The day was oppressive and dark, and the drizzle of Mao Mao fell for a day and a night, and it still continued. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info

The air was damp and cold, and I knelt in the mourning tent. In front of him is a baking brazier, and behind him is a cool night like water. My knees hurt so much that I lost consciousness, but I didn't move, my fingers mechanically repeating the action of burning paper, staring at the flying firelight, **** the dark night.

"Nannan's little face is red from the cold, come, grandma will cover it." A doting smile appeared on my wrinkled face, and a pair of warm palms covered my face. I subconsciously raised my hand and touched my face, which was already hot from the fire.

Tears unconsciously welled up again, my dear grandmother, never to be seen again.

"Ahh Mom frantically took out a tissue to help me wipe my tears and snot.

She was terrified, not because of my grief, but because she was suddenly without my grandmother, and she was going to start taking direct responsibility for me.

She can't do anything else, she can only try to make me look less sad on the surface, but my grandma is gone, the grandma who grew up with me, coaxed me to sleep, and sang to me is gone, how can you stop my tears?

"Don't cry, don't cry." My mother whispered comfort, hugged my shoulder with one hand, and wiped my tears with a tissue in her hand.

I suddenly felt bored, waved her flustered fingers away, and asked in a trembling and aggrieved voice, "Why can't I cry?" I'm just going to cry, my grandma is gone, my only loved one is gone. ”

"Hitomi, don't say that, you still have Mom and Dad, we, we ......" Mom tried her best to explain something, but as she spoke, tears flowed down her eyes first, and her voice was choked.

"What's wrong with you? You are my parents, you gave birth to me, but you didn't raise me, you threw me to my grandmother alone, you gave me money, did you take care of me? Have you ever taken care of your grandmother? When it rains, grandma's legs hurt, you know? Grandma coughs at night in winter and can't sleep night after night, you know? You don't know, you don't know anything, woo............" My voice became more and more uncontrollable, and finally merged with the cry. I couldn't say a complete sentence anymore, and it seemed that thousands of grievances were about to explode in my chest, and in the end it only turned into a vague cry in my mouth.

Dad couldn't help it after watching from the side, "Hitomi, don't make trouble, do you want grandma to walk unsteadily?" ”

Dad's voice was not loud, but it was like a hammer that made my cry suffocate, Grandma, the grandma I care about the most, I hope she can walk safely on the way to heaven.

The cry turned into a silent chok, and finally into a sigh that took the strength of my whole body.

"Nan, Nan"

My consciousness was the first to wake up, but my eyelids were heavy and unwilling to open them, and the cry in my ears was familiar, and I remember that it was the voice that woke me up all these years.

"Hello." Calling again, grandma seemed to know that I was awake, her voice was no longer eager, and she said faintly, "Grandma is leaving." "My eyes finally brightened, and I don't know if I opened my eyes or entered a dream.

Grandma sat on the edge of my bed, the sun was so bright, shining on my hair, shining golden light, grandma looked at me gently, and her fingers gently combed my hair again and again.

"My grandmother, grandma is going to accompany grandpa." Grandma's voice is soft, and Jiangnan's soft words are glutinous, "What about you, you're going to live with your parents, grandma is not by your side, you have to be a sensible child, don't always mess with your parents, okay?" Grandma leaned on my ear and kissed my hair gently, and I immediately smelled the unique aroma of mothballs and osmanthus head oil on her body, and my heart suddenly felt warm and quiet, like every summer night when she fanned for me.

"My nan, grandma is leaving, the most reassuring is you, although you will grow up one day, but in grandma's psychology you will always be the child who needs my care. Do you remember when you first arrived? It's still so small, the little feet stepped on the ground, swaying, and suddenly threw themselves into my arms, I hugged you, as if holding the most precious treasure in the world,......"

Grandma's voice was in my ears, from my childhood to the little interesting things we got along, one by one memories, I just lay there quietly listening, listening, and fell asleep again in a daze.

To this day, I still can't tell if it was a dream or my grandmother's soul saying my final goodbye.

In short, no matter how sad I was, how unwilling I was, my grandmother finally went into the ground, and on the day of the funeral, the weather was rarely clear, and my father said that my grandmother was reluctant to let us say goodbye in the rain.

This long and difficult three days, when it ends, I suddenly feel reluctant, is this kind of commemoration a little too short?

A person's life, from the end of these three days, from the moment of entering the earth, has come to a complete end, and the rest is only a mere form of commemoration of the annual Qingming Festival.

The old man who filled my fifteen years of life erased all traces of existence from this moment on.

After the funeral, I naturally couldn't stay in my hometown anymore. Mom and Dad didn't say it to my face, but I saw them arguing secretly and violently. What are you arguing about? Do you want to push me to someone else? For the first time, I felt so redundant.

The day after the funeral, my parents couldn't wait to go home, and they didn't even allow me to pack up slowly and remember the warmth of the past.

"No, no, no. …… Eh, what are you doing with that? I'll buy you a new one when you get home. …… Hitomi ~ good, these things are not needed, and there is no place to put them at home, so don't bring them? ”

I was a little overwhelmed and put down one item after another that seemed to me to be significant and useless to my mother, and finally my mother packed up a small suitcase that was not much bigger than a school bag, the suitcase was bright yellow, and there were cartoon stickers of One Piece stickers on it, which was a gift that I bought for my mother's summer vacation last year. The bright and beautiful ones don't fit in with my grandmother's home, just like the things I want to clean up are the same as my mother's home.

I walked over silently and secretly held a thimble that my grandmother used to carry with me for needlework, and my mother said, "I don't need it, but I need it."

The itinerary was monotonous, similar to every winter and summer vacation home, but this time I couldn't come back here, I shook the thimble in my palm, took a deep breath, and stepped through the security gate.

Car to train, train to plane, after more than ten hours of running, we finally came to the city where my parents lived, as soon as I got out of the airport, my eyes and ears were immediately blocked by the bustling and noisy crowd of traffic, I have always disliked here, everything here is too chaotic, noisy roads, flowing cars, high buildings that can't see the roof, every time I come over, I feel strange and irritable.

I leaned against the car window and closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, unwilling to look at these things, and my parents finally broke the silence all the way and began to call endlessly, as if they had finally come to life, yes, this is their life, their place.

Maybe I was tired of the bumps along the way, I was really asleep in a daze, and the grandmother in my dream stood under the osmanthus tree in the middle of the yard and smiled and waved at me, the smile was so warm, like golden sunshine.

I slowly woke up from the golden sunshine, the light through the gap in the curtains shone right on my face, I turned my head and looked at this strange room a little dazed, a row of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, full of thick and thin books, the single bed I slept in leaned against the window, and I could see from the crampedness in the room and the sofa that was temporarily pushed aside that they didn't have much time to clean up a room for me.

Sure enough, it's a superfluous person, a little disappointed in my heart, and a little accustomed to indifference, look at the alarm watch at the bedside, it's only six o'clock, it's usually lazy bed time, grandma will urge me to get up, while rubbing my hair with her fingers.

Now it won't be anymore, I thought a little lost, I didn't feel sleepy anymore, just get up.

After thinking about it, I turned around and folded the quilt, and simply put the things in the room together, and my grandmother said that I want to be sensible.

The room was quiet, I finally couldn't hold back, tiptoed out of the room, quietly walked around the house, and then found that my caution was not necessary at all, the bed in the master bedroom had been cleaned up, my parents had gone to work, and finally found a note on the kitchen table, pressed with bread, yogurt and mobile phones.

"Hitomi, mom has an emergency and can't send you to school, you obediently get dressed, go to the door next door and knock, cold-hearted brother will take you to school, call this phone number when you get to school, mom has already entrusted someone, they will arrange for you to go to class, mom will definitely send you there tomorrow!"

Love your mom

The handwriting is sloppy, and I can see that she is in a hurry, which I have seen too many times.

Inexplicably relieved, if they were really there, maybe I didn't know how to deal with it, Mom and Dad were both familiar and strange to me.

The bag was packed and placed on a chair next to the dining table. I put the note of my mother writing the phone in my pocket, and then went to brush my teeth, wash my face and get dressed, these things usually seem to be done with the help of my grandmother, but today I do it in an orderly manner, because my grandmother said that I want to be sensible here.

It wasn't until I was busy that the alarm table rang up, I have to say that my mother thought very thoughtfully, I gently pressed the close button of the alarm watch, I just never had time to accompany me, the only person in this world who was willing to accompany me, but lost forever.