrong. I want you to get absolute zìyóu, to become a being who stands in the sky, to be an being who can master all the rules.

But in the end, I felt more and more that even if it was like that, we couldn't even control our own hearts! ”

Joker snuggled by the door, his eyes were calm, and he looked at Chen Xiao and the woman on the bed: "After she was rescued by me, she was already disheartened. Later, she committed suicide several more times.

I went from anger, disappointment, frustration, to sadness, to finally peace.

Do you know what's the most ridiculous?

When your mother committed suicide for the third time, I wasn't even sad at all, not sad anymore.

Because I finally realized that no matter how she died, no matter when she died, no matter what she died, no matter what she died, I could easily resurrect her! For as long as I wanted, it was like being woken up after sleep.

No more life and death, no more sorrow. Even, what should have been a poignant thing, in the end, it felt a little ridiculous.

When death is in my hands, it becomes a child's play...... What else in this world is worth paying attention to? Even death can be surpassed, so what else is there to look forward to in this world?

Suddenly, I realized that I had lost something important again - happiness!

When everything is at my fingertips - no, not even I have to do anything, just move my mind!

I can control time, I can control matter, I can never die, even be young! Even I can change my body at will to make myself young and handsome.

Even, in the past, I felt sorry for Lao Tian...... His tragedy is that he lived too long, and as a result, his relatives died one by one before him.

But I began to think that I wouldn't be that tragic.

Because, after having the ability to control all matter, the people around me, as long as I want, I can also let them live as long as I do! As long as I use the control ability of matter every once in a while, I help them clean up or maintain the structural substances of their bodies. Theoretically, I can keep their bodies young and healthy forever.

In this way, there will be no more sorrow of life and death.

But soon, I realized again...... If there is no sadness, then there is no way to talk about happiness.

Everything is always relative, because there is the sadness of separation, and then with the sadness as a comparison, people will feel the joy of being together. If there is no sadness, no contrast, there is no happiness.

When most things can be easily satisfied, you will be surprised to find that another important thing is far away from you, and this thing is: **!

Yes, ridiculous, right?

Gradually, I don't even have a **!

I became almost unwanted, and at the same time there was no sadness or joy. It wasn't until later that I found out...... Originally......

That's just it, God. ”

Joker sighed: "It's a pity, I didn't believe what your mother said at the beginning. And now that I believe it, I can't change her heart and mine. ”

He slowly walked to Chen Xiao's side and looked at Chen Xiao's side face: "Your mother committed suicide three times, and each time she was saved by me, but the more I don't let her die, the more she doesn't want to live." The more I tried to keep her, the more she wanted to leave me!

Later, I came up with a solution, that is, I sent someone to spy on you, and every once in a while, I would bring her the news about you. It seems that this is the only way to make her have some jīng gods.

But soon, your mother doesn't even want to know anything about you. ”

Looking at Chen Xiao's blank expression, Joker waved his hand: "No, it's not that she doesn't care about you anymore, it's that she can't bear to continue listening to those news." Because she knows very well that I am ready to mold you into a 'god,' a god like me! And your mother thinks it's going to be an unfortunate thing. Therefore, she does not want to see me lead you step by step on the path to godhood. But she couldn't stop me, she didn't have the power to stop me. So, she could only choose not to continue watching.

I remember the last time she committed suicide, she said to me, 'Please don't wake me up again!' ’

Ha ha! When she said this, it was as if we weren't talking about her death, but about napping or napping or something like that.

She felt angry and thought I was horrible. Because in front of me, she doesn't even have the power to die, she wants to escape from me, and she can't even escape me by dying. Isn't that a terrible thing? So, in the end, she could only beg me not to disturb her anymore and let her 'sleep' quietly. ”

"You...... Promised her? Chen Xiao raised her eyelids slightly.

"Yes, I promised her." Jokerr nodded, there was no trace of sadness in his eyes: "I'll just put her here, I will come to see her every day, and then help her 'maintain' her body, you see, for God, it's that simple, no crystal coffin, no scientific preservation means, I can make her body never corrupt at will...... Even if it's corrupted, I can restore her.

Forgive me for not being able to show sadness...... Because I know very well that I can wake her up whenever I want. It's a big deal to make her hate me a little more. If I wanted to, she would never be able to leave me, and death could not be escaped. ”

When you think about it, this is a terrible thing indeed......

It is not uncommon to hear that when one person rejects another, he sometimes says something like, "I will never say anything to you!" ”

But what if, you can't even die?

"If you want to wake her up, you can do it." Joker smiled faintly, "But let me warn you, your mother doesn't want you to do that." She said she didn't want to see you become a 'monster' like me. But now, you are. ”

"I'm not like you." Chen Xiao shook her head.

"Are you sure?" Joker's tone was indifferent: "How long have you been a 'god'?" Eighteen minutes? But I've been a god for eighteen years! Believe me, it won't be long before you find that you start to lose your **, you lose your sense of happiness, you will have nothing to ask for, and then you will gradually lose interest in everything, and finally you will become similar to my current state. ”