Now, let me go back to my 1983 (in fact, it is not accurate to say this, it should be the second half of 1983 and the first half of 1984), the reason why I look back at my 1983 in this way, there is no doubt that it was a very important year in my life, and it was also a year full of sweat and tears. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

In the second half of 1983, I returned to my hometown where I had been away for four years, and it is not accurate to say that I had left, because during those four years, I had to go home almost every Saturday to get money and pick up rice and firewood. Since it was my own request to take a leave of absence, I didn't lose anything at first, and I quickly integrated into the ranks of the young people in the village. At that time, girls came to the village almost every few days to go on a blind date, so it was very lively at night. There were three fashionable young men in the village, each of whom bought a Sanyo tape recorder - a novelty at the time. Dressed in bell bottoms and with tape recorders turned on at a loud volume, they sang Hong Kong's radio dramas and roared around every corner of the village. I still sing a lot of sentences, such as "A flower blooms ten miles of incense, and the wind and rain beat the branches and leaves longer", "Public, work hard and live together, you see a good scenery everywhere" and so on. We went to the blind date's house every night and made harsh comments on the girls who came to the blind date, making some yellow jokes. I went there so many times that the matchmakers noticed me. At that time, my father was cleared back by the credit union for a dollar a year of service, so he opened a grocery store, and every few days he went to the department store in the town to pick up some goods and sell them, as if he were a rich family, so that after a while, they wanted to help me find a girl to meet, of course, I refused at the age of 15.

But those cosy feelings are very superficial. It turns out that people in the city can live like this. I soon immersed myself in a deep distress, that year, because my father was ill, I accompanied her to the county hospital for treatment, and then went to Wuzhou City, where my eldest brother worked, for a few days, and those days had a great impact on me. At that time, Wuzhou City was a prosperous and unusual metropolis in the eyes of ordinary people, and I was deeply attracted by this colorful world.

Therefore, not long after I went back, I stole 200 yuan from my family and took a boat through Wuzhou alone to Rongqi, Shiqi (now Zhongshan), Xiaolan and other places in Guangdong. It was my first time away from home, it was my life on the run, and I didn't know why my 15-year-old self had so much courage, maybe it was an escape, maybe it was a period of rebellion. I remember that at that time, the accommodation required a letter of introduction from the brigade. Of course I didn't. I had someone else's voter card in my pocket, and after I had been soaking it for a long time, people saw that I was so pitiful, so they let me move in. However, Zhongshan at that time was just like that, and it was similar to our county, so it was a little more lively. I originally wanted to go there to work, but I couldn't find the north and the money was about the same, so I came back.

My father was furious at my running away from home, and he restricted me from spending even a penny. And put almost all the farm work on me, the eldest sister and the third sister have already married, and there is no labor in the family, which is inevitable. Under these circumstances, I slowly began to get into the field work, like all the young people in the village, ploughing, harrowing, sowing, planting, plowing, spraying, and harvesting. In less than two or three months, I became extremely skilled in every farm work, and I began to dare to carry hundreds of pounds of rice in the dark night without fire on a dark and windy night. This is the result, but the process is long and arduous. When I was plowing, because the ploughing oxen did not listen to the call, I sat on the ground in the cold water of the rice field and cried loudly; When picking rice, he couldn't bear the pain in his shoulder, so he angrily threw the rice to the ground; During the raking day, I tripped and fell into the water and was dragged by the oxen for more than ten meters...... I don't know how many times I've cried, and I'm beginning to regret deeply that I didn't cherish the leisurely days of studying.

However, all the farm work is not worth mentioning at all compared to the work in the paper workshop. Papermaking is the main source of income for our village, so my family decided to start a workshop that belongs to our family. His father wouldn't, years of credit union work alienated him from the job, and he was in poor health and had to take care of his grocery store. So I started from scratch, followed my fifth uncle from chopping bamboo, and slowly learned all the techniques, although Zhu Zhu was smart, but learning this job made me suffer a lot, and I suffered a lot. After completing his studies, it is like a song: "Pity my young Zhu Yu, suffering awaits him in the future"!

So far, I have not encountered such a hard work as papermaking, my daily work, is equivalent to holding 40 pounds of things in the water, bending down to 80 degrees and then straightening, and then getting two meters away, a total of about 3,000 times to repeat this work, and then, carrying a giant tree weighing about 160 pounds, intermittently supporting for an hour, all day long, the bones seem to be scattered. In winter, the water is cold and biting, and it often lasts less than half an hour before it becomes numb and stiff. There was a pile of firewood burning there, so I put it in the fire and burned it (not roasting, but burning), and when the bones were itchy and painful, I slowly roasted it, and my hands felt again, and a new round of work began. I didn't go home until 8 or 9 o'clock in the evening, ate some food, went to bed, and got up before dawn the next day, and my body was still tired. Even when it comes to selling paper, you have to pick it to the bank of the Huanghua River 5 kilometers away, and you have to walk for 1 hour, all of which are rugged mountain roads, uphill and downhill, and indescribable hardships. Sometimes I have to pick up five loads a day, a load of 120 pounds, and when I come back, I have to help my father's grocery store pick up some goods back, and I have persisted for almost a whole year.

In this way, my mother worked on the farm, my father took care of his grocery store, and I buried my head in my workshop. The days are endless, and every day seems to have endless work. There is too little labor at home, this time my mother promised the matchmaker, to help me find a family business, the only condition is that the person is big enough, can work, it seems that this time I am not so opposed, it is said that the girl's mother came to meet me, very much in favor of this family business, the woman also asked my companion about my situation, and secretly saw me on the street a few times, very satisfied. If I hadn't gone back to school, it would have been almost a foregone conclusion. The girl was said to be surnamed Qin, and when I returned to school after taking a leave of absence, I asked her classmates in her village, and the classmates said that she was a very handsome girl, and I was a little confused, but I soon forgot about it. I wonder how she is now?

With such a heavy workload, I fantasize about having an easy job. So, I began to secretly learn fortune telling from a fortune teller, and I also bought a lot of related books from street stalls, such as "Mai Physiognomy", "Feng Shui and Geography", "Guiguzi Divine Physiognomy", "Liu Bowen Baked Cake Song", etc., and then in the dead of night, I studied endlessly, although it was very tiring. My brother-in-law, a barefoot doctor who was famous in his village, asked me to study medicine with him, but I thought it was too complicated and far less interesting than fortune-telling feng shui, so I refused. But after studying for a few months, I was overwhelmed by mantras such as "Jiazi and B are ugly and gold in the sea", "A has returned to A, and B and C are the beginning", and finally gave up. However, I still have a little bit of fur kung fu, and in the future, in society, I can recite a few mantras and songs at every turn, which can also intimidate many people. For those who are interested, we can discuss it together.

After giving up fortune-telling, I became interested in poetry, so I bought some books such as "Enlightenment of Sound Rhythm", "Rhyme of Flat Water", and "Twenty-four Poems" to study, and sometimes chanted aloud in my room: clouds to rain, snow to wind, evening to clear sky. Laihong is against the swallow, and the bird is against the songworm. Three-foot sword, six-jun bow, Lingbei to Jiangdong. The summer palace in the world, the wide cold palace in the sky. On both sides of the strait, the smoke and willows are green, and the spring rain in a garden is red. The two temples are windy and frosty, and the guests who travel early on the way; A cloud of smoke and rain, a night fishing by the stream...... Very intoxicated. During that time, I also wrote a lot of ancient style poems, of course, there are also modern poems, and I made a lot of couplets. However, this enthusiasm was squeezed out of the sky by hard labor in less than two months.

The hard days were so hard that I gradually became numb, and I even felt that my whole life was going to be like this. In 1984, the seventh sister will take the college entrance examination, according to her results, it should be no problem to be admitted to a secondary school, then I will continue to earn money for her and her younger brother to study. However, she was actually killed during the pre-exam, and returned home in disgrace, and at first, the teacher told her to tutor for a year, and she was also prepared. At this time, frightened by the hard work, I suddenly proposed to go back to studying. My father and mother thought twice and agreed to my request. As for my sister, from the age of 18, she began to work in the countryside for 10 years from 1984 to 1994, and all this was because of my family and me.

Maybe in my life, my sister is the person I am most sorry for. As a man, I chose to run away from the battle when it was most wrong, pushing my 18-year-old sister with my heavy work and dilapidated home, and letting her support me and my brother to finish a few years of high school and four years of college (my brother was a two-year secondary school). The work she did, as I did in 1983 and 1984, may have to be under more pressure - almost all the young men and women in the village have gone to work in Guangdong, and the psychological torture of the suppressed desire of young people to yearn for the outside world is unbearable for ordinary people. But she couldn't go, because the family couldn't do without her.

In 1984, I didn't understand these truths, I only knew that my escape was the right thing to do. When I realized, it was time for me to go to college and spend the money my sister earned every month, and that feeling of remorse and guilt never disappeared, and it became stronger and stronger. I've always wanted to help her with something, like help her find a good job, but I can't help him because I can't help her, which I'll keep coming up with in many chapters. When I think of my sister, my sister who is suffering, my sister who died early, I can't help but burst into tears.

Later, I imagined more than once that if I had gone to Guangdong to work since 1983, what would have been my destiny? In 2014, there was a word called "willful" that was very popular, and I think that in 1983, I was very willful.