I don't remember one day, because of my parents' attitude towards me, I always said to me in a joke with everyone: "Are you your parents' daughter?" Why don't I think it looks like it? It doesn't look like it, and the personality doesn't look like it, anyway, there's no place like it! ”

The speaker has no intention and the listener has the intention. Indeed, there are five of us sisters, except for me, and the other four can see at a glance that they are carved out of a mold. How could such a coincidence occur? Thinking back to my father's attitude and eyes towards me, this really can't help but be suspicious!

I remember one time when I went home, the economic conditions were still quite poor, I wore a pair of newly bought pantyhose, and the door at home was scratched all at once, I was distressed and said to my husband: "Blind!" That's twenty-five dollars! ”

Dad said with a gloomy face on the side and a special sense of relief: "Look how rich you are!" ”

My husband and I looked at each other and neither of us spoke, and of course the sisters on the side didn't say anything. Originally, it wasn't nothing, but that tone and that look made me forget it for a long time, and I felt very uncomfortable when I thought about it!

Later, when I came home in winter, I took off my boots and ran to the kang because I was afraid of freezing my feet, and then asked my husband to put the boots in a place where others could not step on them, and my husband and I laughed: "Put it for me, this is more than 1,000 yuan!" ”

Without waiting for her husband to speak, Dad took it and said with a sinking face: "Look how rich you are, you have money to burn!" ”

I really didn't know what to say? Is it to see if I'm awkward or something else? Why did you come up with such a sentence for no reason? The third sister probably couldn't see it, and took over and said: "Working in the city, which one doesn't pay attention to dressing?" Isn't it normal to spend one or two thousand on shoes? You don't understand! ”

My husband was also very unhappy, as if he was deliberately angry with his father: "I don't know how many pairs of leather boots I bought and how much money I spent?" Some of them bought it and threw it aside, but they didn't touch it! I don't dare say anything! It's still a day long to shout that you don't wear it! ”

I just feel uncomfortable, and I don't know why my dad keeps saying things that make me feel bad. Or am I like the second sister and the third sister, and I will refute him a few words and there will be no more such things?

After my husband said this, I also don't feel like my parents' daughter, how nice it would be if I had a rich and powerful parent! They have been separated for many years and finally found me, and then I flew up to the branches and became a phoenix! How exhilarating is that? I can't help but fantasize about my other identity.

When I was fine, I called my second sister, and somehow mentioned the matter of my biological parents, I asked with the heart of trying it out: "Second sister, am I born to my parents?" How do I feel like I've picked it up? Do you think I don't look like you at all? The four of you are so similar, why am I not the only one who has anything in common with you? I can't pick it up, do I? ”

The second sister is seven years older than me, and she has more eyes than me when she started her work. She told me directly: "You are my mother's biological daughter, yes, you were born in our old house, and I still remember what you looked like when you were born." Whether you're my dad's biological or not, I don't know! However, my dad was working outside at the time and came home once a week, and my mom had a good relationship with a man named Mu Wenxi in the village, and he stayed at our house when he was fine! I don't know if you remember the man? It's been a long time since you've been dead, so why don't you do a paternity test with your dad? ”

When the second sister said this, my doubts in my heart were deeper, but I didn't know whether I should take this step? My husband saw that I was suspicious all the time and said, "If you really can't let it go, go for a paternity test." ”

I hesitated: "My dad should be more angry if he wants to know?" ”

My husband said with confidence: "I stole a few strands of Dad's hair, let's just do it secretly, we have to let him know!" ”

I still can't make up my mind: "Forget it! If I'm not my father's daughter, how sad would my father know? "At this point, I thought it would come to an end, but then I brought it up again, and I began to struggle again.

It was before my brother held a wedding banquet for my niece, the eldest sister came back from my daughter's house in Dalian, I took her home, and the two of us lay on the bed at night and talked idly, and I suddenly remembered what the doctor said when I had ear fistula surgery.

said to the eldest sister: "You see that I look no different from yours, do you remember that I had ear fistula surgery?" At that time, the doctor said that this thing is genetic, and my father or mother designated a person who also had this little eye in his ear! However, when I went home to see my parents, there was no one! ”

The eldest sister was suddenly surprised: "Mu Wenxi from our village has it!" Look at your appearance, you look too much like him, it's exactly the same! He later died of tuberculosis, he was never married, and he always loved to stay in our house when he had nothing to do! It seems that the relationship with my mother is very good! ”

The eldest sister and the second sister were talking about the same person, and my heart began to beat violently. Can't tell if it's sad or something else?

The eldest sister said: "At that time, my father always worked outside, and no one knew what was going on. Isn't it possible to do a paternity test now? Don't you know if you make one? ”

I suddenly wanted to cry, I felt very sad, and my emotions were a little out of control: "If I am not my father's biological daughter, does my father know that he can stand it?" How sad should he be when he's so old? "Eldest sister doesn't know what to do?

I was a little afraid of wolves and tigers, and there were many contradictions: "Forget it! In case I'm not my father's biological daughter, I won't even have a father in the future! It's been almost fifty years of life, and it's too miserable to lose all your father? Anyway, I've been calling my dad for more than 40 years, and he raised me to be an adult and provided for me to study, whether it's biological or not, I think he's my dad! I don't want to know if I'm my father's biological or not! ”

When I think about it like this, I feel a little relieved, it seems that this matter has been in my heart for a long time and has become a knot in my heart that I can't untie.

When we went to the eldest sister's house to sleep, across a wall, I faintly heard the eldest sister and the third sister talking about my father's business, because the voice was very low, as if I was afraid that I would hear it, and I couldn't hear what was said.

The next day, I mentioned the words of the eldest sister and the second sister to the third sister, and the third sister was very unhappy and said: "I know Mu Wenxi, he has been dead for many years, and I still remember his appearance, you don't look like him at all, this is impossible, don't think about it!" ”

I don't know if what the third sister said is true? Or is it to comfort me? Now that she's said that, and I don't want to delve into it anymore, it's hard to get confused! Now that I have spent most of my life in a daze, I can't help but continue to be confused, and I will still live the rest of my life carefree!

Just let everything return to the original reality, I am still me, or my parents' daughter, everything is no different, I am still the happy me who lives in the honey pot! If you can afford to put it down, you will always laugh at life, and beauty and happiness will always go hand in hand!

Afterword:

My memoirs can only be written for the time being until I am forty-five years old, and perhaps I will continue to write about what happened in the future.

Originally, I wanted to write about the experience of one of my good sisters, but after writing a few chapters, I suddenly didn't dare to write, I was afraid that I couldn't write well, so I changed it to write my own memoirs, and the title of the book at the beginning seemed off-topic, so I changed the title of the book again! But it's good to be wrong, at least while my memory is still sound (I suspect that I have amnesia or Alzheimer's tendencies), restore the things in my life that I think are very important, and it can be regarded as pouring out my experience (together with the first part of the colorless dream bamboo is my memoir before the age of forty-five), it can also be regarded as decompressing myself!

As Sanmao said: What I wrote is true, of course, the names have been changed, if you scandalize anyone, please don't sit down or worry about me, I just according to my own thoughts at the time, restored some things, and there is no malice, if anyone feels uncomfortable, I am here to express my deep apologies, sorry!