I still remember the last time I watched a sunset through the window on the train home, and I remembered the sunset at that time, which fell gently on my hands through the cracks in the simple curtains, and fell from the shadows of the whistling trees, and already had the warm orange and yellow of autumn. www.biquge.info The train passes through large areas of plains, autumn fields, corn fields have to bury the small houses, sunflowers are planted on the ridges from one to the other, bright golden, and there are no people on the fields, only the wind that I can't feel, the form of the wind is a neat wheat wave, such a scene, just like I saw many years ago, is also the way I dreamed.

Some thoughts and feelings may be the best result if they are not expressed in words, I know that everyone is a big fish in the sea of stars in the sky, we are all the main gods in different planes, looking at each other across the sea but not flying, until now I still can't restore the picture of my aunt's death, my aunt's departure is the only time I face death, I am not at the scene, but I have been trying to restore the feeling at that time for many years, to make everyone understand, it is still difficult to do, language has always been an intermediary, It can carry your thoughts, but also express your wishes, he can magically turn the chemical changes in your brain into small words on the paper, whether it is the undulating tone or the deep thoughts, this feeling is always a little worse, expression is an interesting thing, once it is stupid, the recipient does not understand what the real you are like, the advanced pretender is usually an expert in language, and I am not a qualified expressor, I can't express my real thoughts, I can't even see myself clearly.

For a while, I was obsessed with the masters like many people, I tried to feel what the masters thought, tried to copy the master's code of conduct, but I couldn't reach the level of the masters, I couldn't reach the realm of the masters, and then I thought that I just knew their minds in the books, even if I was very talented in the language and understood everything they said, but could I feel the emotional side of them when they wrote these words, can I know if they wrote these words in tears, or wrote them with a smile, Can I feel their sudden pathos, we only focus on one place and want to extract the "weapon" we need from them to deal with the warmth and coldness of the world, sadness, happiness, thinking, sudden melancholy, contradictions, pulling the wind and clouds, mountains and rivers growing, leaving behind what they don't need.

For myself, the useless ones that I couldn't take on the road all went to the paper mill and the city in the sky, and finally found that what I needed most was what I needed the most.

It's not that I express it badly, it's not that you accept it badly, it's just that we still lack feelings other than words, no forehead to forehead, no tentacles to antennae, I don't taste joy and sorrow from feelings, and you are the same, we all lack the innate heart and soul.

Because of the lack of it, I really haven't restored the process of my aunt's death, because I really haven't experienced such a cruel process, and Ke'er never mentioned everything she saw with her own eyes, she just said that she died for a fish, it's not worth it, I can only imagine that kind of picture, I always think about the confusion of time and space, go to that point in time to see, in the face of death, how do you do it, let me know the truth.

The impression of trance is generally false, I went back to that afternoon, the adults were pulling the fishing nets in the distance, the steamboat was like an asthma old man out of breath, the sound was very loud, Ke'er watched the aunt jump into the water to chase the injured big fish, Ke'er didn't reach out to stop her from dying, the fish wanted to go home, how could it be easy to follow you back, Ke'er just stared blankly at the bubbling water, so frightened that he couldn't say a word, just waved his hand in the direction of the adults, and waited until people found out about the situation here, but he can never bring back his aunt.

I always thought that Cole's "dance" and the steamboat singing that day were the most beautiful performances, and you think so too! Auntie, Curle just stood there dancing the most beautiful dance with the whistle, you looked up at her dancing among the clouds in the deep sea, the light brought her to you, the picture flowed in your eyes, more textured than Van Gogh's oil paintings, you hated running bubbles to spoil this wonderful picture, so you held your breath and watched quietly, you walked towards the abyss, you revel in this feeling, and then you tasted all the cold, you let go of your body, let it eat your limbs, let it cut your long silky hair, Let him paralyze the lungs you use to breathe, let it pierce your young heart, let him take away your smile, your sincere prayers, but live forever under the ice, you wander with the big fish, go to its homeland.

I closed my eyes, the fantasies were not real, I preferred to believe that she was still living somewhere in the world, commuting to work, weaving, milking cows, or farming.

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