One day when she was nearly six months pregnant, her husband suddenly came home very early, and he laughed: "There is little meat today, and it will be sold out in a while, so I just went home to accompany my wife!" ”

I smiled all of a sudden: "It just so happens that I want to go home to see, my belly is getting bigger day by day, and it is inconvenient to go out again, go home and see, I don't know when I will be able to go back." Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info"

So my husband accompanied me home. As soon as I got home, I saw Baojuan, who was my sister-in-law, who also came with a big belly, and it turned out that she was also pregnant, nearly two months earlier than me.

She has grown tall and big, but now she looks fatter, with a chubby face, red and fluttering to look so healthy and happy, I heard my mother say that my sister-in-law goes to the store next door all day to eat fish, meat, vegetables and fruits, what she wants to eat, and she can eat it, how can it be unhealthy?

Looking at my sallow bitter gourd-like face, my sister-in-law can put my whole person down. I have only bought bananas once since I was pregnant, because I was worried about money, I ate two, said I didn't like to eat them, and the rest was eliminated by my husband, and then I never ate fruit again, I really wonder if I have a problem with my brain? At that time, no matter how poor you are, you shouldn't have a hard time with your stomach? As a result, her daughter was malnourished and born with skin and bones.

Now when I think of the ignorance, ignorance, and even miser that I really hated myself at the beginning, how could I do so many stupid things to save money?

That day, it happened that my father was going to go to the eldest sister's house for more than ten miles to do something, and my mother and sister-in-law were going to go together, and I also wanted to join in the fun and go to the eldest sister's house to have a look, so I sat on the donkey cart that my father drove, and several people were talking.

At that time, it was the time when the spring flowers were blooming, almost every household in the countryside had fruit trees, the yard, the fields were full of spring scenery, the apricot blossoms were about to wither, the peach blossoms were blooming, breathing the fresh air, feeling refreshed, and saying without thinking: "I want to eat plums!" "Thinking of the sweet and sour plums, I can't help but yearn for them.

Dad was driving the donkey cart in front, and he didn't look back, and said slowly: "If you want to eat, buy it yourself!" "I can't think of Dad saying that? Or did he just follow my words and say it casually? Or are you too sensitive and have low self-esteem? I really want to suck my mouth though.

I just said it casually, not expecting to be able to eat, it was not like now, as long as there is money to buy anything, and at that time I would not be willing to buy money, let alone expect someone to buy it for me, I am somewhat self-aware, there is no free lunch in this world, even if pie falls from the sky, there will not be so coincidence or so good luck, it will fall on my head impartially.

I stopped talking, my husband stopped talking, he knew that there was another layer of fog in my heart, but he couldn't remove it for me, let alone let me see the sun! We can only wait silently and patiently for the clouds to open and see the sunrise, we can only rely on our fate, and we are really powerless to return to the sky.

When we got home, we all seemed to forget what had happened, but nothing had happened at all, and we were suspicious. We continued to wait and wait for the arrival of the child.

One noon a few days later, my father came to the house unexpectedly, but my husband was not at home. I went out to buy two beef flatbreads, and my father told me the purpose of the trip: "I heard that some places in the city have moved, and I don't want any asbestos tiles, broken furniture, etc." Our family wants to repair the pigsty, there is no grass on the shed, and we want to see where the city is moving, and get some broken asbestos to go to the house. I walked around here and didn't find anything, so I guess I'll have to touch it slowly! ”

Of course, I know that Dad has his own mission every time he does something, and Dad is not the kind of person who can walk around, he always thinks about things. Seeing that my father came to get nothing this time, I felt a little upset, so I said to my father: "Dad, I'll let Chunming pay attention when he is okay to see if he can meet it!" ”

Dad breathed a sigh of relief: "Then you can let Chunming help you take a look!" I had nothing else to do, so I went home. ”

I stuffed my dad with a hundred dollars and took him to the bus stop. Watching my father leave in the car, I felt a little uncomfortable: my father had worked hard all his life, if it weren't for his incompetence, he couldn't give his father enough money and things, and he couldn't let his old man do whatever he wanted in terms of money, so he wouldn't have lived a happy life! I hope that I will be surrounded by thousands of dollars all of a sudden, so that the chicken and dog can soar, how can my parents suffer from this kind of suffering?

In the evening, I told my husband the purpose of my father's visit, and the words revealed uneasiness and self-blame, and my husband was very unhappy and said to me: "You have a pure psychological disorder, no matter what is not on yourself, you always blame yourself for what happens, always think that it is your own mistake or incompetence, the more you are like this, there will be many things that you and others do not want to happen." ”

It's true, although I understand this truth, I can't always get around this bend, probably the authorities are confused, right? I am just an ordinary person, how can I be satisfied with everything and make others happy in everything? As long as you have a clear conscience, why always ask for troubles and take responsibility for yourself?

As the years go by and as we age, many facts have become apparent. Each family sweeps the snow in front of their own door, and they can't take care of their own affairs, so what energy and ability do they have to care about so much?

After more than two months, my bulging belly became even more inconvenient, and I couldn't even walk. The clumsy appearance feels like a big stupid melon, brittle and useless. At this time, I was overwhelmed by another accident. That afternoon, I was about to wash two pieces of clothes by hand, when someone outside the door shouted: "Wang Dayan! Wang Dayan! ”

I suddenly became energetic, how can it be like my mother's voice? When I went out, it was my mother, she took her second sister's nephew, who was just two years old, because she couldn't remember which door was my house, she kept shouting my name with her natural clear voice.

As soon as I entered the house, my mother smiled and said, "I just remember that your family is here, why are all the houses in this area the same?" I can only explain: "This is a house built by a unit, of course, it is all the same!" ”

After saying a few words, my mother saw that I was washing clothes, so she took off her clothes casually and threw them in the laundry tub: "My clothes are not buried, and my clothes are washed by hand!" ”

In fact, my mother is the kind of person who is very arrogant, she rarely thinks about things, let alone puts herself in the shoes of others, never pays much attention to some small things and details in life, and can't see the height of her eyebrows.

It's so coincidental, this sentence and an action, which is not a small episode at all, happened to be seen by my husband who had just entered the house after work. With a gloomy face, he walked to the laundry tub, bent down to pick up his mother's clothes, fell to the side with a "snap", and said in a somewhat embarrassing tone: "You are like this, it is difficult to stay by yourself, what kind of clothes do you wash?" ”

Mom obviously felt something, and said with some embarrassment: "I don't bury my clothes, I can wash them or not!" ”

I glared at my husband, who stopped talking, squatted down to replace me, and started to do the laundry. Mom felt bored after sitting for a while, and stood up: "I'll go to that house to see Xue Yan and the child, how is she now?" ”

While talking, without waiting for us to answer, the person has already arrived at the back door, I thought that my mother would come back soon, but I didn't mean to come back for a long time, my mother is familiar with everyone, whether you know each other or not, you can talk about it quite a lot! And she stayed here for a few days when she last saw a doctor, and she was already quite familiar with Xue Yan.

Besides, the second sister's child is just two years old, and I have only met twice, and he doesn't know me at all, followed by grandma, of course he wants to fall in love with grandma, so long without grandma coming back, he began to cry, my pregnant belly is inconvenient, let alone coax the child, the child only knows to be anxious when he cries. The husband turned around and went next door to find his mother.

Probably my husband didn't have a good face when he saw his mother, and soon his mother came back from next door, without waiting to speak, her eyes were bloodshot, she gritted her teeth, and hit her little nephew the back a few times, and she couldn't stop scolding in her mouth, which made me uncomfortable and even embarrassed and painful. The child was so frightened that he stopped crying and looked at his mother stupidly, a little frightened and a little inexplicable.

I immediately thought of the scene of being beaten and scolded by my mother when I was a child, and my mother's expression was not much different from what I remembered, it was the scene that often woke me up in my dreams and palpitated, and it was the scene that accompanied me throughout my childhood until I was a young adult. I can't imagine that after so many years, my mother's expression hasn't changed much, the difference is that this time her anger is used on the next generation who is only two years old!

My mother's actions were really too unexpected for me, not only did she recreate my childhood experience, let me relive the horrific scenes of my dreams, but also stirred my unrestful panic, and the indescribable sadness and despair that enveloped my fragile heart for a while. I felt alone, frightened and hopeless, in a dark, bottomless situation.

How could she do this to a two-year-old child, or was she just looking for an outlet, someone to vent to? I really don't know how my second sister, who only had a son at the age of thirty, would feel if she knew what was happening in front of my eyes? Will she still feel at ease to let her mother help take care of the child? Is my mother's anger a dissatisfaction with me or a dissatisfaction with my husband? Or maybe my mom was very upset with both of us?