Since those comments will disappear after a while in the comment area at the starting point, Huhu will collect some good comments and have been kept as a souvenir, so please skip this chapter for those who read the book. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Text-Theme: [Long Comment] The long comment is coming! ~pick up

The topic is simple and straightforward, and it is good.

Introduction, that's too long! It is recommended to start from the fourth line, put the rest of the work and create a section titled "Character Profile".

At the beginning, say bird language, well, the plot needs.

How to say it! In fact, language is a thing, as well, don't be too deliberate!

If you want to show that the author is a descendant of the dragon, you can use other methods, such as hair color or something, language can be learned, hair is innate, isn't it more representative?

Well, I still don't know how that little boy escaped, isn't he poisonous? Sold as a slave? Hmm, what is the relationship between the little boy and the girl's former flesh? It's very vague, and it seems that the author has a feeling of wanting to speak and being ashamed. It seems to love each other, hate each other, and then love again.

said that they wanted to die together, but after the woman died, he didn't see him commit suicide, and then the woman lived, and he hated the woman, well, strange logic.

All right. I know that this is a misinterpretation of the author's meaning, and I know what the author means. However, sometimes if you don't look closely, there will really be such a misunderstanding! It is recommended that the author modify and modify it slightly, make it simple and clear and easy to understand, after all, readers read books, many of them are ten lines at a glance, if you study and experience word by word, I'm afraid, this kind of person, uh, I don't dare to imagine this kind of person...

And then I have a question.,The plot between the heroine and Nabei or something.。

The heroine is happy for a while, and as a result, she angers Belinda.

Well, this will feel that the heroine is a person with backbone and does not yield to the evil forces, but later, Belinda sent guards to teach the heroine a lesson, and the heroine immediately endured. And he lowered his posture extremely much, making people look depressed.

Yes, the author is going to say that the heroine is a smart, bent and stretching person!

However, if she is really smart enough, she should not provoke this Belinda!

For example, Belinda came, she tried to put oil on the soles of her feet, but Belinda just looked at her unpleasantly, so good, at this time, the heroine asked for perfection, yes, because from her first reaction, she told us that the heroine is a person who doesn't like to cause trouble!

However, the heroine spoke so harshly before, obviously deliberately trying to provoke Belinda, and then pretending to be cowardly after being provoked, alas, I felt uncomfortable when I looked at it.

Then, the heroine killed the guard!

Well, the first strike must be the way to go. However, the man was sent to kill her and died inexplicably, and this account is still counted on her? Nabei's father has decided to kill her, can she hide? Her teacher protects her?

However, if her teacher could protect her, why did she have to be so forbearant before?

If she can't protect her, won't she be in danger?

I always feel a little awkward.

Like a general article, after the confrontation between the protagonist and the villain, there is something that can contain both sides.

For example, the protagonist is looked at by a strong man, and he says that he wants to protect it, and then the villain has to temporarily let the protagonist go and give the protagonist a chance to grow.

But there doesn't seem to be such a bloody plot here, but in this way, I feel that a certain balance has been broken, which is a bit incongruous.

Well, in addition to these dispensable things, this article is still very good!

From beginning to end, the story is very smooth, not procrastinating, well arranged, and there is no wordiness in growing up. It's my dish.

And in fact, the questions I mentioned earlier were more point-scratching, so I ignored them when I watched them, and I only picked them out when I commented.

Kindness. It's really good! The author wants to refuel and update, think about whether it is logical before writing, and just pull it.

Well, the article itself is fine, but the first chapter really doesn't have much traction.

Well, I clicked on your text no less than three times, and I knew that the third time before I had the courage to read it, well, I felt good when I saw the back. But there aren't many people like me who stick to it for the sake of commenting! So, you can think about how you can make a small change to make it look more attractive without changing the general direction!

Not. Well, that's it!

Come on!

At the end of the article - Theme: [Long comment] Chicks run!

Haha,The author's big text has a bit of a spoof flavor.,Well,After reading these chapters.,The taste is really a bit heavy.,But,I like it!

The so-called radish greens, each has its own love, I have seen a lot of the same, serious and other worldly texts, occasionally adjust the taste, come here to improve the life, I think it is very good, fresh and exciting, full of fun, and it can be regarded as a surprising victory!

Speaking of which, there are not many new ideas in the current text, but the big text, the creativity is very good, and the chick has a great personality, so that we can find the feeling of "women can hold up half the sky" (uh, it seems to be a little too much......, right?). It is very attractive, and I hope that there will be more personality traits to be revealed, so that we can appreciate it more comprehensively!

Due to the limited number of words, I can't see the follow-up plot yet, but just the corner that has been opened up at the moment is enough to make people look forward to the chick's power and the 'pride' of killing the Quartet, hehe, I really want to see more supporting characters, and the new way of death invented by the chick - 'I hold you to death' is coming, it's interesting to think about!

However, I hope that the following style can be properly strengthened, and I always feel that there are bones and no flesh, and I have been refining in such a monotonous manner, which seems to be a little dull. Doing 'tasks' appropriately, or enriching yourself with a 'dungeon' or something, will be more interesting!

In terms of language, I look forward to writing more otherworldly styles, after all, it is better to look better with a sense of substitution, and speaking and doing things are the same as in our ancient times, so it will lose its fun!

Well, write these first! Chicken run, there must be a lot of people in front of you who like 'muscular girls', so, watch worried, boldly raise your arms, wave Fang Xuan, and point the way!

An Ruo, Bing-Theme: [Long Comment]~~~ An An

Otherworldly Enchanter:

The title of the book, well, is clear, it is to travel to the other world as an enchanter (is it a time traveler?). ）。 Indicates that this does not leave any bad impression on the title of the book......

Cover...... To be honest, I almost thought the man was a man--||[typing]

Brief introduction. Well, the first line is very accurate to tell me that this book is a time-traveling text.

Second line...... Uh, wouldn't it be a pleasure to cross over--? Isn't it exciting to be born again--?

Third line...... Lazy protagonist.

The following two paragraphs...... It's just a little embarrassed.

indicates the next four lines... Are the first two words of each line the names of people?

Okay, so I clicked on the table of contents.

Anyway, this author is big...... Don't you feel like this, some of the titles are very long, some even have wooden titles, very strange and unbalanced, and it looks awkward, is it very unpleasant? It's better to make up for those two wooden titles with titles......

The titles of the first four chapters are very loving...... Anyway, the Human Snake Group is a god thing? There's also an atpx god horse to get it out, hey...... If it was poured into that thing, the body I am now should be the body I had when I was a child, and I wouldn't recognize it...... Well, I don't know how she came up with the question of crossing--。。。

But is it possible for the iron pillar to be loosened? Just by virtue of her little child's body......

Uh, well, Martian or something... ΘДwΨЪ？ (Do you understand?) ）……

ΘΣГДwΨЪ？ (Do you really understand?) ）ΘφoДΩΔΞЪ？ (Don't you feel bored?) ）

ΣxГ,ΚПiΥφΛЖwμ3tюГы~ (really, even I can't help but say it in Martian~)

Well, back to normal.

Uh, in other words, just like the previous one, exchange a collection for a book review, throw the bookshelf and wait for fattening~

Speaking of black hair and black eyes, I thought of starting to be a demon king today......

Su Mi'er-Theme: [Long comment] Staring ~~~

I don't really read otherworldly fantasy, but surprisingly your book attracted me.

I choose to be silent on the cover, not good or bad...... I can't say the feeling, in fact, it's simply that the characters are not good-looking enough. And then there's your profile.,Can you delete the introduction of those NP men in the back?,It's very eye-catching.。 I was interested in looking at the introduction of the conversation flow in front of me, but it turned out that you were so honest and explained the family background of all men clearly, okay, don't mind being honest~~ Your profile must be secretive, if you want to refuse to welcome, don't say everything clearly like Xiao Ming next door.

As soon as I clicked in, I was miserable because I was laughing like crazy......

Hahaha...... See the first chapter? （…… & (When the alien language appeared, I laughed out loud.) In other words, Lu Yi's thinking is really modern...... What are you wearing, what pencils and refills, okay I'm laughing again.

Then I read a few chapters down, saying that there was nothing wrong with it, and I was in a very relaxed mood after reading it~ Even the second chapter Lu Yi, well, it should be Ji Ran, I feel relaxed when I am not approached, cough cough...... It's very strange, especially seeing that she is a girl with black eyes and black hair, all kinds of hearts.

Because there aren't many Western names for the time being, I don't feel bothered, anyway...... This is my first collection of otherworldly fantasy novels.

After reading your otherworldly fantasy, I realized that the otherworldly fantasy can be written like this~~~ I originally thought that the otherworldly fantasy must be incomparably Westernized and incomparably esoteric with various characters. Thinking about it makes my head big...... But your text really gives me a very relaxed feeling~

The embarrassing book review ends...... Wa's Otherworldly Fantasy Book Review Incompetent, incompetent

Keep up the good work~~~ This is the first otherworldly fantasy book in the tile collection! ～！

Wei Wan - Theme: [Long Comment] [Scarlet Comment]

The profile told me very clearly, this is a crossing, and the language is funny, but such a profile is also common, indicating that it is popular and will not be evaluated.

The weight of the first two chapters is very sufficient, and the scarlet means worship.

As soon as the article comes up, the protagonist has already crossed, not dragging mud and water, the sense of substitution at the beginning is okay, and the reader's attention will shift with the author's description, like one. But,I have a question.,Not to mention the human snake group or the man in black.,The protagonist saw his body turned into a child.,If it's like conjecture, it's similar to Conan's situation.,Then it's back to the body of a child.,I should be frightened.,Why did you suddenly think of crossing the pinch? What are the lessons of your surroundings? What is the inspiration given by the character's attire? Or Shenma other...

Also, from time to time, there is a "voiceover", which I personally think is not very desirable, I know that the author is to express the situation, mood, demeanor or others, but there are other ways to express this. There are also emojis that appear from time to time in the article, which reminds me of the campus novels I read in the early years, and there are many of these symbols, and I am still quite disgusted.

In the first chapter, it is said that the iron pillar is loosened, forehead, looking at the sky, indicating that this child is very strong...

Time suddenly jumped to five years later, Ji Ran spent in sword practice, fighting spirit, etc., and it is not difficult to see between the lines that the heroine is an eccentric, personality and righteous person, this kind of person is generally easy for readers to accept, and is a likable character. When she chose to pretend to be a pig and eat a tiger or be a domineering genius, she decisively chose the former, and this kind of setting is still very attractive to readers, I don't know at which moment, she will come to a blockbuster and shock the audience. I like the unexpected feeling of turning defeat into victory.,But the author still needs to think about how to write without deliberateness.,Let everything develop naturally.,It's best to let the protagonist in the process of training because of various situations.,Naturally become the one who pretends to be a pig and eats a tiger.,It's not deliberate.,In this way, you need to do more design.,It won't develop in the direction of Xiaobai.。 After all, there is not only this kind of otherworldly essay written in this book, how brilliant, how different, how profound the characters, and how the plot is unfinished or unexpected, all need to be thought-provoking.

To add, how many of the men currently depicted in the book, Habu has become a passerby? Candace... And the prince, and ... Okay, I think I'm going to ask the wrong ones next, so Shut up and stop there.

Summary: The character description is good, the writing is smooth, and the plot feels similar and itchy, perhaps because the number of words is still small. Overall ok. Come on, author~!

Lei-chan - long review

Title: Clearly marks the central idea of the book, the text of the Otherworldly Magical Moment. Since there is no research material on this subject, it is okay if YY has to go too far, and it can arouse the curiosity of readers. It's a good choice.

Introduction: It's very loving, depicting a willful and lazy little girl. Body:

In the first chapter, you will know if there is one at a glance. （－。 -I like to shoot the first chapter.,Hold on) Seeing the emojis and author's notes that appear in the article,I know that I like to be a little easy and love girls who often mix with various stickers and watch all kinds of anime! Especially when the heroine talks to the little boy in the cage next door.,Great.,I suggest you change the annotation from the author's perspective to the description in the article.。 Because now it looks like I'm reading a post or a reply, all kinds of joyful emotions, not like I'm reading a novel.

Also, if you want to show that the heroine doesn't understand the language of that world, you can point it out first, "What they say is very strange, Lu has never heard such a weird pronunciation"-. -Something like this (it's not good.,Forgive me),And then you can just put their words.,And then a little bit more The heroine doesn't understand.。 Because of those Martian words, it is very difficult to type, and we are dizzy when we look at it.

Next is the end of the third chapter.,Write a long series of dialogues.,Although the dialogue flow has a plot and length.,But it's difficult to portray the characters.,It's best to supplement it with a psychological description.,Character actions or scenery descriptions or something.,Both the number of words.,And let the reader better understand the meaning of this dialogue.。 For example, a certain girl is crazy, a certain uncle is crazy, I know these sentences look so happy and loving, but it is better to describe them specifically, because I am writing a novel, not a reply. （－。 - I also have this problem, I want to bring joy to the reader, but I only make myself happy. And these may not necessarily poke the reader's cute point)

Let's talk about the big time transition, which is basically ,—— five years,—— three years,—— two years. I remember which one Da Da said, one method, one use is enough, too many times will get bored, in the same way, Lei Jiang suggested that Da Da can be used in the first five years, and the second can be used in another way, such as "When xx finally learned to use a sword, three years have passed." This also indicates the time span, but it is different from simply saying that it will be a few years later, so the viewers will not feel the repetition. Also, it can greatly allow readers to make up some content by themselves, instead of pointing it out, so that readers will feel that they are being looked down upon.

As far as the big plot is concerned, it's definitely new, no problem. All kinds of interesting challenge descriptions make people feel immersive, and freshness is an important condition to attract readers. The big plot is also gradually deepening.,There are more and more characters and magical things.,It can be seen that a lot of ingenuity has been spent on the plot.,All the plots are preparing for the heroine to be an enchanter.,This is very good.。 So it's better to write hard, and write more to train people. I'll collect one first, fattening, wow Ka Ka ~

Theme: [Long Review] (If due to book review)

He can block the sword for you for no reason, but you are so selfish and celibate

I don't feel good about your cover.,Introduction.,It's okay,"Qin, chess, calligraphy and painting can't be.,Laundry and cooking are tired.。 Eat, drink and have fun [***], I like to sleep with mandarin ducks the most. "I quite like this passage.

The writing is very smooth and slippery.,The plot is also good.,The front processing is very crisp.,There's no procrastination at all.,Just cross over.,When you wake up, you find that you've changed to a five-year-old look.。 I also like Shinichi Kudo, and Conan is one of my favorite laughing detectives.

Very festive opening remarks, little brother, big brother keeps calling, who knows that people don't bird you. It's funny, "Gollum is xxoo", hilarious, followed by a translation.

The author's imagination is still rich, especially the appearance of those bird languages. There is also dragon language, but they can all speak the past. Two humans from another world, a man and a woman, seem to be very loving.

The author is very logical.,The language organization is also good.,It seems that the author's writing is not bad.,I can actually read it.,It's not easy.,I don't like such an inexplicable otherworld.,But the storyline is very attractive.。

Why didn't the little boy who fell together in the second chapter save it together? Why did he disappear after five years, this is very problematic, I want to ask where he went?

Time flies, and three years have passed in the third chapter, and I still haven't seen the kid. She's practicing, a female dragon knight.

Time flies too fast.,It's two years in the fourth chapter.,The jump is really fast.,I finally waited for the male protagonist to appear.,The boy who fell with him and her also appeared.。 "Prince" and "Black-haired Man", which is the male protagonist? The male protagonist turned out to be him, the double-eyed boy, the man with black hair and a scar on his face. To be honest, I like the heroine very much.

The author is very talented.,The portrayal and psychological description of the heroine are very good.,What I like more is the confession when the double-pupiled man appears.,At first, I thought that the black-haired man who began to appear was a teenager's boy.,When the confession appeared, it lifted the doubts in my heart.,Give me a clear direction.。 It's all worn from modern times to the other world, why there is no connection with modern times, it seems very useless.

I once thought that the male protagonist of the double pupil was a teenager.,It doesn't seem to be.。 Regardless of whether Yeyi is the male protagonist or not, I said that I like the boy with double eyes.

In the end, I seem to hate the heroine, he can block the sword for you for no reason, but you are so selfish and celibate.

Brassica is not rape - I hope it can be written with a more sense of substitution

We chased xd from a post called Taoshu in the Girls' Book Club~ Actually, this kind of book is not my destiny~ But based on the fact that I read a novel that is also enchanted before~ So I clicked in~

The title is actually more normal, quite decent, but it's not very attractive (in fact, I personally like the author's online game of falling into a god~ let me want to click on it as soon as I see the title of the book)...... But that cover is making us want to complain~ The font is very good, and the format is also very good~ But the background picture is completely unable to let me contact the content...... It's a bit pretty......

xd, am I talking too directly~

Let's talk about the introduction~ It's very fun at first glance~ But I always feel a little wordy and cumbersome~ For example, piano, chess, calligraphy and painting can't be, and laundry and cooking are tiring. Eating, drinking, and having fun, the sentence that I like to sleep with mandarin ducks can actually be removed, and the fourth and fifth sentences of what the teacher and Xiao Ji said are a little out of touch with the content of the last sentence......

So here comes the text:

(Well, here I want to say that I can put the relevant and careful comments of the work at the bottom of the text~ I don't know if the author has found it~ After clicking to read~ The first chapter of the first volume actually has to scroll down the web page to click...... Not everyone likes to read it in full...... ）

Well, the body is really here:

The catalog is quite loving, untidy but not messy.

There is basically nothing to say at the beginning, and the sense of substitution is not strong is a common problem for most authors~ Personally, I think if it were us, no matter how calm we were, we wouldn't think so much when we found ourselves in that environment--it is impossible to rot to that extent~ To be honest, the heroine's character building is really a bit chaotic...... I always feel weird~ There is no such thing as a main line ~ In fact, what I want to say most is: the transition of the plot can be written in one sentence, the scene can be written lyrically, and it is best not to always use ellipses~ This looks really incoherent......

It's almost 600 words, orz, I'm really good at complaining~ Author, don't be glassy, in fact, you write very well, xd~

Red Branches Weeping - Theme: [Long Comment] Foolish Opinion Plus Votes!

Very good! Very good!

However, the beginning is an obvious gag text, in addition to the necessary previous translation of Martian, the text in other parentheses is a bit redundant, it may be that the author deliberately wants to create a sense of humor, but for many readers, generally still dislike such articles, after all, uh-huh...... There are a lot of waste words, and it may reduce the content level of the author's essay because of this, and the author who generally writes like this doesn't seem to be very old, so it is recommended that you can change it if you have time.

It's slowly starting to be very exciting.,After careful reading, you can feel that the author is very happy when he writes this article.,Otherwise it wouldn't have been written so humorously but with a deep plus a few cruelties.,The protagonists and supporting characters in it are described very exciting.,It's worth reading carefully.。

The heroine in the article is an obvious "bad woman" who pretends to be a pig and eats a tiger.,Although the life has not been very happy after wearing.,But I didn't give up my efforts.,After arriving at school, I started my own "looking for a man" journey.,Every chapter in the article is very exciting.,There are no messy other unrelated plots.,Seeing the end of the red branch, I really want to live a life like the heroine.。

The male protagonist in it is very beautiful, he is still a "minor", the bad-hearted heroine "teases" him again and again, and sees the handsome guy's mouth cramps again and again, and he is distressed, but he is also looking forward to it, I don't know how the two of them will end?

There are many classic sentences in the article, such as "When you meet a pervert, don't be in a hurry, meet a beast, enjoy it slowly, rest assured, and it will pass as soon as you close your eyes", "If a person wants to succeed, there are only two ways to go, one is forbearance, the other is cruel", "Oath is equal to gaffe" is very incisive and intriguing!

Looking forward to the excitement in the future!