The rain outside the window is like a tragic plot of a serial, always falling non-stop, always making people hurt. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 infoThe curtain is gradually weak, and it actually wants to fly like this by getting rid of control by the airflow, but unfortunately it miscalculated its fate of being bound, and can only gradually be infected by the tragic plot little by little, and cannot escape.

This time, Ruan Qing didn't wake up in a cold sweat, but when her eyes opened, she understood.

"I'm awake again." Ruan Qing's cold tone seemed to be a little accustomed to this unreasonable arrangement. She sat up calmly.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" She touched her forehead, trying to make sure she wasn't sick, "What's wrong with me!" ”

In the end, the same sentence has a different tone. One is to ask what is going on with this fantastic life, and the other is that she finally begins to face herself.

"What the hell is wrong with me!"

Ruan Qing habitually looked at the empty place yesterday, and the shameless little alarm clock walked quietly like this.

9:00AM

"I've got an hour and a half to think, and by half past ten, I'm going to have to really wake up?" In her mind, she had already regarded 10:30 as the start of the day. Ruan Qing asked herself in a low voice, and then lay back on her bed and thought quietly. "This time, I can't drink anymore."

She seriously thought about yesterday, was that yesterday? Or last time? She doesn't know how to describe this unscientific life in words. Then last time, Ruan Qing, who has obsessive-compulsive disorder, still has to choose a definite statement.

Is everything that happened last time real? Is everything Mom said true? Now I still have the idea that I want to participate in tonight's graduation exhibition, does that mean that today is true?

Ruan Qing thought sideways, pressing all the gravity against his heart. She didn't notice that it had become a habit for her, even though she wasn't like that before, and she used to have her back to the wall.

Xiao Ruan Qing, who has liked to have her back to the wall since she was a child, is very insecure, especially her back. There was always an infinite fear in the place where she could not see, that is, the little ones were afraid of the wardrobe that was not closed; It was the fear of not having a chair under the desk; That's the fear that as soon as you close your eyes, there will be demons and monsters blatant behind you. So little Ruan Qing likes to lean her back against the wall, and there is a sense of steadiness that she needs every night with something stable and certain behind her.

When did you change all your habits from childhood?

It turned out that it was still him, and it was still the magic of shameless love. At first, he kept saying, "I love you, and I will be responsible for you." The man changed the uneasy Ruan Qing, but gave her a new uneasiness.

When it comes to the word "responsible", everyone who should understand knows what Ruan Qing gave him. In this world where discipline is worthless, what is chastity?

But Ruan Qing, who has always had a happy family, her parents have known each other since childhood and have been in love for a long time, and they are still in love until now. For Ruan Qing in such a family, what is chastity?

It was a thorn in her heart that she couldn't pull out, and it was a stain that she felt that her life couldn't be erased! Do people care about such things like this now? Only men care about this kind of thing, because only such a woman is clean.

**There seems to be such a passage all along, "Men like clean women, but they like clean women." ”

And this "once clean" Ruan Qing is a conservative person who can't let go! So she stubbornly clung to the self in her heart and didn't dare to let go of another man again. She is afraid of the next one, and the next one in this world of entertainment is still not the life she wants to live. What is even more afraid is that she finally meets what she wants, but she will have regrets because of this matter. So I don't even dare to touch it again.

She doesn't understand that chastity is nothing more than a hundred yuan, and chastity in her mind is precious. Maybe she also understands the use of this hundred yuan, but she doesn't know that deception is actually the truest part of life. After all, who can see the purity of thought? The neurologist couldn't read it either.

So now this Ruan Qing, who likes to face the wall, is just nostalgic for the warmth on his chest or his broad back. It's a pity that the temperature is no longer there, but she is not used to the happiness that she can no longer touch the warmth on her forehead.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Ruan Qing was still asking herself.

In fact, she has long understood that she can't escape anymore, and she can't rely on all external forces to give herself excuses. Especially last time, she saw with her own eyes the true love that her father's hands held in blood. It was the most poignant thing she would have thought of before, and her father was close to madness for her.

Only family members can touch Ruan Qing, who is weak in her heart, really has to make up her mind this time. I can't go on like this! I have to face my life and I can't run away anymore. But what should I do now?

Ruan Qing, who finally began to think seriously, lay flat and looked at the blank ceiling, and she breathed deeply.

First of all, the first question! Where's that diary?

Ruan Qing looked through her diary carefully, there was no last time, of course she didn't write last time! But not last time! The time she ate noodles and ate them to death! Although I now know how I died, using someone else's life to verify the cause of my own death, this dream is really cruel!

In fact, she has always known the difference between the existing diary and the disappeared diary, but she is unwilling to face this cruel reality. She doesn't want to live the 17th of repeated death all the time! The two journals differ only in terms of date, except for their contents. The diary of existence is the habit of writing down the date of the previous day when she writes her dreams, and when she is completely awake from the dream and writes the date of today, it disappears. Whether this is a coincidence or not needs to be verified.

The second problem, the last time it didn't loop!

Yes, the last time something happened that didn't circulate - she had a nosebleed! If she hadn't had a nosebleed, she probably wouldn't have found the missing diary! Could it be that there is a force in the dark that pushes you to find the difference, and then to change your predestined outcome?

Ruan Qing smiled unconsciously, maybe only arrogant humans would instill all invisible forces in themselves. But in this farcical nightmare, am I not the protagonist of my own dream?

The third question, the old question! Last time, how exactly did I die? Can I get an answer today?

The last question, Ruan Qing looked at the alarm clock silently for a long time, this is the alarm clock that she started to ring as soon as she started writing her diary, but she has been ignoring the alarm clock problem that she doesn't want to pay attention to!

Why! I've been writing for so long, the alarm has been ringing for so long! Time has not changed?

As long as you don't press the alarm clock, does the alarm clock stay at 10:30? It's the funniest of all the questions!