The moment I walked out of the villa, the heaviness that weighed me down and couldn't breathe disappeared, but the humiliation lingered in my heart.

After walking along the asphalt road outside the villa, I finally saw a taxi and left in the car.

On the way to the city, my whole person is empty, as if I can't see the future, and I don't know what kind of attitude to treat this love with Mi Cai, I understand: at the beginning, we all blindly underestimated the pressure given by real life.

I suddenly felt that I deserved it, Mi Cai had never experienced love, she didn't understand the huge pressure on love under the identity gap, don't I still understand? But even so, why did you choose to do it without hesitation? Maybe in the bottom of my heart, I still yearn for that crystal clear city, and I long for a love that is not polluted by the dust of the world.

After arriving in the city, I went directly to the station and was about to take the bus back to Suzhou, but I received a call from Mi Cai, hesitated for a while and finally answered.

"Zhaoyang, where have you been?"

"On the way back to Suzhou."

“…… I'm sorry Mi Bang shouldn't have let you go, but ...... She's targeting me, not you, don't be angry, okay? ”

"You really don't need to comfort me, she's not targeting you, not me, but poverty, don't you think I'm so unsightly to stand among your relatives and friends? It's me who has disgraced you in front of your family! ”

"I'm really sad that you say that!"

I was silent for a while, and the bitterness in my heart was even heavier, even if I had grievances, I shouldn't take Mi Cai, a poor woman, as the object of venting, and finally said to her in a lighter tone: "I will work hard, for you, and for myself...... You are happier, and time will explain the rest to us. ”

……

In the afternoon, when I returned to my old house in Suzhou, the first thing I did was to take off my Burberry suit, and then lie on my back on the sofa, smoking again and again in a daze with no future in sight, completely ignoring the hunger caused by not eating at noon.

I asked myself, why is it so painful?

Because I love her, otherwise I would have given up this relationship without any burden, and it would be a big deal to go back to the old days, at least free.

But I can't give up, so the only thing I can do now is to turn the grievances and inferiority complex into the motivation to struggle, and then create a career of my own, so that I can face life with my chest high and face those who once disdained me.

The sky outside the window had already darkened, I finally cooked myself a bowl of instant noodles, and after eating the tasteless food, I fell into a panic with nothing to do, but I didn't want to go to the bar too negatively to get drunk, so I chose to take a walk again to relieve the depression in my heart.

Originally, I didn't set a destination for myself, but I instinctively walked to the moat, maybe this has become my only safe haven in the city, and I need to find some comfort and sustenance here.

As I lay on the withered lawn, enjoying the spring breeze blowing through, my heart gradually calmed down, and then I fell asleep with a tired body.

It wasn't until I felt someone push me that I woke up from my slumber and opened my eyes dimly to find Janeway sitting next to me.

She smiled at me and said, "Zhaoyang, we met here again. ”

I sat up from the grass and habitually took a cigarette from my cigarette case and lit it before saying, "I've been coming a lot lately, but you've been here less." ”

"It's too busy during this time, but I still come to sit down occasionally."

"Oh...... What about Xiang Chen, won't he accompany you? ”

"He's busier than me, and he's been to Shenzhen for several days." After a slight pause, he asked me, "Have you been worrying about a lot lately?" ”

I exhaled heavily and smiled helplessly, "Yes." ”

"Got into a conflict with Mi Cai?"

"Things at work."

I didn't want to talk too deeply about this topic with Janeway, so I changed the subject to her and asked, "Did you really bring gasoline to Aggie's piano shop last time?" ”

Jian Wei was stunned for a moment, and then smiled: "The bucket is filled with water, and I just scare and scare him." ”

I replied with a smile and a smile: "You really scared him stupidly, I didn't find that you had such amazing acting skills before!" ”

"It has nothing to do with acting."

"What does that have to do with that?"

Janeway pursed her lips, but did not answer, and the two fell silent.

After about five minutes of sitting, Janeway suddenly walked towards the riverbank, I thought she was in a hurry to leave, but I didn't want her to take a guitar case out of the trunk of the car, then take out the guitar, and walk down the river bank again, standing in front of me.

I looked at her puzzled and asked, "What do you mean?" ”

"It's not that I will return your guitar, I just hope you can play another song with this guitar."

I didn't respond to Janeway immediately, but I looked at the whitened guitar that had been stained with my sweat in some places, and suddenly I felt a strong sense of intimacy.

So, he finally took the guitar from Janeway's hand and asked her, "What song do you play?" ”

"Tears, Fan Xiaoxuan's tears."

I remembered the song, and when I felt that it was okay, I nodded to Janeway, then plucked the guitar strings and played the song "Tears" on the guitar.

I thought it was just my one-man show, but I didn't want Janeway to sing it along with the accompaniment.

"If youth has an ageless face, I hope she will never be changed, many dreams are always woven too beautiful, followed by disillusionment, falling in love with you is the happiest thing, but also in exchange for the most painful sorrow, bitter and bitter intertwined with the sweetness of love, I can't learn how to haoh tears, tears are the taste of my experience of growth, oh tears, hold back tears and don't let you see, I'm changing, lonely feelings, you never notice, I laugh and tears, oh tears, tears flow through the wordless night, the taste of heartache, oh tears, Wipe away your tears and forget a qiē, the attachment you had, the tears are bitter, the tears are sad, the tears are you, the tears are sweet, the tears are yesterday, the tears do not shed tears......"

The singing gradually stopped, but I heard obvious love in Janeway's singing, especially the sentence "Falling in love with you is the happiest thing, but it also brings the most painful sadness......"

Gradually, I became immersed in the lyrics, because it was a very ironic summary for us.

In a trance, Janeway suddenly made a move that caught me off guard, she snatched the guitar from my hand, and then threw it into the bottomless moat without hesitation.

Looking at the guitar that floated with the waves, my heart rolled with a colic, but Janeway smiled at me with tears in her eyes: "Maybe this is the best ending!" ”

The body of the piano had already begun to enter the water, and seeing that the guitar was about to sink to the bottom of the river and be completely destroyed, all my sanity collapsed in an instant, and I took off my puffer jacket, climbed over the guardrail, and plunged headlong into the bottomless moat.