I felt a thrill in my heart. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

But it's just excitement.

Why is there no feeling of joy, no pleasure of getting one's wishes, no impatience of urgency?

I only know that I have been in a very urgent mood to go back to Qiantang recently, and I am very anxious to see Lan Sheng. But now when I hear the word "go back", I can't get in a hurry.

These two words just sound tempting, it is like a gorgeous fruit hanging in front of me, but it looks tempting, but in fact it is empty inside.

What if I go back? In that plane, I had no relatives, just myself.

But here, I have a home in Qiantang, Lan Sheng, Yueying, Master, and other friends.

Why do I think life here is real and mine?

"Why didn't you speak?" She asked.

"I'm thinking about ......"

"What do you think? Did it work? She scoffed.

"It didn't work." I acted calm. Trying to put myself in a proper position to weigh all of this in front of me.

"You're hesitating." She was like a sensitive cat who could easily detect what I was thinking.

I was silent for a moment, but still calmly replied, "Yes." ”

"What the hell do you want to do?" Her voice suddenly became sharp.

"What do I want to do?" I thought it was ridiculous, and after a pause, I said, "When I was in the mirror world, you told me what I was going to do, didn't I do what you said?" ”

"Since you remember why you were born again," she said in a softened tone, "then don't hesitate. If you go back, you have escaped samsara. You don't have to stay here and suffer. ”

I paused for a moment and said, "If I go back, what about you?" Don't you just don't exist? ”

"Of course. I exist because my soul can't wear it back after I die, and if I can go back, then I don't exist anymore. I am you, don't you understand? ”

"I understand." My answer was so short that it chilled the whole atmosphere.

In the terrible silence, I could feel that we were testing each other's minds.

"What if," I asked, "not going back?" What will happen? ”

"Hahaha......" She suddenly burst into a shrill laugh, mocking and angry.

I waited quietly, neither interrupting her nor urging her.

"How? Only death remains. She said coldly.

No, in addition to death, there is waiting.

Instead of rushing to contradict her, I asked her, "Don't you have anything to be nostalgic for here?" ”

She was silent for a while, and Fang said, "Can you take it away?" ”

"No, but I can stay with them for a long time." I replied.

"For a long time?" She raised her voice, "How long can it be?" Maybe you'll die in a few years, and then you'll find yourself in a new space-time and you'll find that you've only been able to spend a few years with them, and you can't stay with them for long, and you'll have to go through the same pain every time you're reborn. Would you like that? ”

After a long time, I said, "I can get out of samsara and create another time and space." Then, his tone became much firmer, and he said, "Maybe I won't die so easily, I will live past the age of thirty-nine, and as long as I survive the last node, it will be another plane." ”

After a pause, he continued: "I didn't understand it before, but now I suddenly figured it out. It's like a game of building blocks. When you build the bricks on the lower floor, you have to build them firmly, or the bricks will collapse, so I can't easily change the original nodes of the plane, because that will cause the plane to collapse. If I build the lower layer of building blocks, I can continue to build the upper layer of building blocks, the lower layer of building blocks are all style requirements, this is like the past time and space have a fixed node, but if I live past the age of thirty-nine, then it does not belong to the past time and space, it is another time and space that I need to build myself, and there is no so-called node, so I can build the blocks of this layer as I want. ”

After the call, I felt very happy, and took advantage of the excitement to go down and said: "If I live past the age of thirty-nine, I can stay with Lan Sheng until I am old, and there are so many relatives such as Yueying, Daddy, and the eldest brother and third brother, I will always accompany them for a long time." ”

After a moment of silence, she said, "What you said is really enviable." ”

The tone is cold, but I really can't hear the slightest hint of admiration.

"Can you live past the age of thirty-nine? Will you survive the last moment? There was real suspicion in her voice.

"Why not?" There was a faint anger in my heart.

She chuckled lightly and said, "Let me see, you are newly married not long ago, the pillow is embroidered with Dilian, and the quilt is woven with Luan Feng." Now you naturally can't imagine why you can't live past the age of thirty-nine, you are still young, the days are still long, now you should have hope for the future life in your heart, right? I hope that in the future, the husband and wife will be harmonious and the family will be harmonious. That's why I'm working hard to maintain it. ”

I couldn't help but nervous, and I argued dryly: "The relationship between people must be well maintained, even if it is a husband and wife." ”

"Aren't you tired?" She immediately answered.

I was a little caught off guard by the question, and I was stunned for a while before I said, "I'm not tired, I want to do it myself, and it's not someone else who forced me to do it with a knife." ”

"And what if you managed to keep it up, only to find out that things were still a mess?" She asked.

I didn't reply immediately, paused for a long time, and said, "Since you've worked hard, how can it still be a mess?" ”

"Why not?" She asked rhetorically.

yes, why not? Since I married into the Lan family, I have been working hard to please my mother-in-law, but what is the result? My mother-in-law still looks lukewarm to me.

I suddenly felt a little stunned, but I still replied, "There will always be a little bit of change." ”

Can such a change change change the final result? If not, would such a change be useful? Her tone was aggressive.

I was silent for a long time and said, "What do you mean by 'final result'?" All I know is that I have to keep going, I have to try to live, and I have to survive the last moment. ”

She sighed and said, "If we didn't have a chance to go back, I would be very glad to hear you say such a thing, but now, we have a chance to go back, then I'd rather you don't think like this, don't be so stubborn and insistent." ”

"It's not aimless stubbornness, I just want to ......"

Before she could finish speaking, she interrupted, "Just staying here, just not wanting to leave them?" I just want to be there for them all the time......"