Lin Wanwan separated when the sun set, and I instructed: "Don't come to see me if you don't have anything urgent, so you don't have to get into trouble." ”

Lin Wanwan smiled and said, "I'm just worried about your body, but now that you are in good spirits, I can be regarded as relieved, there is nothing to do, I have my own measure." ”

I nodded, smiling as I watched her leave.

The New Year is approaching, and the Buddhist temple is still cold, but the smell of firecrackers and gunpowder faintly wafting in the distance reminds me that I am going to celebrate the New Year. Every day, I just sit quietly in the room and chant sutras, and the days are comfortable, but occasionally in the middle of the night, I will be heartache and can't help myself, the pain is terrible, and I will vomit blood.

That being said, I feel a lot better in my body, probably because of my state of mind. Ecchymosis appeared again and again on the back of my hand, but I didn't feel anything, I just suspected that the doctor was lying to me.

On the night of the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, the mountain temple didn't feel anything, but watched the fireworks in Beijing on the mountain, it was very bright, the imperial city was so far away, the fireworks were still visible, they were all unique fireworks. Before long, many sky lanterns floated on the imperial city, fluttering into the sky. I was surprised for a long time, and a little master behind me was stunned when he saw me, so he said: "I heard that the imperial concubine Niangniang is seriously ill, and the emperor prays for the mother's blessing." ”

I turned my head and looked at the little master, who was in his teens, who had not shaved his head, and asked, "Dare to ask, how did the little master know?" ”

The little master smiled and said embarrassedly: "I am just a lay disciple of Qixia Temple, because I was sick when I was young, so I became a lay disciple, and I came to the mountain temple every year for the New Year, and I was cured," he said, putting the scriptures in his hand on the railing, and said, "The imperial concubine posted in Beijing said that the imperial concubine was seriously ill, and the criminals in Beijing were all released except for the ten heinous capital crimes." ”

I just looked at those sky lanterns from afar, I didn't know what to say, the little master also looked at the sky lanterns in the distance, and said with a smile: "Although it is not an amnesty for the world, it can also be seen that the emperor is very attentive to the imperial concubine," said with his hands folded, and said, "The woman who makes the emperor so fond of must also be a good person, and I also hope that the imperial concubine will recover as soon as possible." ”

I paused, and prayed with the little master: "In this way, I hope that the emperor can become a Ming monarch, and I also wish...... The imperial concubine is safe in this life. ”

Fireworks bloomed in the distance, one was disillusioned, the other was amazing, but one after another, there were more and more sky lanterns in the sky, and Ah Han was also looking up at these sky lanterns in the imperial city at the moment. The little master picked up the scriptures and left.

I was still standing in front of the railing, looking at the sky lanterns......

The lights flickered on and off that day, the sky was like a sea of stars, I looked at it, that vast picture scroll like stars, many people's blessings, what kind of virtue can I do? This touched my hidden emotions little by little, what am I awkward? The dead are gone, why shouldn't I be selfish? Live for yourself. Maybe Ah Han is also lighting the sky lantern at the moment, just for that ethereal wish.

I unconsciously grabbed the railing and muttered, "Ahan, I'm ...... I'll see you soon. In this way, he made up his mind, turned around suddenly, but his body was unstable, he fell to the ground, spat out a mouthful of blood, and the world spun in an instant. After a while, I came back to my senses, and my heart was already desolate, and I smiled faintly: "Even God doesn't want me to go back." ”

At the beginning of the first year, there were a lot of pilgrims, and Lin Wanwan mingled among the pilgrims and quietly came to see me. Sitting in the mountains and forests, when Lin Wanwan saw me, he exclaimed, "Chu Xi, why have you lost so much weight?" ”

I smiled indifferently and said, "What is thin or not?" I think it's just right," I saw her look of concern growing, and hurriedly diverted the conversation and asked, "Didn't I tell you to come less?" Why is it here again? ”

Lin Wanwan said with a smile: "It's nothing, there are many people during the New Year, it's good to come here to see you, besides, how lonely you are during the New Year." ”

I smiled and casually asked, "Is there anything new to tell me lately?" ”

Lin Wanwan smiled and said, "Yes, yes, but you probably aren't interested." ”

I looked at her, smiled, and motioned for her to come and listen. Lin Wanwan thought for a while and said: "The emperor ordered the recruitment of martial arts, and those who can get the martial arts champion will be immediately crowned as a general, and the official will be a first-class official." ”

I just smiled and said, "There is no shortage of people who can fight with soldiers, so why bother with such a huge recruitment?" I'm afraid it will hurt the heart of the military attaché. ”

Lin Wanwan glanced at me and said, "You're worrying about it again!" Seeing what I was thinking with a frown, he said helplessly, "After Liang Pu died in battle, the Liang family had no hereditary general, Wang Naiji resigned from illness years ago, and at this moment I am afraid that I have returned to my hometown with my old mother and weak sister, the general is temporarily absent, and there is no one who can use it in the court, can I not recruit for the exam?" ”

After I listened, I just smiled, Wang Naizheng could still listen to my words, I was afraid that I would be overshadowed by the master, and I resigned and returned to my hometown, but I don't know what happened to Wang Naizheng. Lin Wanwan tugged at my sleeve and asked, "Chuxi, what do you want?" ”

I came back to my senses and said with a smile: "It's also a good thing, it's only a matter of time before the military power is unified, although the Liang family is not defeated at the moment, but it can't afford to set off a big storm, although the diligent replacement of the military position here will make the military unstable, but the monarchy will be more stable." ”

Lin Wanwan slapped me lightly and reprimanded: "Say that you have to rest assured, what are you thinking about these messy things that are fighting for power and profit!" As she spoke, she looked at me, sighed, and said, "Look, I don't dare to hit you, for fear that you will be like a piece of paper, and it will break if you poke it." ”

I couldn't help but laugh and said, "How can it be so exaggerated? I comforted her and said, "I'll take good care of myself, so don't worry." ”

Lin Wanwan just sighed and said, "Chu Xi, don't blame me for being too talkative, I don't think you should stay here any longer, go back to the palace." ”

I just smiled, was stunned for a long time, and said lightly: "Bend, I regret it too." ”

Lin Wanwan grabbed my hand and said eagerly, "Then go back." ”

I frowned and said with a wry smile: "I was so decisive when I left, because I felt that there was Ah Qing in the middle, Qi Min and Rui'er, Sister and Rong Rong, and the concubine and the queen mother, I really couldn't face Ah Han, and I couldn't hate him, I could only choose to escape and run away from him," I looked at Lin Wanwan and choked up, "I just don't know why, I've been more and more afraid of life and death recently, I've experienced so many life and death partings, I don't want me and Ah Han to be the same parting." ”

Lin Wanwan said softly: "You can go back, Chu Xi." She smiled slightly and said seriously, "The emperor's heart for you, you are afraid that you know better than me, and there is nothing better than going back." ”

I looked at Lin Wanwan for a long time, my eyes were full of moist moisture, I smiled and laughed, tears flowed down, I shook my head and said, "I can't go back, I can't go back." ”

Lin Wanwan asked in surprise, "What is this?" Why? ”

I wanted to tell Lin Wanwan what I thought in my heart, but I was afraid that she would be scared, so I just shook my head and said, "That's it, it's good to be like this." ”

Lin Wanwan couldn't ask, so he was also discouraged, but just told me to take good care of myself, and then left with the pilgrims.

As soon as Lin Wanwan left, I was also a lot more relieved. Now that the people I can know are safe, I don't want to see more or hear any bad news about the people close to me. Now I don't even want to know the good news, and I'm afraid that it will come to my ears and turn into bad news.

As soon as the New Year passed, I just felt that my body was getting worse, and sometimes I would feel distressed for no reason, and I would have a fever from time to time, and the ecchymosis on my hands had not disappeared. I also felt more and more tired, and I just snuggled up in the circle chair and basked in the sun outside all day.

When the abbot saw me like this, he sighed, "Donor, why don't you go back?" ”

I smiled lightly and said, "The abbot is a person who understands, otherwise Qixia Temple is a royal place, and the news of me here would have been transmitted back to the palace a long time ago." ”

The abbot smiled faintly and said, "The old man doesn't say it, it's because the reincarnation of the world can't be changed by me alone, and I have to think about it myself." ”

I sighed and said, "What the master said is that I also want to go back, but now I know that I don't have long to live, and I don't want to go back to make him sad," I smiled faintly and said, "That's good, let him think that I'm still alive and well, and that's the best." ”

The abbot just sighed, just looked at the sunset, and didn't say anything. I slowly spoke, "Master, I have one thing to ask for. ”

The abbot looked at me kindly, and I smiled lightly: "If I am unfortunate enough to leave, the abbot will cremate me and let me go clean, and then find a quiet place to spread it, so as not to cause trouble." ”

The abbot was silent for a while and asked, "One more question, what about the emperor?" ”

I smiled and said, "Follow fate, see you in the next life, this life is difficult to resolve." The abbot just shook his head lightly and left. As soon as the abbot left, I relaxed a lot, and the heavy thoughts in my heart finally came out, and I also had a matter on my mind. The big stone at the bottom of my heart fell to the ground, and even my strength fell to the ground together.

The sunset over the mountain temple is the most poignant, the clouds that are engulfed by the blood-colored sun, and the staggered branches reflect the beauty of the stunning color.

I just felt that my eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, and it was difficult to breathe, but I still didn't want to miss the sunset, and just like that, in a flash, I suddenly realized that I was leaving. It's just that the closer I get to this end, the calmer I become, my unwillingness to not see Ah Han, my hatred of fate, and my resentment against the royal family all turned into clouds of smoke and flew away with the jackdaw.

I finally closed my eyes, and finally got rid of all the distractions. It's ironic, Ah Han, the most comfortable moment in my life was after I left you......

The prosperous dynasty under the sunset reflects the glory of glory, the person I have loved for a long, long time, I hope that you will no longer be an emperor in your next life.