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33 Like the pain of forgetting

What kind of sorrow, what kind of dreams and sorrows, what kind of pain in the heart, she just had to be at a loss in this kind of pain, in this pain and wandering, and the forgetfulness in this kind of pain and wandering was like looking for it, and it was such an empty space that could not be found.

A dream is empty, painful, and so sad, that is the pain of the whole body and mind from the heart to the body, that is the pain that the body and mind cannot escape, it will be the pain in the body as if every nerve is throbbing there, there is no choice, there is no resistance to the pain. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info

The pain, the pain in the body, is unavoidable, just bearing in the pain and pain of the heart twitching, just the pain and pain silently, without any choice, without any reason, just so without a reason, without any reason, so without any choice.

It's just that when the flow of pain sweeps through the whole body, in addition to being in such and such pain and suffering in silence, can it be so and so that it can be made and chosen again?

Dreams, so far away, so far and empty, flying away and empty, is the pain of loneliness and sadness, in the pain, every part of the wounded body and mind, or so there is no choice.

The emptiness in the memory, a forgetting in the blankness, the faint kiss in the memory of forgetting, the faint embellished on the cheeks like a dragonfly dotting water, but the calm heart lake is no longer calm.

The ripples in the lake of the heart, the burning of the cheeks, and then, so helpless, so delicate, so trance, so dissociating and spinning, spinning, and spinning, and so gently moving away, or so gently leaning on, and then, unstoppable tears.

She knew that she was too cowardly, she knew that she was too fragile, she also knew that she was not the time to cry, she also seemed to know that she should not cry yet, at this time, she should choose to be strong, not crying, but she just expected that there was something that could be tolerant, a little more tolerant of her pain and pain, and the tears of her sad and lonely pain.

In the intertwining and interweaving of pain and trouble, what is so difficult to find and what is so unfound, as if it is so and so that there are tears or tears, in that forgetting, wandering away, it is the dream scene that disappears and is far away, the emptiness and melancholy in the wandering of dreams, it is so silently endured, or something that is not very clear, it seems to be the same to each other, and it seems to be different from each other, why can't it be the same?

Why can't we start over like this? Why is it like this, why is it so entangled and painful, so bad, those true and false are all so true, and they are all so disparity, and they are all so unreal, there will be such and such a pain that seems to be forgotten, there is something like a good life and a heart-stirring pain, a heart-stirring pain, it is a distant pain, as if life is worse than death, and it seems that it is so and so much that it will never be possible.

It's always like this, you don't know right and wrong, you don't know right and wrong, you don't know good and bad, you don't know good and bad, you can't tell the difference, the good and evil of the world, you can't get it at will if you want to be clear, you can get it at will, it's a kind of pain, it's like a knife cutting the body and mind.

In such a way to cut the five internal organs, in the colic of the five internal organs, there is a pain that life is worse than death, in the pain and sadness, there will be something to separate, in the panic want to forget again, listening to the cry, you can't help crying, crying should be so far and how long, and so

It was a hopeless cry of knocking on the door, it was a cry and sorrow of knocking on the door without possibility or hope, but in that sorrow, just convulsions, in that convulsions I felt a kind of pain in human nature, what kind of torture I had, the helplessness in that torture, and in the torture, I asked about the meaning of life.

Life seems to be so meaningless, life seems to have lost its proper meaning, each can be the same, each seems to be similar, but it seems that there is always something the same and similar and unconsciously, there is something lost.

In the process of constant loss, the pain of continuous loss, continuous abandonment, and forgetting, with the pain of the body, silently and silently, as if enduring not only the pain of the body, but also the pain of the soul, and the pain of life.

Whether people live is only suffering, whether they are born to suffer, whether such suffering is so endless, and whether there is no end to suffering, and whether everything will become like this? What will be there is so far away, so far away that it seems to be out of reach.

Obviously a person who is so close to him, but he is already a person who is as cold as isolating from the world, he will be so sad, and what kind of indifference and determination, that cold and cold determination and alienation, not sadness and sadness can be relieved so easily.

The pain of life is like drinking a cup of bitter wine with a sad heart, the wine is bitter and astringent, and intoxicating, although it is very painful, the wine drinks the intestines, and it seems that the whole stomach and intestines will be burned to be melted, and burned to nothing.

There is something lonely, there is something far away, there is so much that you can't find it, in that journey that can't be found, so you have to be empty, you have to be so helpless to get empty sorrow, there is a rain of tears, it is the early spring with a cold motive.

Although it has a spring character, because it is early spring, the cold meaning, the cold weather, is also like the motive, and with such a rain, a cold and cold rain, in the end, I have to be so sad and painful, and I have no way to carry what kind of inexplicable and somewhat hateful pain.

She, once she was, she was so young, just braved the rain, braved the cold rain, ran so much, so forgot everything, as if she was going to run away like this.

She was just at that moment, at the moment when she stopped in front of him, he just had to bow his head so much, she just had to bow his head in front of him, and twitched and kept repeating: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." ”

"Girl, you...... No...... Such. He paused, but more and more powerless, the general powerlessness of the depressed and empty, he just looked at her so serenely and serenely, the doting words said, the indescribable tolerance and inclusion, he just said softly in the rain, in the cold rain, as if the words also had the power of warmth, "Don't be like this, you don't have to be like this, you shouldn't be like this." ”

"But it's really because of me that you......"

Just when she was panicked and wanted to explain something, he just put his hands on her shoulders, and his voice was still indescribably soft and warm: "I mean you shouldn't run over in the rain like this, just to apologize to me, let's go, let's go and hide from the rain." ”

"Yes, okay." She agreed, but felt that his steps did not move at all, and she asked with some hesitation and fear, "You...... Aren't you leaving? ”

She asked, with the trembling of her voice, and it seemed that it took him a while to hear her words, and as if, for a while, his leaf fell into the void as if he was not there, and it was as if he was standing next to Yin Ling and he was only left with an empty shell, and the heart in his body, and his heart, had long been shaky, and he had long since lost his mind.

What kind of pain is that, it is a kind of real and real feeling of the other person's heart, it is indeed not in the ears of sorrow and pain, but no matter hatred, no matter warmth, no matter care, it is still the same reluctance, the same reluctance and helplessness, the same unknown and blank.

There will be a blank where there is pain, pain and colic, there is so helpless, every action of struggle, is with the pain of life, there is no pain to struggle, it is not like a struggle, but such a struggle and pain of the day, it seems that it is not a day, just fear, the long-term fear in life, always so worried about life, always so worried, always so worried to live every day, It's like a dream, and you will forget the pain that will wander.

What is there in the nerves that is struggling with pain, those dreams, then it seems to be memories, and the memories seem to be blank, and in that blank there seems to be something so intermittently jumping out of some strange and strange pictures and pictures, and they all seem to be fake, as if everything seems to be an empty dream, but her empty fantasy is unreal, and everything is so unrealistic.

I don't know why, I don't know why, I can't find any other reason or reason, just so frightened, just so trembling with fear and trembling all over my body, the trembling of life, the cold trembling of the rain, that is completely gone.

Childhood is not necessarily too happy, nor is it necessarily very unhappy, but when people grow up, they always want to go back to their childhood, want to go back to the carefree time, just feel that they can do something carefree when they were children, and they can live without any ties.

And growing up is different, people are getting bigger and bigger, which means that the weight to bear is getting heavier and heavier, there will always be something to escape, what kind of want to escape, want to be afraid, want to be so afraid and avoid and hide, people have a kind of lazy psychology and feelings, but that seems to be understandable, but, after that, what kind of difficulty.

There are no simple things in the world, there is no thing that can be easily solved, things that can be easily completed, there is always something that needs to be paid, there are too many things that need to be paid, there is a need to pay for the original and essential labor and pay, but it is very difficult, and it seems to be so and so much more and more difficult.

Difficulties and difficulties but still seem to be so useless, as if they have paid, they have worked hard, but they still can't do it, they still can't do it, they still have no choice, they still have no room and opportunity to make a new choice, everything is still so impossible, and it is so impossible to do it, and it is difficult to work.

There is something free, there is a principle, and what has to be there is disappearing, the disappearing memory, like the rain of early spring that stopped like a winter rain, a rain that was a little chilly in early spring, when the rain stopped, under the eaves together, they had to hide from the rain under the eaves together.

I remember when he told her to go and hide from the rain, he still refused to leave, and she asked him why he didn't leave. What answered her was only his persistence and stubbornness, I must wait for that person, I want to get justice, and justice is my last hope.

"But what if justice can't be done?" She just cried and was melancholy, "I can't wait, if I go on like this, I will never be able to wait, since I know that I can't wait, but I still have to hold on to it, why bother?" She just wondered so incomprehensibly, "What is the point of persisting in it, persisting in such a difficult and difficult way to keep and persistently?" After paying such a great price and toil, and in the end, what can be obtained and what can really be compensated equally, will it be so easy? It's better to put it down first. ”

She comforted her, she was in the cold rain, just in the cold day of the wind and rain, just held the person she cherished, but never said a kind of care and touching from the mouth, she could not tell the mouth, nor did she know how to re-free and rescue, and then so wanted to let go, when she wanted to let go, but found that her hand was grabbed back, it was so tightly grasped.

He just held her hand so tightly, just so hard as if he had forgotten everything and everything in the world, just stood so hard in the cold rain and stared at each other for I don't know how long and how long, and in this gaze, as if he had forgotten his love, he was like a poor man who had forgotten everything, and he just kissed her hand like a drop of rain, kissed every slender finger, kissed the back of his hand, and kissed his palm.

She thought she was used to it, but when this scene was replayed in her mind again, or in the season of cold rain, she suddenly felt something warm on her face, and the warm current warmed some people, who had been warm, but suddenly disappeared again, and it disappeared and could no longer be found.

She forgot that she was still crying, but in the cold rain, she looked up, and looked at him with her head up, at the eyes that glowed like teardrops, and at the short hair, and at the blue hair, the blue light, like a wandering soul, and like the flame of anger and hatred, the flame of eternity that burned endlessly, the flame of eternal anger and pain.

She just looked at him like this, at his eyes with angry flames, and then she could only say some words that she could and had little practical effect, and when she kept something and couldn't, she would choose to give up so much, she would choose to give up so generously, but she didn't know why, and she didn't know when she started to get unbearable, she just had to tell him so freely: "If you don't go, I won't go either!" ”

"Fool, you're going to catch a cold." He trembled a little and felt extremely angry and said, "When is it, are you still playing a little temper here, can't you play a little temper on the occasion?" ”

"I ...... I'm not stupid! You're stupid! She was demented and sluggish, and as if she was not sluggish to retort quickly, "The great fool knows that he can't wait for the one to wait, but still waits there." ”

That waiting, as he once said, since you want to do it, you can do it, since you want to do it, then you have to be strong, if you don't do it, you will never get results, so, in order to make a name for yourself, in order to have the opportunity and possibility to get ahead, you have to do not give up so much, and you have to not give up easily.

When he comforted her and thought about her, she was also so at a loss and didn't know how to be good, she also wanted to pay for him, and wanted to do something for him again, and when she wanted to do something, but couldn't do something again, it was also a kind of pain and pain, but it was an unspeakable, or an unspeakable kind of pain that was clear, and this kind of transparency and transparency would still have a trance of the world for a while, and it would be a period of father's guidance.

In that cold rain, she missed her father so much, in that forgetfulness and loneliness, she would miss the lonely old man who stayed in her hometown, when most of the children were scattered, at that time, the pastime seemed to be slowly getting better, and when she wanted to get better, she was still so unconscious, and it seemed that there was something rupture and dissociation.

There is a process of selection, which is a knot and idea of choosing and being strong and continuous for slaves, but after the time and moment when the white flowers wither, she will still be so isolated and separated when she can't find anything, she is just so reluctant, but she is so helpless, and it seems that she can no longer find a way.

It's just that in that sorrow, helplessness in that place of heart-to-heart has not yet come to an end, and the change of seasons and topics in life has no end, as if it will be used forever?

Although it may not be completely so, there is still no reason to find it, and perhaps we should be looking for something new and a journey. The journey, the pain and helplessness that leads to the sky, the struggles, whether Dad says the newspaper is deceptive or not?

It's just that all of a sudden, I feel so much and so much incredible, but I still have to look for something again, but on the road and journey that I gradually find and discover, I have to find the possibility of re-looking for something, and I am looking for the possibility of re-searching for what can be persuaded and cared for again. and not the whiteness and glare of the light in that day.

There would be a time when she was so confused and it seemed like she had made a new mistake, but she felt that she was already wrong, and that there was no way back, and that she had to whisper and whisper to him what she had to say, but it was as if she had suddenly disappeared again.

There was some kind of pain in kowtowing, that was when he was pawned out, he disappeared and lost the whimpering maybe still so re-started with something in the cold winter rain. She said, let's help and defend each other together, definitely not easy and too easy and casual in the crowd and a period of helplessness.

Then, I had to look for something again, something that started again, as if I was in a dream, as if I had a picture in my mind that reproduced a kind of life, and that kind of picture was unreal.

Only who is in company, the real thing is that there is a lonely and lonely time will be missed, there is something to sign her hand, and also kissed those painful and happy times, but in that forgetting, in that seems to be completely so sad in the re-promise, and such a number, sometimes so much to find something, in that chance of a person under the sun.

It's just that what the truth cares about is so unfound, but it's not impossible. What is not necessary is work, and life always has to create chaos again, as if it was a long wait for a new and hope, and she also found that the tacit understanding between each other can be so unclear that for any reason want to find what purpose and direction from the heart, rain, cold falling.