The night was deeper, the wine was sober, I zipped up my jacket, lit a cigarette, stepped on the light and shadow of the neon lights, and walked on the street in a daze, but my brain was thinking about those endless trivialities, I suddenly got a little tired of my current life, I wanted to do something for my life, but I didn't know where to start, so I was even more confused.

Passing by a hotel, looking at the lights scattered from dozens of windows, it seems to peek into a pair of bodies on the bed one after another, so that the whole hotel is shaking. On this night, some people enjoy the ecstasy of the night in the warm room, and some people walk on the street and endure the loneliness of the night.

But it is precisely because of this contrast that the world seems so three-dimensional and real, I should understand that this world is originally a complex contradiction, loneliness and loss must always be borne by someone, so I don't have to be wronged, I don't have to complain.

But tonight's moonlight is so good, and there is nowhere to escape from the loneliness that shines on it, so please ask the immortals in the sky to turn off the power of the moon, I am willing to bear loneliness, but it does not mean that I am willing to expose loneliness to this red Luo world!

……

Back to the residence, I habitually stood downstairs and looked, and did not see Mi Cai's car, and went around to the opposite side of the building to look, the car was there, Mi Cai seemed to have become accustomed to parking the car here.

I crouched next to the car, smoked another cigarette, and went upstairs, then stood at the door of Mi Cai's room for a while before knocking on her door.

"Mi Cai, have you slept?" I asked in a low voice.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I want to talk to you."

Mi Cai replied unexpectedly, "There is nothing to talk about between us. ”

"Let me at least say thank you in person for tonight's events, thank you so much!"

"No need." Mi Cai still rejected me with three words.

"Yes, don't say I don't want to go!" I said that without Mi Cai's permission, I opened her door in the name of thanks.

The lights in the room were still on, and Mi Cai sat at her desk reading a book, or a document, an essay, or something.

Micai seemed to be used to my rudeness, and didn't react to my behavior of entering the room without permission.

I walked up behind her, glanced at her and asked, "What are you looking at?" ”

Mi Cai ignored me, and her attention was still on the text she was reading.

I just stood like this, but I was thinking about how to tell Mi Cai that I was going to continue to live here.

"Do you think it's appropriate to stand in a woman's room in the dead of night?" Mi Cai asked me coldly.

"I just wanted to say thank you to you, nothing else." I hurriedly said.

"Then you can say it, and get out quickly."

"Oh......" I replied and asked as if flattering, "by the way, did you take your medicine tonight, I just heard you coughing." ”

Mi Caihe frowned and looked at me, and said, "If you have something to say, say it quickly, I'm ready to rest." ”

"That's what you asked me to say, I said you don't turn your face with me." I said quickly.

"Then don't talk about it."

"That's not good, if you say it, you let me say it, of course I have to say it......" After thinking for a while, I finally said: "That ....... tell you the truth, I don't want to move out at all!" After speaking, he subconsciously stood up straight, trying to suppress Mi Cai with a mighty momentum, and get her to agree to my request that I not move out.

Mi Cai looked at me and said calmly: "I said that you can not pay back the money you owe for the time being, so there is no reason why you should not move out." ”

"I said I didn't want to move out at all, don't you understand what I mean?" I raised my voice.

"But you promised me to move out more than once, is your promise so cheap in your own eyes?" Mi Cai's words were cold, but his eyes flashed with anger.

"What's wrong with you letting me live here?" My words are also angry, I don't understand her at the same time that Mi Cai doesn't understand me, there are more people sharing houses in this city, why do I rely on this room so much, but she ruthlessly drives me away again and again, and I feel that my character in the shared house is still very good, and it is a very safe place to live together.

Mi Cai asked rhetorically: "Where is it good for you to sue me." ”

"Anywhere!" After thinking about it, I said: "I live here, and if there is a neighborhood dispute or something in the future, I can easily help you solve it, sue you: I am the ...... in this community."

"Don't be so naïve, okay?" Mi Cai interrupted me.

I sneered, "You don't believe it, do you?" …… You can go to other communities to see, is there a square dance aunt disturbing the people every night, do you find that there is one in this community where we live? …… Isn't it? I sue you: Although there is no property management in this community, I am much better than that property management. ”

"Even if what you say is true, it doesn't justify you from continuing to live here, you have to move out." Mi Cai still said to me resolutely.

I was angry again: "Are you lacking eyes? What's wrong with you letting me live here? At least the water pipe is blocked, the light is broken, I can fix it, it's raining or something, you're not at home, I'll help collect the clothes, and today, if you're sick, I can't die without help, I have to buy you medicine and cook a bowl of ginger soup...... Why do you have to make both of you unhappy? ”

"I'm not unhappy."

Mi Cai choked me with a word, and was embarrassed for a long time before saying: "Anyway, I don't want to move, I owe you so much money, I think it's more important to pay you back first than to move." ”

Mi Cai asked unexpectedly: "Tell me why it is more important to pay back the money first than to move?" ”

I barely thought about it and said: "I will be sure to pay back your money, but moving makes me feel helpless and empty, if it were you, would you choose to pay back the money first, or move first?" ”

"You can move out of here and live elsewhere, but where to start with emptiness and helplessness?" Mi Cai continued to ask.

I looked around at all the qiē in this room, and there was a burst of unspeakable love in my heart, Mi Cai She didn't understand my feelings and attachment to this house at all, so every time she drove me away, she wouldn't think about my feelings, but then again, she didn't need to think about it, no matter how deep the attachment was, it was only my own after all.

I lit a cigarette to vent the loss and helplessness in my heart.

"Don't smoke in my room, okay?"

Mi Cai's words were full of disgust, but I couldn't blame her, I was too presumptuous to ignore that I was still in her room at the moment.

"Sorry, I'll go to the balcony to smoke." I whispered.

……

After smoking a cigarette on the balcony, I went back to the living room, but to my surprise, Mi Cai did not stay in her bedroom at the moment, but sat on the sofa in the living room.

For the first time, she took the initiative to say to me, "You haven't answered my question yet. ”

"You just asked me why I feel empty and helpless when I move out, don't you?"

Mi Cai nodded.

I sat down on the sofa opposite Mi Cai, closed my eyes, and the countless days and nights I had lived here came to my mind like fragments.

After a long silence, I finally spoke: "I moved in two years ago, and the first days of my life were the darkest days of my life, and I lost sleep almost every night...... The reason why I have insomnia is because I have a lot of thoughts, but these thoughts and no one can say anything, but I feel uncomfortable in my heart, so I regard the floor lamp, cabinet, wall clock, and even a mop in the house as my friends, and tell them these thoughts that I can't say to people, although they never respond to me anything, but they are very patient, no matter how long I say, they are very patient, so after not vomiting unpleasantly, I am not so uncomfortable, I am very grateful to them, thanks to a qiē in this room, They are my dependents and my friends, so I don't want to leave, I love this room, although it is very simple, it is the safest and warmest place in my world......!! ”

After I finished speaking, Mi Cai looked at me with a very complicated look, but I didn't know what this complexity meant, just anxiously waiting for her to let me continue to live here.

Flowers, collections, sign-ins, don't forget.