Why not write two or three thousand? Maybe many people don't have the patience to read it, right? An An still hopes to meet friends with texts, and find friends who can patiently read An An's verbose words, hehe, I'm sorry, please forgive An An's stubbornness. Pen? Interesting? Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 info垜垜...... PS: Ask for clicks, ask for favorites, ask for recommendations, ask for votes, ask for evaluations, ask for support, and be grateful! Thank you for your support!

47 as if isolated

What can't be approached, what can't be found, what will be hollow, the melancholy emptiness of the heart, and the empty heart that is a little lonely and the same, but for a while, it seems that it has lost some words, but it is just a vacant and empty thing that is difficult to find, and it seems that it is so unfound, and everything is so unreal, not real enough.

There is something that is destroying there, as if it is the breeding of destruction, and it is like in the destruction and destruction of destruction, what kind of destruction there is, what kind of painful destruction, what kind of dissociation, what kind of impassing, what kind of thing cannot be done, and what kind of thing is like such a long-term and long-term impossible.

There is something near, and it seems to be something that cannot be approached, as if it is death that cannot be approached, as if the air is full of the breath of destruction, as if it is painful and sad, and what kind of pain is unbearable, what kind of pain is not known, and how is it good to be so and so?

It was a long, long memory, a vague and trance-like memory that had passed for a long time, and it was like a trance and an unsearchable memory.

What kind of decay of memory, the wounds and passing in that decay, will be so hard to find, so hard to find, as if there is something that can no longer be found, as if it is something that can no longer be done, as if it is something that can no longer be done, as if it is something that can no longer be done in such air. What is struggling. Something to fly.

Does the snow-white dove represent faith? Does it represent a dream? Does it represent the love that flies? Oh, that's just a delusion, whether it's a pigeon or a crow, if it's released, it's flying away.

And what flies away, what flies away, is what can no longer be found, what is so impossible to find, what is so impossible. There is too much impossibility, there is too much contempt, there is too much untruth, there is too much disbelief in the heart, there is so much unstable pain.

The more unstable the heart, the more the heart trembles, when the heart is afraid and there is no mistake, and suddenly I find that I am just so elusive and untouchable of my own heart, it is difficult to find my own mind floating around and wandering out of a trance, then it is like a trance like a dream.

What kind of thoughts do you have, what kind of feelings seem to float away, that is the gossamer of memories that float away, and there is a figure that seems to be walking into the shadows. With whom, a little weak and cowardly, she thought about anticipation, thinking about what to rely on. In that there is nothing that cannot be traced.

What is there to be melancholy, where there are feelings of bitter memories, when what kind of emotions and emotions are mixed with bitter emotions and feelings, it begins to change so much.

There began to be something there, and unconsciously, what kind of quantitative change began to occur, and in that quantitative change, the qualitative change began to breed again, and there were too many to find.

Because there are too many kinds of irresponsibility, in the midst of that large number of irresponsible, what kind of evasion, what kind of evasion, in that ordinary daily life also began to become chaotic. In the chaos of everyday life, I felt the disaster, what a painful disaster.

What kind of weight on that shoulder began to become heavier and heavier, it was a very ordinary and ordinary difficulty in daily life, but it was a very helpless quarrel. It's a quarrel that grows, grows, and is there without stopping.

Is it just a quarrel in the midst of the chaos of returning home, the pain and chaos of home, the great distress and pain of life? Is it just embarrassing?

Just angry? Is it just that powerless? Started to dodge? Started hiding? It's life with my family, and there's still some chaos with my family, and it's so difficult to do. Difficulties and troubles are so long, so long, so long.

It's always so trance-like and messy. In that messy daily and trivial life of troubles and worries, there is nothing that cannot be found there. It's something you can't find there. And then there's what is lacking, there's something that's gone, there's something that's gone, there's nothing to be found. It's something you can't find anymore.

Wandering is the light of the candle, what kind of candle is the faint light, what kind of candle is the trembling light, what you want to work hard again, and what you can't work so hard. Life is no longer so empty talk.

When life wants to go deep into the trivialities and messiness of life, it is a lot of trivial troubles, a lot of trivial and helpless troubles, but there is nothing powerless in that trouble, just sleepiness and fatigue in that trouble.

It's like the complete powerlessness of the heart, the tiredness of the heart, the tiredness and fatigue of the heart, the long-term tiredness of the heart, the long-term sleepiness and death of the heart, the same thing that wants to die is no longer looking for anything, no longer looking for anything, people will be tired, they will be tired, they will be tired, it will be so exhausted, it is so full of holes as if they will not love anymore. It's like I'm so powerless to love anything anymore.

The burning flame in the love of hard work is still so finally turned into dust, into dust, that is almost almost disappearing like dust blowing with the wind, so completely disappeared, completely disappeared and difficult to find.

It's just that the struggle in the mess, the re-searching in the mess, is so trying to find the root of what can be found, but it is so sudden that I can't find the root, and I can't find the direction and possibility.

There are too many impossibilities, too much, too many deceptions and mistrusts. What is picked up again in that powerlessness and weakness is what is re-lifted in this way, a scene of forgetting and searching for memories again in fatigue and fatigue, and then looking for something quietly in what way.

Still like this and not giving up, some are hard-headed, some are struggling to move forward, the struggle cannot be let go, the struggle cannot be stopped, and the struggle seems to be so and so can never give up and give up. It's just so sad, it's just so re-searching, in that heart of burnout and exhaustion, it's just so no reaction, it's just so no reaction at all.

Some are stunned, some are confused, some are empty, on the road that is impossible to find, on the road that is no longer searching, she, alone, alone on the road and journey, she is forgetting but it is such a long and long forget, it is an unknown forget, there is an unknown ballad, it is an unknown ballad, it is an unknown ballad, it is a song that cannot be found.

The ballad swirls in the air, the ballad swirls in the empty air, it is the whirlwind of struggle, it is the effort of struggle, the effort of struggling and not giving up. I used to be so patient, I used to be so reluctant to blame something, I didn't easily resent something, I felt tired in not blaming, trying not to resent, I was so physically and mentally exhausted, I was so tired, I was tired and tired as if I was about to die.

When any strength flows out of the body like blood, it is like gurgling out, what kind of horror is still there, what kind of fear is still there, and in that fear and terror, I am looking for the possibility of my new life again.

Occasionally, there will be something that I can't look past and something that I can't look at as expected, and I seem to know something there, and I don't want to admit anything anymore, because of what kind of price will be paid. Do you suddenly feel like you're doing something wrong?

For a while, I seemed to have doubted my own mistakes, but I still shook my head, waved my hand, and blinked my eyes, as if everything had long since disappeared, and I couldn't find it for a long time. It was a place of forgetting, and what a kind of disaster it was.

It's the chaos of the disaster, it's the death and silence of the ruined one, what kind of connection happens there, what kind of connection effect, like the chain of action, like the chain of things that don't stop and stop, what is produced, and what is produced is what is reproduced in this way.

What has been re-piled up, what is so completely blank, what is so unreal. It's like saying goodbye to something like this. The farewell seems not to be a relative, the farewell is not a hometown, the farewell is not a close friend, and the farewell is not a lover.

The clouds are light and the wind is light, and the clouds are gently drifting, and what is in the memory is gently swirling there, just like the simplest whirlwind, and the most monotonous, but in the white sunshine, it seems so gorgeous, so sad and lonely, cold and cold, it is a white and lonely gorgeous.

The magnificence of dust in white loneliness. It is sad and small to dust, it is the magnificence of low-key progress, the dance of a person when he is alone, even a person can dance the waltz that belongs to him so gorgeously.

What kind of memories do you have, what kind of care you have, and what you have comes, what you go, and what you don't see. Came and went, gone and disappeared.

Everything seems to come to an end like this, as if it were a complete end. Not perfect. The fragmented is broken and heartbroken, not perfect. It's like a vase that is a copy of the original book, suddenly broken, so shattered into pieces, so broken, so completely broken.

It's as if something is wrong when it's broken and broken, it's impossible and impossible, it's like that, it's completely and completely destroyed. Is that total destruction? Again, it seems unclear what is going on.

There seems to be something in the midst of no concern, and it weighs heavily on the heart, and it weighs so heavily on the heart, and it is also so heavy on the heart's powerlessness and sadness.

It's still going to be so overwhelming, it's still going to be so overwhelming, it's still going to be hopeless, there's something that's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone.

The woman smiled softly, and at the same time, the woman, the woman who looked at her smile, felt a wave of disgust, a wave of disgust, just listening to the laughter and feeling disgust, maybe the laughter was too charming, too demonic, too delicate, or maybe the laughter was too contrived.

People can't be so true, if they are too true, they will easily be so completely injured, and in the midst of that painful wound, it is still so difficult to find themselves, and they can no longer find themselves, and they are lonely when they can't be found.

When I can't find it, I feel pain, and I lose my mind when I can't find something. Feeling powerless, feeling dizzy, like this is like going down in the next second, falling down in the next second, falling, fainting, falling, that's the wound, that's the pain there, where it's forgetting, what kind of long-term forgetting, what is lost in that forgetting, what is lost in that forgetting, what is not close in that forgetting, what is there is not real there, it is false.

However, it doesn't seem to be hypocritical, nor can it be said to be true. It's not very fake, it's not true, the real life and reality still need a mask, the reality of survival, the real world that must live still needs a mask so much, or a shell that can protect yourself, otherwise, it will be so easy to get hurt, and it will be so easy to be injured.

In the powerlessness and weakness of the wound and pain, there is less resentment, and it is not that there is no resentment, but there is no power to resent. Resentment doesn't save anything, resentment only aggravates one's emotional unhappiness.

In that unhappiness, the only choice is to adjust oneself, and it is like this to find one's own adjustment again, to adjust oneself, to change oneself again. In the darkness that seemed to swallow up his heart.

It's like that, as if what kind of feelings have been lost, what kind of enthusiasm has been lost, what kind of hope and nostalgia have been lost, as if what kind of hope and nostalgia are blank, so impossible to find, so narrow in the darkness, in that darkness, there is what kind of whirling there, there is no stop spinning around, she just feels powerless in that place, feels helpless.

When love, what kind of love loses its temperature, what is left after it loses its hot feelings, when the hot feelings recede like a tide, it is just a shriveled something, just the bare and damp riverbank, what is a kind of desolation?

Or is it a kind of powerless loneliness and helplessness? But there she wandered, lonely like a wandering soul in the streets of the night, and she seemed to wander from the street to the river, from the river to the palace, from the palace to the emperor's arms.

She was so blessed by the emperor. Pampering seems to be good, but, after that game-like entertainment, there is still a kind of emptiness and loss of the heart. Especially when she was alone in an empty and very large room, she felt only depression, but more anger and resentment.

It was her own choice, she wanted to get the face of the Spirit, because she was disfigured, she wanted vanity more, she wanted glory and riches, she wanted a lot and a lot, but in the end she found that what she got seemed to be all she wanted.

However, she lost so much, as if she had lost all the things she had wanted to cherish and seek so much. When everything, everything, everything, was gone, nothing could be found, nothing could be found, nothing could be found, she seemed to begin to doubt herself.

Doubting whether she had chosen the right choice or the wrong choice, she even wondered suspiciously, whether she was going to regret it? And then choose a quiet and quiet life again?

Just as she was leaning on the edge of the bed and thinking about something in a trance, someone's voice rang out at the door: "The imperial concubine, the queen has arrived." ”

What the? The fish spirit that turned into a spirit was just there in a daze, she was a little confused and puzzled, she had to work so hard to calm her mood, no matter who came, she should greet and treat it calmly.

She wasn't even afraid of the emperor, she was afraid of the queen, she just muttered in her heart with some gritted teeth, and on her mouth, she said heavily and connotatively: "Okay, hurry up!" ”

When the door was opened, when a group of eunuchs and women surrounded a young and beautiful woman with a quiet and elegant demeanor, I saw her slowly pacing small steps towards the fish spirit. The fish spirit hurriedly bowed to her and said: "The concubine greets Niangniang, Niangniang is a thousand years old, a thousand years old." ”

"Yin Ling Guifei is alive." The beautiful and noble woman still looked elegant and said, "You don't have to be too polite, you don't have to be too polite, you don't have to be too polite, it's just that you and I treat each other as sisters in private." As she spoke, the queen slowly picked up the fish spirit that looked like a spirit and said, "I heard that the emperor has been coming to your palace to sleep recently." ”

"This ...... What does the queen mean...... The concubine is stupid and doesn't know what Niangniang means? The fish spirit Yin Ling was a little nervous and said, "Does the queen miss me ......?"

"Don't be so afraid, we are all sisters, don't be so alarmed." The queen still said calmly, "I just want to persuade my sister, this ** more than 3,000 concubines, who doesn't envy you who are pampered, but how long is the pampering, perhaps, it's not just this that matters, right?" ”

"Huh?" The fish spirit was a little puzzled, she really couldn't imagine how this queen mother, who almost never met, suddenly met, was so attentive when she met for the first time, what kind of medicine was sold in this gourd, she wouldn't want to do it, but, if she really wanted to, she didn't have to look so good at all, and she had to be suspicious of the fish essence, and the fish spirit just replied vigilantly, "So what does the queen mean?" ”

"The Prince." The queen said categorically. The fish spirit also remembered that the queen and the emperor also had some children, but they were all little princesses, very cute and obedient little princesses, but they had always had no princes, and whether the other concubines had ever been pregnant, she didn't inquire very clearly.

Just as the fish spirit was pondering, she heard the queen ask again: "Good sister, are you pregnant?" ”

Ah, it turned out that I was inquiring about this, and sure enough, I didn't have any good intentions, and the fish spirit gritted her teeth in her heart, but what came to her heart was more fear, and she didn't remember where she heard it.

"As long as the concubine is favored, as long as she is pregnant, as long as she is known by the queen, she will be stabbed in the stomach, and the child will definitely be stabbed off, the good thing is that the child is stabbed off, and the bad one is that the mother and child are all killed!" The fish spirit just looked at the quiet smile on the queen's face, and her whole body suddenly felt cold and shivered, and in that nervous trembling, she inadvertently told the truth: "I don't know if I'm pregnant." ”

"It doesn't matter, I'll verify it for you." The queen still said with a smile on her face, "Pass the imperial doctor up." ”

"Huh." A eunuch answered behind him. The echo echoed outside: "Pass the imperial doctor to the temple." ”