I shuddered when I thought about what had happened recently, and I felt like I was broken when I thought about it. There have been several times when I can't write and want to delete the article, sitting in front of the computer, I even want to die.

Writing for me at the beginning was to dispel boredom, and I can say that there are no high-sounding reasons. So when other friends ask me what I do every day, I am vague.

Because of professional problems, I encountered a lot of difficulties when writing the script, so when I couldn't write the script, I couldn't help but write some random messy things, some of which existed in my mind, undisciplined, very funny ideas.

It's good to be able to dispatch these emotions.

Just like when I was a child, I didn't dare to read the essay to my parents, and now too, sometimes I don't dare to read the things I write. I have always suffered from a very serious shame disease, which leads to writing essays, while despising myself, I am very happy to write. But I didn't dare to face myself after writing it.

The first article I wrote before, about 180,000 words, was written about adventure, but it was designed to be violent and was locked up for several chapters, but then it wasn't that I couldn't write it, but I felt too ashamed when I was writing the article and deleted it.

After all, not everyone can accept the strange brain hole in the heart of the person you know, the reader has some sustenance in the text, or the dissatisfaction and regret of reality, everyone can get a kind of satisfaction from the text, I don't know if I will be beaten if I say this.

I still remember when I was a child, my table mate liked to read online novels, and everyone disdained them, thinking that these things were too nutritious or too low-level. I admit that I don't have enough experience to write something with enough depth, but that's what I'm after.

or a smooth plot, or a full character, or a plot with ups and downs. These are all things that I need to improve at the moment.

To be honest, the fact that my family checked my water meter really made me feel very panicked.

Sitting in front of a computer with a frightened face and glazed eyes.

The hand was raised, intending to delete the text.

I myself am a serious shame sufferer, and this joking act seems to me to be like being stripped naked and being framed up for criticism.

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The above is the author sitting in front of the computer with trembling fingers. I'm sorry for the incoherent words. But since I have opened a pit, I will not abandon the article.