I don't love him anymore. Pen fun and pavilion www.biquge.info

I said it so easily. Am I really not in love with Lan Sheng? But why does my heart still hurt, I feel reluctant, and I feel unwilling?

Yueying didn't speak, and the room was terrifyingly quiet for a while.

After a moment of silence, I added, "It's that I don't want to love him anymore." ”

Yue Ying opened her mouth and said, "Zhu Niang and my aunt are husband and wife, why do you say such a thing?" Aren't husbands and wives going to live together for the rest of their lives? ”

"Why live together if we both feel pain?" I asked, and I said, "I wouldn't choose that kind of life." ”

Yue Ying looked at me for a while and said, "Then Zhu Niang thinks that it won't be painful to leave my aunt and be with Liang Gongzi?" ”

"I didn't say I had to be with Liang Gongzi," I explained, "but I just felt that this life was not what I expected, and my life didn't necessarily have to be tied to other people." ”

Yue Ying was stunned for a while, and said: "I don't understand so much, but I know that if Zhu Niang does that, it is likely that she will be called 'unchaste' and ...... in the future How are you going to live in the future? ”

"Backwards?" I muttered.

Yes, there's still to come. Even if I survive the last moment, I'm still going to have to stay here. If, as Yueying said, I really bear the name of "unchastity", then how should I live?

Wasn't that the case in previous lives? Because of his infamy, he finally threw himself into the lake with depression.

Isn't it because I'm back on this plane to change all that? Harmony with Lan Sheng Qinse, when you grow old, there will be no so-called "unchastity", and there will be no unbearable infamy.

But now, how could I possibly spend my life with Lan Sheng? This is not only because Lan Sheng accepted Yun Qing, but also because a series of events have happened that make me feel that my heart can no longer be placed with him.

When the fidelity and uniqueness of marriage cease to exist, love will be wiped out.

I was silent, thinking to myself, if the unhappiness of my previous life was repeated in this life, would I be able to face it? No matter how bad the rumors are, can I bear them?

I do not know.

People's spit is sometimes scary, and it can make people depressed without even realizing it. Over time, people's spiritual energy will be hollowed out, and no matter how optimistic people are, they may be dragged down.

What about me, someone who wasn't very cheerful in the first place?

Just like the original decision, I still think that keeping Lan Sheng and this home is the best and best choice.

However, love has faded, marriage is broken, Lan Sheng can't keep it, and as for home, it has never really existed.

I felt a chill in my heart, and after being at a loss for a long time, I said, "Who can say what will happen in the future?" If that's the case, I'm not afraid. ”

"Zhu Niang......" Yue Ying shouted, and suddenly hugged me.

"Even if you will endure hardships and be scolded...... I'm going to ...... with Zhu Niang too," Yue Ying said intermittently.

I was stunned, patted her on the back, and comforted, "Maybe it's not that scary, let's not think about it yet." ”

Yue Ying slowly let go of her hand and said, "I just hope that Zhu Niang has a good home, since Zhu Niang has made up her mind, I will know how to help Zhu Niang in the future." ”

I smiled slightly and said, "What are you going to help?" And he said, "I will be satisfied that you can accompany me like this." ”

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In the early ninth day of September, Lan Sheng came back from Pingjiang. I'm pouring the chrysanthemums I picked in the yard with Yueying on Yuanbian, planning to dry them and make pillow cores.

When I looked up, I realized that he was standing in the courtyard at some point, looking at me, as if he had been here for a long time.

If it had been in the past, I would have rushed forward without hesitation, snuggled up to him, and looked at him carefully, as if I wanted to make up for all the lovesickness on weekdays.

But this time, when I found him, I was stunned for a moment, then stood up and walked up to him, smiled slightly, and greeted, "When did you come back?" ”

Lan Sheng didn't know where to put his hands crampedly, squeezed out a smile for a while, and said, "I just came back, and I came after seeing my mother." ”

I lowered my eyes and was silent, thinking to myself that Lan Sheng and I were really not as good as before.

In this way, it seems to start to become awkward. I asked, "Where's your cage?" ”

He spread his hands and said, "It's close to home, so I don't bring a cage." After a pause, he said, "I will go to Pingjiang again, and I plan to bring some winter clothes over." It's getting colder. ”

I said yes, and then said, "I'll get you ready." ”

Lan Sheng looked at Yuanbian with chrysanthemums and said, "What are you going to do?" With that, he walked over.

I walked with him and replied, "Dry the chrysanthemums and make pillows." ”

He smiled and said, "Make one for me too." ”

"Okay." I said, suddenly feeling a little strange in my answer, and added, "I'm definitely going to have one for you." ”

Lan Sheng squatted down and said to Yueying: "Yueying, you go down first, I'll get it here." ”

Yueying looked at me, and I pursed my lips and nodded, motioning for her to leave.

Only me and Lan Sheng were left in the courtyard. He stretched out his hand to sort the chrysanthemums one by one and spread them evenly on the round flat, without making a sound.

I also bent down, poured the remaining chrysanthemums from the bamboo basket on the round flat, and then arranged the chrysanthemums evenly with him.

This way of getting along is actually very good, I'm tired of arguing, tired of suspicion. If you only treat Lan Sheng as an ordinary person like now, everything will be much calmer.

It's not noisy, it's not noisy, it's hard to work together, and it's really a bit quiet.

I thought silently, enjoying the peace and beauty of this moment.

He suddenly reached over and grabbed my hand, and said softly, "Sister Wan." ”

I didn't answer, just looked at him.

Lan Sheng rubbed my hand and said, "I always feel that you treat me a little better than before." Once upon a time, when I came back, you saw me, and you couldn't stop talking. ”

I didn't say anything. I am most afraid of his expectations, as if it has shattered my inner peace again.

He continued: "Now you make me feel a little afraid to approach, and I dare not talk to you more, for fear that if I stay with you for less than half an hour, I will quarrel again. Actually, I would love to have more to say to you, but I don't know what you want to hear. He squeezed my hand and asked, "Do you think so in your heart?" ”

I was silent for a while, raised my head, and said, "Isn't the best state for two people to get along with each other is that even if they don't say anything, they won't feel embarrassed?" I think it's good to say whatever you want, and you won't feel embarrassed to be silent when you don't want to talk, so why bother pursuing that? (To be continued.) )