Aug. 29 at 3:20 p.m. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

In front of the general's pier, on the pothole-ridden, gravel-paved parking lot, there is only a green minibus, which looks like a huge lotus leaf from a distance, and there are large and small holes eaten by insects, among which lies a big frog with green skin and yellow eyes, a fat head and a fat brain.

In the belly of this frog, there are two people.

The one in front, yellow-skinned and bald, is tilting his head and napping, is the driver Ding Buwei.

Shrinking back and fiddling with his mobile phone is the fat tour guide Yuan Guoqing.

It is estimated that you don't have to pay for the car fuel, the doors and windows of the minibus are closed, the neutral gear is blazing, the air conditioning is on, and the sun outside it is like fire, and the inside of the car is refreshing and pleasant.

However, the opposite of this cool world and the relaxed atmosphere of calm and relaxation is the nervousness of the fat man's face. He looked up at the back of the driver in front of him, and looked inside and outside the window several times to make sure that no one was watching, and then gently closed the blue curtains, and the pilot launched a text message-

"I didn't go to Yunlong Temple in the morning, and I went to Jinlong Cave in the afternoon. There is a hole in Yaochi, and the old ghost has probed half of it, but he didn't succeed. Now the general dun, don't let me follow, I don't know what's going on inside. over。 ”

The phone was set to silent in advance, and as soon as the text message was sent, it was deleted immediately.

After a while, the other end of the phone replied-

"I already know about Yaochi, I'm coming, let's talk at night, you have to be careful! It will be burned immediately after reading. ”

The fat man's index finger jumped, and he hurriedly deleted the information, and as if a mouse was out of a hole, he looked at the driver in front of him and found that the kid had already snored.

Picking up my phone, I can't help but wonder: how could it be? I just sent this text message today, why do you already know what is going on in the Golden Dragon Cave? Could it be that Brother Ming also arranged other eyeliner?

But why didn't he tell me? Don't believe me?

This? Something is strange.

The fat man leaned back on the seat, folded his arms and rested on his round belly, his eyes slightly closed, and he fell into deep thought.

……

……

Four days ago, it was Saturday, August 25th, in Beijing.

It is said that "under the whole world, it is not the king's land, and the shore of the land is not the king's minister", compared to other places, the sun in Shangjing seems to be rounder, bigger, and more majestic. Although the fat man gritted his teeth and got up early in the morning, the dedicated father-in-law of the sun got up earlier, and before he could go out, he had already jumped out of the horizon and started the day of fire in advance.

Not long after the snack bar downstairs opened, the boss was making a pot of hot oil, setting up a steamer, and when he saw the fat man, he didn't bother to say hello.

The fat man wiped a handful of butter sweat, threw his backpack on the stool, shook his fat hand and said, "It's the same as before, but hurry up, hurry up today!" ”

a bowl of soy milk, without salt and sugar; Two fritters and a flatbread will be served in a short time.

The fat man buried his head in snoring and snorting and eating a meal in the sea, his mouth was full of sesame seeds, soy milk splashed everywhere, and he didn't forget to hang his eyebrows and tease others: "Hey, hey, I said Lao Qintou, this fritter flatcake in your house, is it a beauty and face slimming injection, or is it participating in a weight loss training camp, why are you getting more and more watery and slimmer?" Catch up with Ming'er and introduce me, fat man, I just want to lose weight...... This soy milk is also, the clear soup is low water, you can really get it! The shortage of water in Beijing is so serious, which one is not washing your face and washing vegetables, washing vegetables and feet, washing feet and then making tea, you are good, how many tons of tap water do you have to mix with this pot of soy milk? ”

The boss, this old Qin Tou, did not show weakness, while busy with business, he smiled and sarcastically said: "Come on, fat man, it's not that the fritter flatbread has become thinner, it's that your eyes have become bigger, and everything is one size smaller...... Hehe, don't wash your face, vegetables, and feet! There is no water in this soy milk at all, it is the bath water of the beans! ”

The fat man didn't expect that this old Qin Tou would take the wrong medicine this morning, and he would be abnormal, and he dared to talk back to himself, and he was choked by these words, holding a yellow, soft-skinned fritters, and looking confused.

I heard Lao Qin Tou continue to complain: "Fat master, you are a gentleman, I don't know our hard work." You've come early in the morning to eat and drink. Yes! The food and drink are all prepared for you in advance, and you just need to pay a ticket. You must know that in order to eat this little food, to earn this dime or two, the old woman and I got up in the dark at three or four o'clock at night to grind beans! Now that prices are soaring, everything is rising, and our income from small business is not rising! This year, this situation, with these two broken tickets, you still want to eat......" He still wanted to talk further, but was slapped by the woman next to him and scolded: "Don't be poor, make pancakes quickly!" ”

A dejected shadow was reflected in the fat man's sweaty back, and he couldn't chew anything. This kind of hot day is also a day off, but how many people in the world can be free and hide at home to "incubate the air conditioner"? Aren't they all like this old couple, facing the majestic sun, getting up early and greedy for darkness, and working hard?

It is said that "the early bird is eaten by the bird", but who knows that "the early bird is eaten by the bird"? Yesterday, the company assigned this task, I don't know if I am a bird or a worm?

Count yourself as a bird!

Wiping his mouth and paying, the fat man picked up his backpack and walked out of the small store, and was about to go through an alley to squeeze the subway, when the mobile phone rang, it was an unfamiliar number.

In the past, when I saw this kind of unfamiliar number, I cut it off directly, because it must be all kinds of sales, insurance, and small advertisements, which is very harassing; But two days ago, I ordered a set of equipment online, and it is estimated that it will be sent soon, so I am worried that this is a courier call, so I dare not miss it.

"Hello? Who is it? ”

"Hey...... Is it Yuan Guoqing? "On the other end of the line was a middle-aged man, with a low, powerful voice, and politeness.

"Who are you?" The fat man frowned and asked again.

"Oh, I'm Li Zhongming."

Li Zhongming...... Ming, Brother Ming?! The fat man looked surprised, his eyebrows fluttered, like a little kid who received a lot of birthday gifts, "Brother Ming, why do you have my phone?" This, this, how many years, how many years have I not been in touch! ”

The hot pot stove, the oily oven, the figure of the shuttle, the empty wine bottles, the laughter, scolding, crying, roaring...... One by one, a stream of brains appeared in front of him, making the fat man stutter very rarely.

I only listened to the other end of the phone and asked, "Are you picking up an order from Dongying this time?" ”

"Yes! Brother Ming, you are still so powerful, we can know the internal news of our company? ”

"Hehe," the other side of the phone smiled, "I invited you by name, and I'm still in Chunshan." ”

Well? Roll call me? The fat man's grinning face suddenly froze, what's going on? I haven't seen this brother for many years, and I changed my mobile phone because of the incident back then, and I've been embarrassed to contact him; Where did he find out about me, and how did he know that I am now working part-time as a tour guide at the headquarters of Sijiwang Tourism Group in Beijing?

With all kinds of doubts, I heard the other party say, "Hurry up!" I couldn't tell it on the phone, so I sent me a text message as soon as I arrived in Chunshan, and we met and talked about it in detail about this number. I've got something else to do, so let's talk about it first. But remember, be safe on the road! ”

The phone hung up, and the fat man was speechless...... He walked into the subway station almost blank of mind.

A cold wind hit, a spirit.

The escalator stretches out step by step, like a huge transmission belt connecting the ice cave, straight into the ground.

The people outside were all like hiding from a fierce air raid, shouting, dragging their children and running down, their faces covered with sweat, and their mouths shouting - so cool, so cool!

The people below are like the cowherds who had to return to the world after the meeting of the Magpie Bridge, three steps and two turns, slowly rising up, with a sad face, refusing to return to the road full of swords, mountains and fires, and then being split into a lump of yellow mud.

On the walls on both sides of the escalator, there are one after another, and the light box advertisements are clearly pasted. Above, or the woman who scratches her head and gestures, throwing flattering eyes, shrugging her shoulders and twisting her hips, teasing the little hearts of passers-by; or a clown-like cute star, cheeky, ignorant endorsement, seducing passers-by's purses......

It's cheesy! The fat man cursed secretly, and drifted to the subway station with the rolling crowd.

Every time you step into this crowded and crowded platform, you feel like an elephant is squeezed into an ant hole. People from all over the world, male or female, old or young, tall or short, sad or happy, no one can tell the name of the other, no one knows where the others are going, all for their own direction, but because of the same subway, the ghost makes the gods worse, and the steps are hurriedly crowded together.

Security check, card swiping, entering the station, waiting for the bus, getting on the bus, getting off the bus......

Day by day, month by month, year by year, station by station, repeating yesterday's actions today, and cloning today's footprints tomorrow. To put it nicely, these demons and monsters shuttling through the urban forest can be compared to little bees, twisting their buttocks, exploring flowers and collecting nectar, and singing the song with great joy: "Two little bees~, fly into the flowers~!" Fly~, what! Fei Ya ~, Pap Pap (considerate note: left mouth right flat, dialect, universal font does not have this word, read as pià)"! Actually, to put it bluntly or even ugly, isn't it like a swarm of green-headed flies? The collective unconscious, buzzing around the garbage, went round and round, tossed and turned for half a night, and finally turned back to the same place.

The fat man huddled in the carriage with a blank face, almost flesh to flesh - unfortunately all the men - as everyone shook together, his mind was dizzy and messy, all curses, not to mention it.

After passing through several large stations where passengers are concentrated, the carriages gradually became more spacious and there were many empty seats. The fat man has a butt pier, sturdy, rammed on the thin seat, bluffing the long-haired little sister who bows her head to the mobile phone, the green onion Zhengtai who bows her mobile phone, the bald uncle who bows her mobile phone, the sister and sister-in-law who bows her mobile phone, and the ...... who bows her mobile phone They fled.

In this world, there may only be two things that can make people willing to bow their heads: one is a haircut, and the other is a mobile phone. However, there is only one thing that can keep people down: mobile games. Thinking of this, the fat man also seemed to be infected, took out the mobile phone in the bag, his fat fingers flew, played in the palm of his hand, and practiced!

Guess which game he plays? Please stand firm and stand firm! In the fat man's mobile phone, there is only one ultra-primitive, super-old, and ultra-classic hardcore game - Snake.

Snakes?

Yes, snakes. It's just a game where a long line, imitating a snake, curls around the screen and engulfs a small dot. As the number of times the dots are engulfed, the snake grows longer and longer, unable to touch the wall or bite its own tail. This is supposed to be a game on Nokia's old black and white machine, right? Why has this entered the era of smart phones, and the fat man is still playing a great-grandfather-level game so nostalgically? Besides, can it be installed and run on the smartphone?

Why not, the latest version of the 3D snake is installed on the fat man's phone.

I don't know if it is in line with Einstein's theory of relativity, when a person is immersed in the wonderful world such as mobile games, mahjong, and egg hunting, time often flies. For more than an hour, it was almost a blink of an eye here in the fat man, and the airport subway station arrived.

……

Shangjing International Airport and the domestic departure hall are also like anthills, full of people.

The fat man put away his mobile phone, checked in, checked in, waited for the plane, and boarded the plane, and about an hour later, he plugged in his headphones, hummed, and got on the flight to Haicheng...... Alas, there are many "machines" in this passage.

Sitting in the cabin, the words of the company's boss echoed in my ears: this list is very important! The guests were very generous! And I asked you to pick up the group by name, and let us book you a direct flight ticket to Haicheng! You meet the pick-up vehicle over there first, and the guests will be there this evening! Be sure to receive a good reception! Good service!

This Brother Ming named, can you not accept it? The fat man smiled slightly, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

It is said that the poor man is sleepy a lot, but in fact, this fat man is more sleepy. It didn't take long for him to sit down on the plane just now, and he was snoring in a daze, and he didn't even know when the plane would take off.

……

At an altitude of 10,000 meters, the silver eagle soars.

Sleeping and waking up all the way, eating and drinking, except for the small seats, the space is crowded, and the two fat buttocks are not very comfortable stuck inside, there is no surprise.

About two hours, at about half past eleven o'clock in the afternoon, the plane landed smoothly at Haicheng International Airport.

The fat man let out a sigh in his throat, squinted his eyes and looked outside, and it was actually raining lightly.

Why do you use the word "actually"?

Because, Shangjing has been hot for more than half a month, and there has been no rain for a long time, and almost everyone has passively adapted to the extreme switching mode of indoor cold and outdoor heat. Therefore, when the fat man opened his confused eyes, listened to the soft broadcast of the weather on the radio, and then saw the slightest rain marks outside the porthole, slowly sliding down, it was like eating a mouthful of chilled watermelon in dog days, and the sweet melon juice was poured into the chest and abdomen along the hot throat.

"Finally seeing the rain!"

His chubby face was tinged with excitement, and he barely thought about it, and before the plane was still taxiing and stopping, he opened his seat belt buckle, grabbed his backpack and stood up, dancing and screaming, intending to run ahead of the curve.

"Huh? Mr! Immediately there was an exclamation from behind him, it was a flight attendant, "Sir, please sit down sir!" The plane is still taxiing, so it's dangerous! ”

Oops, sorry, sorry! The fat man shuddered when he heard this, stopped, closed his eyes again, and wiped away the embarrassment on his face—alas, look at my quality.

The fat man sat back in his seat amid the surprise, ridicule, and disdain of the passengers around him, but he couldn't help but wonder in his heart: how could he immediately short-circuit his brain and lose his reserve when he saw the rain? Am I beaten with chicken blood, or have I hit a ghost and lost my mind? Which nerve was wrong just now? I've done hundreds of flights, dozing, snoring, and playing games, I've never seen anything so excited and carried away! Why did you just glance at the rain outside the porthole, and suddenly your hormones burst and you are not controlled by your brain?

Something strange, no, very strange!

And the next situation is even more bizarre-

The fat man's heart was still hairy, and at this time, the flight attendant behind him had walked quickly to the side and said with concern: "Sir, thank you for your cooperation, please fasten your seat belt." ”

This flight attendant's voice is so good!

How do you describe those flowery, meaty words? Silver-bell-like, lark-like? …… None of them were, according to me, like an electric iron, ironing the fat man's crumpled and wet little heart like a mirror, smooth and bright.

Well, comfortable!

Turning his head along the sound, he saw a red and white suit, setting off a slender and plump body, with long black hair coiled behind his head, revealing a pink and refreshing melon seed face, two eyebrows that are not wide or narrow, a pair of black eyes that are like water, and under the sharp and small nose bridge, a lip painted with bright red lip gloss is slightly exposed.

This face seems to have been seen somewhere, but I can't remember it for a while.

The fat man was staring at people in a daze like "Zhu Bajie looking at the lady", and he felt that the plane shook suddenly, and the flight attendant next to him stood unsteadily, and actually leaned to the side of the seat - oops! The fat man subconsciously reached out to hug it, but he didn't expect that this warm fragrant body happened to sit on the armrest of the seat, but a pair of fat hands just happened to hug the gentle arm bend of jade, and the piece of the chest that was towering and bouncing, soft and boneless.

The fat man's face was hot, and the bounce was ...... Uh, I swear to God! I didn't mean to!

The stewardess seemed to have two blushes on her face, stood up, whispered "be careful", secretly pinched the fat man's round arm, and walked forward with the seat.

The red and white skirt was not loose or tight, wrapping the round buttocks and slender legs, and the fat man was almost full of blood in his nostrils.

She? Why pinch me?

It's weird, it's weird......