Yan An, as his name suggests, is serious and rigorous, pursues perfection, and personally likes a stable and unchanging life. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

One day when she was eighteen years old, her best friend enthusiastically wrote: Small, say.

Writing?

She was curious, but when she realized that her best friend had to spend four or five hours a day creating, she was completely stunned and looked up and asked, "Update?" What's new? Aren't those articles updated by the system? ”

"What?"

"Isn't it true that the system is updated with thousands of words every day? That's not the case, so, that one word by one, you actually came up with it in your own head and typed it out by tapping the keyboard yourself?!!! ”

“……”

"It's not that I don't know about novels, I've read a lot on the Internet, and I've always thought ......" Yan An and his best friend stared wide-eyed, realizing their shallow ignorance for the first time, and, ridiculous.

She has always thought that what she sees is, like a mobile phone update. Authors, not people, but systems.

She was driven mad by her own ignorance.

After this episode, life was still uneventful for her, the only difference was that she began to really read books.

……

One day at a time.

Everything written by her girlfriend is the first to show her.

A certain day, a certain period of time.

She's on it. net, Yu Guang couldn't help but catch a glimpse of his penguin jumping and opening it to take a look.

"You write it too, right?"

She felt a little funny about her best friend's nonsensical hair, and replied directly: "I can't do it." ”

As soon as she thought that she had just begun to understand the "update" of the web/text, she wanted to laugh, how could such a person possibly enter/enter this field.

Moreover, she is a hedonist who covets comfort.

Before the age of twenty, she never thought about what her value was and whether she wanted to find her own value.

The change happened in a period when he was unprepared, and he made himself powerless to resist anything.

At that moment, she truly realized how passive and useless she was.

"What, the tuition fee for the next semester is so high?"

"Well......" The girl lowered her head, every time she asked her parents for money, it was like she was asking them for money, even if it was not for her own use.

"If you don't study, it's just a vocational school anyway, and it's a waste of time to get there, and I don't have the money to pay."

“……”

She didn't know why she just said one oh a minute, and then went into the room.

She didn't even bother arguing about anything.

Her grades were not good, she didn't get into high school, so even their parents defined her as incapable of learning.

She chose the vocational school by herself, and when she was happy that she had the freedom to choose independently, she didn't expect that they had never taken it seriously at all, so they let her choose.

Then, they irresponsibly say that the interruption will be interrupted.

The four pairs of eyes only saw themselves, completely ignoring her feelings as they stood aside. At that moment, she knew how important it was to be in control of her own destiny.

So, she dropped out of school, and her classmates who played well and her friends asked her, why didn't you have any advance notice, and suddenly you didn't come next semester?

She pretended not to be serious and smiled casually: "I'm out on vacation, I don't want to study." ”

In fact, she is really serious about learning dance, playing the piano, and reading kindergarten teachers' books.

During the holidays, she was at home, secretly calculating when school would start. The day before school started, she asked her father, "Do you want to go to school and talk to the teacher?" ”

The end result was that she didn't go to school anyway, and she didn't go to see the teacher.

Like a fugitive, he did the first irresponsible thing in his life, irresponsible to himself and irresponsible to the school.

……

During that time, it was the lowest ebb of Yan An.

No one listens to her words, let alone speaks, and her low mood sometimes doesn't even know herself, but her diary records her daily mood.

Every night she sat on the balcony and looked up at the dark night sky, maybe thinking, maybe in a daze.

Every night, as she thought quietly, she was suddenly afraid—

Someday, she will die.

There is no trace of her existence in this world, what a terrible thing it is for a person who has obviously existed?

She tried to leave something, leave something, put it in the world, prove that she really existed.

Now, she had a lot to say.

So, writing and writing, she wrote a story, and she became a serious, what others called it: Zuo. He who.

When her best friends stopped insisting, she was still writing, and persuaded her best friends to write with her.

She didn't want to be too lonely on this road.

However, the girlfriend was discouraged.

Yan An understands that her best friend and her are the same kind of person, either they don't do it, and when they do things, they are almost demanding of themselves and create the perfection they want.

And my girlfriend always feels that what she writes is wrong, and even feels that she writes badly, overthrows and rewrites, overturns and rewrites, overturns and rewrites, and finally does not write again.

She and her best friend are the same kind of people, but they are different in overturning and rewriting. She felt that the story that had not been changed had the most original flavor, so she hardly changed anything.

So, she was the only one left on this road, but it didn't matter, she could do it alone.

She began to do the first formal thing in her life seriously, and she had a faint feeling that this would become an indispensable hobby and career in her life. She writes in pursuit of happiness that one thing to do every day is enough, enough for her to find her own position.

However, at the beginning, there was resistance.

Someone asked her to sign a contract, but after her parents found out, they said directly: This is a lie.

Yan An said that he was very helpless: "Let you pay the tuition, do you think that the school is blindly asking for money and cheating you of your money, and now, people are still cheating you, what do you have that is worth cheating?" ”

But she didn't say it.

She just said, "Are you delusional about being deceived?" People all over the world are lying to you, aren't they? ”

It's too cowardly to cower and not dare to gamble.

In addition to writing stories, she is indeed completely unfamiliar with this field, and it is normal for her to have scruples because she has not set foot in it, but it doesn't mean that she can't bet, she doesn't dare to bet.

For the first time, she began to make real efforts for what she was going to do, and she tried to convince them, using all her strength, and they agreed, and she succeeded, and the end result was much more than they expected.

When the second book started, and the second time someone else came to her to sign/make an appointment, everything went well.

In this way, she felt that since she was sensible, she had been doing what she liked, and even if there was an accident tomorrow that killed her, she had nothing to regret.

She found the purpose of her life: to live every day as if it were her last.

That way, you won't be compromised or regretted.

However, she felt that she couldn't do just this one thing in her life, and she tried to find a real job, of course, the premise must be what she liked.

One night makes people sensible.

The dark years when her parents suddenly disrupted her life plan, the dark years when she didn't know what the road ahead was, and the years when she completely broke with the school gate, made her sensible.

Since she was sensible, she only did what she liked.

She found that she was still interested in the piano.

At the age of twenty, she went to register for a class and started another thing seriously. She likes to make life plans, she learns piano, and she wants to be a piano teacher in the future.

Do what you love and make money, killing two birds with one stone. And in the middle of writing the story, she suddenly had this idea because she didn't want to be so utilitarian when writing the story, and always pay attention to the so-called manuscript/pay.

She hopes that writing a story is a completely simple thing, and the piano can add a little meaning of "killing two birds with one stone".

……

Three years in the blink of an eye.

In the IE Fashion Design Hall around the corner, Qu Wanting's unique and beautiful singing voice came out: I never dared to think of wanting to do what I wanted, it turned out that I was not as fragile as they imagined, I just needed a lamp, a piano and a microphone......

In a foreign country, the ambition is far away...... Your love makes me strong......

The song ripples, you applaud me, immersed in the ocean of love.

I once imagined being a doctor to save lives, I also imagined being a lawyer, a journalist, and an Olympic champion, but to no avail, because what I wanted most was a lamp, a piano, and a microphone......

Yan An was walking on the pavement this day, she learned piano and applied for a piano teacher. Find your own rhythm of life and live the life you want...... It's a feeling -- it's just wonderful!!!

She didn't know if there would be any more accidents in the future that would disrupt her life plan and kick her to the bottom. Oh, that's what she's most afraid of.

She also knows that the world is impermanent, so over the years, she has been trying to give up making life plans.

Action seems to be a little more powerful than making a life plan.

Suddenly, there was silence.

Yan An suspiciously followed everyone's gaze and looked over, a cowboy, about thirteen or fourteen-year-old girls, carrying a small schoolbag, standing in the middle of the road, staring blankly at the car that was crashing into her, in the face of this sudden disaster, it seemed that the whole person was stupid......

Yan An didn't think much about it and rushed up to hug her, isn't it like this when there is a car accident in the TV series, and he avoided it by rolling to the side with that person...... But in reality, when trying like this, Yan An couldn't help but want to scold: TV series are all lies!

With the help of lightning, she reached out and pushed the girl away, and by the time she turned around, she already felt like she was flying......

……

"An An, An An ......"

In his deep sleep, Yan An always felt that someone was calling him in the distance.

But her body kept falling downward......

She was terrified, desperately trying to open her eyes, desperately trying to stop.

"Ahh

Yan An sat up suddenly, her widening gaze was the worried eyes of her parents, and their words were in her ears: "Wake up, wake up, you finally woke up!" ”

She looked at them unresponsively, but in fact she was suffering from the pain of a hundred limbs.

The doctor came, and slowly helped her to the bed.

"Parents, who's going to come out with me?"

"Me."

"No......" Yan An heard her father's response, and immediately spoke out, only to know how weak her voice was, her empty eyes slowly gathered the focus, looked at the doctor and said, "Doctor, about my situation, let's talk about it in front of me." ”

"......," she said after seeing the doctor hesitate for a moment, "your right hand is badly bone-wounded. ”

She closed her eyes fiercely, and gradually the corners of her mouth tasted salty.

"Your surgery was successful, but you have been in a coma for half a month, and your condition has been diagnosed. In the car accident, when your body fell to the ground, of course, your hand was not spared, it fell heavily to the ground, seriously injuring your right wrist...... So, now you basically don't go right hand hard. You also want to open a little, there is still a chance to recover. ”

Chance of recovery?

"Can I wait?" She muttered.

I finally found the value of life and found what I like to do, just like these two things need hands, can she wait?

Once again, the despair brought by the darkness ahead took her breathless.

She had never felt that life was so heavy.

There was also a mother's voice in his ear: "You said that you are a child, everyone stands aside and ignores it, you are good, rush up and save the child, and you don't know the consequences at all." As long as you are brave and courageous, as long as you are kind, why can't you be selfish, when you don't see it? ”

"Okay, you let the child be quiet." Daddy's voice.

When he heard that the door was closed, Yan An felt so cold, his whole body was cold, this feeling was so bad that it could be compared to the feeling when he was asleep.

……

The next day, Yan An slammed the medicine on the ground.

She cried at her parents, "My hands are useless, my hands are useless!" Do you know what that means? I can't play the piano anymore, I can't write stories anymore, I'm a useless person again - what am I going to do in the future, what am I going to do in the future?! ”

Throughout the ward, she was crying sadly. "I'm done......"

The road of life that she finally found was not long after walking, and the road under her feet collapsed, did she still have the courage to find another way?

When she opened her eyes and saw this useless right hand, she only felt that there was no hope, what a new start, everything was so far away from her, she could only do this.

Is this all she can do......

"Ahh

In her blurred vision, she saw the shocked and sad appearance of her parents, and felt that she was so cruel, and her parents must be more uncomfortable than herself......

But she really couldn't pretend to be nothing.

Is she psychologically strong, no, how fragile she is, how fragile she is, any misfortune could push her down.

It's never easy to get back on your feet.

……

As the days passed, the mood became more desperate than the days.

Yan An stopped talking, and the most common thing she did was: curled up herself, hid in the corner of the bed, stared out the window and stared blankly, sometimes not saying a word all day.

The parents outside the door always sighed through that small window.