Because of Jingming's evasion, Ansu fell into the pain of falling out of love. www.biquge.info Once a girl is rejected, the first thing that comes to mind is that she is not good enough, and the same is true for Ansu. She searched for Jingming's figure all the time, but often just looked at it from a distance, and did not dare to approach. She was really afraid that she would see Jingming look disgusted at her. Looking at the still lonely figure, she always wondered where she was not good enough.

Why would he rather be alone than be by his side? She really couldn't figure it out.

Ansu's hot water bottle suddenly broke, and the boiling water she called back at noon had turned into lukewarm water at night, but she didn't know it. It wasn't until I took a shower and took off my clothes at night that I found out, and in the end I could only grit my teeth and take a warm bath that was close to cold water. Unfortunately, she fell ill the next day after taking a warm shower in the winter, and she had been depressed and her illness was menacing, so she rested at home for a few days. Grandma thought that Ansu was just sick and uncomfortable, and she didn't see anything strange about her at all, so she just took care of her.

The first person to visit An Su at home was Xiang Hui, but she had a high fever and fell asleep in a daze just after taking medicine. I felt someone gently touch her forehead, thinking it was grandma, and I fell asleep again with a grunt. When she woke up, her grandmother told him that a male classmate named Xiang Hui had come to visit her.

Ansu listened and was disappointed.

Liu Xiaoxia also came to visit her. At that time, Ansu had already felt a lot better, and she had the energy to sit up and chat with her.

Seeing that her good friend was in pain, Liu Xiaoxia comforted her and analyzed her: "Shi Jingming shouldn't know the news of your illness yet." I'm sure I'll come to see you. In my opinion, it's not that he doesn't like you, in his heart, you are different. Didn't you notice that he had almost no contact with any girls except you? ”

When An Su heard this, hope immediately ignited in his heart.

Liu Xiaoxia continued to analyze: "The reason why he avoided may have his own reasons. Maybe he just wants to study hard for the time being, and doesn't want to talk about feelings too early; Maybe it's inferiority, being able to accept one's own flaws doesn't mean that you won't have low self-esteem in the face of the person you like. ”

"I never thought that not being able to speak was a defect, in my heart, he was the most beautiful, unmatched," Ansu said. If he doesn't want to talk about feelings too soon, I can wait. But I can't accept it, he has an attitude of rejecting people from thousands of miles away. Once upon a time, we talked about everything. I'm going to ask him, and I'm going to ask him! ”

Jingming only learned about Ansu's illness after school on the weekend. He hadn't been back to the monastery for three weekends, and on weekdays, the two of them went home together. Although he had been hiding from Ansu, after thinking about it, he still went to find her to go home with him.

Standing at the door of An Su's house, Jingming hesitated for a moment before gently knocking on the mottled wooden door. There was no response from the door, and he found that the door was unlocked and that there should be someone in the house. He gently pushed the door open, but unexpectedly, he saw An Su walking out of the room.

Ansu paused, and instead of greeting him, he stood there and looked at him. She hadn't seen her for a few days, and she was obviously haggard The moment she saw Jingming, her eyes involuntarily showed a faint resentment.

Jingming saw the resentment in An Su's eyes, and he who had always been calm became overwhelmed at that moment.

Neither of them seemed to intend to speak, so they looked at each other for a long time, as if there were thousands of mountains and rivers in between. In the end, An Su opened his mouth first and said quietly: "You are here!" "It's not about asking, it's about telling yourself the answer, the answer you've been waiting for.

Jingming nodded.

Ansu slowly walked under the old mulberry tree and sat down on the swing.

Jingming hesitated for a moment, closed the door, and walked over to her.

"Are you feeling better?"

An Su shook her head, "It's not good." ”

Jingming looked at her in alarm.

Without waiting for him to ask, Ansu told him directly: "There is no cure for heart disease!" ”

Jingming was stunned, obviously not expecting An Su to say this.

An Su looked straight into Jingming's eyes, and his gaze instantly became hot. "Why are you avoiding me?" Since he's here today, she must have an answer.

An Su's blazing gaze made Jing Ming unavoidable, and he could only bow his head slightly.

"I'm so bad that I annoy you?"

Hearing this, Jingming raised his head suddenly. He eagerly explained: "No. You've always been the best in my heart. ”

"It's not that I'm bad, it's just that you don't like it. Is it? ”

Jingming shook his head.

Seeing him like this, An Su's tone became tough, "What's that?" I'm going to have an answer today. You said! ”

Jingming lowered his head and was silent for a moment, as if he had made up his mind before raising his head, looking at An Su and saying, "I have been an outcast since I was a child, and I don't know why I was abandoned by my family. When I became sensible, I understood my own flaws. I have been sad, I have complained, and I have knelt in front of the Buddha and asked the Buddha. But from the moment I came into contact with the Dharma, I was no longer sad, I was no longer resentful, because I understood that all of this was my karma. I once asked Master why the brothers and sisters should devote themselves to cultivation. Master told me that in order to liberate myself from the suffering of samsara, all the karma in this life was created by the previous life. Through practice, one realizes life and death, renunciates greed, and attains nirvana. So, I followed the practice of my master and brothers. As my practice deepened, I gradually understood what the Buddhist scriptures said, 'Compassion can give happiness, and compassion can relieve suffering', and then I was determined to devote myself to my practice, so that I could promote the Dharma and benefit all sentient beings like my master in the future. ”

Hearing this, An Su was stunned. After a long time, she asked in a trembling voice: "Are you telling me that you want to become a monk?" ”

Jingming nodded firmly.

Ansu shed tears of disappointment.

Anso, who wants to get the answer, returns to school after struggling with the pain of falling out of love for two days.

Since then, Ansu and Jingming have been inseparable on campus. This also did not attract everyone's attention, because Jingming is an object that is easy to be ignored by everyone, and Ansu is not familiar to everyone. But someone still noticed this subtle change, and that was Xiang Hui. Because he is the one who pays attention to Ansu all the time.

This change made Xiang Hui very happy.

An Su also didn't know what kind of mentality he was with Xiang Hui for, maybe it was because it felt good to have someone to accompany him in the midst of loss, or maybe it was just for psychological venting.

In order to have more time with An Su, Xiang Hui told his mother that the final exam was approaching, and he would step up his time to review, eat in the school canteen at noon and evening, and participate in the school's evening self-study. Peng Dongjun and Tu Yunxi began to count Xiang Hui's heavy and light friends, but they could also understand the pain of his long-term begging. Zou Mingfang saw that Xiang Hui had changed a lot this semester, and his studies were gradually catching up, and her son was willing to study hard, so she didn't think much about it.

Xiang Hui during this time is undoubtedly very happy. Although he and An Su have not become boyfriend and girlfriend, they have spent a lot of time together. The two went to the canteen to eat and chat together. Although many times, it was he who was talking and An Su was listening, but he also felt very happy. Every morning, Xiang Hui goes to school full of joy. After the school evening self-study class, I watched Ansu walk into the dormitory building before reluctantly riding her bicycle home. Lying in bed at night, always looking forward to the dawn. Such a day is so simple and happy for him.

For Ansu, it is an attempt to numb herself again and again with this apparent happiness. In the same school building, I often meet with Jingming. But they are no longer good friends who have no guesses, and they only nod and say hello when they meet. Every time she looked at the figure of Jingming leaving in a hurry after saying hello, she could look at it in a daze for a long time, and let the bitterness fill her heart.

In fact, Xiang Hui saw all this, but he never said it, just pulled her away without saying a word. Because he believes that as long as they are together, they will definitely get better and better.

Liu Xiaoxia once asked An Su if she liked Xiang Hui.

Ansu shook her head. Whether this shake of the head was denial or not, even she couldn't figure it out.

Liu Xiaoxia reminded her that if she didn't like him, don't give him hope. Otherwise, it will hurt him and make it difficult for himself.

Ansu didn't listen.

The final exams are over, and the winter break has officially begun.

The day after the exam, Ansu packed up the things she was going to take home and brought them downstairs to the dormitory. Xiang Hui was already waiting there, helping her carry her things home. Xiang Hui didn't dare to stand at the door of the dormitory building blatantly, because the dormitory teacher was there. He was standing at the entrance of the commissary not far from the dormitory. It was the cold winter wax moon, and the commissary was facing the wind, and he was so cold that he sneezed heavily.

After waiting for a long time, he saw An Su walking out of the dormitory building with a big bag and a small bag, he rushed over, snatched the things in her hand, and kept complaining: "How do you look like a snail?" Slow to die. This place is so cold, I'm freezing to death. After saying that, he couldn't help but sneeze again.

Ansu ignored him. She didn't have to carry things for a while, and her steps were much lighter.

Xiang Hui followed behind with his things, and said dissatisfiedly: "Hey! I've been waiting for you here for a long time, and I'm almost burping in the cold, and you don't even ask. ”

Ansu turned around and asked him, "What do you ask?" Cold or not? ”

Xiang Hui glared at her, suddenly like an aggrieved little daughter-in-law, "Anyway, you can also say something to me." ”

When An Su saw his appearance, he couldn't help but say, "Why do you look like a little daughter-in-law!" With that, he turned and walked forward.

When Xiang Hui heard this, he immediately glared, "You're just a little daughter-in-law!" ”

An Su didn't want to quarrel with him, so he sighed and said, "Okay, big man, I've worked hard for you!" ”

Xiang Hui muttered in the back: "There is no sincerity at all." ”

An Su just wanted to ask him what kind of sincerity he needed, and as soon as he looked up, he saw Jingming standing not far away, carrying his cloth bag that had been used for many years on his right shoulder, and carrying a small bag of things in his hand.

Jingming looked at An Su, then at Xiang Hui behind her, smiled faintly, didn't say anything, and turned to leave.

Ansu looked at his back, still lonely.

Is that what he wants?

For the sake of his lofty ideals, choose a life of solitude.