"Do you hate me?"

In the dark night, Sun Zhongguo squatted on his seven acres of land, touching the cold wheat seedlings. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

"I don't know..."

Sun Hao lit a cigarette for himself, and the fireworks flashed in the night, reflecting a self-deprecating laugh.

Does he hate?

He doesn't know either?

Perhaps he hated his father's attitude more at that time, in other words, he could take the initiative to ask to bear the burden of the family, but he couldn't accept his father's request for him.

Asking yourself to drop out of school and asking yourself to work hard to support your family?

To be selfish, it is to cut off his future and pay for his parents' original choice.

"Why? Why should I be sacrificed, I am your own son. ”

This was what he thought when he was younger.

But this thought immediately brought him a resounding slap in the face.

"Just because she's your sister, just because she's your family." The father glared at his son angrily, not at all distressed by the red marks on his face.

"Since you don't have the ability to raise your sister, why did you pick it up in the first place? Why do you make me suffer the consequences of your choice? The son covered his face, and his green face was full of anger.

"Smack" is another slap in the face.

"There's no why, just because you're an older brother" The father looked at his son in a complicated way, and looked at his son with tears in his eyes.

"And what about you or your father?" The son roared angrily, turned and ran away into the distance, and as he ran, he couldn't hold back his tears anymore.

Thinking of this, Sun Hao took a deep breath of smoke, and the fireworks briefly illuminated his face, thin as a blade, it was a pig-killing knife of the years, carving many marks on his face.

He remembered that he was also talking on his seven acres of land that day, and after his father beat him, he ran to a hidden place and cried bitterly, staying all afternoon, when he was exactly 18 years old.

"Brother, I guess you're here"

A handsome little girl slammed into her brother's back from behind, hugged her brother's neck and said happily, "Our dad said he couldn't find you, I guessed you would be here." ”

The elder brother felt the weight of his sister on his back, and anger appeared in his eyes instantly, but after listening to his sister's words, this anger was unwilling, unwilling, and slowly extinguished.

In fact, this place is not hidden, and the reason for the concealment is that compared to adults, for children, it is a place where everyone secretly comes to play.

In childhood, every child has a hidden place, and this place is exactly where the older brother often brings his younger sister to play.

My brother is three years older than my sister.,When I was a child, my brother was my sister's protector.,My sister was my brother's follower.。

At this time, he heard his sister's voice, and he unconsciously remembered that every time he fought for his sister when he was a child, he would hide here no matter whether he won or lost.

I won the battle and hid here because I was afraid that my father would beat me.

He hid here because he was afraid that his mother would pull him to sue, he hated it, and he thought it was a shame.

When he wins, he will brag to his sister and pat his chest to ensure that he will protect his sister for the rest of his life.

When she loses, her sister will dig up some wild painkillers, which have thorns, and her sister will crush the grass in pain, and then smear it for her brother little by little.

"Just because you're an older brother"

Suddenly, my brother seemed to understand what his father meant, but why was he still reluctant, unwilling, and uncomfortable?

What are you reluctant to give up?

Unwilling to what?

Uncomfortable with what?

But this feeling is so complicated, but it's also so real......

"Brother, I'm home." My sister still said happily, "You didn't get admitted to college this year because of a car accident, and my dad asked you to go back to school tomorrow to review." Haha, I'm so happy, when school actually starts, I'm also in high school, and I'm finally in the same school with my brother again. ”

After hearing this, my brother was shocked, and his heart was like a turbulent wave.

"Father still loves himself after all?" My brother closed his eyes and held back tears.

"But what about my sister?"

"She doesn't know how serious her condition is right now, and that severity is likely to empty the family, what the hell am I going to do......"

…

Thinking of this, Sun Hao took another deep puff of cigarette and slowly exhaled the smoke in the dark night.

"I do hate, but I don't hate you"

Sun Zhongguo, who was squatting on seven acres of land, was stunned after hearing this.

"I hate that the world is unfair, I hate that good people are not rewarded, and I hate that fate cannot be decided by myself."

After Sun Hao said this, he vigorously popped out the cigarette butt, and said no more, looking at the night sky in confusion.

"Hey..."

After Sun Zhongguo was stunned, he sighed heavily, dragged a handful of wheat seedlings from the field, and couldn't help but stand up,

"What is the fate, I don't know?" Sun Zhongguo looked at the wheat seedlings in his hand distressedly, "I have planted the land all my life, and from planting to harvesting, its fate seems to be controlled by me." But I never dare to underestimate it, on the contrary, I have to be in awe of it and grateful to it, just because it has nurtured us for generations, and it has its value. ”

After a pause, Sun Zhongguo threw away Mai Miao and looked up at the starry sky: "If there is really fate, then I also believe that our fate must have value, if we are confused, if we are in pain, it is because we have not played out, so we have been abandoned by the lord of fate." It's like a weed in a field, it's worthless, so I clean it up. ”

After Sun Hao heard this, he was speechless for a while, and his father's sudden translation of words shocked him slightly, but this shock did not dispel the haze in his heart.

To put it simply, the past is gone, and he doesn't want to go through the old accounts anymore.

But in ten days he will grow old, and a new sword of fate will hang over his head.

This sword of fate, he can't see the value?

I don't know if I will be abandoned by my master if I have no value?

Is it abandoned by his family or his wife?

But he did, and he didn't regret it, just like when his father really asked him to repeat his university entrance examination, he refused, and he left home the next day with his luggage.

I want to ask him what is reluctant, unwilling, and uncomfortable in his heart?

In fact, what he wants is nothing more than an attitude, as long as he has an attitude, he is willing to do anything for his family and wife?

Obviously, Liu Lu's attitude is worth his doing, and his father still lacks an attitude.

"I'm sorry..."

Sun Zhongguo unexpectedly handed Sun Hao a cigarette and pretended to be casual.

Sun Hao was stunned, and suddenly felt extremely entangled in his heart.

"Take it, it's what I owe you." Sun Zhongguo slowly became serious.

Sun Haomulan took the cigarette and didn't know what to say?

"Smack"

Sun Zhongguo lit the fire and held it in front of Sun Hao with his hands.

"Take good care of yourself after going to the sea, but you don't have to worry, her illness can no longer be cured with money, the money you keep, in addition to paying off the debt, I am ready to take her to take a good look at the world and fulfill several of her dreams."

Sun Hao was silent, hesitated for a second, but still covered it with his hand, and smoked the cigarette that his father had lit for himself for the first time.

The feeling was suddenly strange, as if it was not a father standing in front of me, but a friend.

"Lulu, you don't have to worry about her, she is a good girl, your mother and I must treat her as our own daughter."

Speaking of this, Sun Zhonghai wanted to speak again and again, and finally said: "If you really have an accident at sea, we will not embarrass Lulu, and respect Lulu's choice in everything." ”

In the end, Sun Zhongguo seemed to feel that his words were too pessimistic and a little sensational, so he hurriedly lowered his head and lit a cigarette for himself, took a deep breath, and looked at Sun Hao.

"Okay, don't think about it, since you have made such a choice, your mother and I both support you, and then I will communicate well over there, don't worry?"

After speaking, Sun Zhongguo took the cigarette, walked on his back, turned around and began to walk back, the fireworks swayed left and right in the dark night, it seemed that this road home suddenly became difficult, and even the walking person could not walk steadily.

Sun Hao stood motionless, he watched his father leave, but he didn't know what to say?

At this moment, he suddenly wanted to tell his secret, and he also wanted to say, "Father, I don't blame you, I don't need you to apologize", but the words were stuck in his throat, but he couldn't make a sound.

Time passed little by little, and Sun Hao didn't know how long he had been standing, until the phone rang and Liu Lu called, he realized that there were still 2 minutes left to usher in a new day.

"After these 2 minutes, there are still nine days left!" Sun Hao looked at the ring finger of his right hand in a distracted manner.

The phone still rang again, Sun Hao shook his head, quickly connected the phone, and said gently: "I'm fine, I'll be home soon, I love you." ”

"Well, I love you too, it's cold outside, go home quickly!" Liu Lu said gently.