Ladies and gentlemen, you must have encountered things that make you nervous and anxious in your daily life. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

That feeling of nervousness is so common that it seems all too common.

However, the pressure of modern society is so great that the general sense of tension and anxiety among the general public seems to be beyond the norm. It's no longer simply like the pain and wonderful tension of being in love.

In many cases, when people describe men and women in love, when they see their sweethearts, their hearts beat faster, their faces blush, and their ears are irritable...... , always with an intoxicated expression.

This tension is biased towards pleasure.

However, most of the tension is painful.

This kind of tension not only causes discomfort to the human psyche, but also disease; There are also some undesirable results in behavior.

Just like a person who is easily nervous, if he faces a slightly dignified person, he will say: "To the right!" To the right! ”

He's probably going to the left.

One can imagine how dangerous the deviation from left to right can be if this is a driving operation.

Man's nervousness is strongest before what he thinks is about to happen.

It's like a high school student facing the upcoming college entrance examination; A student thinks about the upcoming driving test; A guy is about to go on a date with his sweetheart; A grassroots cadre faces the assessment of the leader.

People who are prone to nervousness, in these situations, are simply tormented.

They were anxious to see the consequences long before they even did that.

They can't seem to face that process and are eager to skip that process and see the results.

It seems that only the result is safe, and the process can only give him endless uneasiness and tension.

Just as candidates are in a hurry to get a good score, driving students are in a hurry to get a driver's license.

It is not so much that he got this good result just to eliminate his own nervousness, but rather that the infinite temptation of this result caused him to be intensely nervous.

The title of the gold list, getting the driver's license, getting the girl's heart, and getting the leader's appreciation......

It's all a temptation, or a kind of happiness, a wish.

The accumulation of wishes and pleasures triggers tension in the person.

It seems to be an irreconcilable contradiction.

If you want to overcome your nervousness, you can only seem to give up happiness.

It can be seen that people often say "lower expectations and goals" and "let go of perfection...... It can be understood as "reducing happiness".

This may be the only way for people who are anxious about achieving their goals.

However, in this case, do not expect to help them eliminate the unhappiness that comes from them.

One reaffirms that "nothing is not going to be perfect", "there is no perfection", "facing reality", "going with the flow", "being content", ...... These truths.

He wouldn't be willing.

Just like some people know that reality is cruel, and their friends persuade him to be realistic, he also feels unlikely; But he still hopes that he can earn 100,000 yuan a year, that he can score 98 points in the exam, and that his favorite girl loves him...... When the time comes, if he only earns 30,000 yuan a year and only scores 80 points in the exam, the girl doesn't like him...... He will still be disappointed.

It can be seen that no matter how unrealistic the idea is, it will cause such a real and huge sense of loss.

How can a single sentence of "go with the flow" resolve his contradictions?

Of course, a more professional "go with the flow" is to teach people to accept themselves - let it be nervous, don't try to make yourself not nervous, do what you should do; Failure to do so will only lead to more tension.

I have to say that many truths have hit the "key point", just like Zhou Yizhong's Taiji and Liangyi, and the molecules and atoms of modern science...... They all seem to fit well.

However, without a deeper understanding of what a thing is, external understanding is like a "rubbing ball".

And the true face of tension, as mentioned in the previous chapters, is actually the extreme separation and escape of excrement; Extreme separation inevitably leads to extreme accumulation at the other end of the equilibrium.

When excretion accumulates, it feels heavy, as if it has to vomit quickly, or vent quickly.

It's like a student who feels like a stone pressing on his heart before taking the driver's license, which is extremely uncomfortable and nervous.

When he was lucky enough to pass the test, he felt relieved, and coped with a disgusting thing like a task; Instead of enjoying the process of driving.

This is equivalent to the extreme release of excrement.

Here, note the words "extremely" and "extremely".

A person who is prone to nervousness, or a person with a mental illness, has subconsciously separated the excretory function.

When excretion comes, the subconscious thinks that all the matter has gathered here; After the excrement is released, it is assumed that all the excrement has been released and will not reappear.

In the process, he almost completely forgot the instinctive pleasure of excretion.

Evolution to emotion, that is, the subconscious mind thinks that after a stressful event has passed, there will be no more tension, and it is overly relaxed; Therefore, when the next "big event" comes, there will be extreme discomfort and tension.

Linking excretion and tension is the result of the previous layer of analysis, and there is almost no jump.

If it is not coherent, excretion and tension are like a chasm that cannot be connected; If this is the case, then we can only recall the feeling of excretion, whether it is similar to the accumulation and release of tension.

Because here, there is a more "jumping" mind, jumping from excretion to "mother".

If I say that the root of the tension lies in some so-called "major events" in the outside world, disguised as the "importance" of the mother, so that even if I fight for my life and health, I have to fight for it. This leads to an instantaneous accumulation of tension.

You may not understand.

As I said earlier: there is sometimes a fine line between the big and the insignificant.

In reality, there are many such examples and descriptions: walking on thin ice, making a mistake, losing everything, abandoning all previous achievements, making a mistake into a thousand years of hatred, a small difference, and a thousand miles of error......

A mistake in the college entrance examination ruined the achievements of the cold window for ten years; A small mistake makes the leader unhappy, which makes the good work that he has worked so hard for come to naught......

There is no shortage of such examples in reality.

Because of this, when people are more prepared and sure about something, the more nervous they are when they are put to the test.

They fear that all the gains, hopes, strengths, and joys they have gathered may be lost in an accident during a trial.

So, subconsciously, they prefer to hide those powers and keep those powers; Suppressed pleasure.

But if they pass the test, they will be extremely happy.

I liken the happy gathering to "mother" (not a metaphor).

In layman's terms: mother's love is the source of happiness.

Well, a nerve-wracking "crucial" test is formulated by outsiders.

When "motherly love" and "outsiders' test" are combined, the problem arises - to cater to the outsider's test, and to meet his requirements, he will be extremely happy and excited; On the other hand, if you fail to meet their requirements, you will be extremely nervous, anxious, and self-blaming.

This extraordinary excitement is a kind of "temptation", and the reason why "temptation" is powerful is because of the integration of "maternal love".

In fact, it is what I said earlier - dispersing the mother's love to the outsiders who violate the mother.

This makes catering to outsiders and relying on outsiders an insurmountable obstacle.

Because outsiders are "mothers" in disguise.

And a real mother will never let everything come to naught because of a trivial mistake; It's about being unconditionally inclusive of everything; It is a primordial family relationship that is connected by blood and cannot be separated.

Therefore, people often regret a small mistake of their own: "A well-paid, stable and easy job, but because of a low-level mistake of their own, the leader is dissatisfied, and this 'golden job bowl' is accidentally shattered, and from then on they have to live a ......life of wandering and no fixed place to live."

Between the lines, it is enough to make people unable to let go and torture themselves.

They will blame themselves for small mistakes and cannot cross the huge gap from "golden jobs" to "no fixed residence".

And this huge gap can directly lead to mental illness.

It is true that a person almost succeeds, but the result is that he falls short because of a trivial deed, and even a healthy person will inevitably go crazy or sink for it.

This is -- the blow -- the fatal blow.

However, if you associate it with "mother", you will find that such an inexplicable gap is only a "disguised mother". - It is precisely because he is a "mother" that he can gather all his happiness; But because of a small thing, his happiness fell to the bottom. This is called "camouflage".

If that person is really good to you, he will never destroy all your achievements because of a small mistake.

So, even if it falls short, why not?

The pain and entanglement are only due to the failure to distinguish the "disguise".

Because of this, when the test comes, just focus on the "mother" and not on the person who tests you. The tension is gone.

Do you still remember the S man who followed his mother into school?

He was frightened by an accident at school, and his mind was separated from his mother, which led to extreme compromise with the teacher, and he was like a great enemy in every exam; Every time I go to school, I feel nervous.

This is the result of pandering to outsiders and being seduced by "disguised mothers" (test scores to the satisfaction of teachers).

And when he recalled, the state of mind when he accompanied his mother on the way to school - hazy and wonderful, not rushing to cater to someone's (teacher's) anxiety and uneasiness and nervousness about an unknown place (school).

Only this hazy, innate, endless flow of beauty and exploration can replace the "harmful temptations" of the outside world.

Those incomparably tempting results - getting a driver's license right away, getting a good score, meeting the requirements of the leader, satisfying the leader...... Then I felt extremely happy and relaxed.

In fact, the process of getting these results by luck is a process of defecting to a "disguised mother", which lays a hidden disease for the future.

It can be seen that the bad emotions that people think are insurmountable are not really insurmountable; And just didn't use the heart to recall those good memories of the past. (To be continued.) )