In fact, fate is always hard to find, and women are definitely not all of a man, I understand this, so I know what I am doing.

Some people may feel that I am a contradictory person, and there seems to be no clear direction in my thoughts.

Indeed, I admit it myself, and I have come to this point because of my own contradictions.

I can't help but be contradictory, and my contradictions have their own objective reasons.

First of all, in terms of love, I used to treat love, single-minded, persistent, dreaming of a lifetime, at that time, except for Cheng Lin, I really never thought about other women, as for what kind of waves are not waves, or what type of women will perform when they are waves, etc., I have never been interested, at that time I have been advocating pure love, I think love should not have other impurities.

However, Cheng Lin eventually changed my view of love, and it was my most beloved woman who became my love terminator.

Since then, I don't have the same single-minded thoughts about love as I used to be, even if I like a woman very much, but at best I only like it, and I am more interested in the flesh (0) body, and I will never give up the whole fancy world for a certain woman, because I am no longer so naïve.

The change in this process is actually an evolution of my own contradictions, from purity to current evil, can I not be contradictory in my heart?

I have read a lot of books on entrepreneurship before, and I know many examples of successful people, they are all from small to large, step by step, and I am sure that the entrepreneurial model is the most correct.

But then, rather ironically, fate changed my original opinion.

The first pot of gold in my life was actually obtained through speculation, which directly crossed the hardships of entrepreneurship and came smoothly, and it was also a huge profit.

It's just that the acquisition of benefits does not really reflect my own value, although I became rich overnight, but where is my own value? Are the things I have paid in the process of speculation really proportional to what I have gained now?

So this process is another contradiction, so much so that I often can't help but wonder my own ability, am I really entitled to have those 26 million?

However, twenty-six million belong to me really, and I have no reason to doubt anything. Bare. The naked money stimulated my inner desire to a certain extent, just like the meat (0) body transaction with Deng Yingmei several times before, and the play with Mo Lanxin for no reason, the depravity of human nature in this also confuses me even more.

In this way, I am even more conflicted, and even my normal outlook on life has been impacted.

To sum up, the two most important parts of a man's life, career and love, have unconsciously changed my ideology, but I am not ready to change, but the reality came too suddenly, in this case, can I not contradict it?

I feel like an embarrassed post-80s generation who has always armed myself with that conservative ideology, but when I was full of confidence in myself and ready to use everything to make a big difference, the new trend of reform and opening up suddenly swept through our lives.

So everything changed, and I felt more and more that everything I used to believe in was actually meaningless, and it became more and more incompatible with real life.

I don't want to change, but I have to change, because the world has changed, I don't change what I do, as long as I don't want to be eliminated by life, I have to change.

So I became what I am now, struggling with my inner contradictions, but I couldn't find the right direction.

In the face of my career, although I respect the correct entrepreneurial model, I still yearn for the next opportunity in my heart, and the best is still speculation, I have tasted the sweetness of speculation, and I am still eager for huge profits.

In the face of love, I also yearn to experience different types of women, because each woman's performance is different when she gets up, since every woman is different, then I can experience different freshness every time, maybe this is the fundamental reason why I am getting more and more.

But the funny thing is that although I yearn for different types of women, I still hope that every woman is loyal to me, maybe men think the same way, or women think the same way, this is the selfish psychology of human beings.

Everyone hopes that others will learn from Lei Feng, and then they can take advantage of it, almost everyone thinks like this, but everyone will not say their true thoughts in their hearts, and they have to pretend to be very decent on the surface, isn't this also a contradiction?

In fact, human beings themselves are full of contradictions, so my current contradictions are also a normal phenomenon, there is nothing difficult to understand, people, it is better not to take everything too seriously, we must know how to free ourselves.

So on the afternoon of the weekend, I received a call from Zhang Yan, although I was still thinking about Zhang Lijuan before, but as soon as I connected the phone, I could still face the relationship between me and Zhang Yan quite calmly, and I felt that my skin was indeed getting thicker and thicker.

Zhang Yan told me on the phone that her old father was seriously ill, and she could not rush back for the time being, and she needed to stay in the hospital to accompany the patients.

Of course I have no problem, but I am also very worried about Zhang Yan's situation, accompanying the patient is not a trivial matter, I told her to take care of her body too, and at the same time I also asked Zhang Yan's opinion, should I also go over to visit, after all, the relationship between me and Zhang Yan, her father is seriously ill, and it is not appropriate for me not to come forward.

Zhang Yan rejected my kindness on the phone, and she also explained the reason to me, because Zhang Yan's marriage was arranged by her parents, so the second elder still hoped that Zhang Yan could get back together with her husband, of course, Zhang Yan was resolutely opposed, but if I suddenly appeared as a third party at this time, although my original intention was good, it would definitely cause the second elder's disgust to a large extent.

So Zhang Yan recognized my filial piety to her father, but she didn't agree that I would appear in her life now, so it was also for the good of both of us.

I understood what Zhang Yan meant, so I didn't insist anymore, I asked Zhang Yan when she would come back, whether I needed to ask her for leave and other small details, Zhang Yan said that she had already called the factory, as for when she could come back, she couldn't say, it could only be based on her father's condition.

Then I comforted Zhang Yan on the phone, and I won't say more about the specific details, in short, Zhang Yan doesn't have as much ideological pressure as I imagined, and she is still relatively strong in this regard.