There are so many things in childhood, where to start?

For as long as I can remember, I think it should have been when I was six or seven years old, until I left it at the age of 11 to study in the commune. www.biquge.info During that time, in addition to cold, hunger, illness, ignorance, and even the fear of death, I remember the most things.

To this day, I also remember the feeling of cold and hunger. When I told my daughter about this history, she thought it was incredible. At that time, there were no clothes, I remember wearing old and torn clothes worn by my brothers and sisters, which were too long. At least until the age of 8, he has not worn socks, no sweater, only a few single clothes, and in winter, he has to carry a fire cage (a kind of heating tool made of charcoal) to school every day, otherwise he will shiver with cold. At that time, I ate cassava porridge every morning and noon, and I didn't see a few grains of rice, and I was often so hungry that I had to bring a few cassava sticks and bake them in a fire cage to relieve my slander, so the classroom was always filled with the fragrance of cassava, and now I can feel that special smell when I think about it. If you want to eat pork, that's basically impossible. Therefore, it has become a dream to eat a big meal during the New Year's holiday. Next door to my house, there is a fifth uncle of Baoguang, who is a natural good hunter of game, frogs, mice, birds, bamboo shoots and maggots, often wafting a strong fragrance at night, making our mouths water. I was very impressed by a sentence from a little girl in the neighborhood who said during a chat: "Alas, it would be nice to have meat once a week (at that time)!" That tone and expression are still vivid in my mind and cannot be forgotten.

On top of that, you're constantly threatened with death. At that time, there were many children in each family, and the parents worked day and night in the production team, where could they take care of the children? Most of them were brought up by their own brothers and sisters. For as long as I can remember, many times I played with my younger brother and two children, or with the older children in the village, and I could go wherever I wanted, unlike today's children, who were as tightly guarded as bank vaults, and they were always afraid that the traffickers would take the children away, and they were afraid that they would encounter some danger. Indeed, children who are not big or small are like herding sheep, and there are always a lot of accidents, and I have at least four times, which are almost fatal.

The first time was when I was about 7 years old, I went swimming with a few older children, and it was a dam that we used in our paper workshop, and the water was so deep that it was a disaster for any child. I distinctly remember that when I jumped from a height, I hit my head on a rock, and then I didn't know anything, how long it was in the water, I still don't know, and when I woke up, I suddenly had a feeling that I was going to die, or that I was already dead, and it was very strong anyway, and the body didn't seem to belong to me anymore. But after a while, I surfaced and caught a clump of aquatic weeds, and I burst into tears and cried in panic, but no one around me noticed me, and I was still playing in the water as if nothing had happened. So I didn't dare to go into the water for many years to come.

The second time seems to be when I was 7 or 8 years old, I made a gun with a few children, a gun that uses wild fruits and fruits to make bullets, I quarreled with a child about a bamboo, I didn't expect this guy to pick up the knife in his hand, and stabbed me in the head, suddenly, the pain was unbearable, the blood flowed, I still remember the situation at that time, I cried and ran away, the blood rushed down from my face like flowing water, I don't know, and then a villager saw it, and immediately took out all the tobacco from the cigarette pouch, I wanted to cover the wound, but it was washed away by blood again, and then he also shouted in horror: Bao Zhao (my father's name) The fourth child has been cut off! Many people ran over and took out the tobacco, my brother was writing slogans at school, and he also ran back, and everyone covered the blood with all their hands and feet, and then raised it for half a year. The place where it was cut still has a visible scar, and when the hair is a little shorter, it is clearly visible. Later, an old gentleman who looked at the face also said, thanks to this knife, it helped you open your eyes, otherwise, you would not have today's achievements, what nonsense!

The third time, when I was 8 or 9 years old, my brother and I were playing with each other, and we stepped on a hot lime pile and fainted. When I woke up, my parents pinned me to a bench and put the rotten leg in a bucket of urine - we used to pull urine in a bucket and wait for a bucket before dumping it into the production team's manure pit to earn a share of the work. At that time, there was no medicine, all of them relied on this kind of home remedies to treat injuries, and the above mentioned was cut once, as if it was dressed with pot ash. This bubble was more than a month, and then it slowly got better.

The fourth was a very fatal one. It seems that when I was 10 years old, the pine trees of the production team at that time had a big insect plague, and many pine leaves were gnawed away. Later, it was discovered that the worm was hateful, but its chrysalis was very tasty and could solve slander. Therefore, almost every day, a large number of villagers go up the mountain to find the pupa to eat. Of course, I also went, but on the first day, when I came back, the ring finger of my right hand began to itch and sore and have a fever, which was very uncomfortable. We still don't know if it's a bug infection or a snake bite, but I cried that night and it was horrible. The villagers recommended a lot of herbs and home remedies to no avail. My whole hand was swollen like a big pumpkin, and I had a high fever, I fell into a state of near coma, and the feeling is still very clear, I felt that I was in the sky, floating, and I felt that I had wandered away from my body, so after more than a month, I was sent to the commune health center by my parents, and I was still in a coma at first, and then I heard that it took a lot of medicine to control it. But the purulent hand never broke itself, and one day, I vividly remember that a doctor took out a knife and slashed it under the pretext of looking at my hand, and the blood gushed out, and a great pain made me cry! To this day, my right ring finger still can't be extended, so that in the years to come, I am ashamed to show people, he is almost the source of my timidity and inferiority, since then I have become very sensitive, many activities that require the use of the right hand I refuse to participate, such as salutes, some games, such as guessing the code, I never use the right hand to guess the code - but it is a capital worth bragging, I often boast, like your level, my left hand guessed to win you!

The most recent time I was sick was this time, and I was in the intensive care unit (ICU) for 21 days! My attending doctor and director of the neurology department is my fellow countryman, and when he saw me, he only had one sentence, he said, "Your life is really big!" At the time, I wondered if I was going to die. A coffin lay in front of my bed, the department was not surprised, ignored it, but I was frightened, and was persuaded away by my eldest brother with 30 yuan - of course, it was not that I died, but because of the tragedy of one body and two lives in the hospital at that time. In the ICU, every time I heard a cry, I knew that someone was leaving.

It's a cruel thing to remember the past. In my hometown, Zhong Qingshou is a well-known figure for women and children, who once died for a long time and came back to life. I asked him what he saw, and he said that he was going through a dark tunnel and saw a bright light in front of him, and an old man said to him: "You can't go there." So he stopped, came back, and came back to life again. So I believe in the existence of the soul and in retribution, so I didn't do anything bad. But, those villains, how come he hasn't gotten retribution yet?

In retrospect, in fact, it is a very difficult thing for a person to grow up, no matter how old he is, and there are always a lot of hardships waiting for him. In retrospect, of course, we grew up almost on our own, and every day is fraught with danger in the eyes of modern man. If now, we go swimming, parents may forbid it; Playing with knives will be forbidden, and it is dangerous to leave the sight of parents. However, we still grow up, so I have always thought that there is a certain fatalism in the growth of man, and if he wants to die, he will die at any time; Those who don't die can always save the day. As I write this, I report that the number of people killed in violent conflict in South Sudan over the past year in 2014 could be in the thousands, if not tens of thousands. Ebola has ravaged Africa, with more than 2,000 people infected and more than 7,000 dead. Human life is so fragile that people can't help but feel the impermanence of life, and I thank God for allowing me to sit here and write some words to this day. At this time, for those who died young, how can I say that I am not lucky? If so, what else is there to complain about?

Lung Ying-tai, a well-known writer in Taiwan, said that when we were 12 years old, our teacher sat on the podium and said to us in a warm and calm voice: "Children, if you meet again at the age of 12 today, after 40 years, you will find that among the 50 of you, two people will suffer from severe depression, two people will die of illness or accident, five people are still struggling with food and clothing every day, one-third of you feel that your marriage is not very happy, one person will commit suicide because of it, and two people will suffer from cancer." Of the four brightest and best children of you, two will become doctors or engineers or businessmen, and the other two will spend their lives in despair and hardship. All other people will experience marriage, childbirth, work, retirement, life is made up of a touch of sadness and a touch of happiness, go through each day with a little anticipation, occasional excitement and silent disappointment, and then with a kind of 'understand' that you want to say but can't, make a final turn and leave. ”

This is the impermanence of life.