Chapter 530: Born to Die

Early morning is the busiest time of the day for all kinds of breakfast shops in the streets and alleys. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info this point, Shanghai, known as an international metropolis, is no different from other small and medium-sized cities in the mainland.

In a certain alley, a small shop with a sign of "Xiao Wang Pot Stickers", which has been in business for more than ten years and is well-known in the neighborhood, is open as usual. With the sound of oil and water in a huge frying pan, another pot of golden beef potstickers is freshly baked, and the steaming heat and aroma mix and spread, seducing the sense of smell and taste buds of passers-by.

"Hey, give me three taels, I've been waiting for a while!" "Boss, I'll buy six taels, buy more, my little grandson is waiting to eat, can you let me take it first?" "I'll arrive first, give me two taels!" A group of people waiting to buy potstickers rushed up and snapped up them.

"Don't worry, don't worry, everyone has a share, don't worry, don't worry...... Manman, hurry up your hands and feet, give everyone a quick ......" The owner of the pot sticker shop turned out to be Xiao Wang, and now he is Lao Wang, forty or fifty years old, wearing a white chef's hat, with a greasy red light that has been smoked by oil smoke for a long time, and his facial features are quite weekly, but he is distributed on a chubby face and feels a little aggrieved, his expression is happy, holding the handle of the frying pan with one hand, and waving to the customer with the other hand to appease, urging his daughter who is helping on the side to hurry up.

"Hey, I know, I know, don't worry, don't worry, everyone has a share!" The girl named Manman responded crisply, but her hands and feet were not fast at all, she was still so slow and methodical, carefully loading the potstickers needed for the guests, first filling the potstickers in a disposable plastic box, and then using a stapler to staple the edge of the box after loading, and then pulling a plastic bag, putting the box in, tying a bow, and at the end often tidying up the shape of the bow, I was satisfied, and then carefully handed it to the customer.

"This kid, it's really called slowly, what about the boss, wait for Manman to get it slowly, this can be lunch directly, right?" Some old customers have long been familiar with this family, and they call the proprietress half jokingly and half complaining.

"Come, come, the child is more careful, everyone is careful! It won't keep you waiting! The proprietress hurried from the back kitchen to the front desk, with water dripping on her hands, obviously busy making potstickers, and estimated that she came over to help sell it after getting another pot of pots. The proprietress is much more skillful, and the daughter Manman has already done five or six customers when she packs a business, and the amount of change payable by each person is not bad. After a while, a large pot of potstickers has been sold out, the boss is hot for the next pot, the proprietress is free and goes to the back kitchen to make potstickers, and the new customers can only gather around the door of the store to continue to wait.

Many customers come to buy potstickers and take them away, while others simply eat them in the store. The shop is relatively small, with only a few small square tables in addition to the back kitchen and front desk, each with four or five simple plastic stools. The sauce provided by the small shop is also delicious, and the noodle soup is also provided for free, which is especially delicious to eat with potstickers, so there are still many people who are willing to endure this humble dining environment and eat potstickers in the small shop.

There were at least four people at the other tables, only two people at the innermost table. I wanted to sit at that table, but when I saw the person sitting at the table, I instantly changed my mind and changed direction.

On the innermost table, the slick-looking man aside, he was facing a bald head with five big and three thick, wearing sunglasses, a vest, bare arms, and a little tattoo pattern leaking out of his shoulders.

Most of the people who come here to buy potstickers for breakfast are the ordinary people in the vicinity, and when they see such an eye-catching character, they will naturally take a detour, and no one wants to find themselves unhappy early in the morning.

The bald man in sunglasses eats very slowly and deliciously, and sometimes looks up at the family that sells potstickers, or at the people around him, and the smile that appears at the corner of his mouth from time to time makes him look more like a bad guy with bad intentions. Some old customers have secretly wiped a handful of sweat for the owner of this pot sticker shop, thinking that this honest family doesn't know what bad luck has caused and what bad people are not messed with.

"Brother Li, I said so much just now, do you have something to say? Didn't we say we would deal with that stinky boy of Tianjiao together? The man who asked for a more gentle face at the table with the bald man was Wu Fei, who didn't have much heart to eat, and after chattering for a long time, he found that the other party didn't look at him at all, and reminded him a little unhappily.

This bald man is naturally Li Haoxiang, who Wu Fei thought he was very close to others recently.

Wu Fei was very unhappy in his heart. If Li Haoxiang hadn't had to have breakfast here, why would he have come to this place surrounded by oil smoke early in the morning? After all these years, the man in front of him seems to have become more and more eccentric in addition to his appearance, and he doesn't seem to want to see him at all, except for the time for breakfast. Anyway, he also played a little role in threading the needle for him to participate in the "Youth Cool Flying" program on Shanghai Satellite TV, if he didn't want to use the other party's power to suppress Tianjiao, he would not have looked at him with his usual eyes.

Wu Fei slandered in his heart, and he didn't dare to show it too obviously in his words, even if he was very unhappy, he had to pretend that he was just unhappy.

"Are potstickers delicious?" Li Haoxiang stared at Man Man, who was still slowly packing for the guests, and reluctantly gave a question that was not a response.

"Huh? It's okay. Brother Li, I'm not talking about this, you see ...... now" Wu Fei tried hard to pull the other party's thoughts to the topic he cared about.

"Something so delicious can't keep your mouth shut for a while." Li Haoxiang's gaze reluctantly withdrew his glance at the other party.

What are these words? What kind of look is that, disgusted that he disturbed his dinner, and he has only been on a few TV shows like this? I don't want to think about whether he can be selected to participate in the show without an acquaintance who introduced him to the TV station? Wu Fei's face was a little unbearable.

"Don't worry about Tianjiao's affairs, didn't I say it earlier? You can't have action until the live broadcast, the TV station watches it closely, and you can only listen to the TV station honestly when you record it, what else is there to talk about? Doesn't mentioning these shady things all day affect your mood? Li Haoxiang looked at Wu Fei's obviously gloomy face, and consciously and patiently explained a few words, although there was no trace of patience no matter how he heard this.

"I ...... Isn't it still necessary to discuss how to do it then? What steps to follow to brush Tianjiao's face, you have to think about it. Wu Fei said patiently.

"Have you thought about it?" Li Haoxiang asked rhetorically.

Wu Fei was stunned, "Not yet." I'm not looking for you to find a way......"

"Then you'll tell me when you're ready." At this time, Man Man took a look here and found that Li Haoxiang was also looking at himself, so he habitually smiled sweetly at him, Li Haoxiang also smiled and raised his hand and waved, and the dangerous image that the original creation of the living should not enter was suddenly broken.

"Manman, who is that man? Do you know? "There was an old customer who was waiting for the potstickers to come out and had the audacity to ask.

"It's a former acquaintance who worked with us for a while two or three years ago and is a very nice person. When he returned to Shanghai, he came to us to eat potstickers. Manman said with a wink.

As soon as the old patrons who were still blindly worried just now heard that they were acquaintances, they immediately breathed a sigh of relief, it turned out that it was not the old Wang family who was in trouble, but an acquaintance came to have breakfast, and they looked really crazy.

"Hey, Brother Li." Wu Fei finally couldn't help it, and said with a gloomy face, "This is your fault, listening to your tone is like it's none of your business?" We have all suffered such a big loss from Tianjiao, and we finally have this kind of opportunity, so we should work together to find a way to deal with him. To be honest, I've helped you a lot since you came to Shanghai, haven't I? When you go to a bar to apply for a resident singer, if you don't meet me, a regular customer of the bar, the boss won't beat you. It's that you have been singing for less than a month, and you don't like other people's rules and don't sing anymore, and I won't ask you for this favor, but you have to admit that I'm worthy of you, right? You sing so well, so when I knew that Shanghai Satellite TV's new program was looking for some contestants, I suddenly thought of you, a staff member of the program team is my buddy, he mentioned your situation to the director, and the director told the person in charge, and you will be on TV. I don't say this to make you grateful, how much brother I am, you know, don't you? ”

Wu Fei is not a lie, but he counted Li Haoxiang's application for a singer in a bar and his participation in Shanghai Satellite TV programs as his own credit, which is a bit too much. It's true that he's a regular at that bar, but he doesn't spend far enough to be a brother to the owner of the bar, and at best he nods his head. The boss hired Li Haoxiang entirely because Li Haoxiang's personal singing skills sounded good, and it didn't matter much to Wu Fei whether he interceded or not. Wu Fei also listened to Li Haoxiang's singing, and found that this person's singing skills seemed to be more powerful than before. It didn't take long to hear the friend who was doing chores on the Shanghai TV station say that the new show on the TV station was looking for contestants, and the judge was Tianjiao, Wu Fei hated it as soon as he heard Tianjiao's name, but he knew that he couldn't be selected, and secondly, his singing strength was indeed inferior to Tianjiao, so he thought of Li Haoxiang and thought that he should be able to disrupt Tianjiao's majesty on the show, so he immediately recommended Li Haoxiang to that friend. Wu Fei played a role in this matter, but Wu Fei's friend was also a supernumerary employee of the TV station, so he could only play a role in mentioning this matter to the director, and the reason why the program team chose Li Haoxiang was, of course, because Li Haoxiang himself and Tianjiao did have a huge potential to connect with each other.

Wu Fei loves to put gold on his face so much, Li Haoxiang is too lazy to care, he just feels very annoyed when he hears Wu Fei say so many things. "I participated in this show just for Tianjiao. I understand what you want me to do. Don't worry, I won't forget. ”

That's like a little talk. Wu Fei's face was slightly pale, his mouth cracked slightly, he suddenly thought of something, and commanded as a matter of course, "That's right, Brother Li, in yesterday's show, I watched that out-of-fashion artist called Chenxing stand out in the limelight, and last time he was with Tianjiao, I also made me very unhappy, I don't like him, you can find him by the way if you have a chance, and be stingy for me first." ”

Originally, Li Haoxiang was just eating potstickers slowly, but when he heard Wu Fei mention Chenxing's name suddenly, his face changed, and his eyes were so sharp that the other party didn't dare to look at him directly.

"Brother Li, what's wrong with you, you?" Wu Fei's heart trembled when he was glared at by the other party, and asked in confusion and panic.

"It's easy to say anything else, I can't do what you ask me to do. Chenxing, this person......" Li Haoxiang's expression became subtle, as if he remembered something from the past, "If you are kind to me, I won't do anything to him." This time I have the opportunity, and I have to think about how to help him. ”

"What? Does Chenxing know who you are? When did he become gracious to you? Wu Fei was surprised and couldn't help asking.

"No, he doesn't know me yet. If it weren't for this show, I wouldn't know who he was. But who was kind to me, I remember. Li Haoxiang didn't plan to say too much to Wu Fei, his eyes flickered, he woke up from his memories, and didn't say anything.

The more Wu Fei heard Li Haoxiang's words, the more strange he became. "He is kind to you, and he doesn't know you?" This guy can't be kidding me, is he? With Wu Fei's careful eyes, it is easy to think so.

Li Haoxiang glanced at him, knowing what the other party thought, and didn't plan to explain anything to this kind of person, still eating pot stickers and drinking noodle soup. After eating this meal, he symbolically said hello to Wu Fei, paid the money and left alone, making Wu Fei angry enough.

This Li Haoxiang doesn't take himself seriously at all, thinking about the absurdity, Wu Fei is really angry, anyway, he doesn't have to go to work in the morning, he looked at Li Haoxiang's back as he gradually moved away, frowned, and thought about it. Where does this guy want to go? It's better to follow him and see what he wants.

After making up his mind, Wu Fei quickly got up and stared at Li Haoxiang's back and followed secretly.

Manman, the little girl in the potsticker shop, saw this scene, looked at Wu Fei's actions curiously for a while, and was called back to her senses by the urging of the customer, and concentrated on fiddling with the potsticker packaging in her hand.

Li Haoxiang just had breakfast in the "Xiao Wang Pot Stickers" shop in an alley, along the alley to the north a few steps, to a slightly wider street, turn into the street and walk a hundred meters, to the intersection with the road, is a subway station. Li Haoxiang wandered there seemingly aimlessly, and entered the underground along the underground stairs.

Wu Fei followed behind and muttered, is he going to take the subway?

Li Haoxiang didn't take the subway, but just walked down the stairs and walked in the aisle for a while before stopping. There are some stalls in the subway aisle, and there are people dressed like dogs holding a card with a lot of words written on it. Li Haoxiang stopped at the side of the stall selling all kinds of women's hairpins, staring directly at the stall owner's position.

The stall owner was a middle-aged woman, thinking that this person wanted to buy something, and greeted warmly in Mandarin, which was not Shanghainese anyway, with an accent of unknown place, "Young man, do you want to buy a hairpin?" Buy a card for your girlfriend and make sure your girlfriend is happy......"

Li Haoxiang shook his head, walked to the open space next to the stall, stood against the wall, looked at the pedestrians coming and going in front of him, his eyes were empty, and he didn't know what he was thinking.

The stall owner has seen a lot of weirdos since he set up a stall, and seeing that Li Haoxiang does not look like his target customer, he immediately pays attention to other passers-by and ignores Li Haoxiang's strange behavior.

Li Haoxiang stood like this and kept his eyes empty for half an hour, and he had no intention of stopping. Wu Fei, who followed Li Haoxiang and hid not far away to observe secretly, was a little unbearable.

Is this guy having something wrong with his brain? What are you standing there in a daze? Or did he find himself? ……

Wu Fei was full of doubts, and after waiting for half an hour, seeing that Li Haoxiang seemed to have made up his mind to stay here today, he finally decided to give up.

Nima is simply insane!

Wu Fei scolded in his heart and left helplessly. Before leaving, he glanced back and found that Li Haoxiang was still in a daze, he was extremely discouraged. It's okay to follow him for a short time, but after a long time, just staring at a person there and doing nothing is more uncomfortable for Wu Fei than death. Seeing that he couldn't find anything to be guilty of, Wu Fei naturally had no reason to continue staring at Li Haoxiang.

In fact, Li Haoxiang didn't notice Wu Fei's stalking at all.

When Wu Fei suddenly mentioned Chenxing and walked away from the "Xiao Wang Pot Sticker" shop, Li Haoxiang consciously fell into a mood of reminiscence. The scenery along the way was so familiar and strange to him.

It's been three years.

For a metropolis like Shanghai, three years is enough time to change a lot of things, but there are also many things that have not changed. For example, "Xiao Wang Pot Stickers" is still there, and this subway station still exists.

Another example is that the person who helped him three years ago appeared in front of him in an unexpected way. That person should not have thought that his small act of kindness inadvertently helped Li Haoxiang understand what he had never thought of before, thus crossing the most important hurdle in his life.

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Three years ago.

In this subway station, where the middle-aged aunt set up a stall to sell card hairpins, it was none other than Li Haoxiang himself.

At that time, he had terminated the contract with Qingyu Media, an entertainment agency under Xiangsha Satellite TV, for five or six months. said that it was a termination of the contract, but in fact, it was equivalent to being kicked out of the company. He couldn't adapt to the company's entertaining artist packaging methods, and he didn't cooperate at all. Originally, he was not a high-profile show star, and he was not obedient, so of course the company did not want to see him. Not long after signing a contract with Qingyu Media, he was reduced to the point where he could only write songs and compose music for other show stars, not to mention the pitiful salary, the most unbearable thing for him was that he didn't have the right to sing the songs he wrote. This was completely different from what he had said when he signed the contract, he thought he could put up with the harsh treaties, but the reality was worse than he thought.

He wrote songs for a very popular Xiuxing in the Youth Entertainment Company at that time, and the Xiuxing was still popular at that time, except for the leaders of the TV station, everyone in the company looked like his tail was about to be cocked to the sky, especially for Li Haoxiang, a colleague who was not favored and had a little holiday with him in the previous draft competition, he was even more provocative. That Xiuxing tossed Li Haoxiang for three or four days for a song in the album he wanted to release, and he wanted to change this and that for a while, the lyrics and melodies were all reversed, and it was not a one-time mistake, and every mistake was accompanied by a long time of scolding and insulting. How can normal people stand this kind of fault-finding? What's more, Li Haoxiang is a guy who is very talented and arrogant, after being mean-spirited by this star again, Li Haoxiang couldn't hold back anymore, and beat that guy on the spot without any expectation. also thanks to the blessing of this Xiuxing, under his stalking, the company forced Li Haoxiang to take the initiative to terminate the contract and exempted him from liquidated damages. Of course, Li Haoxiang didn't want to do it himself. However, the company also has another clause that is very damaging, that is, he is not allowed to engage in commercial music creation for two years, and the news is spread to the outside world, which is equivalent to cutting off his back road. Even if some music production companies want to invite Li Haoxiang to write lyrics and songs, they have no idea when they hear this clause to avoid trouble.

Li Haoxiang didn't care about it at the time, until his family completely cut off his source of livelihood, and he realized how insignificant his former anger was compared to the coldness of the world.

This blow did not make him repentant as his parents expected, and since then he has been concerned about firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea to live an honest life as an ordinary person, Li Haoxiang chose a more extreme way of resistance.

After another quarrel with his parents and eldest brother, he closed his mouth and came to Shanghai with the guitar that he could not play proficiently with the last bit of money. When he advanced to the draft competition of Xiangsha Satellite TV and signed a contract with a youth entertainment company, he thought that he would never face this kind of confusion again, and he would no longer have to face his parents' doubts about whether music could support him, in the end, he still couldn't avoid this contradiction. To be honest, he was never so confused, he didn't know what to do next, but no one could help him. He wanted to go to a crowded place and maybe meet someone who could help him. He once wanted to go to Beijing, but he didn't have enough money, so he had to choose another metropolis, Shanghai.

He got out of the train station and got off the train at a station, and saw a young man playing a guitar and begging in the aisle, and he was inspired by the same.

Li Haoxiang also began to play and sing his original song more than a dozen steps away from the young man, and he sang better than the young man in terms of lyrics and singing skills, attracting some passers-by to stop and listen, and also gained some extra money. A few days later, the young man who set up the stall first teamed up with the young and middle-aged beggars nearby to beat Li Haoxiang in the dead of night, and broke the baby guitar that he had bought with a lot of savings.

That night, Li Haoxiang, who was full of pain and hunger, looked at the broken guitar and wanted to cry without tears, and from that moment on, he was extremely disappointed in the world.

The previous blow was already eroding his persistence little by little, and this matter was just like a gentle push on a dam that had been hollowed out by insects and ants, and it was only a matter of time before it collapsed.

The so-called ideals and enthusiasm are actually the most malicious traps set by fate. Because fate doesn't like ****, and people who are too obedient will only make it feel boring, so human beings are allowed to create all the beautiful imaginations and words such as life, hope, ideals, and courage, so that countless people can only pursue their hopes but in the end they can only watch these seemingly shining wonderful phantoms shatter from their hands one by one.

The great German philosopher Martin of the early 20th century? Heidegger has long said that survival is in the loneliness of the abyss, and life is nothing but a process of living towards death. No matter how much you struggle to climb mountains and wade through waters, you just go from one despair to another. The final destination for all people is death, which is perhaps the fairest place in the world, the difference is only sooner or later. Li Haoxiang once believed that the meaning of living to death is optimistic, and it is to urge people to grasp life and pursue the most beautiful meaning of their lives, so as not to live up to this short life that will eventually end. In fact, this sentence speaks of the coldest reality of life, the inescapable death, with an air of definitive pessimism that makes people unable to resist. Born of despair, abandoned by hope.

The of the mind that resist the malice of reality are destroyed, and the cold tide is enough to drown all enthusiasm. It was on that night that Li Haoxiang lost all his desire for music. He closed his mouth and said no more. He stared at the worn-out guitar for a long time, spat on his hand, evened out the dried blood on his face, dipped it in the blood, and wrote the words "Born to Die" in the place where it was still intact and flat, and added a shocking question mark to the end.

During the day, he sat silently in the aisle with his guitar. It did attract a lot of attention at first, and when someone threw him some change, he didn't pick it up. The other beggars took the opportunity to take it, and he did not react. Some people think that he is crazy, others think that he is just a performance artist, and no one would have imagined how painful and helpless this pale young man would be determined to make a final inquiry into the world in his own way.

Of course, in the eyes of 99 percent of the people, this question is more like a bad joke that is not funny at all, and one will think that he is insane.

Although he attracted some people to throw change, because other people took his money and did not speak, the beggars did not trouble him anymore, and gradually became a companion to him as the days went by. Sometimes he would leave him a little money for food, and sometimes the patrolling chengguan or police would notice him and wanted to take him to the aid station, but he shook his head and refused.

At first, Li Haoxiang would go to the nearby supermarket to buy the cheapest white flour steamed buns, and when the special price was only two yuan, four people could eat one steamed bun a day, and then it became one steamed bun for two days, and then one steamed bun for three days, and then he didn't take the initiative to find something to eat. If a beggar in the neighborhood was kind enough to throw him a piece of food, he would eat it, and if he didn't, he would be hungry for two or three days. , the longer I was hungry, the more I felt it.

He was getting thinner, and his hair and beard were getting longer.

After a few months, his hair and beard in a row changed completely.

The blood on the broken guitar had long since faded to the point where he couldn't see clearly, and he borrowed a missing fruit knife from a beggar he knew to engrave the words "Born to Death" and the question mark clearly, so that he wouldn't be invisible. In fact, there is no practical point in doing so, and no one is interested in what is engraved on the broken guitar next to a sloppy and smelly man. Many people smell the stench and walk away.

Li Haoxiang became more and more numb to hunger, but the beggars around him began to worry about his life and death. He fainted once, but soon woke up to find a young policeman in a panic who was going to take him to the hospital.

It may be that in the face of this situation, I don't care about anything anymore, I don't care about it anymore, and I don't care about it. Li Haoxiang threatened the little policeman angrily in a hoarse voice, "Leave me alone, otherwise I will shout at the police to beat people." You see there are people everywhere here, everyone has a mobile phone, and if you take a photo and upload it to Weibo, you can't eat and walk around. ”

The little policeman turned pale for a moment, glared at him deadly, and never appeared when he was awake.

In fact, Li Haoxiang did not envision coming to this point. When he came to Shanghai, he initially just wanted to find answers and make himself less confused, but after his guitar was smashed, he began to despair and stopped talking, but still had questions. He carved the question of life to death, perhaps still trying to find an answer, at least, wondering if there was anyone who was as full of the same questions about such a world as he was. It's just that day after day, no one pays attention to his problems. Ridicule and ridicule, incomprehension and fear, alternate on the faces of those who saw him. Of course, more people who walked past him just looked down at their phones, stingy with a glance.

They all thought he was a boring maniac.

In the bleak heart, a wave of anger gradually arose.

Li Haoxiang often silently watched everyone who walked by, no matter what kind of expression they looked at, he found that the faces of these people contained insensitive indifference.

Li Haoxiang sometimes really feels that he hates each and every one of them, every mortal who is so in such a hurry to beg for a living, and is indifferent to the future and dreams. They have no doubts, no ideas, they just want to live, to live better, and there is no other pursuit. How could they turn a blind eye to his questioning, his pain, his despair?

The world is so hateful.

Li Haoxiang knows that this kind of thinking is dangerous.

Thankfully, such a dark and twisted thought did not lead to more dangerous behavior. It just makes him angry, makes him paranoid, and makes him want to take this guitar that lives to death and test everyone who passes by until he dies.

That kind of emotion is very strange, knowing that I have gotten into some kind of bull's horns, but I can't get out, like a demon. Probably really crazy rhythm, if not dead.

Li Haoxiang was physically and mentally exhausted, stubborn and angry, and it was even more difficult to withdraw from this paranoia.

He was groggy, confused, inexplicably sad and angry, but his consciousness was extremely clear, and his body and spirit were at their limit. He knew in his heart that this state would not last long, and perhaps this was the precursor to imminent death.

Just die like this, and die with a lot of questions and anger about the world. If someone else finds his body, he won't have any other reaction than indifference.

Sometimes Li Haoxiang thinks of Tianjiao. What comes to mind is not resentment such as "It's all Tianjiao who has harmed him to this point", but deep pity. What would happen to a guy like him if one day he was as useless as himself was to those who took advantage of him?

Tianjiao's enthusiasm is not inferior to his own talent, what he lost to him is not talent, but for the TV station, Tianjiao is more useful to win the championship.

Li Haoxiang did envy the unscrupulous enthusiasm and innocence revealed by the other party's music.

It's a pity, whether it's yourself or Tianjiao.

Li Haoxiang waited for his final outcome with such thoughts. Blurred eyes...... Then, a man came over.

It's just one of the countless pedestrians who are approaching and walking away.

Li Haoxiang is used to such footsteps and disagrees.

The foot in the white sneakers stopped in front of him.

I don't know how long it stopped, it didn't seem to mean to go, even Li Haoxiang was a little impatient, and couldn't help but look up.

It was a young man in a predominantly white tracksuit, with a clean face and eyes. That's not the point. What made Li Haoxiang feel disgusted for no reason was that the other party was holding a potsticker in his hand and was eating it carelessly. The way he eats is not ugly, it can even be said that it is a little indescribably elegant, the little oil on his fingers and lips reflects the light, swaying slightly in front of Li Haoxiang, and the greasy aroma of frying is also undisguised.

When he decided to say goodbye to this hateful world like this, this guy actually ate unconsciously in front of him? And eat so with relish! I still eat for so long and I just refuse to leave!

The young man looked at Li Haoxiang with a little restrained surprise in his eyes. After meeting Li Haoxiang's eyes, he seemed to confirm something, so he breathed a sigh of relief, smiled slightly, nodded to the other party, and said hello with some apologies, "Hello?" ”

Li Haoxiang speculated whether this young man thought he was crazy before, and he wanted to confirm whether he was really crazy after a long time of ink here. Bored guys. Smelling the fragrance of the potstickers, Li Haoxiang was even more annoyed in his heart.

"Born to die?" The young man was unaware of Li Haoxiang's inner activities, squatted down, his eyes turned from Li Haoxiang to the words on the broken guitar beside him, his expression was a little moved, and he looked at it quietly for a long time before he asked, "Are you troubled?" Do you want to ask someone else or yourself? ”

Li Haoxiang has long had no hope for others, and he was not as excited as he imagined for this rare young man who finally noticed his problems, but felt that the other party had a lot of things. So many people walked over as if they couldn't see it, how could he see it? If you want to kill time, go find something else to do, and don't bother your last time.

Li Haoxiang looked at him contemptuously, didn't look at the other party's face, and his eyes stopped at the potsticker in the other party's hand with a little arrogance. For some reason, after seeing the young man's slow and methodical eating, his already numb hunger gradually rose. So he didn't want to look at the young man's face, but as soon as his eyes fell on the perfect golden potsticker, his hunger seemed to be worse, and some burning illusions appeared in his stomach.

Li Haoxiang hurriedly looked away and swallowed his saliva unconsciously, his actions were discovered by the young man.

"You want to eat this? I ate one, and the others were not touched. Shall I give it all to you? You don't look good, haven't you eaten in a long time? The young man kindly held up a box of potstickers in his hand and handed it over.

Li Haoxiang still didn't make any moves. He wanted to refuse, but it took a lot of effort to even raise his hand. I can't tell how long it's been since I've eaten a bite.

The young man was not angry, seeing that he did not speak, he carefully placed the potsticker next to Li Haoxiang, close to the guitar.

"I see, do you have a problem with your voice and can't speak? That's why it's engraved on the guitar. "The young man was self-righteous and self-righteous, and he found an explanation for Li Haoxiang's non-speech." Born to die? I've seen articles about this, and this is a point made by a German philosopher. A friend of mine once mentioned this to me, and the first time I heard it, I thought, this is too pessimistic, but I can't refute it. Because people are born destined to die. This is true of all life. Many people feel that it is precisely because they are aware of this that they should cherish life more. Don't you agree with this point of view? Actually, I'm a little confused, no matter how I explain it positively, living to die sounds very pessimistic......"

Li Haoxiang glanced up at the young man. It was the first time that someone had noticed the words on the guitar and started talking to him.

"Actually, in addition to living in death, there may be more things that people have to worry about......" The young man's expression suddenly became a little desolate and gentle, as if he remembered some past.

Not far away, the sound of the subway arriving at the station sounded.

The young man suddenly woke up, looked at the entrance of the subway, scratched his hair back, and smiled embarrassedly at Li Haoxiang, "I'm sorry, I said something inexplicable, it didn't help you." I'll go first. Ah, by the way, that, it's better to eat potstickers while they're hot. ”

The young man hurried to the subway entrance.

What does it mean to leave without saying anything? Li Haoxiang, who was still waiting for the other party to say the following, rose a little more. Then I felt sad. The young man was the only one who noticed his "life to die" question, and he seemed a little annoyed, but not as strongly as he was.

What potstickers? Still eating it hot? Are you a casual beggar? I won't eat it.

Li Haoxiang turned his head. But the aroma of the potstickers continued to attract him. He finally turned his head and watched steadily, watching the curling heat gradually dissipate, and before he knew it, he hadn't noticed the people walking by him for a long time, and he had forgotten the dark emotions such as vague anger and hatred towards the crowd before. Until the potstickers have cooled for a long time, he seems to be able to smell the aroma of the food that lasts for a long time.

Li Haoxiang, who was still sober, restrained his impulsive appetite and confronted the potstickers for a day. In the middle of the night, he seemed to be awakened by hunger, with potstickers at hand, and when he was dazed, he grabbed it in a daze and ate it in a few bites, and when he was about to finish eating, he suddenly felt excited, and woke up completely, perceiving a greasy aroma full of mouth, and his stomach was filled with a sense of fullness that had not been felt for a long time, and there was a faint pain that was not uncomfortable, which was caused by not eating for two or three days.

Li Haoxiang woke up and immediately got out of anger, forgetting his despair, and his body and mind were completely only resentful of the young man he met during the day. That nosy guy is here to disturb his last peace, right?