Chapter Twenty-Five: Sure enough, it's still my fault
However, Makoto's explanation for Koji: I will "bring her home" promised not to come true. Pen? Interesting? Pavilion wWw. biquge。 info There's no particular reason for it.,It's just that the house here is really a distance away from the apartment where Makoto lives.,And he doesn't want to take Hanama Apricot home.。
After thinking about it, Makoto finally brought the apricot into the hotel, and the reservation was a private room for couples. Don't get me wrong, Makoto just thinks it's more natural to do this.
"What should I do after that?"
Actually, Makoto himself doesn't know.
Only Hanama Apricot is special, after all, she didn't remember until the early hours of yesterday morning, and she hasn't said to break up - Makoto's official lover. Although it is already in name only!
Makoto lay on the large white bed in the hotel, idly looking at the dim room after closing the window and closing the curtains. Makoto was thinking about what to do when Apricot woke up, and he began to recall the first phone call he received in the early hours of yesterday morning.
"Hey!"
"It's me, Makoto."
"Who?"
Although Makoto had already heard who it was, with a hint of luck, he chose to pretend to be stupid. Because of the dream of the cherry blossom girl just now, he had already remembered the identity of Yakumo Lanka, and also remembered why he had forgotten her, but because of this, Makoto didn't know how to face her.
As always?
No, only she is special.
"Makoto still doesn't remember who I am......"
There was a gust of wind on the phone, and Makoto guessed that Hanama was probably outside, and couldn't help but worry about her, but the next moment she realized it became more complicated. Makoto remembers the events of that night! It was a small thing that was not worth mentioning to him now, but it was this little thing that changed his life at that time.
"Is there anything wrong with you? If it's okay, I'll hang up! ”
Even if it's just a small thing, as trivial as it is, Makoto still can't forgive her - the one who lost her mind for betraying their Sakura vow.
In that way, after that, she is no longer the girl that Makoto likes, and she is no longer a girl who can like him; Such a narrow sincerity is no longer worthy of Hanama Xing, and she is no longer worthy of him after breaking her oath!
They are no longer suitable.
"Makoto, I want to see you!"
Anama on the other end of the phone had tears in her eyes, even though she wasn't in front of Makoto, and even though her voice hadn't changed in any way, he knew.
"What about after the meeting?"
"I want to meet you, and I want to apologize to you."
"You're not wrong, you don't need to apologize to me!"
Yes, there is nothing wrong with apricots among flowers.
Of course, Makoto doesn't feel like he's done wrong!
They just chose what they thought was the right choice, but the two right choices were exactly two paths.
The apricot between the flowers is walking on the avenue, but Makoto is walking alone on the small bridge, that's all! No one is wrong, but the choice that is clearly right has caused undesirable results.
"Makoto, can you give me a chance to apologize?"
At that time, Makoto heard the last voice of Anama Hanama, and he didn't answer her request. Makoto hung up the phone, and then blacklisted Anko Hanama's number, and Makoto didn't want to have any contact with her for a short time.
Whether it's the voice or the look, let her disappear for the time being!
"Am I doing something wrong?"
Even so, it doesn't matter!
Looking at the apricot Hanama who had fallen asleep, looking at her sleeping appearance, she fell into it unconsciously, as if she had returned to the past.
Ah~ It's a warm feeling that makes you feel happy.
She lay down next to Makoto or in her arms, and Makoto just stared at her in her sleep, and then smiled at her when she woke up and said, "Good morning, Apricot!"
Just like now!
After that, Apricot will definitely thank me with a comfortable smile: "Thanks to Makoto, I slept well!"
However, all of this is nothing more than a phantom of the past that exists only in Makoto's mind. Makoto has changed, and so are the apricots in Hanama, they can't go back to the past, everything is different from the past!
"Honest ......"
Just like now.
In the face of the sincerity of saying "good morning, apricot", there are only greetings and ellipses on the apricot heads among the flowers at this moment.
It's not the same as before, nothing......
Makoto who remembers the past is like a fool, only he remembers, and only he forgets them!
"How's the body? Does it matter? Tell me what you need! ”
Anyway, no matter how Hanama is a person she knows, he can't just leave her alone. Makoto said as a friend and in a tone of concern.
"Honest ......"
But there was only one word in response to sincerity -
Honest......
"I'm here, you can say it!"
"Don't leave my ......"
Hanama Kyoko grabbed Makoto's hand tightly, and her eyes were very haggard.
"I won't leave you quietly, I promise you!"
Maybe it's because I can't bear it, maybe it's because Cheng still has some nostalgia for apricots! Looking at her like that, after hearing what she said like that, Makoto still couldn't let go after all.
"Is it really true?"
"It's true!"
"Great......"
Hanama fell asleep again.
Makoto felt that something was wrong, and reached out and touched her forehead, but it didn't turn out to be hot, and it looked like she was probably too tired. Of course, the details still have to be diagnosed by the doctor in the hospital before making a decision, but Makoto will never do that.
Even if he dies, Makoto won't go to the hospital!
Cheng is not going to leave his choice in the hands of cold-blooded butchers.
There is no way, Cheng just shook the apricot between the flowers. Makoto tells her that he'll send her home right away, but to her surprise, Anka's residence happens to be downstairs from the Akina's house.
Cheng was quite emotionally moved by this, and she never told him about it, was she deliberately hiding it from Cheng? Or is it that the two of them haven't met in this apartment in a long time?
Makoto opened the door, first carried Hanama Xing to her boudoir with the princess hug, took off her coat for her, helped her lie down slowly, and then covered her with a quilt. After that, Makoto returned to the entrance and locked the door. Makoto then took a basin and towel to the bathroom to get some hot water, then returned to the boudoir to take off her underwear, wipe her body, and finally change into a clean set of pajamas.
Makoto told Hanama to have a good rest, and after calling her to get something to eat for a while, he left the room. Before leaving, close the bedroom door by the way. After a short break on the sofa in the living room, I got up and went to the kitchen to get busy. By the time everything was done, it had already reached half past seven in the evening, and the sky had already darkened unconsciously.
"Ah, it's been a long time since I've been so tired! Isn't it the same as the night we first met? I'm so tired! ”
Sitting on the sofa in the living room, Makoto complained as he gently hammered his back. Looking in the direction of the bedroom, he shook his head slightly, sighed softly, and then stood up again.
"How's it going, are you comfortable?"
Sitting in front of Hanama's bed, Makoto asked softly.
"Well, it's much better! It probably doesn't matter if you get another night's sleep! Thank you, Mako...... And ......"
"Is that so? That's good, then I'll ...... too."
"Stay tonight, Makoto! I hope you'll be with me tonight! Is it okay to have a change of clothes in the closet? ”
"Yes...... Bar...... Is that right? ”
Makoto interrupted what Hanama wanted to say, and she also cut off Makoto's retreat from wanting to say goodbye. What is Apricot Hanama pursuing? Probably just Makoto by her side!
- Because, she needs sincerity.
Just for that reason!
In lieu of answering, Makoto opened Hanama's wardrobe, and the sight was two sets of men's pajamas that were very conspicuous. There are also summer, autumn, and winter outfits, all of which are Makoto's favorite black.
Makoto won't ask Hanama why? And don't want to think about why, because he's already in a mess. Holding the pajamas in his hand, Makoto's heart felt very complicated, and he always felt panicked. He wanted to shout loudly with impunity, but he could only think about it.
Makoto couldn't do that, because he couldn't do it at all, no matter what......
- At least for now, he can't.
Makoto silently walked into the bathroom, let the hot water rinse the ****'s body, and stood under the shower, he was silent......
"Well, this cherry blossom pendant that Makoto gave me should be the one that Makoto owned! Why did this pendant turn red? Hanama picked up the blood-colored pendant hanging from her chest with her right hand and asked Makoto.
It was Cheng who wore it on Hanama's neck, but now it was put in front of his own eyes by Hanama Xing. Hanama looked at Makoto with a little uneasiness, as if to say.
-- Why?
"I don't know it myself, it's just that by the time I noticed, it had already turned a vivid crimson!"
It's like blood!
"And I don't really want to know why it turned out to be like that!"
(So, don't ask again.) )
"That's right......"
Hanama's expression was full of sadness, she stared at the blood cherry blossom in her hand, her eyes were so focused, three points of doubt, three points of puzzlement, plus three points of sentimentality and one point of self-blame.
"So, can I make a request to Makoto?"
Hanama's gaze shifted from the blood cherry blossom to Makoto, and she looked at Makoto with determination in her eyes.
I can't help but think, "Maybe it's useless to stop it!"
So, he plans to hear what Hanama wants to ask him for now.
"It's all of a sudden!"
"Now, can you hear my wishes? Honest! ”
"Let's talk about it!"
"Actually, when Makoto went to take a bath just now, I remembered a little bit of the past, and then I felt so nostalgic, and I felt a warm and happy feeling!"
"Is that so?"
Makoto said noncommittally.
"Originally, I always wanted to apologize to Makoto, and I waited for a long, long time at the agreed place for this, but Makoto never came. And then when I was about to despair, someone gave me hope. After listening to his words, I decided to go looking for Makoto, but at that time I realized that you had already left without realizing it. ”
Hanama's eyes are still on Makoto's body, but her mind is not on Makoto's body. She looked at Makoto, but the shadow reflected in her pupils was not Makoto.
"You didn't tell anyone when you left, and I didn't even look for it if I wanted to......"
Lost, sad and desperate at that time, people at that time are very fragile and will act like puppets according to instructions. As for the person who gave the instructions, he did not specify who it was, no matter who it was...... So, that state is very dangerous!
Take one wrong step and you'll never go back!
"But, by chance, I met that man again, and he gave me hope again, so I could find you. That's why I'm here, but I didn't think that the pain and sadness I had before was just the beginning of a nightmare......"
"People who like Makoto appear, and Makoto accepts them...... Although Makoto doesn't like them......"
"However, Makoto is now starting to like them, because you are so gentle! But in my opinion, it's just Cheng being snatched away, because I'm your lover! However, my lover is also a betrayer, the person I hate the most, the person I have forgotten......"
Hanama apricot cried, they shared the same bed, looked at each other, but Makoto didn't make any moves, he was just silent, silent......
What Hanama said is the truth.,In fact, the current Makoto is ready to accept them at the moment.,Makoto is gradually getting used to the moment they exist.,Begin to pay attention.,Begin to care.,Begin to be nostalgic...... Probably Makoto has already unknowingly liked them!
I can't deny it, this is the status quo, this is the truth.
"I understand when I see Makoto's eyes, even if I apologize to Makoto, even if Makoto forgives me. Even so, we can't go back to the way things were! ”
(Yes, we can't go back to the way things were!) )
"So I hope I can start over, so please let me say it anyway: 'I'm sorry, it's me who is bad, I hope you forgive me'!"
Hanama's words echoed in her ears, and she waited quietly with Makoto's eyes looking at her. Makoto, on the other hand, could only remain silent, and the silence continued.
A boy and a girl meet in a huge cherry blossom tree, and that encounter is really just a coincidence. While the boy was sleeping on the root of the cherry tree, the girl accosted him! Then a stranger who also happened to bump into this scene gave each of them an almost identical cherry blossom pendant, which is the origin of the cherry blossom pendant.
It was neither an antiquity, nor a fetish, nor even a token of love, nor a legend, but when they fell in love, they swore to the pendant they had in each other's possession that they would trust each other no matter what.
It is an agreement and a constraint, but it has also become the key to separation!
Makoto kept his promise, he had always believed in Apricot, and he had always thought that Hanama would trust himself as much as he trusted her, but it turned out to be just wishful thinking and self-righteousness!
(Ahhh...... In the end, it's me who is wrong, it's me who is not good! )
Yes, it's not good! It's because he's too naïve and willful.
If it weren't for Makoto imposing his will on Anama's body, probably they wouldn't have been like this!
If that's the case, Hanama should be happy right now!
(--Sure enough, it's my fault, it's my fault.) )
(-- This result is actually my sin.) )
(It was I, who escaped punishment - left her.) )
Forgiveness or non-forgiveness is meaningless, so what is the meaning of what Hanama said?
Probably, it reminded Makoto of things he hadn't thought about!
Did you run away again......
"You are no longer my lover, from the moment you broke the agreement, you have lost the qualification to be my lover, so you don't need to apologize to me, and I have nothing to forgive you!"
"That's right......"
Hanama's voice was very flat, quietly and gently without revealing any emotion. She stared at Makoto's face, as if trying to remember it. And Makoto completely ignored what she did, and Makoto's words weren't finished yet!
"Now you're just a classmate named Hanama to me. Get some sleep and forget about today's events! ”
After saying that, Makoto closed his eyes and stopped looking at the apricots in Hanama.
"Uh-huh!"
"So...... From now on, please advise, Makoto Ito. ”
Hanama Xing passed through his mouth to cry that he didn't know whether it was joy or sadness into his ears!
(What a troublemaker!) )