Already far from the old neighborhood, I dragged my luggage through the streets of the city, and walked for a long time before I found a stone bench in a square where I could rest.

I put my luggage on the side of the stone bench, lit a cigarette and sat down, looking at the flickering neon lights clinging to the tall buildings, and a wave of panic welled up in my heart that I didn't know where to go.

Hurriedly avoiding the light and shadow of the city, I looked up at the sky, looking for the "city in the sky" that had been stripped from my body.

I don't know when, a group of square dance aunts with fans came to the square, and the sound of music suddenly drowned me out, and I couldn't see the "city in the sky" clearly in the suffocation, maybe it had long been hidden behind the moon, maybe it had been blown away by the passing wind just now......

But this night, I have to find a place to rest in the city.

I took out my phone from my pocket and dialed Robben, who lives near the train station, and it just so happens that I am going to Hengdian by train tomorrow, so I will stay with him this night.

In the noise, Robben answered the phone: "Zhaoyang, is there something to find me?" ”

"Still playing in a bar?"

"yes, it's going to be our band right away."

"Oh...... Well, I'd like to go and stay with you for the night, is it convenient? ”

Robben smiled and said, "What's inconvenient, you come to the bar now, wait for me to get off work, and let's go back together." ”

"I'll go straight to where you live, and I won't go to the bar."

"Laisa, I'll invite you to drink, I still have several consumption coupons here."

"I'm not going." I hung up the phone after saying that, leaving the wonder of why I didn't go to Robben.

After leaving the square, I took a taxi directly to Robben's residence, looked at the time, and went to the train station to buy a train ticket from Suzhou to Yiwu tomorrow morning.

……

Robben didn't get back from the bar until about 12 o'clock at night, and I was already asleep in the hallway with my luggage.

Robben woke me up and said in a complaining tone, "You kid has recently changed sex!" You are not happy to let you go to the bar, and you would rather sleep in the corridor and wait! ”

I just smiled and didn't say anything.

Robben opened the door and asked me, "You moved?" ”

"Yes, I haven't found a suitable house for the time being, and I'll have a business trip to Hengdian tomorrow, so I'll just come to you for a night!"

"Stay, it's going to take as long as you want!" After saying that, he looked at the luggage on the ground and asked, "Where's your awesome guitar?" ”

I felt a little depressed, after all, it was a guitar that had been with me for several years, but I said to Robben casually: "Take it to pay off the debt!" ”

Robben's eyes widened and he sighed, "Paid the debt? What a mess you're in! I've played with you a few times before, but you didn't borrow it like a baby, and you actually used it to pay off the debt! ”

"Don't talk about it, help me get my luggage in."

……

Robben lived in a small attic on the top floor, with only a narrow room, and there was a small balcony at the back of the house, on which there was a bathroom shared by many people and a rope for drying clothes, and the living environment was not good.

When I turned on the light, I saw a few simple leather jackets hanging on the hanger, a guitar in the corner, a few pairs of Martin boots on the shoe rack, and a few boxes.

After putting the luggage away, Robben didn't know which box to take out two buckets of instant noodles and soaked one bucket for me and himself for supper.

After a short while, the box of instant noodles that had been eaten was upside down on the discarded flower pot under the balcony, and the two of them put a few cans of beer next to them and sat on the balcony railing.

Tearing open a can of beer, Robben and I touched one, looked up, and immediately half-filled beer in our stomachs.

"Zhaoyang, I see that you have been very depressed recently, what kind of blow did you suffer from, and you didn't even go to the bar?"

"I'm living at ease, what blow can I suffer?" I drank the rest of the beer from the can in one gulp, but stared blankly into the distance.

In the distance, the lights on Maxwell's giant billboard still flickered in the wee hours of the night.

Robben didn't ask any more questions, but also looked into the distance with my gaze, and patted me on the shoulder with empathy for a long time, we are all marginal people struggling in this city, some pain is the same, in fact, there is no need to say too clearly.

The wind whistled past us with the coldness of the night, and Robben and I were still sitting on the guardrail and watching, and we drank another can of beer.

In the quiet of the night, people always think more, Robben seemed to think of someone, and tore open a can of beer, but I stopped him, drinking too much is not good after all, I almost jumped into the moat yesterday because I drank too much.

"Miss a woman?" I asked Robben with a smile.

"yes, just think about it with some drink." Robben said very bluntly.

I knew that Robben once had a girlfriend who was very much in love, and I nudged him and said, "Do you still have a picture of that girlfriend?" Take it out and take a look. ”

Robben took out a wallet from his pocket, took out a photo from the mezzanine and handed it to me, I saw the woman in the photo clearly through the light shining in the distance, with good facial features, a very intellectual and temperamental woman.

Robben was a little distracted, and said to me after a long time: "It's been almost three years since we broke up, and now she should be married!" ”

"Why did you break up?"

Robben smiled gloomily: "She was born in a family of teachers, her parents are both university professors, scholarly families, I am a musician, I don't have a stable income, I don't want to delay her for a day." ”

"So you ran from Beijing to Suzhou with her on your back?"

Robben nodded, and said after a long time: "Actually, she chased her to Suzhou, and we lived together for another half a year......"

"Then why did you break up?" I asked, a little puzzled.

"Her parents approached me and said that they had arranged a job for her at a university in Beijing and asked me to let her go back to Beijing."

"You little fool really let it go?"

Robben nodded: "Let it go, I sue her that I have another woman." ”

"Can she believe it?"

Robben smiled and said, "She definitely doesn't believe ......"

"What ......?"

"I found a young lady, right in this room, in front of her......" Robben didn't say any more, still with a smile on his face, but under this smile I saw a heart that was already dead.

I sighed heavily and said, "Why do you do such a thing!" ”

"I don't do this, she won't go, long pain is better than short pain......!" Robben raised his head and took a sip of the beer from the can, some of which ran down his neck and into the placket of his clothes.

I was silent, and although Robben said it was an understatement, I saw a heart-rending love in helplessness, and I knew that Robben would never forget that woman for the rest of his life.

"Don't talk about me, take out the picture of your girlfriend and take a look." Robben also nudged me and said.

I also took out a picture of Janeway from the mezzanine of my wallet and handed it to Robben, in fact, we are not too willing to forget the past, because it is too precious!

The light projected on the opposite side was already insufficient, and Robben lit the lighter, looking at Janeway in the photo through the burning flames.

"Your girlfriend is beautiful, not ordinarily beautiful!"

When I heard the word beautiful, suddenly the face of my female tenant came to my mind again, but this did not surprise me, because I have never seen a more beautiful woman than Mi Cai in my life, just for a moment I returned to reality, while the flame has not yet been extinguished to look at the familiar and unfamiliar face of Jane Wei in the photo, my heart tingled, I thought: It won't be long before she will marry Xiang Chen.

Robben returned Janeway's picture to me and asked, "What about you, why did you break up?" ”

I recalled, for a long time, saying, "A year after she went to the United States, she called me and proposed to break up. ”

"Why did she break up with you?" Robben asked.

"I don't know, she didn't say." I replied with the same smile as Robben.

"You didn't ask?"

I nodded, I really didn't ask Janeway why she broke up with me, because I thought: if Janeway wanted to say, she wouldn't have asked me, or maybe I didn't subconsciously believe that we could go to the end and break up one day, and what could I do if I asked for a result?

"Aren't you afraid that there will be some misunderstanding between you?" Robben reminded me.

I was stunned and said, "What misunderstanding can there be?" …… Love is just a passing moment, don't talk about this! Go get the guitar, let's have a song, and forget about the mess! ”

Robben took the guitar from the house, tried it and asked me, "Use your key (tuning) or my key?" ”

"Whatever."

Robben plucks the guitar strings, and a melody wafts in the night air, which is Li Zongsheng's "The Price of Love".

“…… Let's go, let's go, people always have to learn to grow up on their own. Let's go, let's go, life will inevitably go through painful struggles, let's go, let's go, find a home for your heart. I have also shed tears and broken hearts, this is the price of love. Maybe I still miss her occasionally, and I can't help but think about her occasionally. Just thinking that he is an old friend also makes me feel distressed and worried. It's just that there is no more spark in my heart, let the past go with the wind......"

The song wafted out of our mouths, full of vicissitudes, but I didn't understand whether the price of love was just sad tears and heartbreak, but I knew: the price of growth is those loves that have passed away in the flow of years.

In the middle of the night when I should see through, I still regret my lost love, for Robben and the unknown Beijing girl!

……

Early the next morning, I took the train to Yiwu, and after arriving in Yiwu, I had to transfer to Hengdian, I knew that I should do something for myself, if Le Yao could agree to come back to help GUCCI shoot the opening poster, my career will usher in the first progress in my life.

I was promoted to the leader of the planning and copywriting team, and my monthly salary will also exceed 10,000 yuan, so maybe my life can be stabilized.

Sitting on the train to the south, I said to myself for the first time, "Go hard, Zhaoyang!" …… Don't let anyone look down on you anymore! ”