The suspicion of war was dispelled without danger, and the next dinner time was finally spent peacefully in a harmonious atmosphere. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Looking at Shen Xiaolin, who consciously cleaned the dining table and went to the kitchen to clean the rice bowl, Xu Qing'er leaned on the sofa with the corners of her mouth slightly upturned and said to his back: "By the way, have you finished reading the manuscript I gave you before?" ”

A few days ago, after Xu Qinger read Shen Xiaolin's novel, she was attracted by the gorgeous style and explosive brain hole of his modified version of "Bubble Summer", and became his first fan.

At that time, the girl asked Shen Xiaolin to help her read the novel she wrote, and Shen Xiaolin finished reading it, but Xu Qing'er sent him away because she was shy that day.

In the next few days, Xu Qing'er was embarrassed to mention this matter again, and it was not until Friday when she helped Shen Xiaolin get the manuscript fee that she saw the 'large' manuscript fee, and the girl's mind was ready to move again.

As the saying goes, children from poor families are in charge early, and Xu Qing'er is even more so, after going to high school, whenever she has spare time, she will find some small part-time jobs to do.

Although the money earned is not much, the savings are enough for the girl's own daily expenses.

However, Xu Qinger also knows very well that doing those small part-time jobs is not a long-term solution, because it is not only tiring to do, but also has a low and unstable income.

Therefore, a girl will have the idea of writing a novel, after all, for a girl who has not yet reached adulthood, Xu Qing'er can think of the only way to make money with low cost and ability.

"Moon Fox Under the Snow" was written by Xu Qinger during the summer vacation, and now the ending has not been written.

Now that she suddenly found that Shen Xiaolin's writing level was really good, and she had received a lot of manuscript fees, Xu Qinger couldn't help but want him to help review the manuscript.

You know, the girl still looks forward to a life where she can earn money by sitting at home and typing.

Hearing Xu Qing'er's words, Shen Xiaolin reacted, and said with a smile while rinsing the oil stains on the plate: "After reading it, you wrote very well." ”

Shen Xiaolin's praise made the girl blush a little, and said coquettishly: "Don't fool me!" You wait and help me revise the manuscript, and when the time comes, I will successfully submit the manuscript, and I will also invite you to a big meal! ”

There is no difficulty for Shen Xiaolin to revise the manuscript at all, whether it is from the concept of the story, or the language modification, etc., he can improve the charm of Xu Qinger's story by several levels.

However, Shen Xiaolin did not intend to do this, one reason was that it was unnecessary, because he remembered that Xu Qing'er's first published novel was "Moon Fox Under the Snow", and although the sales results were not outstanding, it was enough to prove that Xu Qing'er's story was indeed attractive.

Another reason is that he doesn't want to pull out the seedlings to help them grow, or to hit Xu Qinger's confidence.

In any case, "Moon Fox Under the Snow" is a work created by a young girl with her heart, and she definitely doesn't want this story to be changed beyond recognition, even if it is more interesting after being changed.

Therefore, Shen Xiaolin plans to give Xu Qinger some guidance from the structure of the story.

After agreeing to the girl, Shen Xiaolin went to take a shower by the way, and then slowly walked to the door of Xu Qing'er's room on the second floor and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

Xu Qing'er had already taken a shower when she came back from her part-time job, and at this time she had already changed the skirt she was wearing on her body back into a shirt and shorts, and her black hair was scattered, which was very pretty.

Seeing Shen Xiaolin open the door and come in, the girl beckoned to him and said, "Come here, do you think my novel will be a little old-fashioned?" ”

Xu Qing'er moved two chairs and put them in front of the computer desk, looking at her worried appearance, Shen Xiaolin came over and scratched her nose funny, sat down and grabbed the mouse and said: "Don't worry, to be honest, this story is quite attractive, especially the character of 'White Eaves' is well portrayed." ”

Shen Xiaolin's words made Xu Qing'er's eyes light up, and a trace of joy floated on her face, in this novel, it was the role of Bai Wei that she portrayed most carefully.

And strictly speaking, Bai Wei is not the male protagonist in Xu Qinger's story, but the second male lead.

The novel mainly tells a love triangle story between the human race and the demon race in the background of oriental fantasy.

The male protagonist is a human boy named Yu Kai, and the female protagonist is a demon moon fox girl named Yao Banyue.

The story takes place on a snowy night, the Moon Fox Clan, a rare among the demon clan, was tragically wiped out by the Purple Pupil Clan, and Yao Banyue, who escaped by luck, was seriously injured and fell into a coma, and was rescued by Yu Kai and returned to the human imperial capital.

The development of the story is the same as many popular novels nowadays, the male protagonist and the second male protagonist are attracted by the beauty of the female protagonist, and fall in love with the female protagonist in getting along, in order to help the female protagonist avenge, the strength of the two has grown rapidly.

Until this point, the story does not have many other highlights except for the smooth writing, but the second half of the novel has an amazing reversal, which makes people feel amazing.

The male protagonist, like the protagonist of many novels, has a sunny, powerful and stoic character, and in a very short period of time, he has become the strongest master of mankind, and then he went to take revenge on the heroine's enemy.

And the second male character's character is both gentle and cold, when the male protagonist is immersed in martial arts and constantly improving his strength, he spends more time on the female protagonist, taking the female protagonist to visit the Lantern Festival and watch the moon.

When the male protagonist and the strongest demon clan, the Purple Pupil King, died together and shocked the world, the second male led the army of the human race and successfully wiped out the remaining Purple Pupil Clan.

At the end of the novel, the second male and female protagonists are together.

Because Xu Qinger uses a third-person perspective, the brushwork of the three protagonists is almost the same, so the ending will not seem too abrupt.

Yu Kai will make people think that he is the male lead, but only because his role appeared earlier, and his experience is more like that of an 'orthodox' protagonist.

Yao Banyue was rescued by Yu Kai, and she did have a better impression of Bai Kai at first, and at the same time, she was also grateful for everything he had done to avenge himself.

But Yao Banyue is also a girl, love does not only rely on goodwill and gratitude to maintain, Bai Yue's long-term companionship makes Yao Banyue feel warm.

Even Bai Kai's ending in the end has a hint of irony, if he succeeds in helping Yao Banyue take revenge and is still alive, then he may be a perfect prince, but is this alone enough to make the heroine fall in love with him?

Although it is not written in the novel, there is no doubt that Xu Qinger's point of view is negative.

Such an idea is enough to make Shen Xiaolin sigh, especially since this is only Xu Qing'er's first time writing a novel, and it is very good to have such a level.

After pointing out a few highlights and a few obvious problems of the novel, Shen Xiaolin continued: "Except for those points, Qing'er, the other problems of your story are not big, but if you use some small skills in structure, then the attractiveness of the story can be improved." ”