My mother gave birth to me at the age of sixteen, my father was an alcoholic, drunk, saw my mother on the road, pulled her to do something by the grass, and then my mother had a big belly, and she couldn't stand the crazy words of the village, so she had to marry him, and when my father was thirty years old, my mother was sixteen.

I never thought dad was a good thing, since I was a child, the men in our family never stopped, many men came out of my mother's room and went in again, my mother was scarred every day and didn't have a piece of intact skin. And he, at that time, still pulled her, beat her and scolded her, the most profound words I remember are.

"You*, you can do it with others, but not with Lao Tzu?" At that time, I didn't understand the meaning of this sentence, but I stood not far away, watching my mother crying, kneeling on the ground and begging him to let him go, of course, the result was not to let go.

"This is the fate of women who don't care for themselves, they deserve it!" At that time, my grandmother would stand in front of me and close the window, say with a disgusted face, and then babble bad things about my mother, saying that if it weren't for her, how could my dad be like this, I don't pity anyone, I just stand there quietly, as if listening to other people's stories.

When I was a few years old, I already knew that my dad forced my mom to sell to make money for him to drink, don't ask me why I know when I'm so young, my grandmother says this in my ear every day, even if I don't know what it means to sell, I also know that it's not a good word.

He never cared about me, only when he was drunk, he either beat me up, or took my mother out, and after I took my mother out, she took me out, and my dad beat her as much as she wanted, and even worsened.

It was my grandparents who brought me, but my grandmother disliked me for being a girl, losing money, but reluctantly gave me a house to live in, the only good grandfather to me was a stuffy gourd, every day in addition to work, is to sit under the eaves and smoke a dry tobacco, occasionally go out to play, others give him a little snack, he pockets, when he goes home, he secretly gives me with his grandmother behind his back, grandma is the head of the family, grandpa listens to her everything and never disobeys his will.

At that time, I was very happy, in this big family, there was always one person, who warmed my heart, but when I was five years old, he was gone, liver cancer, no diagnosis and treatment, but a month, is to leave this world, the person who loves me the most is gone, my life is even more unbearable, grandpa left, grandma became no different from them, beat me, scolded me, said that I was my nemesis, killed grandpa.

But I still thank her, she didn't drive me away, I can not face the drunken father every day, because I am afraid of him, afraid that he will pick up the things around me and beat me in the next moment.

When I was six years old, the children in the village were going to school, although the small mountain village was poor and backward, but the nine-year compulsory education villagers still knew that the children also had to be completed, and every child was going to school, but no one in the family thought that there was a child like me to study, I stood at the door every day, watching the children who read happily carrying their schoolbags to read, at that time I was very happy, because I had no friends. At that time, I saw a lot of children passing by my house, even though they never looked inside!

"What are you doing at the door, don't you go cook!" Grandma put the hoe on the ground, and when she saw me, she waved the hoe over, and I hurriedly walked inside, and I was six years old, and I was responsible for the family's meal.

If I don't do well, I will be beaten, I endure silently, I am used to this kind of life, I pick up the discarded clothes from the entrance of the village, sew and wash them myself, although it looks dirty, occasionally some villagers will give me one or two clothes that they want to discard, although the big and small, but enough for me to be happy for several days, I have never worn new clothes, because no one has bought them for me.

When I was eight years old, my mom suddenly went out and bought me a school bag and put it in front of me: "Momoko, you can go to school tomorrow!" ”

I saw the bruises on her sallow face, and at that time, I suddenly felt that she was very tall, and my two-year dream could finally come true.

"When I go out of study, I'll take you away!" I told her that although she has been ignoring me, disgusting me, beating me and scolding me, but at this moment, I am really moved, like a long drought and a rainy day, and her good point is, in my opinion, a great relief.

She just sneered and walked away tremblingly, obviously only twenty-four years old, looking still in her twilight years.

It was my father who sent me to school, and that day he was so drunk that day, with the tuition in his pocket, and a bottle of wine in his hand that led me towards school.

"If you lose money, you have to spend money to eat and drink for nothing!" He kicked me without taking a sip of wine, all the way from home to school, and when he got to the school gate, he even worsened.

Many parents and children looked at me at the school gate and were bruised by him, many of them had smiles on their faces, and some even shook their heads.

"What a wreck! How did you come from such a family? ”

I kept my head down and didn't look up, I just let him play, he was tired, he lay on the ground and fell asleep, I took the money out of his pocket and walked inside.

I don't know what reading is, but I often hear the older generation in the village say that reading changes fate, I hate this family, I want to take my mother away, so I want to study.

But I was wrong, reading books can't change my fate, it can only make me suffer endless humiliation.

All my classmates rejected me and stayed away from me, everyone saw me with a disgusted expression on their faces, as if I was some kind of plague, at that time in school, the cafeteria was steamed rice, and I brought rice and vegetables by myself, I just brought a raw sweet potato every day, or I secretly took it with my grandmother, put it in my school bag, brought it to school, carefully washed it, and put it on the steamer, this is my lunch.

But every time, I picked up my sweet potatoes on the ground, and when my classmates saw the breakfast I brought, they just threw it on the ground, and I could only take out my sweet potatoes from the dark corner of the steam room, wash them, and eat them raw.

"Haha, a beggar is a beggar!" Some classmates stood not far away to watch me eat raw sweet potatoes, with disdain in their eyes, their rice bowl is white rice, with meat and vegetables on it, very beautiful, looking at such food, I am very envious, all year round, I have never eaten meat, it is rice, but occasionally eat a few times.

This article is from Reading Books and Novels