Since saying goodbye to Le Yao last night, I have communicated with two women, one is Xiaoyun as a bystander, and the other is Mi Cai, the party in my love life, and they all talked about my insecurity.

I don't have to deny it, but it took me some time to find the reason, assuming that Mi Cai and I didn't end up with a positive relationship, then which woman would I fall in love with again with a weak body?

My love life will ruthlessly retreat to the most absurd years I have ever experienced, but there is no woman named Le Yao to accompany me, and there will be no woman named Mi Cai to save me.

It turns out that this qiē fear comes from my powerlessness in feelings, after experiencing a reincarnation, my age will not return to the starting point, when I am 28 years old, maybe 29, or even older, how will I stand in the distance of this life, to face the regret that there is no love can be looked forward to, and this period of life and separation, in my opinion, is far more painful than death, at least accompanied by the extinguishing of the heart, and life is a heart that cannot die, in the scorching fire, painful rolling around.

I didn't tell Sù Mi Cai the reason for my insecurity, and I just pressed the words "I love you" on my phone and sent it to her as a reason, and then I fell into a depression and opened the curtains, throwing my eyes on the dew-stained and damp road

I spent the whole day at my desk in the cold sun at the end of November, and the papers I had worked on were already piled up in the corners of the table, and such a busy work was that all the shops on the road of literature and art would hold intensive activities close to Christmas, and the funds and contents of these activities would need to be approved by me.

Stretching my body, I finally lit the first cigarette of the day for myself before getting off work, and emptied myself again, leaning back on the office chair, looking at the dead leaves fluttering outside the window and the hurried crowd, the heart that had been empty was filled with the loneliness of thinking about a person, but Mi Cai, who was in a foreign country, maybe still sleeping, really wished that she could drive a sail and break into her dreams.

Thinking of this, I finally smiled, snuffed out the cigarette butt in my hand, picked up the briefcase and walked outside the company, I wanted to go to the "empty city" to sit, maybe if I was lucky, I could meet CC, I always thought that her singing voice can make people forget many earthly troubles.

I didn't drive myself this evening, but I took the bus for the first time, and I felt that I was gregarious when I stood in the crowded and wobbly carriage.

After waiting in the crowd for a long time, a bus staggered to the ground, I put the briefcase on my head, occupied a vantage point, and soon squeezed into the car before a group of people, and after exhaling a sigh, I found that my skills in the market were still there, and I couldn't help but feel a little better, so I followed the car radio and hummed a song that I had never heard before.

At this time, a young woman holding a child may have been too dull and crowded in the carriage, grabbed the young woman's hair and cried bitterly, crying while looking at the world outside the car window, and the cry was full of desire to escape.

The young woman was very afraid of the child's crying, so she threatened: "Meow, if you cry again, Ma Ma will sell you to be a good child, don't cry!" ”

The child seemed to be accustomed to such intimidation, and did not pay attention to it at all, but cried louder, and the young woman looked at the passengers in the carriage with some confusion, and felt sorry for the child's louder and louder crying.

I squeezed through the crowd and came to her side, and asked her without a smile, "Sister, how did you sell this child?" ”

The carriage was suddenly silent, and the child's cry seemed to have stepped on the brakes, and it stopped abruptly, looking at me with tears in his eyes for a long time, and the crowd in the carriage let out a good-natured laugh, and I followed the laughter, retreated to the original position, and then looked through the gap in the crowd, looking at the rows of street lamps lit up in the same posture outside the window, looking for a boat docked for itself in this dock-like city

After coming to the "Empty City" restaurant, I habitually looked around, but except for the group of strange customers and a strange resident singer, I didn't find any CC or Robben, and Le Yao not to mention, maybe she was already with her fiancé at this time, but I was a little curious about what kind of man this woman who had countless intersections with me would marry in this life.

After ordering a draught beer, I called Robben, I didn't want to be alone on this empty, somewhat cold night.

Robben arrived at the restaurant after a while, and even though he was now a well-known folk singer in the music industry, when my friend needed a drinking buddy, he would still put down what he was doing and arrive as soon as possible, and this is the friendship that has accumulated over the years, and this friendship makes me feel that I still have a place to stop in this big, somewhat empty city.

I asked Robben for a cup of draft beer, and the two of them drank it under the warm breeze blowing from the air conditioner, and after putting down the glass, he asked me, "The big name sues you, is there any news that she is going to Beijing to get married?" ”

I nodded, took another sip from my glass, but this one was so big that the cold sensation irritated my head for a while.

Robben said again: "Alas, this is another fucking bitter drama, the big name must have cried very badly yesterday, right?" ”

I didn't speak, I still nodded, in fact, Le Yao last night, not only cried miserably on the top of that tall building, but even the soul hidden in the body was broken, otherwise how could she slap me and herself so heavily Suddenly, thinking of the child who disappeared in the abortion operation again, my heart ached again, because it was my child.

Robben didn't say anything, lit a red plum cigarette, and looked at the female singer singing a folk song on the stage.

I finally asked him, "Did Le Yao tell you who she was marrying against?" ”

"Who she's married to? must be rich, handsome, and have a unique family background! Ordinary people really can't catch up with Le Yao! ”

"Who is it?"

"The famous son-in-law brother in the capital, Cao Jinfei."

I shook my head and said I hadn't heard of such a person.

Robben took a puff of cigarette and said: "It's normal that you haven't heard of it, after all, you are not a public figure, unless you are a person in the circle, ordinary people can't reach it." ”

I also wanted to know more about Cao Jinfei, but in the end I couldn't ask, after all, Ren and Le Yao are a good pair, I asked too much, but it seemed that I had intentions.

After a cup of draft beer, my phone rang in my pocket, thinking it was Mi Cai's call from me after getting up, and hurriedly took it out, but found that it was Zhou Zhaokun calling, in fact, I didn't have much contact with him, this sudden phone call and Le Yao's marriage seemed to be a coincidence, perhaps, he has always had a good impression of Le Yao, and he has also learned about Le Yao's marriage!