In fact, strictly speaking, whether I get married or not, whether I want to have children or not, whether I love a man or a woman, this is just a very ordinary life choice. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

In my opinion, it's even ordinary, like playing with rice or steamed buns at night.

But in the eyes of many people in society, if a woman chooses not to get married, it becomes a big rebellion.

Not to mention the great cloud country in a patriarchal society, even in our modern society, we have not completely gotten rid of the shadow of a patriarchal society.

Not to mention those all-round social pressures and social discrimination, let's just say that there are specially invented words that discriminate against women who don't want to get married?

Single dogs, leftover women, old virgins, golden leftover fighters... Oh my God, it's just a matter of hand.

If a girl says she doesn't want to get married, then there must be a bunch of people sneering: 'What kind of singleness, it's clear that no one wants it, it's ugly, right?' Poor, right? Can't find a man, right? It's obviously leftover, but I have to say that I don't want to get married. ”

Or whatever: 'You're too high-minded, you don't look down at what virtues you have, you're almost done.'" If you can't find a partner, it's because you can't do it yourself, and the level of life is there, so you can't find a good man. ’

This sounds very reasonable for a while, but if you carefully taste the products, what kind of thoughts and values are conveyed in these common and familiar words?

All of these assumptions have preceded the conclusion that if you are a woman, you must marry.

But why!

Who prescribed it?

Who stipulates that women must take it as their responsibility to find a good man to be their husband?

The above words are not only said by men, but also by women.

I don't know why, for the same kind, women always prefer to have a sense of superiority.

My husband can pamper me, he can make money, what kind of work he can't do for me......

Women always like to show off these things because they feel like it's something to show off?

In fact, not only people's inherent notions are like this, but also some mainstream media, and even many books I have read, those marriage and love experts, and emotional experts are vigorously exaggerating a kind of thinking that it is shameful not to get married and that it is wrong not to get married.

It takes a lot of chapters to write some; 'Top 10 Strategies for Leftover Women to Get Off Singles', 'Leftover Women to Get Off Singles to Win'? Or some 'how to manage a marriage', 'how to keep your love fresh', 'how to keep your husband not cheating'...

These things are especially popular among women, but when have you ever seen a man see these things?

Of course, existence is both reasonable.

Since this thing is popular, it shows that we really need the help of these ideas in our lives, to help us manage our marriages, to help us maintain our families.

But that's the scariest part of it.

It's these thoughts, these practices, these experts, they're really doing it for our good!

You have to be beautiful like a flower, you have to be independent, you have to go up and down to the kitchen, you have to make money but you can't be strong, how do you get along with your husband, how do you get along with your husband, how to get married, keep it fresh, so that your husband will not cheat, how to save your marriage if you cheat...

These things are actually really good for us.

In the current state of society, this is for our good.

Scary isn't it?

You've become a superwoman, and yet all you've done is just to have an enviable marriage, scary, isn't it?

Think about it in another way, what is the difference between these things and the harem competition that Tang Fei needs to face every day?

Tang Fei's competitors are the real concubines, and everyone's competitors are the juniors hidden everywhere, all kinds of strange temptations, and all kinds of crimes against women......

I have to admit that the so-called equality between men and women, even in modern society, is just a superficial thing, and the most fundamental thinking is still unequal.

It's not just men who think this way, but women who also think this way, because they are so used to it, so no one feels uncomfortable.

I said so many things that some people must not understand and even think that I am sick.

But what I want to say is that whether you want to get married or not, what kind of life you choose, this is a natural life choice for a person, there is no right or wrong, regardless of men and women, it is normal.

When dealing with some things in life that are clearly unfair and unreasonable, we choose to compromise, not because he is right, but because life compels us.

It was precisely because of this realization that Tang Fei didn't want to say anything to dissuade Lan Zhao, let alone go to great lengths to persuade her to 'return to the right path'.

It's just that there should be worries and worries.

"Lan Zhao, do you know how much pressure you will face in the future with this choice?" This is not Tang Fei's nonsense.

Becoming a relative is not necessarily happy, but the pressure that you will face if you don't become a parent is also visible.

Not to mention anything else, there is a ready-made example in front of me, that is, Mr. Poetry before Tang Fei entered the palace, Mr. Jiang.

Mr. Jiang had a rough first half of his life, his family was in great trouble, and he never married.

Now he follows his mother Gu to run the 'Yuxiang Poetry Society' every day, but when he enters and leaves the Tang Mansion, he also looks like he has experienced the vicissitudes of life.

Tang Fei remembered that at that time, many slaves and maidservants in the Tang Mansion secretly called her 'old zombie' and 'old aunt'.

Lan Zhao smiled with relief: "The slave maid naturally knows the difficulties that this decision may face. It's just that for slaves and maids, life is already full of suffering. For slaves and maids, it is far easier to bear these pressures than to marry into a family that is bound and intrigued every day. ”

Yes, life is a trade-off.

is like Tang Fei, in her opinion, only climbing higher, only grasping power is the true meaning of happiness and freedom.

But for other women, what they pursue is stability and comfort, and they marry into the back house.

So for Lan Zhao, what she pursues is independence and freedom.

In her mind, love marriage may be precious, but it is not enough for her to give up all her current happiness in exchange for a marriage that she doesn't know if it will be happy.

Chasing hard may not necessarily get what you really want, but knowing what you really want will undoubtedly make your life happier.

As if he was afraid that Tang Fei would not understand, Lan Zhao rarely explained two more sentences: "Getting married, what do you do when you get married?" Stay in a house every day, husband and children? Be a good wife and mother? ”

"To serve his in-laws, to manage the interpersonal relationships of such a large family, and to take care of his bunch of little wives? For a him, I have nothing. I can only wait and wait day after day, year after year, and this is it, and I have to be afraid to continue to learn some knowledge that I don't like, just so that I will not become an 'abandoned woman'? ”

Lan Zhao shook his head: "This is not the life I like, nor is it the life I want. ”

"Some people may think that this is the happiness of the long stream of water that is worth pursuing all their lives, but the slave maid grew up in the official music workshop since she was a child, and she did not have her father and mother to teach these three obedience and four virtues, so she became so 'rebellious'." Speaking of this, Lan Zhao laughed self-deprecatingly.

Tang Fei suddenly realized that women in ancient times were instilled with all kinds of feudal traditional ideas since they were children, believing that 'follow the father at home, marry the husband, and give birth to a son'.

These ideas are scoffed at by our modern women, we think these things are feudal, we think they are backward, but in the country of Great Clouds, all women feel that these are natural and deserved. Because this is the education they received from childhood to adulthood, and it is a thought shared by all people.

Just because it's universal doesn't mean it's right.

So are the ideas that we have been indoctrinated in since childhood, our ideas, really right?

Could it be that hundreds of years from now, we will also be criticized as ignorant feudals?

This is probably where 'feminism' has a long way to go.

Yu Yehang said

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